First Pregnancy Missed Miscarriage (Part 4)

[Kiki061190]

Hi ladies!

Our previous thread is now full so I’ve made a new one 😘

@SunStruck I didn’t start feeling sick at all until 8 weeks. I have days I feel normal and days I feel awful. A lady in my work is 35 weeks pregnant and was never sick once and says she hasn’t ever felt pregnant in terms of any symptoms. Everyone is different. I’m looking forward to next scan and also very anxious now. Which day is your next scan?

@MrsMGE It’s great you are starting counselling. I understand how you are feeling about juggling that and ttc, a lot of emotions going on at once. You are a strong woman ♥️

@MrsMGE I glad to hear you're soldiering on! Take each day as it comes and focus on other things for the time being. Just do things that makes you happy and plan ahead - I really feel I have put (and still putting) things on hold for this elusive baby! I think I might do what you've done with booking a mini holiday as I'm still far from out of the woods yet.

@Catconfusion thank you 😊 and happy to hear you're feeling more human again! Hopefully it remains that way.

@Kiki061190 thanks for your words, good hearing that everyone's different (and hopefully each pregnancy is too!). My scan is tomorrow afternoon x

@SunStruck Thinking if you today ♥️♥️♥️

Thanks @SunStruck I think I spoke to soon. DH brought a stomach bug home from work. We've both been laid up on the sofa not even being able to hold water down. I'm exhausted after being pretty ill after the last couple of months with the hg and now this. Anyway thankfully we're both a bit better today. I just hope baby is ok. Scan on Saturday.

I really hope the scan goes well and it's good news. Thinking of you! Xx

Ladies thanks so much for your support! Unfortunately it does not look good. Sac is larger and yolk seen but still no fetal pole, and they should definitely see this by now. Looks like another miscarriage 😔 I'll be honest to say I'm not that sad this time, I'm more annoyed that I've been pregnant for so many weeks/months combined, felt sick, feeling fatigued and just not being myself - All for nothing!

I'm literally going to bed at 8pm every night 😂 I'm just hoping that this will naturally happen quickly so I can go back to normal again! Due to see the Dr again next week but definitely not hopeful. Dr even said stop using aspirin and progesterone for now as it might hold the potential miscarriage back rather than letting it happen 🤷🏻‍♀️

I'm glad I got a bunch of ladies who understand!

Oh and something really pissed me off today, about one of my very good friends I told last week about the pregnancy (first person apart from DH), I had to say I was because we were out for a brunch and I wasn't drinking. She would have guessed anyway. Told her to keep quiet due to what happened last time... she was out last night very tipsy, told another friend of ours 😡 She knew I was having this scan today and didn't want anyone to know my business as it might be positive, but there she goes! She's obviously really sorry and it slipped bla bla. Won't tell her early again for sure!

@Catconfusion oh no you've been so unlucky! I really hope you both recover soon. Exciting for another scan soon :) which one is this?

@Kiki061190 thanks for your support ❤️

@MrsMGE I might be back on the TTC train with you soon again sista, next time lucky ay?! 😉 jokes aside I hope you're feeling stronger xxx

Might not be positive I meant! She knew about my MMC so feels shit that she would tell the first best person when drunk. This person knows our entire friendship circle (has promised won't say anything but anyway).

Oh no @SunStruck I'm absolutely gutted for you. Such sad news after feeling so pregnant and suffering with the symptoms. I can completely understand feeling angry. How many weeks should you be? I have heard of people getting to 6 weeks and there not being a fetal pole but I guess if the sac was looking big and the doctors aren't hopeful you have to go with that. I'm so sorry!

Hopefully it will pass quickly so you can recover. Also rubbish news about your friend. It was not her news to spread.

I'll be just under 15 weeks and it's our last scan at the early pregnancy unit for reassurance so I can be discharged. I'm a bit more nervous due to just having had the stomach bug but hopefully it'll be ok.

I have to say I really admire your attitude. It will happen for you and I hope it's soon! Xx

@Catconfusion thank you! ❤️ yes just have to get on with it. It's my birthday on Saturday so we will be out for a nice brunch tomorrow and do something on Sat too, taking my mind off things 😄 I feel stronger this time around and less naive, I've been through worse before (MMC) and went into this second round more prepared, so it actually feels less gutting - I'm happy I conceived so quickly both times, hopefully it means I'm actually quite fertile and that it's down to luck!

