First Pregnancy Missed Miscarriage

[sadtoday21]

Hi ladies! Our last thread was automatically closed because we reached the 1,000 post limit. I was hoping we would be able to start a new thread called First Pregnancy Post-MMC, but unfortunately we are not quite there yet. I know we will be someday soon! In the meantime, I hope you will all join me on here as we continue on this journey together. You have all been an invaluable source of inspiration, support, and kindness for me and I want to thank you for making me feel less alone in this.

About me, for any newcomers: First MMC in February at 12 weeks (baby passed at nine), D&C the next day, found out five weeks later that it was a partial molar pregnancy and currently undergoing follow-up with CX. Second early mc in April. Now impatiently waiting to be cleared from CX before ttc again.

@3204ECL I think you still have a good chance. Can you do it again Sunday night or Monday morning?

I'm ok thank you after the nightmare of a day. I'm cd 6 and just thinking about what I can do differently this time. I'm wondering if I should go back to gluten, dairy and sugar free as it definitely lowered my temps. I feel I need to do something to prevent a day 36 ovulation which was very stressful! I'm also going to stop coffee. I had my last one this morning 😪 xx

That's good news @bananamonkey and I hope it happens before you go away! Xx

Thanks guys. Here's my chart in case anyone has any thoughts. I thought it was looking pretty good up until the last couple of days. If it turns out I didn't ovulate after all then that royally sucks. Just when I start to climb up from rock bottom something comes along to kick me back down.

@AnnaMC214 it looks like you're about 14 dpo. AF has to start soon. My Luteal phase is long at 17 days. Normal is 11-17 days so still time for it to come. Xx

If it helps I think you did ovulate @AnnaMC214 that temperature spike probably due to hormone fluctuations after mmc has confused FF. xx

Thanks @Catconfusion - if I remove today's temp it puts in the cross hairs and puts my O on the 30th. I think the sustained low temp with no af has thrown it. When your lp is 17 days when does your temp generally start to drop? I'm concerned its been down for 3-4 days now with no action and I don't really even have any symptoms of af anymore.

I'm not sure @AnnaMC214 when my temp drops as I use Ovusense so I generally stop once O is confirmed. I looked back at my first cycle and I temped until day 12 and had just had a drop. If this is typical I potentially start dropping 5 days before AF.

I think give it a few days and try not to worry unless AF doesn't come. A longer LP is a good sign of healthy progesterone, especially if no spotting. Xx

@Catconfusion ok I'll try not to despair yet then. It doesn't take much to tip me over the edge these days! Thank you so much for taking the time to answer me and put my mind at rest a bit. I'm so grateful ❤️xx

@AnnaMC214 no problem. I felt very similar. Any little sign my body was failing sent me over the edge. That feeling will pass. Just trust your body as much as you can. It will heal with time. Xx

Hi @AnnaMC214 I also have a long LP - 16 days on average! My first cycle after mmc the temp drop did not occur until cd16 and then AF came on cd18. The next cycle was different, with AF coming the same day as the temp drop. So, it usually takes about 2 days or less from the time of temp drop to AF arrival. Which would make AF arriving about today for you! Don't give up hope, I know how hard it is to wait (believe me, it's the worst, I really feel for you!), BUT usually these things happen just when we have almost given up. I think it's right around the corner for you and your chart definitely shows O with that huge temp rise, so try not to worry too much about that. Fingers crossed for AF tonight!!

@bananamonkey yay for smileys!!! So pleased for you and that you will have time to dtd now.

@3204ECL last cycle I got pregnant from dtd one time FIVE whole days before O! I couldn't believe it. So you are definitely going to be in the fertile window and it sounds like you have got it all covered. Fingers crossed for a bfp this month!!! I'm really hoping that will be the case for you.

@Catconfusion thanks so much for your reply to my post last night, it made me feel a lot better to wake up and read it. I knew you would understand. I'm just going to try to ignore the fact that everyone else seems to be pregnant and focus on my career a bit more, which is also really important to me. You and I both seem to have the longest cycles on here, so I totally get your frustration with the OPKs and running out of them before O! I think cd14 is early enough to start for me, honestly, although I'm so scared of missing it this month that I might give in and start at cd12. But, last month I O'd on cd24 so I definitely don't have enough sticks for that! I might just see what the CM is doing and try to get more bding in than usual.

@sadtoday21 you are more than welcome. It's so hard when people around us are seemingly not experiencing the same struggles.

