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Miscarriage/pregnancy loss

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Original poster

Missed miscarriage - advice needed please

345 replies

strawberry · 27/05/2004 18:24

I have just found out from a scan that I have a missed miscarriage (ie. no bleeding but fetus not growing and no heart beat). The doctor recommends I have surgery (ERCP) rather than wait for nature to take its course. Does anyone have any advice/experience of this? Please help -I am gutted and don't know what to do. Thanks

OP posts:
serenequeen · 27/05/2004 18:27

sorry to hear this news, strawberry, you must be very upset

i had one of these last year and was given exactly the opposite advice - to let nature take its course and only in the event of a problem to consider a procedure.

who is advising you? is it a specialist? have you been seen at an early pg unit? do you think there is something specific about your situation which has prompted this advice?

marthamoo · 27/05/2004 18:27

strawberry, I am so very sorry - (((HUGS))) I have had a miscarriage but it was complete and I didn't need an ERCP so I have no words of advice for you on that. I hope someone else can help you, I just wanted to offer my comiserations.

serenequeen · 27/05/2004 18:28

are you in london?

Original poster
strawberry · 27/05/2004 18:34

Thanks for your messages. Yes I am in London area. I had 2 scans (2 weeks apart) at the Fetal Medicine Centre so should be good advice. I have heard that ERCP can cause damage to uterus but specialist said it was minor and unlikely to affect future pregnancies. I think the ERCP is to 'get it over and done with' and then move on. It is 10 weeks since my last period.

OP posts:
serenequeen · 27/05/2004 18:40

ok, i'm guessing that since nothing happened in the two weeks that's why they're advising you to have the ERCP.

how do you feel about it? are you worried about the risks they have outlined? do you want to wait a while longer? or are you keen to move on? in my case, it did happen naturally and i have to say i couldn't wait for it to be "all over".

there are mumsnetters who have had this procedure without incident... i hope one of them will see this thread and post here.

serenequeen · 27/05/2004 18:42

hi

i have done a search for you and found some discussion of the procedure here

hth.

hana · 27/05/2004 18:53

strawberry, so sorry to hear your news
If nothing happened 'naturally' in the past two weeks I'd be inclined to have the ERCP. I've never heard of it affecting future pregnancies though. I also had a missed miscarriage last October ( nothing showed at a scan) and a few days later began to lose it naturally.

Such devestating news, hope you have lots of support around you right now
hana

funkydiva · 27/05/2004 18:53

Hello strawberry, I'm so sorry to hear this.
I have had the same sad experience, and I was given the choice to have the ERPC or wait for things to happen naturally. I chose the ERPC after talking to a friend who is a nurse and for me it was the best thing to do.
I was very well looked after, the nurses were very aware of how distressed I was, and the anaesthetist and specialist who were there for the procedure couldn't have been kinder to me.
I did not experience any pain at any time, I was just very tired for a few days and very weepy of course.
One of my main concerns was that I would find it difficult to conceive again, but once things returned to normal I was lucky enough to fall pregnant at the first attempt with my ds.
It is so sad, please take care.xx

mieow · 27/05/2004 19:16

Hi Strawberry, so sorry to hear your news.
I had a missed miscarriage in 1999, started bleeding at 8 weeks, when to hospital where they gave me a Pg test which was negative, so I had a scan the next day, which showed the baby had stopped growing about three weeks beforehand. As I was still bleeding they let me go home, but I had to come back a week later, I passed a large clot the following day so went back to hospital where they told me the baby had gone,
I was very distressed and really didn't want a ERPC so as I was still bleeding they said I could go home but if it stopped suddenly to go back.
I found it helped to talk to people, though many didn't want to (I wasn't lucky enough to have internet access then) Just remember we are here for you. (((((HUGS)))))

popsycal · 27/05/2004 19:21

My sister had exactly the same thing afew weeks ago and went through the the surgery too. She is doing very well at the moment.

Keep posting - other mums on here have gone through this - you will get lots of great support.

Hugs to you and your family

bunny2 · 27/05/2004 19:31

so sorry to hear your news. I have had 2 missed miscarriages and they both broke my heart. I chose to have an ERPC the next day both times as I couldnt bear to carry the fetus around any longer. The operation was quick and painless, I was out of hospital the same day. I then had a heavy period which lasted a few days. With my second ERPC I also had alot of clotting a few days after and was readmitted into hospital and given antibiotics. My normal cycle resumed after a few weeks and I was told I could conceive again as soon as I felt up to it. I am glad I chose to ahve the ERPC so I could end the pregnancy and start to grieve and heal.

Original poster
strawberry · 27/05/2004 20:00

Thanks everyone. I had a look at the other thread about this - thanks serenequeen. I am seeing the GP tomorrow and I think I want it over sooner rather than playing the waiting game. I have just done a PG test out of interest and still postitive so I guess my body still thinks everything's ok. I hope they can do it quite quickly. DH is away at the mo but DS keeps saying 'Mummy sad, Mummy hurt' and giving me lots of hugs. I keep trying to think why it might have happened but of course no-one can explain why this happens.

