Recurrent Miscarriage Support Thread 25 - tests, treatment and trying again

[Marchgirl]

Tea, hugs, a wealth of collective knowledge and lots of hand holding as we try again. This thread moves like lightning so hold on to your hats!
Previous thread here

Right, propper catch-up.

Onestep** your situation is so bizarre, but i hope it's a sticky bean for you!

Diddily** yay on the 13 week scan, you've cracked it!

Littlebear** glad you disn't compromise and went for a dress that makes your heart sing!

Pequit** - welcome! X

Barking** that cake sounds bloody lovely! Have you ever had her guinness one? Omg - amazing! I'm sorry your dad has another complication . Nobody is ever going to love me as my dad does, and when i think of him weak i can't stand it - you are often in my thoughts just now. Xxx

Very interested in the ibs and excema link to nk cells. I have ibs flare-ups when stress and dairy mix - not good! Actually, i've been funny with milk since a baby. I have horrible contact dermatitus from metal. I wonder if this is an indication of what a biopsy at coventry would tell me. Of course i am a teacher so stress and all the rest of it is just the way it is. (Don't worry, the tourettes is only inside my head, in real life i'm a fairly articulate, if a bit arsey English language and literature teacher!)

cat so exciting! You've had such a tough journey and this is it!! Agree to rest up and try acupressure on your feet, I googled it when I was a week over and the next day I started. Probably nothing to do with it but you never know! Oh so exciting- can't wait to hear your news!

march I really wish I could give you a hug. Such a horrible time and I'm not surprised you had a meltdown. (I cried on everyone for the first few days last time even when I read texts!) And I'm totally your twin with magpies. I get really stressed when I see one which I do all the bloody time! Never fecking see two of the buggers though. My Dh thinks I'm mental, he reckons he never sees them!

onestep glad you were looked after so well but what a total mindfk. Hoping everything gets sorted and its a little sticky bean.

freckle sorry you're no closer to any answers. Being normal seems such a useless thing in rmc when you just want a reason. And urgh to the tiredness- end of term can't come quickly enough!

Still no af here but cramping all day. I wish it would just arrive and then the next cycle can get going. worrying that the bfn's are good eggs disappearing which we've missed and then only shitty ones will be left! Still a bfn means I can go on the spa day that's planned with my friends for a week on Sunday (cancelled when I was pg with mc3!)

So, my consultant at leeds is sooo lovely - Proff Walker. He's a bit like the bfg, but very twinkly. He's sooo patient and walm, it would be hard not to like him. I have no science knowledge and he's really good at putting stuff i ask about into lay-man's terms. I asked a load of questions and he went through it all and as i've been doing a bit of research (thanks to you lot) and i was very chuffed that i could finish a few of his sentences - yes, i do have a teeny tiny shine for him - like a favourite uncle! But i've had all the nhs tests now and so i said "well, i won't see you again until i get pregnant and he jokingly said "will you miss me?" Ha! But we talked through progesterone v's hcg injections when pregnant, and he did manage to convince me about it, whilst giving me a prescription for three monrhs worth of progesterone to take from. 7 days post ov.

Aw freckle he sounds lovely. Dr S is not quite so warm (though she was nicer the second time) a bit more business like but she seemed to relax a bit once she knew I knew a bit about the research. Again thanks to you ladies! Glad you've got you're prog sorted. She was really good about agreeing to the Cov protocol.

your not you're (don't want to upset an English teacher!)

Anybody read "the egg comes first" and managed to eliminate plastic from life? What the fuck does she expect us to put our packet lunches of organic chicken, broccoli and kale into, leather fucking pouches?! I was catatonic this morning with tiredness and desperately trying not to have a coffee someone brought me one because i looked like i needed one so badly! I am having one of those hideous periods, i MUST be anemic by now. I went through 4 super-plus tampons and 2 towels in 6 hours. If i'm ever lucky enough to have another baby i swear i'm getting the coil fitted after. Periods post ds are a bloodbath!

That book all sounds a bit OTT freckle. Stuff like that stresses
me out!

Ouch on the period front too.