I was lucky enough to get the connected opks cheap on EBay so I have 25. Therefore I'm a bit tempted to start maybe on cd 11. This gives me until cd 36 which is the latest one I've had. Day 14 is my earliest so I want to start just in case since I'm on the Inositol now. Some people find it greatly brings O forwards. Xx

Interesting @Catconfusion that inositol brings O forward. I'd never heard that before! Do you know why? It seems like it might be a useful supplement to add to my list in that case.

I'm really counting down the days until O this month, as a lot of us on here are right now. I so want to be pregnant again soon! It's very hard to wait for so long for something you want so much. How are you ladies all dealing with the waiting around?

@sadtoday21 thank you. It's a great comfort to hear that you and Catconfusion think my chart shows ovulation. I felt quite upset when FF removed my crosshairs like I was somehow defective. I know I have no place moaning really when you and others on here know all too well about waiting. It didn't help that I had to go to the dentist this morning and answer questions about whether I'm pregnant. No I'm bloody not!! Ugh 😩

Sorry @AnnaMC214 I really really understand what you are going through. I also thought I was defective last month when it took me 24 days to ovulate! And again the month prior to that when it took 36 days. As women, we are so hard on ourselves. I always think something is wrong with me having suffered a mmc/mc the first two times ttc, but I know I am also lucky to have fallen so quickly. And now I'm really scared I won't fall so quickly the third time around and be facing more bfns later this month! It's so hard. Just wanted to give you a virtual hug and let you know that we are all in the same boat as you xxx.

Hi @sadtoday21 I think it all depends on whether you have pcos or not. It helps with insulin resistance which is the cause of delayed or absent ovulation with pcos. Since I have a history of pcos and my ovulation is very irregular I'm hoping it will help me. I'm not sure if it's useful in someone who doesn't have pcos. I use the Zita West one and have been taking it for about a month so my ovulation day this cycle will be interesting.

The waiting is so frustrating. It's so hard to be chilled about it all like you say when it's something you really want. I'm trying hard to keep busy and put my focus elsewhere but it's really tough. Xx

@sadtoday21 I know you all understand so well which makes me both sad and glad that I have you to talk to. I wish I could wave a wand and take away all our worries. Despite those worries though we have to try and remember that none of what has happened means there is anything wrong with us that will prevent us having healthy babies in the future. It's just that nature refuses to follow any set rules no matter how hard we try to control things. xx

Can I just ask if everyone is willing to join in. I am interested to know everyone's backgrounds? What brought you here? I feel I am going to get to know you all better and I'm interested to know a small history if you are willing.

I will start although I am at the start of my journey.Husband had testicular cancer and had one testicle removed and chemotherapy and he recovered over four years his levels and testosterone returned to normal. We fell in first month of trying and we were so excited. I work as a carer so told work straight away and was moved to light duties. I had staining and very light bleeding throughout and and rely scan at 7 weekend all fine and cervix closed and heartbeat strong. At 11 week I arrived at work covered in blood and lots of cramps etc. Went a and e and had scan after a few hours wait. I knew she had gone. I was devastated as was husband. Went home and labor and delivery was 24 hours. Bled for four days and negative after 8 days. I have been off work total of 3 weeks and info back on Tuesday so that's going to be emotional. We both had tattoos for our lost child too . Ty X

Ah the predictive text lol

errrgh I just found out my friend that I mentioned last night is actually 5 months pregnant, with a boy, and is due one month after mine would have been born! This makes me feel worse, I don't know why.

@Rainbow8bubbles I think this is a wonderful idea and I have long been thinking that I wish this platform was more interactive and searchable so we could have a page with everyone's story on it for reference. Can I just also say that I think you are incredibly strong to have gone through all this and still be getting through the day xxx.

About me: I am 31 (but closer to 32 than I would like to admit), I had a mmc at 12 weeks with my first pregnancy and it turned out to be a partial molar pregnancy so I am not allowed to ttc until I am cleared from Charring Cross (CX). I didn't know it was a partial right away or that anything was wrong (I had no signs at all), so we did ttc the first cycle after my d&c for the mmc and then I had another early mc. Now I am on the cycle after that and hoping to be cleared by CX so I can ttc this month (3.5 months after my mmc, but who's counting...). I was originally due in August and I don't have any children.

@Rainbow8bubbles I’ll join!

