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Miscarriage/pregnancy loss

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Original poster

Missed miscarriage - advice needed please

345 replies

strawberry · 27/05/2004 18:24

I have just found out from a scan that I have a missed miscarriage (ie. no bleeding but fetus not growing and no heart beat). The doctor recommends I have surgery (ERCP) rather than wait for nature to take its course. Does anyone have any advice/experience of this? Please help -I am gutted and don't know what to do. Thanks

OP posts:
lynneclynne · 20/09/2006 21:49

Josie, thanks for that! I'm so sorry about ur experience with ur friends son, this is so heartbreaking,ive still to see our friend who is pregnant,we usually go to their restaurant at weekends but i just cant handle that at the moment, infact i dont even know when i will. Im glad u have managed to speak with ur friend, that couldnt have been easy! We have decided we are going to try again after my first period, ive been told thats between 4 and 6 weeks after the mc, so we'll just have to wait for that.Myself and dh are going away for a long weekend with our friends, me to Blackpool and dh to Dublin so maybe this is a break well deserved for both! I hope things r going well with the hospital and ur tests.Take care Josie!
Lynne xxx

scootermum · 21/09/2006 11:03

Thats the thing about having a m/c.There is always someone you know who is pregnant at the same time.With me it was my SIL who broke the news at a family party about 2 weeks after my m/c.I had to stand in the middle of all these really happy people and try not to cry.She knew as well so I thought she would have given me a warning.
Its difficult I suppose because when you get pg you automatically want to tell everyone-I suppose some people dont think about the effect it has on other people.No ones fault I guess, just a horrid situation.
Thinking about you all...

edie123 · 21/09/2006 11:12

Oh my god! Can't believe your SIL! Sorry if I sound harsh but I think that is a bit insensitive. Poor you, hope you are ok xx xx

scootermum · 21/09/2006 11:53

Thanks edie-it was ages ago and have since had dd which is the best comfort.But not that keen on SIL to be honest still...Try to avoid where pss as she does make my blood boil a bit.But then she pretty much did before anyway..

edie123 · 22/09/2006 09:08

I think that's really harsh. Glad you have dd now, I have had a missed mc and now op is over we will be ttc again soon. Im nervous about it but also excited. Feel more relaxed than first time round but I know that won't last long!

StrangeTown · 24/09/2006 23:26

Hello All,

This is my first post, been lurking for a few days. I had a missed miscarriage last week at 12 weeks followed by an ERPC. Have had a lot of pain since and been back in hospital for a day whilst they did some more test for infections. Am thinking of going back to GP as the antibiotics so far don't seem to have sorted things out. Emotionally I have felt OK so far, but am really down today. I feel like people expect me to have forgotten about it by now, but things seem harder, not easier!

Just wanted to have a little moan and moment of feeling sorry for myself. Thx!

edie123 · 25/09/2006 16:55

Sorry you have gone through this strangetown. It's horrible. Unfortunately people do expect you to get on with things easily...dunno why. However I found that for the first few days I was pretty upset, then ok for a week or so but yesterday was hell and I felt like I was going throiugh it all over again so it is normal to be up and down! At least no-one on here expects you to be over it...ever xx xx

StrangeTown · 26/09/2006 09:14

Thanks Edie,

I'm so glad you are looking forward to ttc again. I think I'll wait a bit - was thinking maybe after Christmas. It's been really useful looking at some other chats on this.

Thanks

Jossie · 26/09/2006 21:57

Hiya Strangetown
Hope you're doing ok
J

buktus · 26/09/2006 22:09

i had the same experience 6 years ago, i had no bleeding just felt that something was wrong so went for a scan and the baby had stopped growing three weeks previous, i had the same proceedure done and have gone on to have three lovely healthy children with no conception problems at all, hope this helps in some way, the waiting time from now until you go in to hospital is so empty and lost hope everything works out ok for you

Ewingtara · 27/09/2006 05:52

I didnt know I was pregnant until Sunday when the M/C happened. Its all so much to take in. Im very upset but feel stupid because I didnt even know I was pregnant. How do I miss something that I did not know was there?!!!!

edie123 · 27/09/2006 16:28

How are you Jossie and Lynne?? xxxxxxxxxx

lynneclynne · 27/09/2006 19:29

Edie, im fine thanx, how have u been? I hope u are well too Josie!
I've been okay over the last couple of days, but then i've been away for a break so this week will tell, its dh birthday at weekend and he wants to go to our friends restaurant but his friends wife is pregnant and i dont feel as if im ready for that yet..know it has to be done sooner than later but i could cry just thinking about it,we have been talking about trying for another baby, i feel excited, yet so scared.
I hope you are both well, take care
Lynne xxx

