First Pregnancy Missed Miscarriage (Part 4)

[Kiki061190]

Hi ladies!

Our previous thread is now full so I’ve made a new one 😘

Thank you @MrsMGE @SunStruck. I really just don’t know if they don’t think before they say things or if it’s just such a day to day thing for them they forget what a shock and heartbreak it is for us as individuals.

Was impressed that my GP called to check on me yesterday afternoon as he’d got the report from the EPU however his recommendation was to wait 3 months before TTC again. I completely get waiting until after my first period after the miscarriage but 3 months just feels like such a long time especially when the last 2 months has gone so slowly whilst waiting for that 12 week everything is ok scan that didn’t arrive.

How long did you wait before TTC again? xx

@ELM7 I'm so sorry to hear you've dealt with insensitivity. People just don't think.

Your GP sounds amazing for ringing up. My GP initially said try again straight away but after the second loss said three months. This upset me as like you we were keen to get on and try again. What I will say is there is no particular danger in trying again but if your body isn't ready you may have a chemical pregnancy. These very early losses aren't very pleasant but they are usually over very quickly. That being said my hormones went a bit wacky after the two back to back losses so it was like my body was stopping me conceiving again. It took 4 months in the end after the second loss. I also got quite a lot of pain after I ovulated for a few cycles which I presume was the lining recovering. It felt like a bruising sensation.

I would definitely leave it at least one cycle. If you can wait a few cycles it properly would increase your chances and give your body time to heal. It is absolutely unfair you're in this position. Of course some ladies do just fall pregnant quickly and it's fine but as I said before the doctor at the hospital told me chemical pregnancies are more likely. Good luck and I hope your recovery is quick! Xx

@ELM7 i had an appointment at the EPU today and they said can try again after 1 natural cycle

We had our 2nd scan (1st nhs scan) today and there has been no progression. Have to wait for the another scan to confirm on 1 week as the nhs cant takr the private scams findings for insurance purposes so this is my first scan in their eyes.

Hi guys, just need some advice. Has anyone or do you know anyone who has experienced this. Found out I’m pregnant this week which was a complete surprise Cos I was still taking my contraceptive pill. Going through my dates I’ve worked out that I could be about 8 weeks pregnant. But I’m not 100% sure. Been for an early pregnancy scan today ultrasound and internal as I have been spotting. They have told me that I’m showing 5-6 weeks and there’s no heart beat. They want me to come back for another scan in a week to check if there’s change. They have told me it be that o could go onto have a healthy pregnancy and I may have my dates wrong. Which I hope is the case. But I’m thinking that I lost the pregnancy 3 weeks and at 5-6 weeks is when it stopped growing

@Bexrj this is currenrly happening to me at the moment. I had my 2nd scan today and not good news for me unfortunately!

It might be harder for you to track dates given that you have been on concontraception so it might just be too early. Fingers crossed for you!

I’m so sorry for you. Sending you hugs. I’ll keep you posted what happens in my 2nd scan. It’s the not knowing that’s killing me atm I can’t think straight

@MrsMGE How are you? what cycle day are you on now? Have you been keeping up the Ella Balls?

@SunStruck Have you had a BFN yet? How have you been feeling?

Wanted to let you ladies know we had a gender scan tonight and we are having a girl! Couldn’t be more delighted with her. Can’t wait to have a partner in crime ♥️

Awww @Kiki061190 that's amazing!!! I knew it's a girl, I was 100% sure! Hello, Baby Kiki! Girl power 💪🦸‍♀️

Mixed bag for me, I have better and worse moments, doing a lot of meditation these days, DH is looking after my exercising routines too. We're keeping busy which probably helps with not thinking too much. I'm still not great deep inside and don't think this will ever go away until I hold my healthy baby, but this also means I somehow have to live with it for now. So I'm trying. I got a tad upset today because I've realised my best friend didn't once message me when I was pg between the time I told her and my MC (around 3 weeks). I don't know what she was expecting now that she's pg and I'm grieving. She was blatantly jealous when I was pg which I can see now. Whereas me, I'm jealous too, but primarily devastated out children won't be brought up together because mine is dead. That's much harder than silly little jealousy. So that's annoyed me because how dare she have an expectation now that I'm going to be there for her? And why was I even beating myself up over struggling with her announcement and worrying about seeing her, seriously. I need to get a grip and be healthily selfish from now on. Anyway. I have been making the balls, yes, I'm mastering them 😂

How have you been, how is work on the house?

@SunStruck are you OK lovely? When are you off to Kuala Lumpur?

