First Pregnancy Missed Miscarriage (Part 4)

[Kiki061190]

Hi ladies!

Our previous thread is now full so I’ve made a new one 😘

@Catconfusion I’m ok! Agree that the pace is nice. I just don’t feel any symptoms so I’m like is there anything going on in there?

Thanks @Catconfusion I’m annoying myself! I caved and bought some early response tests just now, line is there but still faint, still only 12 dpo so not sure what it’s meant to be like at this point. I’m definitely having lots of mild symptoms (crazy dreams, unsettled sleep, tingly boobs and disrupted digestion).

Sorry you’re feeling crappy, hope the gp can help. It’s great that you’ve not got to worry about work.

How are you @MrsMGE?

Sounds like you’re in a good place @SunStruck

Thanks for carrying on in the thread @Kiki061190 I love your positivity!

Hi girls! @Catconfusion @bananamonkey Thank you for asking after me. A huge relief after the antibiotics, I'm on a three-day course, it's day two and there's a big improvement. Hopefully it will clear after tomorrow. Also things are progressing Re funeral arrangements so I guess we will have a sense of closure soon. I am strangely prepared for it, and calmer, following losing my baby. Don't get me wrong, I still cry every day, but I almost feel like I can carry all this grief.

Also, I am going to say something controversial, sorry if I upset anyone... I don't think about my miscarriage as much as I used to, and I'm no longer particularly upset over it. I think I have come to terms with what's happened and I almost think if it happens again, I'll just deal with it and keep trying till it works. Obviously I might not be saying this if it actually happens. But I somehow ended up in a frame of mind that whatever comes my way, I'll face it and persevere no matter what. I think I used to overthink and overdramatise a lot, not necessarily in respect of the miscarriage, but generally. I now re-prioritised things in my life and have become more head strong if that makes sense. I just learned to realise that things happen in life, completely out of our control, and you can't let yourself drown in all the negativity and in the sad events, cause you won't have strength to keep going, and that's not going to help you in any way.

I realise this may sound harsh and I probably didn't think I would be in this place. If someone said this to me straight after my MC I would have been upset, but somehow after all that's happened, I think we are far more resilient than we first thought. We got to give ourselves credit for that, and embrace it. I think the future becomes less scary with this attitude, too. Xx

@SunStruck How is the holiday going? I need some gin in my life, straight after the antibiotics! 😉

@Kiki061190 Don't you worry girl, I have pregnancy symptoms and I'm not even pregnant, so you know... 😂😂😂 Don't worry about the lack thereof. How's your IBS?

@bananamonkey Fingers crossed lovely, keep checking every couple of days for your own peace of mind, even if just for a minute or a day, I'd say xxx

@MrsMGE I completely agree. This is the place I got to just before I fell pregnant again. It’s a place of acceptance and is a very healthy place to be. I hope all is ok at the funeral. I’ll be thinking of you. It’s such a horrible time. I’m glad you’re feeling better about the mc. You’re so right about not being able to control some things. We just have to let go and hope for the best! Xx

Amazing @bananamonkey that looks like a decent line to me. Fingers crossed for this one. All signs look good.

So my gp called today and has said not to treat the upset tummy with anything other than water. She’s also just told me a gestational sac was seen on my ultrasound last week. The sonographer didn’t tell us or show us. In fact I’ve worried a bit about ectopic. She had such a poker face. I don’t understand why she wouldn’t say. Anyway I’m over the moon there is a sac and it’s growing in the right place. I’m 5 weeks today! Xx

That’s a great healthy attitude @MrsMGE, it’s so hard when things are out of control. I’ve been so up and down these last few months but days where I cry are now very infrequent. Feel like we’ve all come away and women can be so strong it’s amazing.

Aw that’s so lovely about the little sac @Catconfusion 😊

@bananamonkey I think that’s a great line! Stronger than mines at that point!

@MrsMGE That’s a great mentality, you kind of becoming at peace with the situation after a while and it’s a great point to reach. Fingers crossed for some good news for you soon!

@Catconfusion YES to the sac!!! How amazing but a bit disappointing that the sonographer never said. I don’t understand why she wouldn’t want to share that information with you!