My fiancé and I had been toying with the idea of having a baby before we get married in 2021. I’m 28 and he is 27 and everyone said to us we had plenty of time etc! But for us having a family has always been important. I can off the pill and had my last period March 6th and to be honest we never really thought we would get pregnant straight away as I have been on the pill without any breaks for 10 years. 5 days before my period I just knew I was pregnant and I took a first response which had a positive. I couldn’t physically believe it so I continued to take one every day until my period never showed. I was so amazed and excited that I booked an early scan at 6.5 weeks which showed two babies which was a complete shock. I was asked to come back a fortnight later as the twin pregnancy was deemed an identical one and they are higher risk. When I went back I had a feeling something wasn’t ‘right’ and I knew when she started the scan..... no heartbeat. They had stopped growing at 8 weeks. I tried to stay positive that this was a high risk pregnancy and it must have been fate that it wasn’t meant to be. I decided to go for a medically managed miscarriage as my body wasn’t going to let go of the pregnancy itself. I went in last Friday and although it was unpleasant, I feel at peace with the whole thing. I just want to get back to feeling like ‘me’ if that makes sense. We’re going to try again and I have hopes that this year we’ll be announcing an arrival for 2020! The midwives all told me “you’re young, fit and you’ve fallen pregnant first time. It’ll happen again, don’t worry” and that’s what I’m going to keep telling myself 😌👌🏼

@bananamonkey matching flashing smileys and matching predicted O day, how exciting!

Thanks @sadtoday21 that's really reassuring. We got pregnant first time when we had the MMC and DTD every day so I guess in my head I think that's what we need to do even though I know logically that's not the case! Yesterday I got quite upset about it and was thinking about not even trying this cycle but then realised I was being totally ridiculous! Blaming tiredness from a ridiculously busy week at work and hormones I guess! I'm finding the waiting hard as well... Whilst in general (maybe excluding yesterday!) I'm dealing with it better I still think about it all the time! The only time I'm not is sometimes when I'm busy at work or asleep!

Does anyone else still feel more tired than "normal" after the MMC? I sometimes wonder if it's to do with that rather than how busy I've been with work?!

Great idea @Rainbow8bubbles I'm 31, got married last November and DH and I started TTC straight away. We were very lucky to fall pregnant first time on our honeymoon but found out at an early scan at 9 weeks the baby had stopped growing between 6 and 7. Miscarried naturally just before 12 weeks and am now on my 2nd normal cycle post MMC. xxx

Now that everyone is doing introductions again, I thought it might be a good time to mention a little side project that I have been working on as a way to work through my pain and frustration with the mmc/mc.

As you guys know, I started another iteration of this thread three months ago when I first learned of my mmc at 12 weeks. At the time, I was just desperate to talk to someone and I had no idea that it would end up being such a wonderful and amazing group of ladies! You have all inspired, comforted, and saved me, literally every day since I heard the terrible news.

Lately I have been thinking that I want to give back to other women in similar situations and make sure that no one ever feels alone after mc like I did. Let me first say that I love this thread and it is absolutely not going anywhere, but just a few things that I felt could be improved:

(1) This forum is going to close our thread at 1,000 posts, which is happening very fast because we are such a chatty bunch! I know this because it happened last time we reached 1,000 and I don't want to lose anyone in the process. That is one of the main reasons why I started a blogging site that I hope will become a new home for our little community and allow us to continue to grow together.

(2) I often wish the thread were a bit more organised so that we could search it for past answers to questions and have a repository of information that future women could benefit from. For example, I benefited so much from @Amanda81's super expert knowledge on temping and @Catconfusion's excellent advice on supplements. I want this info to be easily available to everyone, so I started a site with webpages that organise all the info and questions that most women have after mc.

(3) It's not super easy for new members to jump into our thread - there is so much to catch up on! - and it's also not always easy to follow everyone and their background. This is part of the reason why I started a new site with a page for "your stories" - so that everyone can easily reference the type of information that @Rainbow8bubbles is asking for just now. The link is below and I would love it if you guys copied and pasted the info on your bios here into the page to get it up and running - it's really a team effort!!

(4) This forum is not super interactive and the technology is old - the site I built allows you to reply in real time to other ladies on here, without having to write @suchandsuch every single time - it's a bit exhausting! Also, much better emojis and I made this fun polling page where you can see what the average timing for AF, O, BFN, etc. is for other ladies going through the same thing. I hope that these features will allow us to support each other even more going forward, as I myself have benefitted so much from the comfort and support from all of you, particularly @AnnaMC214, @bananamonkey, @3204ECL, @LMLP91, and of course @SARmum14, @Amanda81, and @Catconfusion most of all.

(5) I just have to say it - I hate the targeted ads on this forum, especially all the baby ads! I don't like to look at it and I don't like the thought of someone profiting from my loss. The site I built is totally not for profit and it is all anonymous - no more baby ads whatsoever!

