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Miscarriage/pregnancy loss

waiting to see if i miscarry - doctor told me anxiety will expel my baby from my womb!

367 replies

Lcy · 15/08/2007 14:27

Hi

I just need to vent. I am 10 weeks pregnant and had brown bleeding at 5-6 weeks so EPU scanned me and saw a heart beat - bleeding stopped and i felt all was ok.

Yesterday i had a big brown bleed again and incredibly sore lower back pain so went to EPU again this morning. They had a new doctor who asked me to tell him the symptoms. After talking for 10 minutes he asked me whether i could be pregnant!!! I WAS IN THE EARLY PREGNANCY UNIT !!!

He then told me that lower back pain is not a sign of miscarriage and that i should ignore it. He did an internal and i could see that the blood had changed to bright red and i started to get tearful. He told me not to get anxious because anxiety would expel the baby from my womb!

Anyway - he told me i am having another threatened miscarriage but i will just have to wait and see if i miscarry and that i cant have a scan and that i will have to wait 3 weeks for my dating scan because they are busy.

Just feeling really anxious - i am waiting for my midwife to phone me back. I know that they cant stop a miscarriage but i would like to know whether the baby is alive or not.

Vent over - Lucy

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pooka · 15/08/2007 14:28

Fingers crossed for you Lucy.
Doctor sounds like an arse. Hope the midwife more helpful.

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milfAKAmonkeymonkeymoomoo · 15/08/2007 14:32

Christ almighty I'd complain, what an arse I have just miscarried and found the junior doctors at EPU completely inadequate and useless (just my experience).

I found my GP and MW much more helpful, perhaps a talk with them would dispel any fears/concerns?

Hugs to you, horrible not knowing what is happening []]

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lemonaid · 15/08/2007 14:33

He does sound like an arse. Is there anywhere near you that you could pay for a private scan.

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Upsidedowncake · 15/08/2007 14:35

I had a really good experience with my local epu. I don't know where you are - is there another one you could go to?

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Lcy · 15/08/2007 14:35

Thanks! It was such a stressful experience - as if bleeding when you are pregnant isnt bad enough.

I just spoke to midwife (she was horrified) and she is at the hospital so she is going to the EPU to talk to doctor and try and arrange a scan.

I have also just arranged a private one for Saturday incase they wont do it.

Still bleeding so not feeling very happy

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Upsidedowncake · 15/08/2007 14:36

That's brilliant that the mw is going to help you. I hope it works out for you. So frightening.

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divastrop · 15/08/2007 14:37

for you.what a silly thing for a doctor to say.

i agree,a scan would be the best idea,at least that way you will know whats happening.

if anxiety could expel a baby from your womb then i wouldnt have any children atall!

all the best xxx

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harleyd · 15/08/2007 14:41

bloody idiot doctor! i would complain.
i hope your midwife gets you in for a scan quickly to reassure you and i hope all is well for you x

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Lcy · 15/08/2007 14:44

Just spoke to midwife. They wont scan me (i dont know why) but she is going to make an official complaint to the doctors supervisor and is sending me the forms to make one to. She has also told me to phone her if the bleeding continues/gets heavier - so at least i have a plan.

I have booked a private scan for Saturday so at least i will know one way of another.

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funnypeculiar · 15/08/2007 14:45

FFS what an arse.
I had bleeding throughout my pg with ds (now 3.5 )
I was told variously that I had placenta praevia, was miscarrying, would 'probably miscarry but try not to worry", was probably fine, had cervical erosions etc etc etc.

Bleeding was both brown & red, btw. And accompanied by lots of period type pains

Had a few occassions with dd too (now 16 mths)

Mws are generally much more sensible, and see more women who have bleeding and are OK - so have a quite different take to docs who seem to go - oh, nothign we can do, will tel them worse case scenario and send them home

I know m/c are more common than most of us realise before we have kids - but so is bleeding in pg (as common as 1/3 according to my mw.

You do know he's talking rubbish, right? You worrying will NOT 'expel' a baby. Grrrr

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funnypeculiar · 15/08/2007 14:46

why won't they scan you?

I had 3 early scans with ds (self refered to epu) after the third they did tell me not to come back unless it got much worse

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Lcy · 15/08/2007 15:02

I dont know why they wont scan me - but i dont want to go back there anyway. I spoke to private doctor and he was really nice so would prefer to pay and be treated like an intelligent human.

My midwife also told me that he swabbed me for chlamydia - and that he wasnt allowed to do that without asking my permission. Nevermind the fact that i was tested for it last time i was in the EPU - im not that sexually active.

I work in the NHS and really believe in it as an organisation - but my god they are crap sometimes - especially bad at treating people as if they dont have feelings!

