Missed miscarriage - advice needed please

[strawberry]

I have just found out from a scan that I have a missed miscarriage (ie. no bleeding but fetus not growing and no heart beat). The doctor recommends I have surgery (ERCP) rather than wait for nature to take its course. Does anyone have any advice/experience of this? Please help -I am gutted and don't know what to do. Thanks

oops, how mad am i! just noticed the dates for others, bye!!

Well never in a million years did i think i would be in the same situation as many other mums, i was told yestedday there was no heartbeat and it has been a total shock to me, i having stopped cryi since.I e a son 12 and now i am 31 decided to have another, unfortunetly at 6 weeks the sac was very small and yesterday there was no heartbeat so now i am sitting and waiting for hopefully the natural way, well thats my decision for now, what i want to know is what do i expect to happen???Is there going to be alot of blood ??? AWill it be okay if it happens outside???Please if anyone could advise me as i am worried sick.

lynneclyn , really feel for you , i had a missed m/c last week and i did not wait for nature to takes its course , i knew in my head that i was not pregnanat , couldnt stand the thought of my body doing something different so i had a d&c the next day. Felt really crap all week but starting to feel better now. there were lots of cramps with the d&c and the bleeding was on and off - Sorry i cant be of any more help but hope that your doing o.k -
There seems to be a few of us this month xxxxxx

Thanks pinkranger, i dont think i have any tears left now, well for the moment anyway. I would like nature to take its course, of course things dont always go to plan as we very well know,my lower back is very sore this evening and i have severe stomach cramps, i dont know if this is normal or what?? Only time will tell. I wish you all the very best for the future xox I myself would very much love to try for another baby, i have read you should wait until you have at least one period...does anyone have any thoughts on this??? My thought are..i came of the pill in june and i was pregnant in july, is this what caused the mc??who knows!

Hi Lnne Clynne, sorry to hear what you are going through. I had a m/c in April (at 6 wks pg) and decided to take things naturally (against hospital advice) but my body coped fine , just like a heavy period for the most part.
Unfortunately three weeks ago I had a missed m/c (10 wks pg, but baby died at 8), just after an early scan had shown the heartbeat. I was on holiday and the hospital advice was to let nature take its course (Which I wanted to do), but this time things didn't go right and I had to be taken in for an emergency ERPC, but I think the main thing is that you will know when things aren't going right in your heart of hearts.
I needed to go through things naturally first time in order to grieve and to prove to myself that things weren't going to make themselves right and that it really was the end of my pregnancy.
The only thing I have found this time is that I haven't let it all out as much. (as seen on another thread.
Jossie

Jossie, thanks very much for you advice, this is very much appreciated, i am so sorry to hear what you too are going through and been through, i will keep you informed of any changes..still nothing for now had cramps the last 2 days and lower back pain but still no sign of anything, once again jossie thank you very much.
Lynne

No problem LC, with my missed m/c I was bleeding on and off for 3 days before I got the courage to go to the doctor, then bled a bit more for two days (but then got excessive and got taken in). The first time on about day 3 after first bleeding I was in the most discomfort (not pain), with the heaviest bleeding, then it got lighter and easier over about 5 more days before it stopped.
Best wishes at this awful time
Jossie

lc, sorry to hear about this...I have had x2 mc and the 1st was a missed mc. I was 12 weeks but baby had gone at around 10 weeks. I didn't want a d&c so opted for the medication option.

2 days after the bad news I was admitted to a day ward and given 2 tablets over the whole day. I wasn't prepared by the medical staff about what would happen and I was so scared. Scared in fact that each toilet trip dh had to come with me . Not an attractive sight I know but him being there was such great support. He saw it as his role to go through EVERYTHING with me.

At 6pm nothing much had happened but I had been advised that the tablets were working correctly. I decided to go hom. My mistake was going home via the supermarket. I remember hearing a "popping" sound and I just knew I HAD to get home. I didn't make it in time...in the car I bled heavily and continued to do so for the next 8 hours.

I had access to medical staff at the hospital and I called them frequesntly with questions. They were brilliant and told me all was normal but told me what I should/shoudn't expect.

TBH I am so glad that all of this happened at home as I'm quite a personal person and being in my own home make me slightly relaxed. I know being on a ward in full view while rushing to and from the toilet would have stressed me.

I hope all goes well what ever your decision and I hope you go onto have more babies. Luckily we finally conceived our gorgeous 15 months old dd and I'm currently 17 weeks.

The fear of a mc NEVER dies sadly and be prepared for the concern when.if you next get pregnant.