Jossie · 27/09/2006 21:11

Hi Edie
Not too bad at the moment, but feeling broody, but know we shoudn't TTC until after the test results (Early December) as otherwise it's a waste of time having them done. Just had another lot of blood tests (10 phials of blood taken!), the next lot are in 6 weeks time, then after that its the appt with the consultant to se if anything has shown up.
Having more good days than bad, so that's a good sign.
How are you doing? Hope you're feeling ok
J

Jossie · 27/09/2006 21:15

Lynne Clynne
Good to hear that the break helped.
I know it will be difficult to see your friend, but it will probably be a relief when you have done as the thought of it is hanging over your head at the moment. I was only able to deal with it by asking the minimum of questions about my friend, just for politeness sake, but detaching myself from it and changing the subject soon after.
I keep thinking-I would have been... weeks pregnant by now and imagining what would have been.
Keep in touch and let us know how it goes at the weekend.
Remember we're all here for you
J

lynneclynne · 27/09/2006 21:56

Hi Josie, it was nice to hear from u, i hope everything goes well with ur tests. I have asked dh to give our friends a call and explain about the mc over the phone, rather than be put on the spot come sat night! I dont want her to be saying things like wheres ur bump or anything along that line. This is terrible, as i never behave like this! I'm always very open and honest and say what i have to say...just not in this case though!I am so dredding the weekend, but dont want to let dh down on his birthday! I explained how i felt today to dh, but i think he just wants to get it over with so we can move on,instead of avoiding people! Like im doing!
Take care Josie!
Lynne xxx

lynneclynne · 27/09/2006 22:01

Ewingtara, i was sorry to hear ur bad news, i hope u are ok.
Take care
Lynne

edie123 · 28/09/2006 09:48

Lynne

God I know what you mean...I have found other people's pregnancies the hardest part in all this! My best friend at work is pg and although everyone has been fab with me, they still have to get all excited about her which really f*@ks me off! Even though it shouldn't! I can't show her any interest whatsoever! Good luck, it will be hard but it's something you unfortunately have to do xx

Jossie

Glad you are having more good days...must be incredibily frustrating having to wait to ttc but yes it's positive that you are having stuff done, that sounds like a lot of blood! Good luck xx

lynneclynne · 28/09/2006 19:58

I know Edie!! This is awful!! I never usually have a bad bone in my body, and just feel so jealous towards friends and family who are pregnant, but am sure our day will come soon!
Take care!
Lynne xxx

Jossie · 28/09/2006 21:25

Edie & Lynneclynne
I think it's understandable that we all feel like this about other people-its a mixture of envy and grief.
Lynneclynne-its good that your DH is telling them over the phone it will save a lot of difficulty.
Hope you are both ok
J

lynneclynne · 29/09/2006 20:02

Ladies, just wanted to ask if any of u knew anything about taken asprin will ttc after mc??
I'd be greatful for any info.
Thanks
Lynne

Jossie · 30/09/2006 00:16

Sorry don't know anything, only what was in bk re aspirin when pg if blood clotting disorder.
Why what have you heard?
J

lynneclynne · 30/09/2006 12:56

Josie, heard that if u have had mc then next time u should take 175mg asprin whilst ttc, but then im wondreing if it is only if u have blood clot disorder?????
mmmmm... will need to look into this one.
How r u keeping josie?
well tonights the night and im s###### myself, im sure it will be ok, although the girl thats pregnant is such a lovely person but just doesnt know when to shut up, and thats what worries me, incase she goes on and on about mc.
Well josie, hope all is going well with u and dh, have a nice weekend!

Edie, how are things with yourself??
Hope everythings going well!
Lynne xxx

Jossie · 30/09/2006 22:13

Hope it went okLynne
J

edie123 · 01/10/2006 16:36

Hi Lynne and Jossie

Hope the meal went ok Lynne. Tell us all about it. I stopped bleeding for two days (tmi coming up so be warned!) and so we BD'd. However today I have a watery blood so dunno if it is starting again or what the hell is going on. I have AF pains too. Really pissed off as wanted to get on with ttc and felt so + about it. I keep worrying that I may have infection although feel fine health wise. xx