Thanks for all your messages - its helped me calm down (that and the tea and chocolate)

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funnypeculiar · 15/08/2007 15:04

Quite understand. Walked out of consultants room in tears when she told me "I don't know what you're doing here - there's nothing I can do for you, so it's just a waste of both of our time"
Refused to see her again

Good luck with the scan - let us know how you get on

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Lcy · 15/08/2007 15:07

I will - thanks

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ejt1764 · 15/08/2007 15:09

Lcy - I had a similar experience to you when I had my 1st mc last year, (unfortunately, I did go on to mc) - but I put in an official complaint about the treatment I had received at the EPU. It made me angry to think that I obviously wasn't the only one who had been reated like that>

I then found, when I had my 2nd mc last year, that when I presented in the EPU, the treatment I had was completely different - my complaint had obviously made a difference.

I am pg again (now at 33 weeks), and when I went for an early scan (at 7 weeks), again I found that the attitude of the staff was completely different ...

Do complain - it's not on that somebody who is supposed to be working in a sensitive area like an EPU obviously has the bedside manner of a cyberman!

I really hope that the scan you have on Saturday has a good outcome - I've had 2 bleeds in this pg, and am fine - and there are quite a few of us on the antenatal threads I usually post on who have had the same thing happen.

Take care.

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EscapeFrom · 15/08/2007 15:09

I had a lot of big brown bleeds, and quite a few bright bloody red ones too. I had two pregnancies, I have two children. It doesn't always mean the end. Fingers crossed for you darling (PS anxiety, while it won't help, has to be bomb droppingly extreme to make much difference IME.)

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ZacharyZoo · 15/08/2007 15:33

Would definitely echo what ejt1764 says, i had a mc 2 years ago, and the treatment at the hospital was awful, was told that Friday was a bad day to mc as there were no staff to scan and i should have waited til Monday! I complained, wrote to the head of Maternity Services and she called me, we talked for well over an hour and she genuinely seemed to want to help. When i was pg the next time, i had pain and bleeding again, but the staff were a million times better and this time all was OK and i went on to have a healthy little boy in Apr 06. FIngers crossed for your scan.

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Lcy · 15/08/2007 15:47

Thanks everyone - its strange because you would think people working in such an emotional area would have some people skills. Although i must admit the nurses were fantastic.

Apparently this doctor had been called to stitch up a women after labour prior to seeing me - hmmm - this is exactly why im booked in for a homebirth with my lovely midwife.

Thanks so much for all your kind words and advice. I will let you know how the scan goes on Saturday.

Lcy

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Lcy · 15/08/2007 17:51

Update: I just got a phone call from the Consultant Gynacologist at the hospital - my midwife had spoken to her. She apologised for my experience and told me that the doctor did break their policies on internal exam testing, advice and ultrasound. Apparently the nurses working on the ward had informed him of this but he wouldnt budge. She told me that he was a locum and wont be employed on the EPU unit again. She has booked me in for a NHS scan tommorow at 2.40pm and although i do have to go up to the EPU again she has promised he wont be there.

Thanks for all your comments - now just have to hope all goes well tommorow

Lucy

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melsy · 15/08/2007 18:11

ahh the lovely locums eh , Ive also experienced nasty treatment at the hands of locums . NOT ON .

Have you at all had your hgc levels checked? They will do a blood test and then do ather 48hrs later. Seeems they should be seeing wether they are increasing or not. They should more than double if the pregnancy is viable and can help to give you information one way or another. If not then its probably due to some internal policy or cost , but if you are anxious and upset and its causing a lot of distress then I would push for it.

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Lcy · 15/08/2007 18:13

Thanks Melsy - i didnt have any blood or urine tested. Will go for the scan tommorow and take it from there.

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Peachy · 15/08/2007 18:19

Glad its all going to get sorted out without a wait dor Saturday (the scan at least)

A locum missed the eclmapsia I had in my first pregnancy, almost killed me and DS1. said I was anxious, even though I'd been transferred in fitting! There's a reason these poeple are locums without regular jobs..... (I bumped into him whilst labouring at another hospital with ds3, I was in the labour ward- he said to MW 'What is THIS woman doing in this room'- she said 'Labouring!', and slammed the foor in his face PMSL)

Fingers crossed scan goes well for you.

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LadyTophamHatt · 15/08/2007 18:19

what a absolute crock of shite!!!

If it was possible for you to see inside my head when I was PG with ds4, anxiety would be a undertstatment.

I was a mess.

Ds4 is 7 months old now

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lemonaid · 15/08/2007 18:30

melsy -- as Lucy is 10 weeks you wouldn't expect her hCG levels to still be doubling every 48 hours. There's a much greater range of "normal" things for hCG to be doing at this stage so it wouldn't necessarily tell much.

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funnypeculiar · 15/08/2007 18:37

excellent news
And well done you for following it up & causing some trouble - hopefully he won't mess up things for anyone else

Fingers crossed for tommorrow afternoon for you

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