Please or to access all these features

Miscarriage/pregnancy loss

Find support and share your experiences on our Miscarriage forum. See also legal rights and support after baby loss.

Recurrent miscarriage support, tests, treatments and trying again.

999 replies

Monten · 27/04/2015 10:11

Buckle up, the threads move like lightening! Tea, sympathy, information, support and combined wisdom to guide you through the maze of testing and treatment for recurrent miscarriage. Newbies always most welcome.

Please start with the traditional recap of your stats.

OP posts:
Minnie74 · 08/05/2015 20:56

Thanks all for the kind thoughts for my mum. All done (well half- veins were too thin for both leads but the important one is in) so hopefully onwards and upwards from here. I can get back to only stressing about getting pg now!

*sebs got some boots opks to try alongside the monitor but think i'll get ics next time. I'm hoping my ov hasn't moved to later otherwise my lp will be too short- maybe down to 10 days or less. Love the idea of your previous life!

cheesy sick of the opks already- will try cheapies next time. Good luck with the progesterone!

barking thanks for the positivity (I need a kick up the arse in that respect!) and also the info on the prog. It's made me feel better about using it if I ever get to Cov.

sasha well done on sharing with your colleagues and that they were supportive too. It makes all the difference. I didn't mention my first two but have, possibly, definitely overshared with this last one and everyone has been brilliant.

march seriously wtf is wrong with that woman? Did she totally live for her job before? Very sad that she'd rather be at work than at home, unless of course she's actually struggling with it all and just craves the adult company. Not ideal for everyone else though!

jady great news on the divorce (my dhs dragged on for years) and the earlier scan. Keep the good things rolling!

sun rubbish news for your poor boss- who sounds great- hope a matching donor turns up soon. Good bosses are hard to find.

girlie I need some of your positivity!

brummie your client (and meeting) sound ace. Wine on a lunchtime always makes for a great convo I think!

freckle I'm with you on worrying about the next 5 years for bloody education (and the Nhs) -all the more reason to leave if you can. And I love a bit of swearing- I've had to seriously curb it since ds was born! Although I forgot he was in the car the other day when I was ffsing the driver in front!

Phew I hope I've caught up and sorry if ive missed anyone xx

Minnie74 · 08/05/2015 20:59

monten missed your posted with my enormous catch up. My dp is the same. He cooks so thinks that covers the rest of the life stuff I do. Drives me insane! He would seriously have no clue how to run life if I wasn't here!

SashaKerr · 08/05/2015 22:28

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Brummiegirl15 · 08/05/2015 22:39

Excellent blog Sasha and so bloody spot on.

Just got mardy on AIBU ( I know!!!!!) because someone is complaining about having bump envy because she's only got 2 kids but thinks she might want a 3rd and everyone is pregnant and she's jealous.

Bump envy??? Come back to me when you've lost 3 babies in a year and had 3 fucking general anaesthetics in 8 months. 2 to remove your beautiful darling baby and 1 to shove a camera up there to make sure everything works.

And this whole time you have pregnant women everywhere.

Then come back to me with your bump envy

I need to not read those kind of threads. No good can come of it Angry

Marchgirl · 09/05/2015 06:46

sun, sorry to hear about your boss. How awful. I hope he finds a donor. I went to see my friend with breast cancer yesterday. She's just about to start the second of six cycles of chemo before she has the op. I'm so sad for her. She was trying for another child before she found out about the cancer and had a mc at the same time I had my second. Now she won't be able to have any more because of the type of cancer and her age. It's going to be very difficult for her if/when i have another child. Really puts my struggles into perspective for me

monten, sorry your dh isn't pulling his weight and not appreciating you. Hope he pulls his socks up soon!

minnie, glad the most important bit is sorted for your mum. Hope they are able to finish the rest soon.

Great words sasha, very well put.
I feel i have to say that profs Brosens and quenby don't now believe that the nk cells are attacking the foetus (though that's how i read it from their earlier leaflet), but that the nk cells are an indicator that there is a problem with the immune response of the body. It's a small distinction but potentially important.

brummie, grrr to bump envy, but i think that some people just live in this little bubble where to them, that's actually the worst thing that's happening to them. I would love for that to be the worst concern that any of us had.

barkingtreefrog · 09/05/2015 07:37

Still reeling from the election result yesterday. There are two things that matter to me more than anything. Education and the NHS. Education is fucked Sad . And there's no chance of getting rid of the postcode lottery for fertility treatment Angry . Rich people will get richer still and they'll send their kids to private schools and use private healthcare. Meanwhile they'll meddle and mess up the lives of those who don't have an option Angry .
Anyway, just had to get that off my chest...

brummie bump envy and she's got two kids?! Try no kids, mcs, repeated unsuccessful fertility treatment and trying for a fourth year!!! Angry Angry This is why I stay off mn in general, I just come on here and my infertility threads!!
Your client sounds great, that's exactly how you want people to be.