Your baby will be just fine! 15 weeks, time flies (I know it doesn't feel like it though)! So glad you have all your tests out of the way too and positive results ❤️

I hope you can still have a lovely birthday @SunStruck I agree it's really positive you conceived again. A few of us on here have been through two losses. It completely sucks but really bodes well for it being third time lucky. Your body is doing an amazing job. Every conception is unique and an intricate mix of chromosomes. If something is slightly off it doesn't work but when it's right it's right and the embryo is super resilient. I'm sure it won't be long before you get some luck and a sticky one.

Thank you, definitely feel less nervous going into this scan. The worry never completely goes though. We do feel very blessed we're this far along. Xx

@SunStruck I’m so sorry about the news today ♥️ Sending lots of love and you have us here for support. I think you’re an incredibly strong and amazing woman. Your rainbow baby is just around the corner 🌈

Oh crikey @SunStruck. I'm sorry, I did take a step back from our thread for a bit and only now catching up on everything. I get what you're saying about not feeling that sad now, that is completely understandable after the tough beginning you've had, I guess you probably never really let go of the fear that something may not be 100% right. But don't forget, if your feelings change, whichever way, just go with it. At the end of the day, facing a second MC is a horrendous experience and I feel so, so sorry that it's happened to you, and so, so angry in the same time. I just wish we had a magic button that could erase, rewind and start afresh and that you'd never have to go through this, not once, and not to mention twice!

Where is your DH now? Do you have anyone with you now?

Honestly. I can't even express how gutted I am for you, I've been thinking about you and your bean every day and keeping my fingers crossed for you both. It fucking sucks, I'm not going to sugar coat. Just before your birthday too, life is so cynical at times, isn't it just!

Just take each day as it comes, one step at a time. Let it out on here, you know you're safe. Sending you the biggest, most mahoosive of hugs through the Internet now ❤️❤️❤️ xxxxxxx

Thanks @MrsMGE ❤️ yes this place is godsend, I'll definitely let you guys know if mood changes. Right now I'm just waiting for it to happen. Dr wants me to go back next week if nothing happens as a fetal pole might pop up, but honestly I'm so Sick and tired of going there for scans. There's never any good news! I'd prefer just to wait and let it happen. I've decided that for the next time I get pregnant I'm not gonna go for blood tests and super early scans, it's just nervewrecking and won't change the outcome in any way anyway. I'll do a viability one at 6.5 weeks or so. Feels like I've been in the hospital more than home this year!

DH is home now and was with me yesterday when we got the news - he says he's the bad luck charm as he was there when we discovered the mmc too poor thing! I think we're both super realistic About this one and did not get our hopes up (especially since sac measuring a week behind last time), so we're fine. Just want to get back in the TTC game as soon as we can.

How are you feeling now?! Massive hugs back!

@Kiki061190 thank you, I'm also very hopeful we will all have our rainbow babies soon! It's a long and hard road but I'm positive we will get there. How are you feeling and when is your 20 week scan? Xxx

@SunStruck Yes, I'm the same, I won't bother till 7 weeks next time, unless it is necessary to have an earlier scan. I find scans are one of my triggers and I also totally get what you're saying re associating medical professionals/premises with bad news. I really think I'd like to spend absolute minimum time going to the GP, midwife, EPAU, private scans etc. There's a lot of it anyway, isn't there. How are you today? First day of the weekend for you? Xxx

I agree with you @MrsMGE @SunStruck. I associate my EPU with bad news and just the thought of being there gives me anxiety and negative feelings.

It almost seems unbelievable to me that other women don't go to the hospital until their midwife appointment and all just goes smoothly.

After one loss you can perhaps still believe in chance but after two you just sort of start to seek more answers, naturally.

My EPU were great with both my miscarriages but certainly only look after the physics side of your miscarriage, for the mental side and emotional side you need to seek help elsewhere. I think the offer should be there straight away for some sort of counselling or mental support.

Hope you all have a good weekend and find something to make you smile, make you feel happy even if just for some time. I went to a really nice afternoon tea with my mum today as I'm still signed off and it just felt so nice to do something for my mum, who has been a great emotional help during this second miscarriage for me. Xxx

Hey @SunStruck ❤️ Happy birthday, lovely ❤️ Thinking about you today, I hope you ventured out somewhere nice with DH? Wishing you all the happiness ❤️❤️❤️

Hey @SunStruck Happy Birthday! I do hope you're managing to have a nice time. Xx

Thanks so much ladies ❤️ yes went out for a really nice meal (with the rugby on 🙄🤣). I've called in sick today as I'm properly bleeding now, I feel really bad for doing it but since I don't know what to expect, I don't want it to happen at work! I'm snuggling up with Netflix and my pets today!

