Recurrent Miscarriage Support Thread 25 - tests, treatment and trying again

[Marchgirl]

Tea, hugs, a wealth of collective knowledge and lots of hand holding as we try again. This thread moves like lightning so hold on to your hats!
Previous thread here

Lovely tanny. I'm so glad you're going to see the doctor. I had wondered if you might be suffering from pnd and its really perfectly understandable after all that you've been through. MC is, after all, the gift that keeps on giving.
Please don't feel like you can't speak of it on here . I think it's very important for us to be aware of all the challenges we might face, even after we give birth, because we are all scarred by what we've been through. Please don't ever feel like a failure either. To me, and lots of us on here, you are a total fricking hero, and an incredible inspiration. You have been so unbelievably supportive even whilst going through such difficult times yourself. So please don't feel you can't speak. We are here for you like you were and still are for us. Does your dh know? I really hope you can work through this with him. But first thing is to get yourself better. Glad you have taken the first step. Stay in touch x

Congratulation Cat & welcome to the work Louis!

Bless you Tanny, you are absolutely not a failure and admiring you have a problem, is a very brave action. Hope the doctor is able to give you the right support .

I've been very open about my mcs in terms of telling work colleagues and close friends and family members. It's a very personal choice but for me, it's helped to talk about it x

Sorry world, not work! No guess I'm at work....

Hugs to you Tanny.

Just an update, just had my results and they are really low…

HCG 583 Progesterone 24

In again at JR EPAU at 9am tomorrow for repeat bloods.
Not suffering any pain or bleeding at the moment, preparing myself for the worst.

Cat congratulations, welcome little Louis! Wonderful news. You did it!!! Take it gently and hope you can get the whole cat family snuggled up and purring.

tanny you are NOT a failure! You are a brave, strong, incredible woman who has been through so much these last year's. No wonde head and heart and soul are tired. Get support, stay in touch please, we're all here. Hand holding is not just for scans.

onestep let's see what the next hcg result is, there are lots of scenarios. Thinking of you. Oh and watch out for traffic and parking on Friday morning - I've got stuck with both before now when I've had JR appointments on Friday!

Thanks MrsC, it's tomorrow, Thursday, that I'm going back in, so hopefully avoid that traffic, but thanks for the heads up. xx

Tanny you poor thing. A visit the GP is a good idea, and you must not feel like a failure because you have PND. PND is chemicals and hormones, it is not who you are and it is not your fault. We all need a bit of help to get back on track sometimes. Please please talk about it on here of it helps.

one step I'm sorry the tests results were not more promising. I do know how hard all of this is and I am thinking of you and hoping for a quick resolution for you. One thing I can say is, if it is ectopic, I went on to have my lovely DD after mine. It will not be the end of the journey, just a hill to get over.

Brummie your occ health person sounds fab. When is your next scan?

So, I am feeling kind of down today. I've been thinking a bit about everything we've been through with the baby stuff, and to be honest it brought me up short to realise (when I looked back on old threads for info) that my first ectopic was over 7 years ago, and here I am, still not finished. I am not sure wheter I am a glutton for punishment or what. I do know how lucky DH and I are. Given my age (40 in a few weeks) I probably should accept reality and stop dreaming about something that looks increasingly out of reach. The thing is, I can see my baby, I can feel her (in my mind its another girl - which is odd given that the last MC was a boy) in my arms, so it is very hard to let go. Sorry, didn't mean to go on, but am feeling stupidly sad. I think it is probably PMS. And my back is killing me, and I don't know whether that's period related or too much rowing with poor technique. Ok, ignore me, I am just feeling sorry for myself now

Someone asked about being open about MCs? I have a couple of work colleagues who know. The whole world knows about my ectopics, but otherwise have kept the MCs to myself. Not because i don't want to offend people by talking about it, but because I don't want people to judge me for wanting more kids, and at my age too. Also my career is hotting up and that might just go away if people know I might still reproduce. But if anyone asked, I would talk.

Oh - one good thing about looking through those old threads? It remined me of what good friends I made. And even though we have all moved on from our old ttc thread I am still in rl contact with a number of my old thread buddies. That bit makes me

Sorry onestep, total brain melt!

On telling people, only my boss at work knows. I lead a big team and couldn't handle the constant speculation on when/if I might fall pg again. We don't hide it from friends or family, but don't tend to bring it up either unless natural opportunities arise. Generally people have been great when we have told them though.

This tww is driving me insane. I'm turning proper crZy. Someone hand me a grip (to steal someone's else's brilliant phrase)!!

Just about to go into see my acupuncturist but wanted to give Tanny a huge hug and say I'm so sorry you feel like your relationship is in turmoil

We always think of our babies cermenting a relationship but forget all the extra pressure that comes with it. Plus your hormones are probably all over the place after the medications and anxiety. Really hope your GP is supportive and I agree this thread supports everyone from the before the during and the after. Lots of love to you xxx

No worries MrsC think we are all wishing the week away and wishing it was Friday!!

Tanny, until you've done something of Baby P's mum/Jimmy Savile/Saddam Hussein proportions don't you dare think of yourself as a failure!! They're the only people I'd call failures, everything else is just human beings doing the best they can in a complex and unpredictable world, with equally complex and unpredictable bodies!
PND is certainly not failure and I bet you're judging yourself far more harshly than you would anyone else.
I really struggled after both my boys were born, the first particularly. And think I've said before, there were times I hated DH and wanted to run away. And every other mum I met told me how her baby slept through the night and fed properly and didn't cry for hours every evening. (I now know at least some of them were probably fibbing...)
I should have asked for help but I never did, you've done the right thing by making a doc's appointment.

Didn't mean that to sound harsh by the way, was trying to say I bet you're doing a fab job with those three boys and DH Tanny, but the GP can help you to see that you are too.

Hi sasha my due date from my first miscarriage is also soon - 4 July. We have a family event that day so I'm praying there'll be no pregnancy announcements that day. We'd hoped we might be announcing our latest loss around them too.

I have a nearly-3 year old, and know exactly what you mean about summer and siblings. I have 3 friends due their second between July and September and the majority of the others already have their second. Two under 2 (or as near as dammit) is de rigueur where I am, aside from those who definitely wanted a closer to 3 years age gap...and are getting their wish granted. Yes, I'm bitter!

Yeay cat! So thrilled for you. You have had the most awful journey but it's over and baby Louis is here! Enjoy him. Xxxxxxxx

Tanny lovely. Please don't ever feel like a failure. You're a massive success, you have overcome so many challenges and been through so much. Hugs and more hugs. Please keep talking and well done on seeing the gp. Hope they help. Xxxxxx

Tanny sorry you're dealing with PND. I really feared I'd have it with DS after my infertility-related depression, difficult labour and incredible breastfeeding problems. All these things are risk factors, and no wonder, just like with miscarriage. Take care and ask for help.

Just to say, I am creating a new thread....

You can find it here

or in case that didn't work:
www.mumsnet.com/Talk/miscarriage/2404797-Recurrent-Miscarriage-Support-Thread-26-tests-treatment-and-trying-again

but I also wanted to say
tanny I think you are getting the picture but you are an inspiration to us all and so strong. I hope your GP is helpful, we are all rooting for you. No feelings of failure, absolutely none allowed, you are doing great and good for you for being willing to ask for some help

Ok. I will add the updated stays when it's done

Thanks march should be there now....

Finishing

Finished (see above for link)