OP posts:
bunny2 · 27/05/2004 20:02

strawberry, the pregnancy hormones will diminish but you can still get + preg tests for a while. I felt enormously let down by my body for letting me carry on thinking I was pregnant. I hope it goes well at the gps tomorrow.

nevska · 27/05/2004 21:04

Hi Strasberry,

I agree with the ladies who chose the ERPC because i did the same. I found out I had blighted ovum at 10 weeks (sac no baby) and i was really shocked to say the least. i also did pg tests and they were + so i almost thought that the doctor got it wrong. I went for another scan two days later and when they confirmed the bad news i simply opted for the ERPC, the doctor was almost surprised at the speed of my decision as he couldnt even finish explaying the pros and cons. I had already spent few sleepless nights reading about it so I felt i was ready to move on. A lot of women say that they become more fertile after a D&C.
The procedure was quick and painless and everybody was extremely friendly and helpful. there were two other ladies who were sccheduled for the same procedure.

i hope everything goes well!

keep writing, i found it very soothing having so many other people sharing their experience with me.

take care,
nevska

gingernut · 27/05/2004 22:07

Strawberry, I'm really sorry to hear your news. I can't advise you about the practicalities of having an ERPC because when I had my m/c, although I was booked in for the op, it happened naturally 2 days before I was booked in anyway. However, if I was in that position again I'd opt for an ERPC, because I prefer the relative certainty of the ERPC. That's just my take on things.

Like others here, I conceived fairly quickly after my miscarriage and that time I had a normal healthy pregnancy.

Good luck with whatever you decide to do.

Ghosty · 27/05/2004 22:14

Dear Strawberry
So sorry to hear your sad news ...
If I were you I would go in for the ERCP ... I let nature take its course when I had my m/c and it was quite traumatic ... I then had to have an ERCP anyway two weeks later as my body hadn't done its job properly ... so I had a double whammy.
If it were ever to happen again to me (god forbid) I would just go in for the surgery.
Hugs {{{}}}

fisil · 27/05/2004 22:18

Hi strawberry. Big hugs. It is now 11 weeks since my miscarriage and it is still very raw. It is a horrible horrible thing to go through, and anything you feel is completely OK!

I'm glad that you have found the other thread useful. I was so touched by the support that I got on that thread while I was going through it myself. In the end there was virtually no physical pain - the pain was all emotional. I am so glad I had the ERCP. It was quick and easy, and I couldn't bear the thought of having to wait for it to come naturally (mine was still growing, but very very slowly and without a heart, so it could have been some time), and then having to cope with the bleeding and period-type pains on top of everything else. I was just so glad to get it all sorted in the hospital.

I know what you're saying about your ds too. Mine had just started to walk before my first scan. In the two weeks between the scan & ERCP he didn't walk at all and he had almost constant tantrums! He knew how upset we all were.

Big hugs, and keep posting, because the next few days are going to be very hard.

bran · 28/05/2004 11:01

I'm really sorry for you Strawberry - it's a really miserable thing to happen. I had to have a D&C (is that the same thing as and ERCP?) at about 10 weeks after the heartbeat stopped. It was fairly painless, like a mild period pain for a couple of days and very quick, I went in for surgery at 10am and I was home for lunch. I hope everything goes well for you.

magnum · 28/05/2004 11:05

I had the same thing. They recommended I go home and wait for nature to take its course. It took over two weeks to happen. I was young at the time and when it started happening, thought it was normal. It wasn't. I lost loads of blood and it turned out I was hammoraghing (sp awful i know). The ambulance got to me just in time. I would recommend surgery to get it over and done with as my experience was awful.

sykes · 28/05/2004 11:10

Strawberry, I had two and had surgery both times. The doctors/nurses were very kind. It was a shock, particularly the first time but I personally (as much as I was dreading it) found it better to have surgery - which was recommended - rather than wait. So sorry and hope your dh is around for you.

Canadianmom · 28/05/2004 12:36

Strawberry, I am so very sorry to hear of your loss... Not an easy time. I have also had 2 missed miscarriages one at 18 weeks and labour needed to be induced as I was too far along but 2 weeks later I needed a D&C as the miscarriage was incomplete. For the second one (11+ weeks) I opted for the 'easy way out' as it was explained to me at the EPU. Sadly I spent 2 nights in hospital waiting for the procedure (leaving a breast fed 19 month old at home with his dad and two older sibs) only to have the operation go wrong. There were retained materials and I was re-admitted for a furter 2 days a week later having lost far too much blood and with a bad infection. There doesn't seem to be an easy answer in all situations. I hope that you are able to make the best decision for you and your family.

muddaofsuburbia · 28/05/2004 13:00

Strawberry - firstly - so sorry that this has happened

I had a missed miscarriage at 10 wks. I was offered a D&C. I had the choice of waiting 3 days (over a weekend) or waiting til that afternoon and I chose the soonest option - I couldn't face prolonging being pg when I knew I wasn't anymore - I needed to start grieving and moving on.

The staff were great and I was given as much time as I needed to get sorted to go home afterwards that evening. Miserable experience but mainly because of the grief, the procedure itself was fine.

I had really painful period cramps afterwards. I waited one month and got pregnant again straight away. My m/w said a D&C was the best thing for clearing out anything that may have caused some difficulty for the first pg - as far as I know it's quite a common procedure for loads of gynae problems. Best wishes.

serenequeen · 28/05/2004 13:31

hello strawberry

how are you doing today? made any decisions? having an mc/ really is cr*p, isn't it.

ggglimpopo · 28/05/2004 14:56

Message withdrawn

hana · 28/05/2004 15:10

how are you strawberry?