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Miscarriage/pregnancy loss

Find support and share your experiences on our Miscarriage forum. See also legal rights and support after baby loss.

Recurrent miscarriage support, tests, treatments and trying again.

999 replies

Monten · 27/04/2015 10:11

Buckle up, the threads move like lightening! Tea, sympathy, information, support and combined wisdom to guide you through the maze of testing and treatment for recurrent miscarriage. Newbies always most welcome.

Please start with the traditional recap of your stats.

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Brummiegirl15 · 08/05/2015 12:50

What the actual fuck?????

She needs to jog on and spend time with her baby at home and not keep dragging it in for keeping in touch days.

Someone should be saying to her - ok, you've shown your baby , to keep bringing it to work is not appropriate

Starting to wonder now if I could take my cats to work. Because you know I'm sure they'd rather be cuddled by all my colleagues that enjoying the peace at home.

FFS. Angry

Sorry I'm being a bitch

longestlurkerever · 08/05/2015 12:50

I think you're well within your rights to complain march. It's a massive distraction for anyone regardless of the fact it's eating away at you. If your colleague wants to come back to work she needs to sort out childcare.

Brummiegirl15 · 08/05/2015 12:51

longest had a far more sensible answer. That's exactly what I meant. In a sweary bitchy way

Sunandrainbow · 08/05/2015 13:02

march - wtf!!!! Seriously, that's too much. I think you would absolutely be justified saying something. It's not a crèche. x

cloudjumper · 08/05/2015 13:05

march WTAF?! Does she know that KIT days are meant for work, and that it's not on to bring a baby to work? I also think that this could be grounds for a complaint, how are you supposed to work in an office with a baby?! Surely the senior management and/or HR should pick up on that.

sasha Well done for telling your work, you're brave! People need to know these things happen! I know it's something incredibly private, but at the same time, people need to realise what impact this has on those who go through it. Everyone will understand, and I think it's much better to give them context as to why we might behave a bit 'weird' at times.

Just tried to ring the midwife and the EPU, no luck with either Angry I can see myself spending a lot of time on the phone for this...

Marchgirl · 08/05/2015 13:06

Thanks ladies. Glad it's not just me being a demented bitch. I don't really feel I can make a complaint without being ostracised by the office. Hopefully she's nearly out of kit days by now. And surely when she comes back permanently she can't bring it?!

Marchgirl · 08/05/2015 13:10

On the plus side, perhaps this 'aversion therapy' will help Wink

CheesyMash · 08/05/2015 13:32

Bloody hell, she can't keep away march! So sad that she'd rather spend those precious first weeks with her newborn at work rather than being snuggled up at home or with family. On a practical note, it is taking the piss bringing a baby in that many times!

Sunandrainbow · 08/05/2015 13:35

march - if she's sitting near /next to you with the baby, then maybe say you need to be able to concentrate on a particular piece of work and would she mind moving to a meeting room with the baby. Or, if not, take yourself off to meeting room. AngryAngryAngry

girliesaints · 08/05/2015 13:49

Sasha, well done you & very brave telling your work colleagues. Glad they have been supportive.

March, really? Does the lady have a problem not being the in the office? Can't believe your bosses or HR haven't said anything.

Back from swimming. Knackered from going on the flume 5 times with DD. taking that as a positive sign

Jady77 · 08/05/2015 13:55

It is odd to go in so frequently. Am surprised management haven't said something to her, but then you wouldn't know if they had I guess. Hope you're staying strong March

So after not being able to sleep all night I was patiently waiting for 9am before calling Kerri then fell asleep about 8.50 and not been able to get hold of her so far. Typical.

In better news DPs decree absolute has come through today...yay!!! They've been separated over 10 years, but for various reasons the divorce hadn't happened, but with a little Jady power it has now, celebrations tonight methinks!

Jady77 · 08/05/2015 13:58

Sasha well done on telling colleagues, it does take courage. I'm glad they're being supportive.

Brummiegirl15 · 08/05/2015 13:59

Ooh great news Jady!!! Very pleased for you.

You are on a roll with the good stuff. Long may it continue!!!

Jady77 · 08/05/2015 14:16

And some more. I'm physically shaking! Managed to change scan for Monday so will get heparin sooner. Will be 5+2. This has to be a sign doesn't it? Really really hoping.

Erica21 · 08/05/2015 15:19

March I hope the baby has left the building?!