OK, so these are all the reasons why I started the new site and why I hope you all will join me over there. It's really a work in progress, so your feedback, posts, blogging ideas, etc. would be most most welcome. I am not really good at these things, but I really feel strongly that this community and the tragedy we have all been through has to mean something and maybe, if we can help others through the same thing, our losses do have meaning.

Please check it out and join me in starting this new chapter. Message me as well if you want to be even more directly involved - I need you ladies in this group effort!

The link for the website is: www.mcandbeyond.weebly.com

Sorry all, the link is the following:

mcandbeyond.weebly.com/

Hi All,

Sorry I haven't been around much. I have been trying to keep up but things have moved on again so fast! Hello to the newbies - sorry you find yourselves here but I hope this group helps.

@sadtoday21 I took a look at your site and I think its a lovely idea and you've done a great job with it! I will try to support and add something although probably not until the weekend.

I had my first proper TWW since MMC, ending in AF. I'm finding it more difficult than I thought I would and I still feel like I have no one IRL to talk to and not sure I could talk about it anyway. So I am treating myself to a new haircut and trying to enjoy the amazing weather.

Hope everyone else is doing ok.

What a great way to invest your energy @sadtoday21. I will have a good look at the website later, possibly at the weekend. On a quick glance though, it looks very impressive, you must be in the trade of websites or something similar.

What a great idea @Rainbow8bubbles - your story sounds like you have had to overcome some very tough times, well done for sticking with it and I'm so sorry this has happened to you.

My back story goes something like this...when I was a teenager I was screened for some poor genetics which is carried within the family. The tests back then where pretty rubbish and would give a result of low, medium or high. I was given a result of 'low' which could be anything up to 33% if carrying the faulty genetic. For me there was a significant risk of carrying a child with Duchenne Muscular Dystrophy (this is a life uniting disease). I watch my uncle, cousin and brother all struggle with this disease and sadly lost my brother when he was 20 after a very difficult end. Recently, say in the last 5-7 years the tests have become more sophisticated and they can give you a result of yes or no...well not no really as the no result is called 'population risk' as anyone can conceive a child with MD sadly. Anyway, at 33 I started the screening process again. This can take up to a year, but for me it took almost two years as there is a lack of specialists and you have to be assigned a genetics counsellor. I got a population risk outcome when I was roughly 35. Took a year to really think, so we actually want a child as by now we have built up a lovely life with kids never really factoring as a possibility. We decided yes. I was on the pill for 20+ years with no break so took a while for body to respond to normality. Fell pregnant in Sept of last year, had a MMC diagnosed at the 12 week scan (Baby measured 10+1). Had an Erpc. Fell pregnant again in March this year and had an early MC at 5+4. Wasn't really trying after the MC, but fell pregnant again straight afterwards and am now somewhere between 7-8 weeks. I'm now 38 and 3 months...age is a big worry for me but couldn't have realistically done anything sooner (apart from that year or procrastinating), so not beating myself up about it. I am lucky that me and my DH are happy either way (child or no child) and have a good happy life, my own business which is doing well (I'm a conservation architect and spend my life around historic buildings) and pretty much do what I want when I want.

I'm out doing a survey today and this is my view!

I'm loving hearing all of your story's, it's nice to have a bit of background xxx

Hi @zoomies1 great to hear from you! I’m sorry your tww just ended in AF - the same thing just happened to me about five days ago. It’s really worse than you expect, isn’t it? I was also upset when I realised AF was coming, even though I know I wasn’t supposed to be trying anyway. I’m worried next month I’ll be even more devastated about it. I know what you mean about not having anyone in RL to talk to about - that’s exactly why I started the blogging thing (and thanks very much for your feedback and for offering to contribute! Short/very informal posts are great - none of us have time for more than that! But it’s really just supposed to be therapeutic for us to heal). I can only talk to DH about the mmc for about a few minutes before he gets agitated. I think he thinks I talk and think about it too much as it is, so I’m really grateful for having you ladies to talk to!

Today I just finished AF and sent off my (hopefully) final sample to CX! But still a lot more waiting to go until O. Got in a tiny bit of a tiff with DH last night because he wants to wait even longer, even once CX says it’s ok. I was shocked and said no way, I have been waiting three months already! I think he’s just being overly cautious and is scared of another mmc. I’m scared too, but I have to put that aside if we are ever going to start a family properly. Just wish he could sometimes try to understand what I’m going through a bit more.

How are you doing today @AnnaMC214? Any news on the AF front? Hope all is well! Xxx