Miscarriage support

[Wearenotyourkind]

Hey. I am currently going through a miscarriage (8 weeks) with my first pregnancy and finding it a pretty lonely process. So I just wondered if anyone else in the same position wanted to join a thread for support etc. I know there are lots of other threads, but it's a bit overwhelming and don't want to just jump on an existing thread 💗

Thank you 🥰 aww, we all are for having to go through such a shit time!! Hopefully we'll look back on this one day with bumps 💕😍

No progress for me yet @Wearenotyourkind Been trying to distract myself with wine and blue cheese. I think I'm going to give it another week and then opt for medical management. I've been reassured to read that the medication doesn't affect ovulation in the next cycle.

When is your next scan @Snapper81 ? I really hope you get surgery soon.

That's a beautiful necklace @Tbug It's a lovely way to remember someone so special who will stay in your heart forever 💕

Still no progress here either @Poppypip

@Tbug I really hope so!

Hope you're hanging in there @Snapper81

💜💜💜💜

Hi girls,
Still nothing going on for me but I have been having mild cramps today and feeling off.
@Poppypip my scan is on Tuesday. It will be 8 days by then since I found out the sad news and it will be 5 weeks since baby died. I wonder what the longest amount of time is that someone has experienced before things start happening!

I was wondering the same!

@Snapper81 definitely been on my mind too. I've also been confused by the timing thing though. I was measuring 6+3 when I should have been 8+1 but there was still a weak heartbeat at that stage. So just because it measures a certain number of weeks doesn't mean that's when it sadly died, just that it was growing slower than normal.

I hope everyone is compassionate at your scan today @Snapper81 and that they can offer you surgery ASAP.

My pregnancy symptoms returned with a vengeance yesterday. Headache, nausea, fatigue, dizziness 😞 If it continues then I might ask for medical management sooner because this feels like torture.

Hope you're both doing ok @Tbug and @Wearenotyourkind

That is so unfair @Poppypip. As if it isn't hard enough already. Are there any foods that help with the nausea? My midwife has said I can change my mind at any time, so if you feel it would be better, maybe contact them to talk it through?

I've been having light bleeding since yesterday, mainly dark red/brown. So I don't know if this is the start of it or not. The midwife is ringing again tomorrow, so will see what she thinks.

Following @Tbug 's lead, I bought this today
💕

Mine started like that, dark red and brown. Hope you're both ok 💕💕💕 aww sweet ❤️

How long did if take to progress once the dark red/brown bleeding started? X

Hi ladies,
Had my scan this morning, followed by a discussion with a nurse. Surgery under general anesthesthetic wasnt offered because of coronavirus but I've opted for the surgery performed whilst I'm awake. I am scared- I've been told it will be painful but I'll have gas & air, codeine and another pain relief inserted rectally!!! It will be over after 10 minutes though. I'm also being referred for tests because it's my 2nd consecutive miscarriage and I'm 39. Unfortunately the waiting list is one year which is just too long at my age so we are going to look into going private.

@Wearenotyourkind it sounds like things are progressing for you. I really hope it happens as smoothly as possible. I'm thinking of you x

@Poppypip how are you feeling? It's all so cruel. Today has been the first day in 2 months that I havent felt sick. Like you, I've continued having pregnancy symptoms the whole way through. The nurse I spoke to also said I can change my mind at any time about how/if I want to be assisted so I'm sure that if you wanted to change your mind too x

@Tbug how are you feeling now? After my 1st MMC all I could think about was trying again. This time I'm going to take as much time as I need to recover xx

I'm so pleased you can go ahead with surgery now @Snapper81, it's really understandable that you're feeling scared but, like you say, it will all be over quickly. Make sure you've got lots of lovely things waiting for you at home.

@Wearenotyourkind I'm glad things seem to have started moving for you. Please let me know how things progress, hopefully I will be following in your footsteps. I love your little angel baby 👼 I would like to buy something to remember my first two pregnancies by.

I hope your body is starting to feel somewhat recovered @Tbug?

I spoke to EPU today. I have agreed to call them on Friday to book for medical management on Monday if things haven't moved. I'd still rather it started naturally but I can't live on a beige food diet forever!

@Wearenotyourkind 3 weeks cos I had brown bleeding for two weeks before I knew I'd lost it.

@Poppypip yeah I think so :)

@Harrysfeet oh im sorry, I have no words :( I haven't called them but maybe try it.

All stay strong ladies 💕💕💕💕💕

@Harrysfeet I am so sorry to hear about your losses. I can't begin to imagine how hard that must be. I haven't called Sands but I see they have an app and an online community too. It might be that they would be good first steps if you're not ready to talk out loud. Please be kind to yourself, there is no right way to feel or act at the moment but knowing that you are not alone in your grief is so important 💞

Hope you are getting on okay back at work @Tbug

@Poppypip it's changed to red blood now, but not heavy and no pain. The EPU midwife is ringing again today, so will talk it all through with her.

I'm not surprised you're scared @Snapper81. Do you know when this will be? I've just seen on another miscarriage thread someone described their experience of having the procedure done under local anaesthetic. Good that you're being referred for tests though.

