Support thread for those experiencing or recently experienced a MC/MMC

[AMS19]

Hi ladies

A few of us got talking on another thread and found having each other in the same boat, whilst devastating, helpful. So here is a little thread so we can stay in touch and support each other through this journey.

Anyone who has recently experienced or is experiencing a MC/MMC please join us. We are just on the start of our journey ❤

I found out I had a MMC on 21st December at 9+5. This was following a scan that showed a baby with a heartbeat 3 weeks earlier. My body hasn't let go at all, with no bleeding, so I'm booked in for surgery tomorrow. The hardest thing waiting over Christmas 💔

AMS, good luck tomorrow! I'm going to catch up with the messages tomorrow. Good night ladies, one day at a time xxx

Happy birthday @DMT1982 I'm so sorry this won't be the one you thought it would be for so many reasons. I have everything crossed and faith you'll be at very least pregnant for your next one. Lots and lots of love. Thanks for all the support over the last week or so xxxx

@AMS19 I’ve just woken up and my first thought was you and you have my birthday wish today. How’s it looking? Xxx

@DMT1982 thank you so much. I hope you can still have a lovely day! Honestly I'm not so sure. They still haven't managed to book me back in the system and I know ideally they had wanted to do it at 8am but given I'm not even booked in that seems very unlikely....so not feeling very confident xx

@AMS19 try not to worry about what they ideally wanted to do today when you left yesterday as lots changes. I didn’t go down until 9.30 yesterday and the girl after me when down when I came back so that was 10.30ish I think. Keep on at them and don’t be told no without seeing someone higher up if need be because you are as important as anyone else there xxx

@DMT1982 thank you. I really hope you're right. I want this sorted so much today it is making me feel so stressed out. But it is out of my hands, I need a bit of luck on my side xxx

Morning everyone. @AMS19 I really hope you can go ahead today and happy birthday to you @DMT1982

@ELM7 I wish you were not in this club again it’s not the place anyone wants to be but we will all offer you a hand to hold and support you as much as we can during this horrible time.

You said you had the surgery before and although you were sore once the GA wore off it was ok after that? I know the 4th seems like a long time away but it’s Monday and if you prefer the surgery option then my advice would be to wait however I completely understand if you wanted to try the medical option. You will be guided by the hospital when you go today. Both myself and @AMS19 were offered surgery however I know @AMS19 is into her second day of trying to get the surgery. I hope you are treated well at the hospital today and you come away knowing all options are open to you. Whatever you decide they are all safe and as you’ve already been down the surgical route you know what to expect. It maybe worth mentioning about your recurrent losses because if you go down the surgery route I recall reading something that is you have had three they will test the tissue to try and find out if there is anything obvious causing them?

Sending you lots of love and 2021 will be a better year xxxx

@AMS19 I have everything crossed for you that they fit you in. I know it’s out of your hands which makes it even worse. Stick to your guns that you want it done if they try and persuade you otherwise xxxx

@glowingtwig yes the link that @AMS19 posted on the different types of management was very helpful but also looking on the previous thread before this one with ladies posting their experiences was also incredibly helpful with me coming to a decision. Xxxx

Thinking of you today @ELM7 xx

@ALB1990 gosh you really have been passed from Pillar to post you poor thing and you are still very much in limbo. I hope you can read through some of the posts on this thread and the last one because we have and still are going through a rollercoaster of emotions and it will normalise anything you are feeling because you are truly not alone in all this even though it’s a very lonely place to be.

Some have gone through medical, others naturally and myself I chose the surgical option which worked for me however every option is safe and you just need to be guided by the hospital but also what you read and works best for your situation. I just wanted closure and to be able to move on as soon as possible however that may not be right for you at this moment in time. Please ask us any questions or use us all to sound off. We are not experts by any means but we all have one thing in common, we want to have a healthy pregnancy and baby at the end of it all. Lots of love xxxxxx

@DMT1982 thank you, I've been doing lots of reading the past few days so I can feel as prepared and as informed as possible. We had a private scan booked for Sunday that we had booked weeks ago and I'm still going to go ahead with it in the hope they can explain a bit more about what they can see and hopefully to gain some closure for me abs my husband before I have to undergo the final scan with EPU on Wednesday. I know what you mean, I feel the same thing, I want it over and done with as soon as possible so I can have some closure and try to move forward. Also, happy birthday!