I'm here if you need more advice etc. xx

So sorry for you. I had a missed miscarriage, baby was 9 weeks old. I didn't want an ERCP but couldn't bear sitting waiting for something to happen so had medical management - tablets then pessary. Had it at the hospital. Was not pleasant at all - bled very very heavily as cervix not closing properly and was glad I was at hospital. The thing no one had prepared me for was that the baby was formed and obviously a tiny baby - not a 'bundle of cells'. To be honest it was nice to see it and say goodbye. Then a week later had more bleeding and still had bits of placenta inside when examined so had an ECRP after all and it really wasn't all that bad. The docs were lovely to me, just hated the ward nurse who was completely unsympathetic (to the point of saying 'oh what a good result' when the baby came out).
They cremate all products of miscarriages in a group service that you could go to - don't know what you would do with 'the baby' if you were at home? I was glad I'd been in hospital in the end.

btw I am currently 35 weeks - there is hope after mc.

Saallyrose, i am so so happy for you, not long to go now!We have decided to try again...fingers crossed everything will go ok...spoke with my dc today and she has put my mind at rest along with all the girls who have helped me on mumsnet, i don't know what i would have done if it weren't for you lovely people, the doc put my mind at rest with explaining in full about missed miscarriages as i knew nothing, having giving birth to a healthy boy 12 years ago,this is all new to me and the biggest shock in my whole life, i haven't cried so much in all my life as i have in the last 2 days.Just want to thank everyone for sharing their stories and advice with me as it's been a great help, go more help and advice from you girls than i have froany doc,nurse or midwife, thanks again!
Lynne

Good on you LC for your decision, we too hope to try again, but might be having a few tests first if we can get them done privately as I've had 2 m/c. Never no we could both be lucky in the future
Jossie

Thanks Jossie, I already have 1 son aged 12, so the doc isn't concerned in any way, my friend on the other hand has no kids,she's had 4 mc but she is now 7 months pregnant and all is well, i also know of a friend of a friend who has had 13 mc but went on to have 4 sons, so who knows??I wish you all the very best in the future to yourself and your husband!
Lynne

Jossie, i forgot to mention, that 2 mc are unfortunetly very common, i, probably like yourself have been looking in to this in a hugh way, having spoke with my doc on friday she explained this to me, also it happens to 6 out of 10 pregnancies, she told me it is just pure bad luck we were in the 6
Good luck Jossie no matter what your decision!
Lynne

I know Lynne Clynne- have you read the Lesley Regan book, I've found it really useful and interesting, that's what's made me look into tests especially as in it is says (in better terms than I can put it) that if a heartbeat is een at 8 weeks (as mine was 2nd time) then there is a 90% chance of survival and also that it is probably not a case of "something wrong with the baby" it is probably something from my body causing in to not proceed (blood clotting or similar), so I feel I need to find out why? (or maybe they won't find the why but at least I'll have tried to find out). I think it's just my way of dealing with it.
Good to get support from someone who is going through the same-funny I tok pregnancy for granted with my boys and just carried on as normal!
Sorry for rabbling on

Josie, i haven't read that book, will have to look out for it, that's interesting to know, i too took everything for granted, at 6 weeks or really 7 weeks there was a heartbeat but they say it was very very small, mmm.. i did feel strange though had no morning sickness or heartburn just breasts a bit tender, they still are.They did mention a clot to me, 2 weeks back had first scan she asked if i had been bleeding alot, when i replied no she said there were signs of a lot of bleeding, im still a bit confused about that bit,will have to ask her on wed when i go.If this helps with dealing with your loss then go for it! Everyone handles it differently, i have been decorating, jogging, gardening and keeping myself very busy over the last week, i have found this helps me alot, though friends and family say i should be resting, but that just makes things worse for me anyway.Thanks Josie, keep me informed wih how you are getting on with things!

Hi Lynne Clynne, the full title of that book is "Miscarriage-What every woman needs to know". It's really good, even DH was reading it yesterday and he tries to avoid these kind of books, but kept commenting favourably on what he was reading
J

Oh thanks for that Josie, i'll look out for that tomorrow.
Take care
Lynne

Hi girls, just wanted to thank everyone for sharing their stories and advice with me 2 weeks back when i was told i had mc, without you lot i dont know what i would have done!!
I did continue with letting nature take its course and it took its course this morning, had severe pain (labour type) very very very painfull during the night, cried most of the night with pain, but this morning at 8.00, went to the loo, just heard a loud plop, looked down and i'm pretty convinced that was it, please excuse the next bit, i had to examine it to put my mind at ease, i know it sounds horrible, my husband was mortified when i told him, but had to do, tried to pick it up, got bit of a fright, it was like a tiny, tiny baby sort of jelly like but hard, sorry if there's too much detail, its just to make others aware if they choose for nature to take its course, even although i was in alot of pain i wouldn't have had it any other way, it gave me time to grieve rather than some doctor remove it from me, but i do understand we are all individuals and we all have different needs, so go with what your heart is telling you, this was my option from day one, i wasnt sure if it would be my last decission, but it was and its made me an even stronger person for that!I wish you all the very best with your futures!
Lynne xox

