Miscarriage support

[Wearenotyourkind]

Hey. I am currently going through a miscarriage (8 weeks) with my first pregnancy and finding it a pretty lonely process. So I just wondered if anyone else in the same position wanted to join a thread for support etc. I know there are lots of other threads, but it's a bit overwhelming and don't want to just jump on an existing thread 💗

@Wearenotyourkind what an awful experience for you in boots. I bet you just wanted to get the hell out of there. I hope this next stage of the process for you passes quickly. It’s just at awful constant reminder of what is happening or at least that’s how it feels for me.
My DP is amazing. He is devastated like me but he is holding himself together whilst I bawl on him. I had also told three close friends we were expecting so I’ve had to tell them that it’s not to be this time and they have been great too. The bleeding was heavy today for me. I don’t think I’ve passed a sac yet. Some clots just now when I went to the toilet and quite a significant amount so perhaps it’s coming. Also I have cramped something awful today. It’s been on and off all day and when it’s on it’s awful. So yea today’s been the pits.
Lucky I work from home just now and I told my boss and she has told me to take all the time I need this week and then we can chat Monday to see if I need more time which is really useful.

@Poppypip thanks for your reassurance. It does feel devastating even though it was early. I hope your little treats today helped to lift your mood some. It’s best to roll with the feelings I think, cry when you need to and laugh if you can. Me and my partner laughed last night in bed for the first time since this all started. We were just chatting and laughing. It felt nice.

I hope everyone is keeping well and taking care of themselves. Thank you for the welcome ❤️

Hi everyone. Things have ramped up for me now. The bleeding has got heavier and having extremely strong cramps. They come in waves every few minutes.

How are you doing today @Positivity2019? Are you still experiencing cramps today? I'm really glad your partner is being supportive. Please make sure you take as much time off work as you need. I know we are all different, but this is such a traumatic experience, both physically and psychologically and we need time to recover. It's good your manager is understanding though.

Sorry to hear you were having a bad day yesterday @Poppypip. How are you doing today? Any progress? My angel baby bracelet arrived today.

Thank you for the advice about being prepared and stocking up @mrsssk. How are you doing today?

Thinking of you today for your procedure @Snapper81. Really hope it went okay and you are at home recovering now.

💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜

@Wearenotyourkind thinking of you ❤️ they're so painful aren't they, take regular paracetamol 💕💕💕

Thank you @Tbug 💕 I've got codeine but I don't think it's doing much. This is so so cruel.

I know it's so awful 😢 I did feel slightly better emotionally after it had finished ❤️❤️

That's good to know. It has really really helped to have this space and the support of other women on here. I never knew miscarriage could be like this. It breaks my heart to think it's so common and so many women have to go through this 💔

@Snapper81 I really hope things went ok today and you're resting up now. You've been in my thoughts all day.

@Wearenotyourkind sorry to hear that things have got pretty painful. I'm so grateful to you @Tbug and @Positivity2019 for helping me to prepare for what will come next.

@mrsssk and @Harrysfeet I hope you are managing to find some easier moments in amongst the sadness.

So much love for the support from all of you. I've been feeling slightly better in myself today but still exhausted and no sign of bleeding starting. I've found work a good distraction this week but definitely not in the head space to keep it going for next week.

Hi ladies,
Thank you so much for your thoughts and support yesterday. The surgery went as well as could be expected and I rested well all afternoon. I've had difficulty sleeping tonight though -I keep going over everything in my head. My little girl is staying with her grandparents tonight and I keep having horrible thoughts about her too. I just want her home and give her the biggest cuddle. I think my hormones have come crashing down or something.

The procedure itself was painful. I needed gas and air and I was also given paracetamol, codeine and diclofenac. But it was over quickly and the contractions stopped after about an hour. Bleeding has been minimal since.
I wish I could give all of you a hug. What we have been through/ going through is so rubbish but I'm so grateful to all of you for sharing how you are feeling and what you're going through. It really has helped me through the whole ordeal xx

Hello, condolences to the OP, I was wondering if anyone could give me any help or advice.. I was confirmed yesterday I’ve had a miscarriage of 5 weeks very early I know. I feel almost numb but suddenly get so angry at everything including the people closest to me, the guy I was having the baby with has not supported me in anyway, even went as far to say the dates didn’t match up anyway even though all he read off the letter was the ‘gestational age’ and presumed. I still got no apology and have blocked him. I’m feeling a bit lost and I’m not sure what to do.. any advice would be hugely appreciated x

@Wearenotyourkind how are you doing? I’ve been thinking of you. I hope you are able to rest some but I know it must be hard as the pain not only makes that hard but it’s also just an emotionally heartbreaking thing also.
I am still cramping and bleeding but earlier this morning I think I passed the sac. The worst pains came just before it and now that it’s passed the cramps have faded some. I really hope I’m on the other end of it.
Just an awful time! I keep having horrible dreams. Full of babies, other peoples babies and sometimes my own. Just done with it all.

@Poppypip Hope you’re still feeling ok. I would take the time you need from work if you can. I thought I would just jog along continuing to work but in hindsight there was just no way. I can’t do anything today, I feel spent, physically and emotionally spent.