@bananamonkey that is looking like a nice line! FX crossed for you that this is the one!!

@MrsMGE I think everything you said makes perfect sense and absolutely no one on here would judge you for it. Acceptance is an important part of the grieving process. I hope the funeral goes ok for you xxx.

Thank you ladies, I guess it’s best just to put it out of my mind. It’s a little disappointing but maybe she didn’t see it until she looked back at the images. Apparently it can be hard to see the sac at 4 weeks. We’re just very happy and relieved. Such a long way to go though! Xx

Great you’re feeling strong @bananamonkey I often think about how particularly unfair your situation has been. Hopefully this is your time now! Xx

@Catconfusion is this the same sonographer that you mentioned before, the one that was quite abrupt?

@zoomies1 How are you lovely? Everything OK?

Thanks girls, means a lot. It's good to know we are all going through similar stages. Oddly, having my first AF after the MMC has helped too, maybe it's the hormones? Or maybe it's made me think that everything is back to normal and it's a fresh start?

Anyway, next month will definitely be a fresh start for me, I'm not going to be dumb again and get cystitis whilst TTC, I mean, only me, right 🤦🏼‍♀️

On a separate note, continuing with the let's-stay-chilled-out-and-talk-about-silly-little-positive-stuff, I've had a good hair day today! That's my highlight, haha! Xxx

@MrsMGE glad you had a good hair day. There’s definitely something to be said for that. Yes the scan we had at 4 weeks last week. She was very abrupt and when I asked what signs there were of pregnancy she mumbled something about thick lining. Obviously shocked today to hear she saw a pregnancy sac in the right place and said nothing. Xx

@Catconfusion Yes, you'd think if she saw the sac that's clearly something she should have mentioned. Also did she not show you the screen? Was this a private scan facility? Cause that's not on.

@MrsMGE thanks for asking after me. I'm good thanks. I'm in another TWW and I have a very poorly pooch to keep me distracted.

I've been finding this thread a bit tough because of all the BFPs. I am very happy to see them all but I am turning 38 and my original due date is 16th September and I just wanted something to have happened by now. Plus DH went out and got steaming drunk the day of peak fertility so I don't know if I have missed my chance this month. I was NOT happy with him! He had one job......

You sound like you are in a really positive place and that's great considering everything you have going on atm. I really feel for you with the cystitis as well. I'm the same. I have to pee after sex because I used to get them all the time.

Ah @zoomies1. I'm sorry. That's totally understandable. Keep in mind the still-BFN brigade is going strong too! I do believe it's a matter of time for all of us.

What's happening with your pooch? Bless him ❤️

Re your DH, did he have an impromptu night out or did you talk to him before and he just disregarded how important the timing was for you? If the former, what can I say, I sometimes don't know which parts of the brain men use. I don't think I have them. If the latter, then that's not acceptable and I'm really sorry, anyone in your position would be upset. Do you think you can talk to him about this?

You've probably heard it hundreds of times, but 38 really is still a good age for a baby, and perfectly normal. You're not postponing it, you are actively trying, and yes, maybe it's not as easy as it is for some women in their early 20s, but it will work out. It will.

Re due date I don't really know how to deal with this myself. I'm thinking about taking a day off and treating myself and DH to a cinema date and afternoon tea or something along those lines. Just some things we both like to breathe out. But yes, I totally get that approaching is is challenging.

Sending you lots of love ❤️Xxx

@MrsMGE everything is great thank you, been up the mountains relaxing! I am drinking everyday haha, holiday vibes! I am glad to hear you're feeling better. Do you stop drinking when TTC or not? I find it hard as I do love wine on the weekends. And who knows how long it might take! I have a good feeling about us though, probably before the end of the year 😄 I'm glad to hear you're in a better mindset now, me too!

@Catconfusion thank you! So weird about not telling you about the sac, especially since they must have known you're worried after a miscarriage! So happy to hear all is well though and in the right place, got a good feeling this one will be sticky :)

@bananamonkey oh fingers crossed for you!! I think it has to do with your usual luteal phase (about the line). Mine is real short (9-10 days) so the line was really dark already 12 DPO, but if yours is usually 14 days a faint line is normal! That's what I think.