I'm a bit surprised it's not painful at all (yet), I thought it would be bad! Maybe I'm speaking too soon though.

What are you ladies up to this weekend?

Hey @SunStruck I'm so glad you went out for your birthday despite what's going on. Don't feel bad for calling in sick. You're in the right place with your pets and Netflix. You may not experience too much pain and I really hope it's over quickly. You continue to impress me with your attitude. It's rubbish but you're doing so well. I'll be thinking of you today. We're all here if you need us ❤️.

I've not done too much this weekend as DH is still feeling rough from the stomach bug. We went for a scan yesterday and thankfully all is good. I'm enjoying eating a bit more now and feeling less sick. Time seems to be going quite quickly which is a blessing! Xx

@SunStruck Happy belated birthday ♥️ I really hope this all passes quickly and pain free for you so you. Your rainbow baby is coming, I know it 💓 🌈 your attitude and mentality has been so inspiring!

My scan is tomorrow, I’m super nervous again but i have kept myself incredibly busy this week to take my mind off things. Just hope baby is ok. I’m 14+2 at the moment!

@SunStruck I'm so sorry lovely. Definitely a good decision to stay at home, take as much time off as you need. How are you feeling today, are you in acceptance with what's happening, or do you think it hasn't sunk in? I really hope it's not going to be painful for you, lovely. Is anyone with you today? Are you managing OK (as OK as you can be, that is)? Lots of love to you xxx

@Catconfusion amazing news!!! The bean is thriving 😍😍😍

@Kiki061190 good luck for your scan tomorrow! I'm sure it will be dancing away! ☺️

@MrsMGE thanks hun! No definitely accepted it, I've just emailed the Dr to ask what the next step is (I said I wanted to let it happen naturally now and just go back for a scan to check it's all gone later on). I asked if she would recommend testing or for us to go again for the third time.

No one with me at home but this is very manageable, my usual periods hurt more! I hope it will be third time lucky for us ❤️

Did you try this cycle? X

Thanks @SunStruck I'm so glad you're in contact with your doctor and looking forward. Also that the pain is manageable. Sending love! Xx

@SunStruck It sounds like you have a very good doctor so I’m sure they will take you down the right path to baby! ♥️ Never worry about being off work because your health is the most important thing. Take as long as you need! Your body has a way of telling you what it needs.

I’ve woken up this morning with the first bit of energy I feel I’ve had in ages! Have powered through so much housework and I’m heading out for lunch with my mum. I was sick last night so hoping some food stays down 😳

@Kiki061190 that's brilliant news. I'm feeling good too now I'm over the stomach bug. I even had a decaf coffee. Who even am I!? I just hope it continues for us both. Best of luck for tomorrow. I'm sure it'll be fine! Xx

@SunStruck I'm glad to hear this, you do have an amazing attitude considering the circumstances. I'm really not sure where I would be if that happened to me again, I guess this would depend on the circumstances, but it's definitely good to know you're all here ❤️🙏 I hope this gives you some light in this situation. Just take it easy for now, let yourself recover fully before making ttc plans. You'll definitely get there, but as you know (and I know too well, too), any kind of pressure is not your friend right now.

Re me, I don't really know tbh. I know it sounds stupid, but I am genuinely a bit lost. I was temping, as you know, FF picked up O on CD18 (5 days ago). That was consistent with CM and I used few OPKs too (completely randomly), and they came back with High Fertility LH 70+ too. Although, I think if I did ovulate, I may have missed my Peak Fertility on OPKs. I was in such disbelief that I didn't use them throughout the day when it showed High Fertility and I had a gap of 14 hrs between them. By the looks of things, it was all correct though. I just don't believe it because it's 7 days earlier than last cycle. Because it was so early, we didn't exactly plan for TTC, so I don't really know what to say in response to your question, tbh!

I think I'll just monitor my cycle, I'd say if that was O, it should be a lot shorter than the 37 days I had last time. I have no idea what's going on with the length of my luteal phase either - I've been taking B complex, iron, Vit D and the stronger prescribed folic acid this cycle. Temps have been above the cover line at around 36.6-36.7C since the potential O date and today I'm on the coverline (around 36.3C). I can't work it out yet tbh.

@Kiki061190 @Catconfusion Both your pregnancies are flying by! I'm glad everything is going well and hopefully it stays this way, sending love to you both ❤️ xxx