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Miscarriage/pregnancy loss

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Original poster

waiting to see if i miscarry - doctor told me anxiety will expel my baby from my womb!

367 replies

Lcy · 15/08/2007 14:27

Hi

I just need to vent. I am 10 weeks pregnant and had brown bleeding at 5-6 weeks so EPU scanned me and saw a heart beat - bleeding stopped and i felt all was ok.

Yesterday i had a big brown bleed again and incredibly sore lower back pain so went to EPU again this morning. They had a new doctor who asked me to tell him the symptoms. After talking for 10 minutes he asked me whether i could be pregnant!!! I WAS IN THE EARLY PREGNANCY UNIT !!!

He then told me that lower back pain is not a sign of miscarriage and that i should ignore it. He did an internal and i could see that the blood had changed to bright red and i started to get tearful. He told me not to get anxious because anxiety would expel the baby from my womb!

Anyway - he told me i am having another threatened miscarriage but i will just have to wait and see if i miscarry and that i cant have a scan and that i will have to wait 3 weeks for my dating scan because they are busy.

Just feeling really anxious - i am waiting for my midwife to phone me back. I know that they cant stop a miscarriage but i would like to know whether the baby is alive or not.

Vent over - Lucy

OP posts:
fawkeoff · 15/08/2007 18:40

i hope everything is fine for u x just put ur feet up and rest hun x x x

melsy · 15/08/2007 18:42

ahh ok sorry , posted with dd2 at my feet , just wanted to help, should have read that bit !

StrangeTown · 15/08/2007 18:51

Well done for following this through Lcy, best wishes for your scan tomorrow. Will be thinking of you.
The lack of care and empathy in these situations infuriates me. I have changed hospitals because of this. Why do they make things so hard?

bumperlicious · 15/08/2007 20:31

Hi you - it's me! Just want to reiterate my order to put your feet up and take it easy! Make sure you spend the money you were going to spend on the scan on something lovely!

Bastard doctor! Hope tomorrow goes well, thinking of you xxx

Original poster
Lcy · 15/08/2007 20:55

Thanks bumper - i have stopped crying now but now have puffy eyes - great look! Will text you after scan xxx

OP posts:
EveMumtoMadelyn · 15/08/2007 22:27

OMG! that is terrible what an idiot!

It's impossible not to worry especially if u have suffered previous losses. I have had 4 mc and being PAL for the 5th time was the most terrifying 9 momths of my life.
I hope everything is ok, good luck with your scan.

Eve
www.lifeafterloss.org.uk/forum

Original poster
Lcy · 16/08/2007 18:40

Hi all - thanks for all your support yesterday. I went for a scan today and baby has died. I am starting to bleed but they have booked me in for a D&C on Monday because my cervix is closed.

I am devestated and totally in shock. After care at hospital was crap and was left in a room for ages without any information. Cant get my head around the fact that i wont be having a baby in March and that i was one week off finishing my 1st trimester and it all went so wrong.

Just waiting for husband to come home. Any advice much appreciated.

LUCY

OP posts:
whoops · 16/08/2007 18:46

{{{HUGS}}}
Sorry to hear this.
I had a miscarriage in March and my baby would have been due in October. I didn't take much time off when I lost mine just the day I found out the following day, the day of the follow up scan and then the 2 days when I had the d & c. I wish I had taken more and had more time to come to terms with it.
Give yourself time and look after yourself
x

EscapeFrom · 16/08/2007 18:48

Oh Lcy I am so sorry. I hope your husband is home to be with you soon..

Original poster
Lcy · 16/08/2007 18:53

Thanks - i dont have any friends who are pregnant never mind had a miscarriage so feel really alone. Worried about what i am going to see each time i go to the loo

OP posts:
lissie · 16/08/2007 19:06

Lcy, im so so sorry. you were treated appallingly and i wish that your story could have been different. here if you need to talk x

Original poster
Lcy · 16/08/2007 19:34

Thanks Lissie - how are you doing now?

OP posts:
BellaBear · 16/08/2007 19:43

I'm so sorry for you. The bit of advice I would like to second is to take some time out - I didn't and really regretted it. Look after yourself.

melsy · 16/08/2007 20:25

Im really sorry to hear your news , and sorry it had to come after the treatment you had. ((((((((((((((((Lcy)))))))))))).

morningpaper · 16/08/2007 20:37

So sorry Lucy for you and your husband xxx

Original poster
Lcy · 16/08/2007 21:02

Thanks so much xxx

OP posts:
DANCESwithDumbledore · 16/08/2007 21:06

So sorry Lucy and also to hear that you had such poor care . Listen to these ladies and take some time to allow yourself to grieve. Take care.

marthamoo · 16/08/2007 21:15

Have only just read this, Lcy - I'm so very sorry. The treatment you received from the locum was appalling and I'm glad he won't be employed on the EPU again.

I miscarried my second pregnancy (though I didn't have a D&C so can't offer any advice on that) - it is heartbreaking and you must allow yourself time to grieve for the baby you were supposed to have in March. You will find the world to be full of pregnant women for a while - every news-reader and shop assistant I saw in the weeks after my miscarriage seemed to be pregnant. It's hard - but you're allowed to cry and you're allowed to feel sad and angry and cheated. And in time...(such a cliche I know) it does get easier. Take care x

Original poster
Lcy · 16/08/2007 21:23

Thanks Marthamoo - thats exactly how i do feel sad, angry and cheated. I am going to take some sick leave and annual leave so will have 2 weeks off - DH is doing a PhD so he will have some time off with me as well.

Just want it out of me - dont like the thought of a dead baby in my womb - especially as we saw the bub alive and heartbeating at 6 weeks - its all so distressing.

Thanks for the advice everyone it really helps

OP posts:
kindersurprise · 16/08/2007 21:54

Hi Lcy, I am really sorry to hear what you are going through.

You are doing the right thing, taking time off. Take the time to grieve. It is not just the loss of the baby, it is also the big changes in your life that you were gearing up for.

As to the D&C, the actual op is not bad (physicaly). I don't know if they give you a sedative beforehand, I found this made it easier to bear. (I am in Germany and I have noticed they do things differently here.) I found the op distressing obviously, but for me it was better than waiting for things to take their natural course. It was not especially painful afterwards, more like period pains.

If there is anything you want to know, just ask. And let your DH take care of you this weekend.

munchkinmum · 16/08/2007 22:04

Lucy just read the whole thread. So sorry to hear your sad news.

Will be thinking of you over next few days that al will no doubt be difficult with all that has happened.

Munch
xxx

Original poster
Lcy · 17/08/2007 03:44

Thanks for your messages - i cant sleep, i think the shock has warn off and i just cant stop crying now. Decided to come downstairs so i can let my husband sleep for a bit. Its so hard for him because its his wife and his baby. Everywhere i look i have pregnancy stuff (all the books, info from midwife). I was so looking forward to having the baby

OP posts:
bumperlicious · 17/08/2007 05:00

You still up?

bumperlicious · 17/08/2007 05:07

I'm going back to bed but call me anytime. Call on the home phone as I keep my mobile on silent. Thinking of you lots, DH sends huge love too xxxxxxxxxx

Upsidedowncake · 17/08/2007 06:25

Oh Lcy. I am so so sorry. What a horrible, horrible week.

I hope you managed to get some sleep.

Over the past few days since my ectopic, I have been going up and down. The two best pieces of advice I was given were to take some time, and not to be alone. There's so much to adjust to.

Thinking of you. (Hugs)