First Pregnancy Missed Miscarriage (Part 4)

[Kiki061190]

Hi ladies!

Our previous thread is now full so I’ve made a new one 😘

Thanks guys. I recently read an article that said that modern stats show that the reduction in fertility at this age isn't anywhere near as severe as they once thought. I think its just that when I got my head around the idea of trying for a baby, I never thought I would only have one. I want to be one of the gang celebrating (albeit hesitantly). I don't know why it isn't happening and it feels out of my control.

@MrsMGE I think I'm going to do the same and take the day off to go horse riding followed by Thai food. Two things I love but never seem to do.

@bananamonkey thanks. She just kept being sick and wouldn't eat or drink so we were worried she had an obstruction. Thankfully she is now keeping food down but I am cleaning up lots of diarrhoea and have had to re-arrange my week to be at home because I can't take a sick dog to day care. Good practice for kids right?!?!

Re DH - he doesn't drink much so I would never normally have a problem with it. Its just sod's law really and mainly a miscommunication (but yes I had told him that we needed to have sex)

Its very unlike him and he has been dealing with redundancies at work so I can understand it. He just didn't think because obviously I am responsible for everything....

@sadtoday21 @bananamonkey Since confirmation of ovulation, I can't really be bothered to track anything this month, BBT just disrupts my sleep.

Although I am 98% sure nothing is happening this month, the stories of you two catching when you did in relation to ovulation is still a big positive so who knows. I am going to just carry on and do my best to not think about it and wait for y GP appointment on Monday.

"I am responsible for everything" - @zoomies1 story of my life, too! I literally do not know sometimes how DH went for 20-odd years before we met and survived 😂 Don't get me wrong, I love him to bits, but he's so disorganised and just can't plan anything ahead!

@SunStruck I am still drinking whilst TTC, including the TWW. I don't drink during the week, but love a cheeky G&T on a Saturday 🍸🙌

@Kiki061190 5 weeks already! Exciting! It seems to be going fast, doesn't it? Xxx

@MrsMGE time has been going quickly so far! I’m hoping it keeps up!! How have you been?

@Kiki061190 Not too bad, thanks. Going out for some Italian with my friend on Friday night, really looking forward to it! My gym buddy is also dragging me back to the gym, I think I will also go later on this week after my cystitis clears, I don't think I can go with this 😳😅

How are you feeling? Xxx

@SunStruck I'm still drinking too. As long as I'm not overdoing it, its a small pleasure. I try to keep it to weekends but not always successful....

@kiki061190 Its nice to hear about everyone's progress. From this side of the fence, time is flying. FX for positive scans for everyone.

@MrsMGE I’m feeling normal apart from tiredness really. Yummmmm Italian! I have a dinner party at my friends on Saturday and she is cooking Italian, can’t wait! Is the cystitis any better?

@zoomies1 time does seem to be passing quicker this time. I hope it stays that way! I won’t be due for a scan until early October if I make it to then successfully!

@Kiki061190 Yeah, it's better thanks 😊 Ah, I love a dinner party, can't go wrong with Italian food either!

Girls, which pregnancy tests do you use? I'm a bit fed up with spending a fortune on Clearblue. I'm thinking about stocking up for next month, any recommendations? Xxx

@MrsMGE I bought those one step pregnancy tests from amazon. I think I got 20 for £5. They’re not the most sensitive but I had a cheeky FRER lying about so I used that first and the one step once I was due my AF!

@Kiki061190 Are those FRER ones available on Amazon?

I used to be a Clearblue snob, and took several Asda own brand ones in my first pregnancy too. Are the FRER and One Stop ones reliable? I've read mixed comments, including some people saying those from Amazon are counterfeit and that some of them already have a faint line, resulting in false positive results?

Are these people just a little bit less switched on and unable to use them, or have any of you had any real issues with them?

@MrsMGE I’ve heard mixed things about faulty FRERs on Amazon but I’ve never bought any from there. I would only use one step for testing after AF is due as they aren’t the most sensitive but they do the job if you’re just looking to have tests handy!

I think I'll get them, where would you recommend buying them from @Kiki061190?

@MrsMGE I’ve got on ok with the Onestep ones, I’ve always had a stock of those because they’re so cheap you can do a tonne of tests without worrying and then used expensive ones to confirm the result like a CB digital. The Poundland ones have been pretty good too. I’ve always managed to get faint lines on the Onestep before AF is due and never had a false.

I also bought some FRER ones from Amazon yesterday. Dread to think how much I’ve spent over the last 4 years 🙈

@zoomies1I read something about fertility rates being better over 35 than research suggests as they’ve been using old data. What I find alarming is the miscarriage rates. Some studies show a 50% rate of loss after 40. Tommy’s quote a 38% loss rate which obviously is better but I had no idea mc was that much more common at 40. I thought mid to late 40s was when it became more common. The thing is I look and feel much younger. It feels so right to be having my first child now yet I’m quite alarmed at the statistics. I guess everyone is different and plenty of younger ladies experience pregnancy loss. All my test results came back normal so no evidence I’m peri menopausal so my eggs are probably still ok. I just wish we all had longer to start our family! Xx

@zoomies1 good for you. I think you’re wise to enjoy yourself while trying. It can just suck the life out of you if not. Xx