@Snapper81 hope you’re recovering well. Rest and take care of yourself.

@Katielouisew12 Sorry to hear you’ve suffered a miscarriage and also just gutted for you that you’ve not got the support of the father. This is such an awful and emotional time. I was also just a little over 5 weeks when I started miscarrying last Sunday and it’s been one of the roughest emotional rollercoaster I’ve ever experienced.
I think you’ve done the right thing to block him. You need supportive people around you. Allow yourself to feel everything you feel and take some time to rest and recover if you can. ❤️

Evening everyone. Thanks for the messages and thoughts. It's been another difficult day for me with more contraction type cramps. I have also been sick a few times, I think caused by the pain. It seems to have eased now, but it did this yesterday and then came back with a vengeance this afternoon. Very odd pattern. I'd love to think it's all over, but I don't think I've passed enough clots/tissue yet. Really hoping I'm wrong though as I'm just exhausted- physically and mentally.

How are you all doing today?

Glad to hear the procedure is all over now @Snapper81. I can't imagine how painful it was for you but I hope the staff were supportive and helpful? Rest up tonight and give your daughter the biggest cuddle tomorrow. Her mummy is amazing 💗

Any progress yet @Poppypip? Did I read that you planned to contact the EPU today to discuss options if no movement? Sending love 💕

I really really hope you're out the end of it now too @Positivity2019. How's it been this afternoon and evening? Yes I keep dreaming about babies too. It's so fucking hard and unfair. But you have been so strong 💖

Sorry you're in this position too @Katielouisew12. I echo what @Positivity2019 said. Do you have other people to support you in real life? 💓

Thinking of you @Wearenotyourkind ❤️ I had to kinda push my little bean out :( but I do believe sometimes it changes inside of you so doesn't always come out 'whole' , so horrible :( xxx

Thank you@Tbug 💗 hope you've been getting on okay back at work?

How long did the process take for you once the severe pain started?

Yes thank you 💕 the day after the bad pain started xxx

@Snapper81 sorry to hear it was so painful but must have been a relief to have it over and done with. The healing process will take time so keep being gentle with yourself. Hugs back to you too.

@Katielouisew12 what a difficult position to find yourself in. I'm so sorry for your pain. I've found it really important to surround myself with brilliant women at this time. Hearing other people share their stories and really understand what I'm going through has been really comforting for me so do reach out to good friends.

@Positivity2019 glad you're over the worst of it physically. It will take much longer for our minds to fully process what has happened and I guess the dreams are a part of that difficult process.

@Wearenotyourkind sorry this difficult process is dragging on for you. I hope you've got chocolate and box sets to keep your strength up and distract you a bit.

I was so busy at work yesterday that I completely forgot to call and book the appointment for Monday. I definitely couldn't carry on at work now, my resilience had slipped and I sent a couple of grumpy emails I probably shouldn't have. Definitely need to think about myself not anyone else for a while. Still no progress.

I just listened to this:

podcasts.apple.com/gb/podcast/katherine-ryan-telling-everybody-everything/id1507148315?i=1000470967754

It made me laugh and cry and I found it really refreshing to hear. Might be a difficult listen for some but I found it helpful. I could particularly relate to the bit where she said she wanted to tell everyone she met in the street that she had a dead baby inside her but you can't do that because it bums people out.

Hi everyone. I thought I would let you know that I was ambulanced to hospital in the early hours and have had immediate surgery on an ectopic pregnancy. Friday was a whirlwind of a day or pain and test which culminated in being taken straight to theatre.
I how you are all doing ok or as ok as can be expected ❤️

Oh my god @Positivity2019 how awful and scary for you. I guess as you'd not had a scan before, this wasn't detected? How are you feeling now? You poor thing. I really hope your recovery from surgery is straight forward. Are you still in hospital or are you at home now? Sending you a massive virtual hug 💜

It took 3 weeks for me @Poppypip but I know everyone's different. Do you plan to call on Monday? I have absolutely no idea how you've been managing to still work. I've not been working since my first scan. Definitely time to focus on you and the next step in this horrible process. You will need all your strength, so work can wait 💛

Thank you for all the support @Tbug. You're incredible ❤️

I hope you managed to rest overnight @Snapper81 and are continuing to take things as easy as you can 💚

Also still sending love to @Katielouisew12 and @mrsssk and @Harrysfeet 💙🤍🧡

Omg @Positivity2019 that sounds awful, hope you're doing okay 💕💕💕💕

Wow @Positivity2019 you poor, poor thing. That must have been so scary for you and your OH. Hope you've got the support you need for recovery

It was awfully scary and happened very fast. I’m still in hospital as I need blood and the surgeon will talk with me tomorrow. I’ve had my right tube removed but left looks fine.

Oh @Positivity2019 I'm so sorry. It really breaks my heart thinking what you're going through. Have you been allowed visitors or are you by yourself? I really hope the nurses are being super kind and that you're getting the best care 💕💗💕

I'm so sorry this has happened to you @Positivity2019. Sending so much love 💕

@Positivity2019 my thoughts are with you too. Oh ladies, we really have been through such a tough time, havent we xx