I was at the hospital today. Came away with antibiotics and a scan appt for 2 weeks time. There's some Tissue still to come out. They offered me medical management but it seemed a bit sledgehammer for now. I've had enough pain as it is. Imagine hoping it'll complete naturally asap.

We buried our baby today, in a lovely pot in the garden. I put the fetus, still in its sac, into a tiny marble trinket box, then super-glued it shut and put the box at the bottom of the pot. I also took time to study it all and tell the baby how sorry we were, how happy it had made us in the few weeks we knew about it etc. I also took some photos. Sounds morbid, DH thought it was, but it helped me. I couldn't believe how intricate and developed it was, despite its size being only a few cm long. Perfect, but still gone. I just hope the plant lasts.

Good luck for the imminent birth Cat!

That sounds lovely may. And I don't think its morbid, he or she was your baby and you loved it very much (and always will). xxx

Oh inamay that made me all teary. I can totally understand you wanting to commemorate your lost baby in that way and don't think it sounds morbid at all.

My first two losses were just blood loss but I really regret not doing something for the third (was 11 weeks gestation and disabled). I think I was so angry with the loss I just didn't give a shit about anything and wanted to burn everything to the ground. Later when I learned it was a little girl and had Downs I just felt really terrible that is acted so unkindly. I'll have to live with myself and hope she is in a better place now and forgives me.

My discharge seems to have settled down this afternoon/evening. I feel drier so I'm calmer, I hate that feeling of 'flow' when you're pregnant and your convinced your bleeding all the time. I'm just hoping I get to Friday without anything dramatic happening. That's my goal right now.

That sounds lovely May

On my first due date I lit a candle, had a glass of wine and promised my babies that their loss wouldn't be in vain and that I would keep going and fight to create our little family.

Big hugs

Freckle eliminating plastics does seem a bit nuts when everything you buy comes wrapped in it! But I have to confess to switching my kids to metal water bottles and lunchboxes! DH and I will just have to cope with the chemicals... Sympathy on the period front. Ow.

one step i hope you're ok. I'm sorry it wasn't more conclusive although glad they are taking good care of you.

cat Yay! Very exciting. I hope you're either progressing fantastically or having a nice rest (in anticipation of progressing fantastically)

inamay it really doesn't sound morbid to me. One of the reasons I had the erpc both times was because I could not face seeing anything, but at the same time can fully understand why it might help to look. Whatever helps.

I'm cramping like mad too Minnie. Wish my period would just come already. This week long cramp-fest (relieved only by the arrival of my period) is pissing me right off.

sebs glad things might be settling down. Have you got a scan coming up anytime soon?

cheesy congratulations! I laughed at your DH's reaction. Mine once told me the line was so light that, even though he could see it too, he was sure I was not pg. he didn't seem to grasp that the thing is binary.

The start and end of my day were pretty good (Dd's birthday, so she is lovely and happy) but then middle bit went "cramp. Moan. Cramp. Ache. Cramp. Moan." I might go to bed soon and start again tomorrow.

onestep sorry this is proving so confusing and frustrating for you. I really hope there is some clarity soon, big hugs. Sorry you had such an awful experience with the transvaginal scan and your last mc, sounds really quite traumatic. I'm glad they were kind to you today.

tom with a 39 day cycle it must be very hard to determine exactly when O will be, don't be so hard on yourself.

march I once rang my work counselling thing and couldn't get last the first sentence. They said the same to me - to come back when I wasn't in the thick of the emotion. I know I should have counselling, just never got round to it. The progesterone come down can be so dreadful, I'm not sure knowing it makes it any easier. Give yourself time. And the magpie's - I see one and start looking nervously for another one. Crazy, we know.

sebs how are you doing? Any more spotting?

may that sounds lovely, not at all morbid. Made me well up a bit at the thought of you doing it all so calmly. I had medical management and thought I didn't want to see the baby but actually when he passed I really did want to see. I'm glad I did. Can't really remember facial features as was a bit scared to look closely but his little legs were curled up just like a proper little grown baby- just perfectly small. I still picture that sometimes. Sad but gave me a little peace. He's scattered at the local crematorium baby garden as that's what my local hospital do after testing. I keep meaning to go and see it sometime. (Sorry for the overshare there!) big hugs lovely xx

cheesy your post about putting away mc1 scan made me well up too. Lovely. (I think I'm being particularly hormonal today!) x

spartacus sympathy on the cramps. It's crap isn't it. Been going on here for three days and if af arrives when it should based on pre-Cov scratch cycles, it won't be here till sat! Annoying! Hope it arrives for you soon.

may doesn't sound morbid to me. Sounds beautiful.