Jossie, i managed to order that book on Amazon, so i look forward to reading that when it arrives.
Hope everything is going well with you and your husband!
Lynne

Hi girls, just wanted to thank everyone for sharing their experiences with me and offering their help and advice two weeks back when i mc at 7 weeks,without you girls i dont know were i would be.
Well i did go on with my option of nature taking its course, and it did, at 8am this morning, well im pretty sure it did.Went to loo and heard a very loud plop, looked down and sorry girls for the next bit but had to examine it, to put my mind at ease.My husband was shocked when i told him i put my hand down the loo to examine something that just plopped out of me.I didn't lift it out as got a bit of a shock when i touched it, it was heavier than i imagined,but just like a little fetus,the night before i was in terrible terrible pain for several hours, tried takin painkillers but did nothing as pain was so severe..like being in labour. Sorry if theres too much detail but its just to let others know incase they would like nature to take its course.
That was over 2 weeks i waited,went last wed to hosp they said nothing had changed, but come wed night started bleeding very light until sund when i had gone for a bath there were clots of blood everywhere, pain just got worse as night went on, and bleeding got heavier, early on mon morn went to loo, didnt even get to pee when i heard a loud plop, looked down and there it was, or at least im pretty sure it was, wont know till wed till i go to hosp.
Letting nature take its course was the best option for me and i wouldnt have had it any other way, but i do understand we are all different, go with what your heart is teling you, that way gave me time to grieve, and now i feel 100 times better, this wont be the case for others though!
If you do decide to let nature take its course, please, please please have painkillers ready, thats the only thing i would change if i was to turn back the clock,the pain is very severe, ask your doc for a prescription, i got mines this morning just incase! LOL I dont know if theres anyore pain to come but im ready with my co-codomol just incase!
Drink plenty of boiled water and bottled water, i only started drinking loads of fluid on the sunday, it may speed things up for you.
I wish you all the very best in your futures
Lynne xox
Jossie i ordered that book from Amazon, so im looking forward to reading that when it arrives!

Sorry girls about the 2 posts, i checked the first one and it hadn't appeared so went on to write the other and both are there now...Sorry!!
Lynne

Hi LynneClynne
I know what you mean about letting nature take its cours, that's what I did first time round for the exact same reasons as you (to grieve etc, also in my own mind to make sure that there wasn't any hope!) I have to say that I found passing the baby the most taumatic part, certainly something that will stay with me, but a necessary mental part for me. Unfortunately nature wasn't so kind second time round, things went wrong so I needed intervention. I also agree that different people need to handle this in different ways, some people want an ERPC so that it is dealt with swiftly.
On a positive not for me, my doctor did my referral mega quick, it was faxed to the private doctor yesterday, his secretary phoned me tonight and I've got an appt for next Monday evening, she even apologised that it couldn't be sooner!!
So at least the tests will hopefully be starting soon (I'm trying not to get my hopes up too much, but this will be my chance to make an informed decision about what to do next). My friend said her tests took 3 months to do, so I know that much at least.
LynneClynne, at least you can start to move forward a bit from now on-hope the book helps
Jossie
PS sorry this is so long!!

hi everyone ,my god some of your experiences are awful ! i have had 8 m/c 6 of which i had d&c done (i always op for that as i just need to get it over and done with and get wotever was in my body out,as i new it was no longer a growing baby)the other 2 just gradually broke away slowly, as is this time.i am so glad i haven,t had to experience actually passing the baby,although thankfully i only ever get to 7/8 eks couldnt face getting any further and loosing it.best wishes for the future to you all !

Oh Jossie, my fingers are crossed for you for Monday and for the future!I am just back from the hospital and everything has gone, not even one clot left over so iam pleased at that, if i were to to it all again i wouldnt change a thing, except have the pain killers ready. LOL
I recieved the book yesterday and now on the last chapter, it was very helpfull, thanks for that! Well take care and good luck!
Lynne

Cany girl, i do understand with you wanting to get it over and done with, having spoke with a few of my friends they all said the same to me, however i was the opposite, i refused to let any doc take out my baby even if there was no longer a heart beat, different if it was causing complications to myself,i kept myself going by saying its my baby and it will come out when its ready to come out, that was my worse nightmare having a doc take it out from me,i was at the doc toay, she was saying this has been going on for some time now lynne do u not want to consider ur options, maybe going for d&c, i told her no, under no circumstances would i be goin for that unless its life threaten to me, again this all comes down to us all being so different and all having different needs and different opinions, we must go with what feels right for us, not for our husbands, friends or anyone else!Take care
Lynne