Jady That's great news about the scan, fingers crossed for you :)

Thanks cloud and barking for the aspirin info, am taking it because I had a large blood clot in the 2nd MC under the baby, they thought might be implantation bleed... I'm hoping I'm doing the right thing Hmm

Marchgirl · 08/05/2015 15:33

Actually i left the building instead! Heard her say to someone that she's doing backshifts next week so hopefully she will leave the baby with her dh.

Yay on both fronts jady! Definitely some celebrating for you tonight Cake

Well done on telling colleagues sasha. I hope it helps you to be able to speak about it x

Jady77 · 08/05/2015 15:55

Can you speak with your line manager March? Just a quiet word to say you are struggling and wondered how often this is going to take place. They should be able to have a quiet word then with her lm and have it kept discreet.

Monten · 08/05/2015 16:12

Yes you're right brummie I like a scrap sometimes Grin. Only with smuggy mcsmug people tho.

Fantastic news for your early scan jady.

Hugs for those who need them and high fives for those with things looking up.

Not much to report here, AF due next Tues/Weds. Not expecting much as only DTD once at the right time this cycle, as supposed to be having a month off due to wedding.

Remember I told you all about my smuggy mcsmug boss, due his second baby shortly, both conceived with ease, no problems etc, lives in a flash house, off on sabbatical soon, three months in Miami.....etc etc. Well, he is due to speak at an event on Tuesday. His wife is due any day. He just told me that I would have to step in on his behalf if his wife goes into labour before then. If that happens I will kick a wall. Seriously, seriously, it sometimes feels like the universe is laughing, doesn't it? And I just had to sit there and admire pictures of his heavily pregnant wife cuddling their three year old on her birthday. I actually had to hold back the tears. I started trying when their little girl was one and I still have nothing to show for it.

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Frecklefire · 08/05/2015 16:29

March** Oh. My. God. I don't believe it
Honestly - i am a well adjusted 'normal' woman - that bitch has something wrong in her head. What a wanker.

And i am also actually so disappointed i could actually have a bit of a cry at election. Nhs and education fucked by fucking old etonians. And now i really must go away and be quiet...

tannyLoo · 08/05/2015 16:31

March, I think brummie has a good idea there! I've gone from worrying about this mother to thinking she's batshit crazy!

Jady, phew! Pleased to hear you're going on Monday Smile

Frecklefire · 08/05/2015 16:42

Sorry...i am also a sweary bitch! Xxx

Sunandrainbow · 08/05/2015 17:22

monten AngryAngryAngry tell him to eff-off if you are asked to stand in - say you are sick / have hospital appointment / family emergency and that he has to find someone else. Grrrrrr!

I had some bad news about my boss today - but he's opposite end of the spectrum, amazingly fab. He has cancer and has been told a bone marrow transplant is his only option but that there is currently no donor. And in spite of that, he is just being so amazingly positive. x

mrsdiddlydoo · 08/05/2015 17:43

jady big high five for changing your appointment! Smile

Brummiegirl15 · 08/05/2015 17:45

Sun that's crap. I'm sorry to hear that.

Just been for a boozy lunch with a client in London (so a little bit quite tipsy) who knows what's happened to me.

So we are on the wine and he says "so com on, how's it gone with your consultant. What they said, what's happening next? Because quit frankly it's fucking shit what's happened so hoping they can do something"

And that, ladies, is exactly how people should be. Upfront, to the point, none of this wishy washy head tilting. We had a good old chat, told him what was happening / happened. And we had a good old bitch about how shit it was. Over a very nice bottle of red.

But it was good. Cathartic.

He's a good client. Negotiates like nobody's business, but he's a good guy.

Sometimes the last thing you want is pity and the "head tilt"

And Monten I even used the words "smuggy mcsmug" in my conversation !! Grin

But he's been married for years to a very cool woman who is one of the editors at a broadsheet and they don't have kids. I never asked why (maybe they don't want them, which is ok too) but just goes to show you never really know anybody else's story

it's the red wine talking

Monten · 08/05/2015 20:44

You're right brummie, someone just going 'yes it's shit, the world sucks' is so much better than the head tilt sympathy.

sun that's awful about your poor boss Sad. Stuff like that does put things in perspective. Health should never be taken for granted. I hope a donor becomes available for him.

Just had a massive fight with dp. Why are men so crap?? I do 90% of the life admin in this house but somehow when I kick off because he's still not done the things he was supposed to do, I'M the one who is out of order??? AngryAngryAngry

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