@MrsMGE I used one step this time. Got a clear positive at 10dpo so pretty amazed as they’re not as sensitive. I confirmed with FRER. I’m not sure how there could be dodgy versions of them as they are branded. I’ve always got an accurate result. Guess there could be fake ones. Xx

@bananamonkey I know right!? It’s even added up over the short time we’ve tried. The Ovusense subscription I think was worth it but they got my O day three days out during my last cycle so not as accurate as they claim. It’s the FRERs I’ve probably spent the most money on. Xx

From what I read, the risk of MC increases after 35, although very slightly, then after 37, and more significantly after 40. There's also a gradual increase in the risk of Down syndrome etc., which I'm sure we've all read about. But, statistics are only statistics, we have to believe we'll all be in the positive group with no issues, and I really hope we will be ❤️ xxx

@Catconfusion @Kiki061190 @bananamonkey Thanks for your recommendations girls. I've ordered some from Amazon, think I'll buy some more expensive ones as well, just in case, to confirm a positive in due course.

Now... I have finished my antibiotics and cystitis seems to have cleared, but I'm still peeing a lot. Is this even possible that this could be a pregnancy symptom before AF due date? I'm fighting off the urge to try these tests this month, especially now, before AF. I'm paranoid that my hormones are still messed up after the MMC or that I'd get a chemical and be very upset after. Do I test, do I wait, do I not test at all?

@MrsMGE but 50% is high risk as far as I’m concerned. I knew about DS which at 1 in 100 seems pretty low risk. What annoys me most is the midwife during the first pregnancy wouldn’t even talk about mc and said I was low risk. I was 39 and a half then. Age was not mentioned at all as a risk factor. Now I am actually 40 suddenly I’ve been put on aspirin and everyone seems much more cautious. Like you say the risks steadily increase from 38. It’s not as if on your 40th birthday overnight there’s a much bigger risk. I’m trying not to dwell too much on stats as no evidence we have any age related problems. I also fell pregnant very easily despite having pcos so I figure my fertility must be pretty good. It’s such an individual thing as well. My poor friend got diagnosed with low ovarian reserve at 34 and she’s now menopausal at 38. Even if she could fall pregnant her chances of mc are very high. I am very grateful despite the pain of our two losses we’re in this position. Just hopeful it all works out! Xx

@Catconfusion I never understand why they seem to be so adamant to follow the guidelines only if someone actually is 40 or older, like you said, if you are few months off 40, the risk is very likely exactly the same, so why not run your pregnancy the same way? Another woman born in the same year would have different support, and also, you may have still been pregnant actually at 40? This is just bonkers to me, common sense should clearly prevail. Xx

@MrsMGE I always have such a weak bladder I can’t comment on needing to wee a lot! When is AF due? Maybe test a day before? That way you know what to expect sort of thing. Totally agree that the one steps are just good to have about to test without spending a fortune!

@Catconfusion Those are high rates but I do think it can sometimes come down to the individual. You feel healthy and that’s the main thing! Not long until your scan now ♥️

It’s bonkers @MrsMGE but we’ve noticed such a difference in how we’re being spoken to about our pregnancy this time round with only 6 months difference in time. It seems like we’re getting so much more support. The midwife wasn’t great though. Said no point in seeing us until we’re further along, the implication being we might mc anyway and she didn’t want to waste her time. My gp is amazing though. She’s ringing me weekly to see how I am and get me referred for scans and consultant led treatment when the time comes.

I’ve just found another study that found mc rate at 40 to only be 24% so there is so much inconsistency. 43/44 seems the point at which things get tricky. Although a friend of mine fell pregnant first time she tried at 43 and it was fine. Xx

@Kiki061190 exactly. So many women in their 20s go through pregnancy loss. I do think some of the figures available are a bit alarmist. Even the nhs website seems a bit damming of ladies having babies post 35. Xx

@Kiki061190 Due in anything between 2 and 7 days' time, depending on how long this cycle is. In hindsight, I'm having slight regrets I wasn't tracking O 😔 I'm probably panicking for no reason, I don't think I am pg because it seems we may have lost the precious few days of the fertile window, but I can't be 100% certain and with all those "symptoms", things started playing on my mind a bit. Xxx

@Catconfusion I wouldn't be surprised if there weren't that many recent studies on younger women in their early to mid 20s. The doctors seem to have a rather dismissive attitude towards younger women - you've lost, oh, don't worry, you still have plentyyyy of time, move on, next please. The assumption is it will work out for them naturally one day, and no need to run checks or research, as ultimately they will conceive. Which might be true in most cases, but I don't think there's a full picture of MC statistics. There are also so many women, particularly young women, who miscarry unknowingly or they don't want to go to hospital to disclose this. Whereas obviously women in their later 30s and early 40s are usually monitored more closely and we have more accurate data. I think if we knew the full figures, the statistics would be different. Xx

@MrsMGE If it makes you feel any better I had no symptoms and I still have none!

@Catconfusion It’s concerning that they don’t treat all loss the same! I want to have 3 children and I’m 29 in a few months so realistically I’ll be attempting to conceive over 35 at one point, maybe even closer to 40. Everyone should be the same!