Hi, I am reaching out for those who have been through this horrible pain.
8 days ago me and my partner paid for a private scan as I’d been in a car crash the day before. My midwife said the baby would be well protected and I didn’t need to be checked over. We wanted reassurance as I should have been 10 weeks pregnant, we had our private scan and the lady sadly told us the baby had no heart beat and stopped growing at around 6 weeks and 4 days.
I was referred to the hospital on the Monday to be told again the devastating news, accept I would need to go home for 7 days before they could start treatment. At around 3am Thursday morning I started to “miss carry” naturally and started to pass what felt like my entire body of blood. I’m also on Clexane due to a previous PE so I was extremely anxious around haemorrhaging. The bleeding finally stopped around 7am and I managed to get some sleep. Later that day the pain started to become unmanageable and the heavy bleeding started again. I managed to keep it together until the Friday morning when I felt I could no longer cope. We went to the assessment unit who in fairness responded to my pain imminently and advised I still had pregnancy tissue remaining.
Nobody could prepare me for this pain and I know everybody is different. But I just can’t get my head around what’s happened. I don’t know how I’ll ever come to terms with what’s happened and everyday feels different. Anger, exhaustion, confusion? What did I do wrong? What more could I have done?
The hospital started me on some medical treatment last night which my body still hasn’t reacted too. They sent me home to again wait and to be scanned again on Monday. The whole process is just entirely exhausting and if there’s anybody else out there going through this - you are stronger than you think.
Yesterday I thought my body couldn’t take anymore, but it has and it will carry on. This was my first planned pregnancy with my partner and we desperately want a family but of course this whole experience has been extremely daunting. I’m not sure either of us will be ready to try again until the new year.
Can anybody add to the healing process? Or share their experiences? I have a massive support network who have been overwhelming but i can’t help but feel that they don’t know exactly how im feeling. And I don’t think I know myself.