@AMS19 I hope you manage to have your surgery today, thinking of you.

X

Thanks for all your birthday wishes. I’m actually feeling ok today however won’t count my chickens and will try to rest as best I can. For anyone considering the surgical route for me it has been the best decision however I cannot compare it to anything else. I’ve hardly had any pain only mild period type pain and light bleeding. I was 9.5 weeks pregnant when the miscarriage happened and was measuring at that stage as well so I wouldn’t have fancied trying to pass everything on my own accord if I’m honest. That was a personal decision for me though and I came to that decision after reading everyone’s experiences both positive and negative on all the options.

@AMS19 any update from you?

@ELM7 also thinking of you xx

@ALB1990 I don’t blame you for going for the scan because like you say you’ll be able to ask as many questions as you want and that will put you in a stronger position to know what option is best for you. It won’t be easy seeing another scan and the image of my baby with no heartbeat on the second scan will always stay with me and Looking back I wish I had not looked at the screen.
I know you’ll be going into the new year still with no closure but it doesn’t mean that 2021 will be a bad year for you. Xxx

@DMT1982 nothing 😭😭😭 I feel like this is hopeless to be honest. I think I just need to suck it up and take the tablets x

@AMS19 I’m literally sat here with my fingers crossed for you. Have they said anything to you at all? Make sure they have not forgotten you so go up and ask someone because I was initially forgotten at first with the changeover in nights to days xxxz

@DMT1982 they know I'm here I think the issue is they've missed the window of opportunity now. Will mean waiting around all day praying they get a small gap to throw me in. I'm not even changed out my clothes so I'm not feeling like it will happen. The next time would be Monday and I'm not sure I can wait any longer xx

@AMS19 if they’ve said they will try to fit you in that’s better than being told it’s a no go for today. I hope the fact that you were told no yesterday and you’re back today will stand you in good stead for today. It’s a massive gamble I know but hang in there. You’ve come this far xxxx

@AMS19 fingers still crossed xxxx

@DMT1982 surgery cancelled. I knew it would be! But... they felt so bad about it they are couriering from another hospital a MVA kit and are going to try and perform that. They said they don't usually offer it at this hospital but are making an exception so we get this sorted today. She has assured me it is on its way already from the other hospital so fingers crossed. I've read about it, being awake will be totally shit, and I've heard it can be painful, but better than medical management...

<a class="break-all" href="https://www.google.com/url?sa=t&source=web&rct=j&url=www.uhs.nhs.uk/Media/UHS-website-2019/Patientinformation/Pregnancyandbirth/Manual-vacuum-aspiration-MVA.pdf&ved=2ahUKEwjJuIDB__ftAhV4ahUIHWVDCTUQFjABegQIIRAF&usg=AOvVaw230zxhUnlAKGia880dOvXK" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">www.google.com/url?sa=t&source=web&rct=j&url=www.uhs.nhs.uk/Media/UHS-website-2019/Patientinformation/Pregnancyandbirth/Manual-vacuum-aspiration-MVA.pdf&ved=2ahUKEwjJuIDB__ftAhV4ahUIHWVDCTUQFjABegQIIRAF&usg=AOvVaw230zxhUnlAKGia880dOvXK

Wish me luck ladies!! Xx

@AMS19 don’t worry about a thing this is what my mum was talking about and is basically what a D&C is but has been renamed over the years. You’ll be fine and it means it’ll all be over and done with today and you can move on. You’ve got this and will come out the other end of this stronger I promise xxxx

@dmt1982 thank you! To be honest, at this point I would take anything to get this over and done with! Gonna just go to town on the gas and air 😂😂😂😭😭😭 just need to hope this happens now, I cant deal with the emotional rollacoster xx

Hi ladies

Hope you’re all doing as well as can be!

Unfortunately I found out yesterday at a private scan at 8+5 that the baby had stopped developing at around 6+6.

Had it confirmed at nhs scan today but unfortunately they won’t “accept” my private scans and are making me wait a week for a rescan to confirm officially.

Just want this over with now :(

@AMS19 a lot of trusts offer this option before a GA as it’s safer than being put under so in short you’re having the same producer done but without the added risk of a GA. I’m sure they will keep to their word otherwise they would have just sent you down the medical management path. Stay positive you are so close xxxx