Recurrent Miscarriage Support Thread 26 - tests, treatment and trying again

[bythesea82]

Tea, hugs, a wealth of collective knowledge and lots of hand holding as we try again. This thread moves like lightning so hold on to your hats!
Previous thread here

Welcome gemma and sorry to hear what you've been through. Have you had all the NHS tests? Did they reveal anything?

I hope it's ok to do a bit of a rant, I am struggling today. My OH is (like you brummie) totally snowed under with work at the moment, and is very preoccupied and not himself. It feels like we haven't laughed together for ages. I am looking down the barrel of the summer holidays which usually feels great but this year feels full of uncertainty. I feel like I can't plan anything because I might be pregnant, having weekly scans, having another miscarriage... OH will be preoccupied (he is doing a research dissertation) so I am also worried about feeling lonely. We usually have the summer off together. I am just so tired of the trying and the not knowing and the not drinking and just all of it. And then I'm second guessing and thinking "is this PMT? Is this early pregnancy emotions?" and I just want to bloody know. I am so envious of everyone with their easy pregnancies and their children and their holidays, and I'm so scared of even thinking of going away anywhere after miscarrying the second time after thinking "it'll be fine to go away". Oh I just feel miserable and disheartened and sad and grey.

And that is my rant. Sorry.

barking it's amazing that your OH raised that much, and amazing that he did an Iron Man.

onestep glad you have a resolution but so sorry you've had another loss. It sounds as though implantation tried to happen but either was too late or too weak. I had the same with MC 2 where (I assume) a little bit of tissue was producing hcg and just hung around until next AF was due and then I tested negative once it was over.

cloud congrats darling on getting into your second tri. Hand holding for your 12 week scan and hoping all your bloods are perfect and you sail through the rest xx

barking your DP is amazing completing an Ironman. My DP couldn't run to the end of the road let alone 26 miles on top of cycling etc. absolutely amazing and a great total for his charity.

gemma so sorry you are here. I assume you have had RMC testing done and they have ruled out clotting conditions? It's interesting that your losers tend to happen around the time the placenta starts taking over, that can be indicative of potential clotting issues.

I have had a bit of an epiphany this morning as to why that scan might have been rather gloomy. I was asked to come in after we did those HCG bloods that showed 12000 at just over 4 weeks. Those results are more consistent with a pregnancy of 6 weeks plus, so I wonder if they were expecting one thing and got another. Plus she was all ready to do a transabdominal scan and I've never know anything other than a transvaginal scan at 5 weeks pregnant. So I have a hit feeling they think I'm wrong about dates and the baby is showing too small.

*gut

Flen massive massive hugs to you and you rant away. I know exactly how you feel.

It sounds awful saying this but in some ways in a parallel world I am slightly relieved I am not having a baby on 7th August. I hate saying it but DP's venue is opening in August - I'm probably going to need a c section due to previous issues.

There is no way on this earth DP could've taken 2 weeks paternity leave when the venue is due to open - imagine having to make that decision. So there would've been good chance that I'd have been flying solo straight after giving birth. And yes we would've coped but what a horrendous position to be in.

But I feel lonely as well and I'm missing DTD as well (need to wait until 14 wks) but we are both so exhausted we get in to bed and don't even cuddle and chat anymore. It's straight to sleep and
we've never been like that.

So big hugs to you, it's shit but I have to remind myself - and you do - that's it's not forever xx

brummie and cloud, handholding for upcoming scans, bloods, and danger zones.

flen please rant. That is what we are for. Totally understandable that you are thoroughly fed up with the whole thing. It's a draining, insanity provoking process. Things with dh will change back to normal again soon I am sure, but difficult whilst he is in it. I say go ahead and plan some things to look forward to - it's not going to negatively affect anything, and plans can always be changed (depending what you plan!)

sebs sorry that sonographer's reaction is still confusing, its so hard to say what was going through her mind.

