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Miscarriage/pregnancy loss

Find support and share your experiences on our Miscarriage forum. See also legal rights and support after baby loss.

Original poster

waiting to see if i miscarry - doctor told me anxiety will expel my baby from my womb!

367 replies

Lcy · 15/08/2007 14:27

Hi

I just need to vent. I am 10 weeks pregnant and had brown bleeding at 5-6 weeks so EPU scanned me and saw a heart beat - bleeding stopped and i felt all was ok.

Yesterday i had a big brown bleed again and incredibly sore lower back pain so went to EPU again this morning. They had a new doctor who asked me to tell him the symptoms. After talking for 10 minutes he asked me whether i could be pregnant!!! I WAS IN THE EARLY PREGNANCY UNIT !!!

He then told me that lower back pain is not a sign of miscarriage and that i should ignore it. He did an internal and i could see that the blood had changed to bright red and i started to get tearful. He told me not to get anxious because anxiety would expel the baby from my womb!

Anyway - he told me i am having another threatened miscarriage but i will just have to wait and see if i miscarry and that i cant have a scan and that i will have to wait 3 weeks for my dating scan because they are busy.

Just feeling really anxious - i am waiting for my midwife to phone me back. I know that they cant stop a miscarriage but i would like to know whether the baby is alive or not.

Vent over - Lucy

OP posts:
Original poster
Lcy · 17/08/2007 21:09

Hi mum to ozzie - sorry i think we crossed posts. My DH was also away when i went for the scan - it has helped enourmously since he has been back. Are you actually still miscarrying at the moment? I think my miscarriage is just starting. It is so hard isnt it? FOr me alot of it is about the hopes, dreams and plans i had for this baby - just feels so terribly sad xx

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mum2ozzie · 17/08/2007 21:20

I am miscarrying at the moment -I'm very achey and there are little clots and lumps. Its really sad. I know exactly how you feel. I had already planned a load of things even though I'd not spoken them with anyone. It seems like another world this evening versus how it was this morning when I woke up.

Original poster
Lcy · 17/08/2007 21:38

Like you i have clots and lumps and period pains this evening - feeling very down about it all - just want to be pregnant again.

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mum2ozzie · 17/08/2007 21:43

Me too. The doctor at the hospital did say to leave it until I was physically and emotionally ready but not sure if getting pregnant again is the best way to feel emotionally better???

Original poster
Lcy · 17/08/2007 21:52

This was my first pregnancy and very stressful because i bled a small amount of brown blood all the way through.

I am worried about getting pregnant again - will i concieve, and if so would i beable to cope emotionally if i started to bleed again. I think i will try again as soon as possible but i think it will be very difficult emotionally whenever i get pregnant again.

I take it you have one child already?

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Renaissancewoman · 17/08/2007 22:01

Lucy
And your human dogem prevention explanation tickled me and my DH. But now I'm sad that the medical types so easily get it wrong. But we wouldn't feel any better had we got our scans immediately with the most careful comments etc and the humour can only help.

A few hours ago I was angry that I wasted hours sitting around various hospital departments today and that if they had scanned me immediately when I presented as they opened up the clinic this morning I would have made the list for surgery today. I now realise there is no rush and I need a while to get my head round this, adjust and maybe even give my body a chance to do this without troubling the medics. To be fair to them when friends have told me that they've had miscarriages, I've never known what to say so it's good to know that years of med school and specialist training makes no difference, it's funny that speaking to strangers through Mumsnet does make a difference.

Thanks

whoops · 17/08/2007 22:02

{Hugs} Lcy,

The pregnancy I miscarried was the only one I had no bleeding.
Pregnancy is difficult and emotional anyway, I was worse carrying dd because ds was brn at 33 weeks and I saw several people that had pre-eclampsia so worried everytime I felt rough etc and called the midwife!
Make sure you get some rest & sleep and take some time out for you x

Original poster
Lcy · 17/08/2007 22:08

Thanks Whoops x

Renaissancewoman - i was really annoyed that they wouldnt do the D&C today - but just been speaking to DH and we both think that it has given us a bit of time together to really grieve for the loss. Hope you are ok - im drinking wine and eating green and blacks - i must say it helps x

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marthamoo · 17/08/2007 22:16

Hey Lcy, been thinking about you today. I'm glad MN is helping a bit It's true that, even though miscarriage is so common, it still seems a taboo subject - yet when you do tell people, you find so many women who have gone through it too.

When I had the scan to confirm my miscarriage a mw said to me (I'm sure she thought she was being helpful) - "you know, 20 years ago, you wouldn't even have known you were pregnant. You would just have thought you were having a late period."