March I would definitely be having words. Bringing a baby into a working environment is downright unprofessional and a distraction for everyone trying to work, regardless of their situation. I wouldn't be able to handle that at all. A part time lady at our place sometimes pops in to sort stuff out on days when she's not working, and brings her three year old. That kills me. The office is my safe place (other than when pg colleague was around, but she's on maternity now), I can't handle kids in situations where I'm not expecting to have to deal with them.

monten Sorry you had a fight. I'm lucky in that the division of labour in pur house is pretty even, but I'm the one that organises stuff. If I don't, nothing happens. That does wind me up sometimes.

sun sorry about your boss Sad .

Excellent work on getting the scan changed jady

Sasha a great blog post. You forgot Thornbury hospital in Sheffield for the nk cells as well! I'm obviously not bigging it up enough Wink . I have to say I find your blog quite difficult to read and it has to be a good day when I'm feeling strong for me to click on one of your links, just because of the scan picture at the top. It might just be me who finds scan pictures distressing, but thought I'd mention it, hope you don't take that the wrong way.
Well done on telling work. Management know at my work (and about all the ivf etc as obviously I was in and out for appointments etc,) but it's not general knowledge as the majority of the staff are aged 19-24 (and quite young for their age) and I don't think they'd have a clue.

In my world, acupuncture made me feel a little better this week, I've been struggling emotionally recently. The main thing still tearing me up is the financial thing, trying to decide whether to spend money that I had saved for moving house on moving house, or whether we need to keep it for ivf and not move house Sad. And trying not to get Angry about the fact that if I lived elsewhere I might not need to as the NHS would pay Angry .
So I'm throwing myself into exercise as usual! This week I've been running, swimming and cycling, in fact on Wednesday I did all three, as well as to a strength and conditioning class last night. If I can't get pg, and this month I can't even try (and probably next month as well if we're away when the biopsy could be done) I might as well get fit!

Jady77 · 09/05/2015 09:33

Cloud any joy with your telephone calls yesterday?

Sun your boss sounds inspiring. I hope he finds a donor

March your poor friend, that's awful. My heart goes out to her. Really does put things in perspective.

Monten Hope you've made up with DP now.

Brummie you didn't come across as mardy in your post, but it may have put things a bit more in perspective for her.

Barking totally agree on election. I actually feel quite scared of what's to come. Hope you're not overdoing it with the exercise, but sounds like a great way to deal with your emotions, wish I could take a leaf out of your book!

Sorry Sasha, haven't read your blog yet, but will a bit later.

Celebration last night consisted of a mezze takeaway, DP drinking a bottle of champers and catching up on about 4 episodes of Boyce. We know how to party Wink

longestlurkerever · 09/05/2015 10:07

Good news jady! And glad your mum's op went well minnie

Sorry to hear all the sad stories about cancer. Really hoping for full recoveries for good bosses and friends.

Still smarting about the election. Yesterday was my last day at work, which I have been looking forward to forever but felt flat all day. Dd was born amidst riots and I was looking forward to a more optimistic backdrop to this one's birth. Don't think I will forgive those polls!

Marchgirl · 09/05/2015 10:17

Congratulations on starting your mat leave longest. So angry about the election result too. No hope of avoiding the planned 20% paycut for us now. Just hope I'll be through mat leave before it comes in.

SashaKerr · 09/05/2015 12:33

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Flen · 09/05/2015 14:12

Am also feeling very raw about the election results tanny, minnie, barking, jady, longest. I see so many children who have experienced significants traumas getting chucked out of school, and the pressure on the system is only going to make it worse and worse. I've been really quite tearful thinking of those small people who simply aren't given any chance because big people in big cities with NO CLUE make all the decisions. I feel very scared.

And that is my rant.

sasha Everything you've written strikes a chord. xx

cloudjumper · 09/05/2015 19:48

Lots to faffing about on the phone yesterday, but finally managed to speak to the GP who immediately arranged a scan for me on the 17th! Scanxiety kicking in. But I am feeling so rotten at the moment, trying to take comfort in that. Confused

Minnie74 · 09/05/2015 20:11

sasha great blog post. All so true. I could have written it (well I couldn't but you know what I mean!)

brummie they don't know bump envy, they really don't! Angry

barking I'm so impressed with your fitness motivation. I really wish I could find something I loved doing which would also help me lose weight, get fit and give me something else to focus on for a bit. I'm notoriously bad at sticking with exercise if I'm left to myself. I've only ever stuck with it when I saw a trainer. Sadly can't afford that anymore- he was pretty hot too!

cloud great that you've got the scan booked. We all know that scanxiety. Feeling crap is a definite positive though!

Justonemoretime · 09/05/2015 20:13

Cloud, glad you got your scan booked. Hope your continued feeling of yukkiness is a good sign.