Right will someone tell me I am doing the right thing here.. after a bowel movement (sorry if tmi but i think it's relevant) I have had more pink cm. And possibly some greenish cm. I think that's enough now so have managed to get a scan booked tomorrow - my next one is meant to be 29th but I don't think I can do that long now) It will be in work time. Again, and I feel guilty. I am being ridiculous, right? So many appointments and scans in work time...but the stress of pink cm is not good. Plus green may mean they can swab for infection. I feel wrong for getting an earlier scan somehow. Grr neuroticism drives me nuts. Off to tell boss..sigh..

Sasha I'm not really, I guess, the right person to answer this as this mc has happened 1st mth of taking cyclogest, but it pushed my (what I though was my period) back by 3 days. I think, if it was me, I would test on Sunday. But again, somebody else on here will be better placed to answer your question.

Bootles I think you are doing exactly the right thing, go and get seen pronto. I'm done with the guilt feeling now, everyone and everything can go fly when this is concerned.

Don't feel guilty about getting an earlier scan bootles. I'm guessing the worry is probably making your head mince anyway, so surely better to get the scan and give yourself some peace of mind then you'll hopefully be more focused.

flen, big hugs. This process is totally exhausting and just gets you down. Not surprising you just want to get past this bit. I feel exactly the same and in fact have been wondering if I'll know when it's time to give up, and how I'll know that. Dh and I spoke about it and i basically just spent the whole convo crying. He's worried it's taking too much out of me and maybe he's right. I'm not ready to give up yet but i wish I knew if it would eventually work out or not. This bit would be so much easier to cope with then! I would agree that you should try and plan something anyway. Either you will have a great hols and not be missing out, or you will invoke sods law and have to cancel/alter plans (for the best reason possible). I hope you find something you can both do together if your dh gets a chance for a break

sasha, the Coventry lot say take prog from 7dpo for 7 days then test. So test on morning of 14dpo and If bfn stop or obv carry on if bfp. The previous cycle i actually stopped after 12dpo as i just knew i wasn't pg and normally test positive by then, but then you never know. brummie got bfp after stopping prog i think. My af comes properly 2 to 5 days after stopping (although i spot almost straight away), so it will lengthen your LP a bit probably

onestep sorry to hear that it was another MC but glad that the waiting and uncertainty is over.
mrsC congratulations, wishing you all the very best for this one....
minnie glad it was good news, hope for no more scares for you.
tanny glad you're feeling a little better
barking amazing effort from you DH on the Ironman and the fundraising, good for him and good for you for supporting him! Best wishes to your dad.
gemma welcome and so sorry for what you have been through/are going to through again. I hope you find some support here and advice to help with your next decision.

brummie positive thoughts for the scary week this week, it's a horrible place when every minute is years but remember, this is a new pregnancy with new support in place.
cloud great news on getting to 13 weeks, hope scan and bloods are fine.
flen just hugs, lots of them. I hope this is your month.
bootles hope the scan is ok, don't feel guilty about having a scan/missing work, your well being is important.

March Can I ask, how long is your cycle length then?

Coventry told me to specifically take from Day21 of cycle to Day 28. I have 28 day cycle.

My cycle used to be 32 to 38 days onestep, with ov on 19 to 24, but acupuncture is bringing it forward, so as i always know when ov is and it was late/changing, he said to take it from 7dpo. I think for people with regular normal length cycles he normally just says it by cd rather than dpo as it's easier. Cd21 to cd28 should be the same as 7dpo to 14dpo with a normal cycle

Welcome chrystley and gemma, I'm so sorry for your losses

bootles sorry the pink cm has returned. Fingers crossed your scan tomorrow shows everything is fine and it is unrelated to baby.

Hugs flen, sorry you're feeling down. I agree with making plans, I think it gives you a little bit of control back. Plus it may also invoke Sod's law. How many dpo are you? I really hope this is your month.
Also as you have been avoiding drink, maybe you could plan a lovely night out with dp to celebrate him finishing his dissertation and plan to get really pissed or whatever takes your fancy, but something which isn't ttc friendly.

Afm, I'm seeing my GP at 4.40 to ask for my meds. I'm really anxious he won't prescribe them. I'm 4+1 today so really want to start the steroids today and get booked in for a location scan soon.