@Catconfusion Hope your hips are OK lovely. How have you been? Xxx

@MrsMGE The situation with your friend is so hard! You are a rockstar for dealing with it. Since my MC everyone has been so supportive and you truly see who your real friends are during difficult times. Your own health and mental health is the most important thing and it’s not selfish to put yourself first. You should! Sounds like you have yourself in a super healthy regime. Love the Ella balls! I’ve been snacking on the bounce ball salted caramel ones and they are lush. Thankfully I’ve put on only a tiny amount of weight on my tummy. I’m still in my jeans. Thank you for the comment about baby girl, I’m delighted and can’t wait to get to know her. This is the first time I’ve allowed myself to get excited. I’ve been so reserved up until now but I’m so happy she seems healthy. It’s so hard after a MMC to be sure.

@Kiki061190 She's going to be your best friend ❤️ I hope one day we'll have a baby girl too. I don't mind at all, but tbh I think we've lost a girl and I just would love to have a daughter. I'm sure the bond you'll have with her will be so special ❤️ That's just lovely. You're so lucky you're still in your jeans, great stuff, and most of it probably down to you keeping healthy! Well done. What are those bounce caramel balls, they sound fabulous? Xxx

@Kiki061190 oh I'm so happy for you girl!!! I'm excited for you. And sounds fab you've just put on a little, can have a few extra donuts later on in pregnancy haha! Such a relief all is well ❤️

@MrsMGE sorry haven't been here for a while, I've tried to put TTC a bit on the backburner as I know how long it takes for me to ovulate, but happy to report I got a negative test this weekend and a blinking smiley today! I am going to KL tomorrow eve so hopefully I get a static by the time I am away. Always more fun to dtd in hotel rooms right 🤣😉

So you are completely correct with your long comment about sexism and how is ladies getting treated sometimes at work.I also like nice things (I'm paying for myself), and I also get comments. I've really taken your comment to heart and I had a long meeting with my manager yesterday, a lot of tough (but true) words were said by me and he did agree on a promotion for me this year 🥳 They're scared to lose me, didn't think I'd ever look elsewhere. I beg to differ! Next will be the salary talk, hopefully today. I'm hellbent on a good raise to go with the promotion! We also had it out in regards to reporting lines (he wants me to report to a more junior male in the office to ease up workload for him, although my promotion means I'm the same level - not a chance). You've really inspired me, thanks for that 😊 you're a strong woman!

It feels really good putting my energy on this, I feel more accomplished as a result. This is something I can control, TTC is not (even though I'm trying!). I think we just need a positive distraction from TTC, life goes on while trying!

How are you? I'm sorry to hear about your unsupportive friend, how dare she after you've had that big talk and you showing support although difficult! You need to not let her take your positive energy and focus elsewhere. Hugs from afar 🤗

Well done @SunStruck! You go girl! I've learned that if we don't ask, we don't get, and actually there's nothing wrong with being confident or assertive. It's 2019, time to get rid of the imposter syndrome and educate others who need it not to take us for granted professionally. So we'll done you! And yes, it is good to focus on this rather than TTC.

I got through to round 2 of the promotion process, I'll have an interview this month and we shall see. Not particularly worried as I'm usually a strong interviewee, so whilst I won't brag that I have it in the bag until it's sealed, I feel pretty confident. However! In my profession money doesn't follow a promotion so this is going to be something my boss will have to plead about separately with the CEO. He did say he'll support me and he knows how much I want, but the CEO is known for being tight. Plus also, interestingly, they still haven't paid me my bonus which they should have, because I was just below my target and if it wasn't for my time off due to the MMC, I would have been above it. Legally, they have to disregard any period of absence due to pregnancy. So I'm waiting for the promotion, waiting for the decision re the raise and then all hell will break lose re the bonus, I am not going to let this go. That's a law firm as well, you'd think they'd know the rules...again, if you don't ask, you don't get and I certainly will!

I also had an approach from a direct competitor this week and I am actually thinking about it, some pros, some cons, waiting for more details atm. It does look interesting and there's a big part of me that thinks about not holding back and just going for it. But overall, I do feel I am in a good firm and I guess the decision will be based on what happens with my promotion/salary/bonus.

It's all going on! Xxx

@MrsMGE thank you! Wow sounds great with the promotion and the competitor - They need to know what they can potentially lose out on! So funny, a recruiter contacted me yesterday for a role and I'm going to speak to her today. I'm realizing we never know when this baby thing is going to happen, so let's live like we're not TTC. I feel happier and more fulfilled now when stuff is going on outside of TTC to focus on, so I'm going to continue that.

Flying tonight! 🥳 Got a business upgrade and am going to enjoy a few glasses of bubbly for sure, I can't wait!

That is terrible about your bonus!!!! I'd be so angry. Completely out of order. Surely they cannot do that according to law in the UK?! Do you think this will be sorted in the next few weeks or months?

Woke up to another flashing smiley, hopefully it's not going to be 9 smileys until solid like last time around! I'm not with DH yet and won't see him until tomorrow, so hopefully timing is good 😉

@SunStruck I agree, focusing on something else is very helpful. I'm glad you're feeling better thanks to this too, and of course, speak to the recruiter! It's always worth exploring the options available.