Thanks for the support.

Came back from Oxford, sat on the sofa, watched Tennis and flaked out for a couple of hours, situation has really hit home.

Lots of love to everyone and all you are going through and coping with. Xx

Sorry sebs cross posts. Hopefriday comes quickly.

may I think that sounds cathartic, and like you needed to do it. I hope it helps in some way to have marked the loss of your baby like this.

sebs don't be hard on yourself about your last loss. Whatever emotions and reactions you use to get you through - are all OK.

freckle AF sounds awful, hope you are testing

barking how is your Dad?

brummie I'm with you on the terror. It's horribly stressful and I am trying not to be stressed...I also feel utterly awful today, and am also very grateful. But I am worried about how bad I would feel without the pred, and whether it means my hcg is too high, and therefore there is a problem. I also worry my symptoms are similar to the pg that ended in tfmr. Can't win. Anyway o e hour at a time..hugs to you

May it sounds lovely to me. Made me well up reading it, and weirdly a bit jealous. I was never able to say goodbye to any but the first mc as they were either high drama or not much there. I strongly believe in the importance of ritual and taking time to do what feels right to you. Well done, and I hope it brings a bit of comfort to you.

Beautiful way to mark your baby may and I don't think it's morbid. It's amazing you did that. Thinking of you and your DH xxx

Lovely rituals. I also have never really had any real remains to bury abut after mc3 I filled the garden with flowers. Some were annnuals but a few have recently re-emerged, which feels nice and symbolic.

Congratulations cheesy.

onestep I hope you get some reassuring news soon.

Big hugs for march and a handhold to sebs.

Wave to the newbies.

Can I ask people who are taking Coq10 is it the ubiquinol or the ubiquinone version? Thought I'd give it a try next month- start throwing everything at my aging eggs! Just not sure which to get. Xx

Just kitting the sack after watch episode 3 of GOT. God I love that program!!

Everything is quiet here, hoping tomorrow might bring me less or no brown stuff. That's the hope anyway!! Scan is 10.30am on Friday. My mum is coming up to look after DS so at least he won't have to see a lady put a dildo up Mummy's lady parts. I think he is traumatised enough watching me give blood samples let alone anything more graphic lol!!

Wish I had just one symptom to give me hope. A tingling nipple or a light feeling of nausea, even my crushing tiredness has gone. It's quite disconcerting but I had no symptoms with DS so an clinging on to that until I know anything else.

Ubiquinol Minnie. I think I used to get it off Amazon. I know it was bloody expensive!!

How are you feeling Cat???

Exciting times! How is DH getting on? Do you reckon you are going to need your Mum to help out with getting to hospital?

Aahhh the February thread gets better.

Peeps are now complaining on the May TTC (when they've got a BFP) that they don't want to be on the Feb thread because it's "too negative"

They were discussing what slings to buy yesterday - how is that negative????

I suspect I'm a big fat reminder of what can go wrong. Plus Charlotte is still having moments and no one really seems to have much empathy with her

I need to hide that sodding thread. They've set up a fb group today which I've decided not to join

Well it looks like the mc is finally on its way, which is a massive relief. Temp drop this morning and lots of cramping. Cd1. Again . I know it won't be more than a heavy period so hoping I'll be ok in work. Came home last night and burst into tears in front of dh and he actually said "what's wrong?". after smashing him in the face with the nearest heavy object I just went and sat in the bedroom and cried for a bit. He did redeem himself later by being more understanding, so I'm trying to take his question as "has something else happened as well", rather than what he actually said. It's a minefield for him when I feel like that and I know he does his best to say the right thing, whilst being terrified of putting his foot in it. He at least recognised this time that this was the hormone crash which would get better in a few days, so that's progress