Ok thanks March

Good Luck BumbleBee

I am having a paranoid day today. Tomorrow is my 12wk dating scan but that's the day when I found I'd had my 1st mmc last July. I'm just bricking it about being in 'that' scan room again...
I also am cross with myself for thinking about new furniture and moving bedrooms around in preparation, and I know I won't embrace this pregnancy with all encompassing excitement, which makes me feel sad although realistic I guess...
I also went to treat myself with some nice foot cream for my poor old feet today, and it had lavender oil, arnica and Shea butter in it. It said not to use during or after pregnancy. I feel skeptical that it could cause miscarriage... Is that naive of me? I thought natural products were ok to use?
Hugs to you all on your different journeys xx

sasha I agree about the progesterone, take it until 14 DPO to give yourself maximum chance for a BFP to register.
onestep if you ovulate day 12 I would start it day 19 and test day 26, though you could always keep taking it until day 28 and retest. I don't think you can 'count backwards' with your HCG, it doesn't precisely double and if you ovulate early then would need to also implant and give BFP early to be viable. I'm so sorry your MC was confirmed and that you had all the additional stress over the weekend.

Three cheers for mr barking
Good luck tomorrow bootles and erica
bumblebee hope the GP gets you sorted.

gemma welcome and another pompom wave for Coventry. my losses followed the same pattern as yours (4MC all at 9-10 weeks) and I turned out to have v high NK cells. The placenta doesn't form properly then when it should be taking over it all goes wrong....

flen sorry you are feeling down. This, all of it, is really shit and it's amazing that most of the time we do find the courage to pick ourselves up, research our options, put ourselves back in the firing line. You are allowed to have days where it just gets on top of you.

sebs you may have hit the nail on the head there. There is a big range of normal for HCG, and what was seen was consistent with how far along you know you should be, so I would not worry whether what was seen tallies with HCG did they look for a twin?

My GP gave me the meds, yeyy! I'm so relieved I was expecting there to be a problem as it's been a pain to get them. He said he couldn't refer me for a scan though (unless there's pain/bleeding) but the midwife would sort it. Grrrr, hadn't he ever heard of fibbing!!

Good luck for your scan tomorrow Erica.

25th July for a Bucks ladies meet up works for me too, happy to go wherever. Could do pub lunch then Rumsays for dessert... might just have outed my greedy side there!

flen sorry that you are feeling down at the moment. This is such a long and gruelling process that it is inevitable that there are down days. Look after yourself and do whatever you need to to make things easier. That usually involves cake for me!

erica good luck for your scan. I'm sure it will be absolutely fine but totally understandable that you feel apprehensive.

Thanks ladies, very me me post sorry! X

Good luck for the scan tomorrow erica. Everything crossed for you

Great news bumble!!! So relieved you've got the meds sorted. When are you planning to get the location scan for?

Glad you've got the meds bumble x

Welcome Gemma - definitly found the right place with us, hope thread is as supportive fro you as it's been for me. Xx

baking funnily enough re. the twins thing, the tarot reader who predicted this pregnancy after I saw her post my last MC, also saw twins. I do think it's a tiny bit weird that the sonographer saw an empty sac and then 30 seconds later saw a sac with a baby and a heartbeat. I thought at the time that was a weird thing to say but i think if she'd seen two sacs she would have told me she had seen two sacs, one empty, so i'm going to continue to be skeptical about psychics and secretly hope she is right as she saw this one working!

Erica i loathe scans with a passion. I used to get bad panic attacks in my twenties and i'm actually quite scared having frequent scans could set them off for me again. I am that terrified of the bad news. I totally get it and we are all here for you darling, mass hand hold for tomorrow.

Thought I'd suggest a couple of meet up venues. For pub venues...
The Red Lion in Wendover.
The Broadleys in Aylesbury.
Five Bells in Weston Turnville.
The Bell in Aston Clinton.
Think Brummie did you mention The Bugle Horn near Hartwell. I've only been there once.
If you have any more suggestions please shout. Xx

BumbleBee glad you got your meds! X