Oh I am definitely going to address the bonus issue, straight after my promotion is approved. And then I might leave, if I like what I see in the other firm more 😉

Have a fabulous time in KL! Don't think about ovulation, just enjoy yourself xxx

@SunStruck @MrsMGE So proud of both of you for pushing for promotions. You are both an inspiration ♥️

Also hope timing is good for you @Sunstruck and you get a confirmed O!

It’s my birthday today ladies, heading into my last year of my twenties and it’s all starting to feel real now we know the gender. I actually bought my first ever bits for princess today ♥️ Funnily enough none of it is pink! I’m wanting this 20 week scan out the way now so I can finally relax.

Happy birthday @Kiki061190 ❤️ It looks like the final year of your 20s will be a very happy one for you ❤️ Enjoy your special evening tonight xxx

Hey ladies - sorry for the absence, my trip was great and I've just got back to a very busy work week! I've been trying to take a step back too and not be so obsessed 🤣 so I had 10 days of flashing smileys and gave up after that, but when I started temping after my holiday I realized I've ovulated! So it looks like I've ovulated in the middle of my holiday, and we did dtd 😏😏 so I'm 7 or 8 DPO at the moment.

I ate and drank what I wanted during the holiday and was absolutely relaxed!!!!

How are you girls getting on?

Happy birthday @Kiki061190 !!! 🥰🥰🥰 your biggest present will be with you in a few months 😉

OMG @SunStruck 7/8dpo already! You’ll know in under a week the outcome. Crossing my fingers for you. You seem in such a positive mental state and I love that! Thanks for the bday wishes, I’ve been so busy and the exact same all the way up to Xmas which is helping pass the time 😏 18 and a half weeks now.

@MrsMGE Did you go for your promo? How have you been getting on? Have you still been ttc this month?

@Kiki061190 Hi, yes, I did. I have an interview end of this month and should have the results by mid-Dec. Glad you're doing well ❤️ xxx

@MrsMGE How have you been keeping? Have you been feeling any better? That’s amazing you have an interview! Girl power!

@Kiki061190 Better, thank you for asking. I've started meditating regularly and it has really helped me. I've also prioritised living well, DH and I exercise together, we prep our healthy meals for the entire week, we get things done during the week so we have weekends to relax and do something nice together. Slowly I'm getting more sociable, even seeing one of my friends who is due soon later this month. I'm not 100%, but I'm keeping myself in check and doing my best, and that's enough.

I took this month off TTC. I think we'll try again next month, but I won't be tracking or temping. I roughly know now when I ovulate, my luteal phase luckily is longer now too, so I'll just enjoy dtd around Christmas. Spoke to my GP and she said to come back in March if nothing happens before (this will be our 12 months of TTC). That's a relief cause I was worried the MMC restarted the clock and we'd have to wait till June next year to be seen if needed.

My GP, my acupuncturist and all our friends are convinced I'm totally fine and will get pg soon no problem. I'm not sure obviously, but it's kind of reassuring everyone around me has a lot of faith.

How have you been? How did you celebrate your birthday? Is the renovation finished now? Xxx

Oooh meditation is just fabulous! Especially for mental health. Meal prepping and staying healthy is so great, I’ve been prepping recently as well girl and keeping my diet as healthy as possible. It’s coming up to that time of year though when we have a lot of social gatherings so lots of dinners out coming up!

I think taking a month off TTC can be great for clearing the mind. It’s great your GP is being supportive as well! I think that BFP will come before then as well 😘 I can not wait for the day!!! 💓

Aww I have been actually so busy gal, I’ve also been so so tired. Asleep every night for 9! The driveway is done and they steps in the garden are beautiful. We are delighted! We have a few little bits we want to look at the first quarter of next year. Apart from that I’ve started Christmas shopping. I love Christmas and I’m guilty for going overboard but I’ve said this year I’m doing one present to everyone and OH and I are also doing one gift to one another. Have you started getting organised for Xmas?

Also @MrsMGE I just wanted a quiet birthday. I worked that day and then OH took me for a meal. It was a fab day. Work left a cake on my desk for me arriving which was sweet!

Hi lovely people

So thankful for this thread. I found out I was pregnant on 21/09/19 but yesterday I had some heavy bleeding. Went to the hospital today with DP to confirm on the scan no heartbeat. We are heartbroken.

I think I will opt for surgical management to ensure a quick dealing with it. Just want to close my eyes, go to sleep and wake up a month from now when it's all over.

I am 29 (30 on 05/12) with Christmas on the horizon too but I just feel so hopeless. Can't wait for a second chance at being a Mum, even though I know its sensible to wait a bit.

Just very sad tonight.