@zoomies1 sorry to hear you feel this way, I'm sure you will get yours soon too xxx

@Kiki061190 how are you feeling? 😄

@zoomies1 sorry I forgot to say - There a quite a few older ladies here, I am 35 and I think @Catconfusion is also a bit older. I really think it will be fine for us to have children, just taking a little bit longer probably. I know it's stressful though, especially since we want 2, and it feels like the clock is ticking.

Sorry to hear about your DH, it's so annoying isn't it? We only have a few days a month we can actually get pregnant and that's what they do! My DH has done similar too in previous months. I think they don't get how stressful it gets for a woman. My DH has the 'we have all the time in the world' mentality too 🙄

@zoomies1 I totally understand why you would be annoyed that he got drunk during your fertile window. It is such a small window and I think men don’t understand how much every day of it counts! They just think it’ll happen when it happens....

@SunStruck thanks for asking after me! I’m doing well, I feel no different other than tiredness. 5 weeks tomorrow so time will tell! So glad you’re having a nice relaxing holiday ♥️ You deserve it!

@MrsMGE a good hair day is few and far between for me!

@zoomies1 I’m really sorry you are feeling down and even more sorry if the pregnancy chatter on here made you feel left behind. That’s why I moved it to another thread. It was also really hard for me to watch other people on here get bfps before me, even though I was so happy for them and everyone on here deserves massive happiness after what we have all been through. It’s just hard when it’s taking awhile and you are wondering when it will be your turn. Totally natural. It will happen to you when you least expect it and then you will have another set of worries, unfortunately! And 38 is not too old, as @SunStruck said. Many women have perfectly healthy pregnancies at that age and I’m sure you will be one of them. I’m just sorry DH wasn’t cooperating this month - that can be so frustrating! I hate it when they don’t comply with the all important shag timetable. But remember, I got pregnant five days before O, so catching peak fertility doesn’t always matter so much as long as you have some bding sessions around fertile time. I have everything crossed for you that get your BFP soon!! ❤️

@Sunstruck I’m so glad you are having an amazing holiday! Drink all the wine while you can, even in the tww, I really don’t think it’s going to impact anything and it’s best for you to just relax and enjoy life. The tww is stressful enough as it is! When are you testing?

@MrsMGE it’s a private clinic the nhs use. No she didn’t show us the screen. She said it was too early to see anything. I’ve always been shown the screen. Even when my pcos was diagnosed they showed me my ovaries. It wasn’t on really but at least it’s good news. Xx

@zoomies1 I completely understand. Remember I am now 40. We definitely have to face the fact we may only have 1 baby. I will need a c section due to a hip problem and they advise waiting 18 months. By then it could be too late. That’s if this pregnancy works out. It’s very scary getting older but it can happen very quickly. Only 4 weeks ago I was really struggling and feeling like it would never happen for me, especially due to my age. You will get there. Just enjoy life as much as you can in the meantime xx

@SunStruck your holiday sounds amazing. Have a lovely time. Good luck for the tww. Xx

@sadtoday21 thanks! Xxx I'm going to wait until end of next week if AF won't show up before. I have a really short luteal phase so AF should show up mid next week 😄 last time I had really and cramps for 2 days around when AF should have shown up which must have been implantation (I thought AF was due any day). So I'm hoping I'm getting some fees by early next week 😄

*feels

Sorry about your dog @zoomies1 hope he/she’s ok. I totally get why it’s a tough read, we all do. I’m 37 too btw so I also have the same worries. My DH did the same this month, so annoying! We only dtd 4 and 2 days prior to O so you never know. It’d be much easier if he could just leave sperm in a cup for me to use on the right days 😂

Enjoy your lovely holiday @SunStruck! Thank you, luteal phase is generally around 14 days since the mmc so hopefully it’s that.

Just realised my due date is looming this weekend, will have to do something nice as a distraction.

@bananamonkey I literally nearly choked at the "sperm in a cup" line, spat my morning coffee all over the keyboard!!! 😂😂😂🙌