So sorry to read about your experience @Harrysfeet. I can't imagine how difficult things have been for you. I've no experience of ringing Sands either, but I'd say if you feel you would like to, pick up the phone and call. I'm sure they will be used to taking calls from people who aren't sure what to expect or what to say. Sending love to you.

Sorry didn't see your message @Snapper81, we are gunna start trying again just took so long first time hope it's not the same :(

Hi ladies,

Hope you don't mind me joining this thread.

I'm currently going through a miscarriage at 7 weeks (started naturally but after 2 weeks of hell in EPU with a suspected ectopic pregnant and slow rising hcg).

It was my first pregnancy and very much wanted. Partner and I have been together for 6 years, we are 33 and 35 respectively and felt the time was right.

Just wondering what have people found helps during this emotional time and also roughly how long did it take for your normal period to return?

Any support is gratefully received x

@Tbug apparently women are more fertile in the 3 months after a miscarriage. It would be fantastic this applies to you. My fingers are crossed for you x
@Wearenotyourkind

@mrsssk I miscarried back in February too and my period returned 6 weeks later. It was very light but I had had surgical management so I dont think i had much lining to come away. I conceived straight away again...though unfortunately I'm back here after a 2nd MMC.

@Wearenotyourkind my surgery is 8am tomorrow. Do you know which thread it was? I would be really interested to read it x

@Snapper81 it was this one:
Missed miscarriage - pros and cons of surgical vs medical management www.mumsnet.com/Talk/miscarriage/3920194-Missed-miscarriage-pros-and-cons-of-surgical-vs-medical-management

@mrsssk so sorry you've found yourself here too. Lots of similarities with me. I was also 7 weeks when I found the baby had no heartbeat. You're close in age to me too. I'm actually still waiting for my miscarriage to progress, so I can't offer any advice regarding periods after this. But I'm sure some others who have already been through this may be able to. I've found that talking about it really helps. In the past I have had a tendency to bottle difficult things up but with this, I'm really trying to use all the support I have available to me. Sending love 💕

Hello everyone. @Wearenotyourkind thank you for inviting me into the thread. I am truly sorry for your losses, there is so little that can be said to sum up how it feels. I’ve read your conversations so far and what a lovely supportive group.
How are you all today? @Wearenotyourkind How are you doing? Have I read correctly that you’ve started to have some bleeding? I know today you were discussing with your midwife about maybe having medical management.

I started miscarrying on Sunday morning and it seems to be progressing. I was only 5+3 so I know incredibly early especially compared to what some of you are going through. This was my first ever pregnancy, it took us a year to fall and man I was so excited. I’m just heartbroken.
I did 6 pregnancy tests in all that week I found out and all were such strong positives.

It's lovely to hear from you @Positivity2019 although obviously not in the best of circumstances. You've been in my thoughts. My loss was also very early, but I don't think this means it hurts any less 💔 how is your bleeding now? Do you think you have passed the sac? I started with brown/dark red bleeding on Monday and is now definitely red. It's not heavy and no pain yet, but the midwife seems to think this is the start of it. I'm terrified and relieved at the same time. I've found this thread and others to helpful though to feel less alone. Especially when we can't see our families at the moment and we've had to go to scans alone. This was my first ever pregnancy too and we'd been trying for 9 months. We had to delay trying for 2 years as I needed 2 separate surgeries to remove fibroids, which caused heavy bleeding for months on end. They also found another large fibroid on my scan, which seems to have grown very quickly since my last surgery this time last year. I hope you also have some support in real life? Is your partner supportive and have you shared with family or friends? I usually keep these things to myself, but it's really helped to share and let people support me. Just take one day at a time and be kind to yourself. Sending love 💗

@Wearenotyourkind thank you for support. It's just as hard I think for those in early pregnancy, and I'm finding I have a real ache for the one we've just lost. I'm sure time is a good healer and I'm thankful I've found this group as well as having lovely family in real life.
It sounds like things are progressing for you naturally. My bleeding started light but suddenly became heavy. After 4 days I was back at EPU yesterday where they confirmed my hcg had dropped from over 2000 to 210. When it happens it'll happen quite quickly.
We were expecting it so managed to prepare a little beforehand with maxi pads, lots of moist loo wipes, bed pads and painkillers.
I hope the next few days are not too difficult for you. Sending my best wishes x

Just a warning to anyone thinking of going to Boots to buy maternity pads. I've just been in. Firstly, they are unhelpfully located in baby section and not sanitary wear so you are forced to look at all the baby stuff. Then at the check out, I was asked if I was part of some baby club. I said no. Cashier didn't take the hint and started prattling on about joining it etc. My husband just looked at me as clearly didn't know what to say. I just said we don't need any baby stuff and thrust my card at him.

My bleeding is slowly getting heavier now.

@mrsssk and @Positivity2019 so sorry for your losses. Sending you love and strength 💕

@Positivity2019 please don't feel the need to minimise your loss. When a baby is so wanted, a loss at any stage is a significant bereavement and we will always carry those precious tiny little scars close to our hearts.

@Wearenotyourkind sorry you had that experiences Boots. Thoughtless capitalism wins out over thoughtful compassion a lot of the time sadly. Wishing you strength for the days ahead.

I've been feeling quite heartbroken today. Trying to be kind to myself with a bubble bath and by reaching out to friends (which I'm not always very good at doing).