Mmmm...but it wasn't twenty years ago, and I did know and I had all sorts of hopes and dreams for that baby, even though I had only known for a few weeks.

Renaissancewoman · 17/08/2007 22:20

I'm doing OK. I'm on camomile tea and still eating for 2 (cake) - I intend to keep that up for as long as I need the comfort, maybe I'll do a bake-a-thon over the weekend.

whoops · 17/08/2007 22:23

Lcy I had to wait a couple of days to have my D & C I wish I could have had it sooner although I had had a couple of weeks to come to terms with things as I had had one scan then needed a second a couple of weeks later to confirm it.

Original poster
Lcy · 17/08/2007 22:27

Sorry about your miscarrige marthamoo - thanks for thinking of me. I have just looked over this thread and can see that i am already moving on from the hysterical stage i was feeling in the middle of the night (although likely to come back at some point). Talking to people on mumsnet has helped more than anything else - esp as you can do it when crying!

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Original poster
Lcy · 17/08/2007 22:29

Hi Whoops - i cross posted - i guess with the D&C its been good to have some time - but i dont really want to start miscarrying naturally and then have a D&C - one or the other please

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whoops · 17/08/2007 22:29

I found mn helped too, I know what you mean by the gysterical crying stage I can remember crying non stop for the day I had the first scan, Hadn't expected it at all and was gutted.
Keep talking to people I think I shut it out a bit too quickly and am suffering now

whoops · 17/08/2007 22:32

I really didn't want to miscarry naturally and wanted the d&c. by the time I went in for it I was starting to bleed a little heavier. hte d & c wasn't as bad as i thought either - other than the daughter of and elderly patient on the ward coming into the waiting area early in the morning telling people to cheer up as it wasn't that bad! I think I Was the only one in for a d&c though going by the age of the rest of them!

Original poster
Lcy · 17/08/2007 22:34

Ok whoops will you tell me about the D&C - i have to go in at 8 (having not eaten or drank since midnight). Do you have to wear a hospital gown? Can you keep underware on?

OP posts:
Original poster
Lcy · 17/08/2007 22:37

Although i have incredibly supportive friends in real life i dont think you can possibly understand the ache of losing a baby unless you have - this is where mums net is so good. In addition hearing such positive stories about other people going to concieve after mc has helped lift me from the gloom.I probably wouldnt tell real life friends how much of a failure i felt xxx

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whoops · 17/08/2007 22:43

Yes you do have to wear a hospital gown, I waited til the last minute to take my knickers off as I was bleeding a little by then.
The surgeon came to see me and explain the procedure and for me to sign the consent forms. I was first on the list (I think!) I was taken to have a canular (sp?) and after that I don't remember anything until coming round in recovery. I was told the op took about 15 mins. I had a little bit of pain when I came round which felt like bad period pain but that went after about 10 mins of me coming round.
I was told to sleep for a while (not easy when you have nurses talking at the end of your bed!) I was then given tea and toast and by lunchtime I was told I could get dressed and go home.
I had 2 days off work and the weekend and didn't feel as groggy as I thought I would
Hope this helps x if there is any thing else you want to ask I don't mind or you can email me on whoops1 at hotmail dot co dot uk

Original poster
Lcy · 17/08/2007 22:49

Thanks - im a bit scared about the op useful to know a bit about what happens before and after. I may email you if i think of anything else - thanks xx

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Original poster
Lcy · 17/08/2007 22:51

Ok going to bed - my best friend is arriving tommorow to come and support me and DH - such a star she lives 6 hrs away. Sleep well everyone - i am hoping i wont have such a tearful night tonight xx

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whoops · 17/08/2007 22:52

Hope you sleep well,
Glad you have your friend coming to support you x

pipsqueeke · 18/08/2007 08:04

how are you feeling today lcy? hope you maanged to get some rest. be good to yourself.

(I also am still eating for comfort - v bad once consumed a whole cake more or less to my slef ) so do and act whatever feels natural. glad your DH and friend are there to support you.

TJuice · 18/08/2007 08:31

i had my D&C yesterday afternoon after seeing no heartbeat on a scan yesterday morning.
it went very quickly and the whole day was extremely surreal . . .

best of luck with your operation lcy,- i am sure it will go very smoothly.

hugs

Original poster
Lcy · 18/08/2007 09:41

Hi TJuice and Pipsqueeke

Im ok - had a really good sleep but woke up feeling very low. I just wish i could get the operation over with. My emotions are crazy at the moment - one minute optimistic the next feeling like life is terrible (poor DH). I'm guessing its the pregnancy hormones as well as the grief!

How are you both today?

Lcy x

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Original poster
Lcy · 18/08/2007 09:53

How are you doing today mum2ozzie?

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