I had a 'moment' at NCT this morning when the teacher read out that piece about going to Holland in stead of Italy. I used to say that we were still waiting for our passports to come though, even though we'd paid and done all the paperwork. And then our third almost went to Holland, but never made it. It was hard to hear it being read out, and I went and had a little weep in the toilet. Possibly very hormonal at this point. Never mind. Hopefully we're coming into the final approach to Italy now (still feel like I'm jinxing things, saying that). Sorry if my ramblings make no sense. Blush Hmm

Waves to everyone.

Frecklefire · 09/05/2015 20:18

Slow moving thread today, it's almost as if we have lives outside of miscarrige or something!Wink

So, i'm half-way through the two week wait. There is NO way i'm going to test before Friday, when i think period is due. I have started the progesterone as planned. And often today i've been aware of a pain, low down on the left hand side of my stomach. It's not crampy (which is more like waves) it's different. Of course, my mind is off with the faries - googling 'implantation pain'...Stupid woman. And, glutton for punishment that i am, i'm on the nhs website predicting my fictional babies 'due date'. Oh yes - and i've also been looking up the popularity of my 'baby names', (Lara or Scottie currently)so funny! Tell you what, why don't i just get one of you to hold my head down on a desk and somebody else can take a hammer to it?! Of course, the really^^ funny part of all this is that my uterus would probably implant a piece of friggin' LEGGO if i shoved it up there!!!!!... When will i learn that bfp does not a baby make...?!

SashaKerr · 09/05/2015 20:37

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Justonemoretime · 09/05/2015 20:41

To make some kind of sense of my previous post, read here. Ignore the last line. It kind of fits how I've felt in the past.

Enjoy your reading, Sasha. Glad your test results are back, and clear, although I know how frustrating and upsetting a 'normal' diagnosis can be.

tannyLoo · 09/05/2015 20:57

Thanks for the link Just! I'd started to think there was a secret code I'd missed out on! (paranoid,moi?)

*Cloud, really pleased you have a scan, and that you feel rubbish!

I've not found the hurt any less painful from not getting my hopes up Freckle, dreaming and planning are lovely things to do, and bastard RMC shouldn't rob those feelings...

We still have a barking baby, he's ok but needing tons of comfort. He's also just turned 2 months. Wow.

Justonemoretime · 09/05/2015 21:00

Sorry Tanny, I started my post on my phone, realised how obscure it was and went on my laptop to add the link. Blush

Brummiegirl15 · 09/05/2015 21:03

I was a bit confused Just but you are so so nearly there my lovely.

MiniJust is getting his/ her hat and coat on as we speak!!!

So did a cheeky extra ov test and got a solid smiley so Prof B said I'd ovulate on day 10 (which is tomorrow) so I need to start progesterone on day 17

Shit I'm in the 2 week wait! DTD Thursday morning and about 1am this morning.

Hoping me and DP can get another one in tonight...

Justonemoretime · 09/05/2015 21:06

Brummie, good news on the solid smiley. Have a good night Wink Wink

Minnie74 · 09/05/2015 21:07

sasha glad the results are all ok. Hope you have better luck understanding the science in the book than I did! I think I got the general gist and I liked the real life success stories though!

just great piece but really emotional too. I can understand the little weep in the loos. Not long to go now and you'll have landed! X

freckle last MC I'd worked out due date, month by month how much money I'd have on mat leave, got baby apps and googled names within the first week! Why the fk! And a BFP is half way to a baby- wish I was that bloody fertile!

On a more positive note from me, I got a high on the monitor this morning (not quite a peak but better than nothing!) am keeping fingers crossed i ov in the next few days and can ring Coventry while I've still got a student teaching my class- my boss is less upset about another day off then! Going to start testing in the evening too in case it misses it.

Was it brummie who was talking about cough mixture for cm? Does it help with ewcm? And is it a certain ingredient I should be looking for? Cm is pretty minimal since mc3 (sorry tmi!)

Hope everyone's having a good weekend. X

Minnie74 · 09/05/2015 21:09

X-post brummie woohoo for solid smiley!

tannyLoo · 09/05/2015 21:18

Brummie Wink

Brummiegirl15 · 09/05/2015 21:28

Hi Minnie yes it was me. It defo works. You need the one that guaifensen (sorry shit spelling!!) as the active ingredient. Benilyn chesty cough has it and I use it. 2 x spoonfuls twice a day from about 5 days before ovulation. Also drink lots of water. Cough syrup can't give you extra cm, but it just thins out what you currently have. I also use preseed as I really do struggle with dryness

Am hoping it's ok with DP tonight, DTD has been hard work because of performance anxiety on DP's part. He's really struggled with the pressure Sad

But we did only DTD in early hours of this morning so am hoping we could be ok

Christ it round be this hard!!!!