Active discussions

Please or to access all these features

Talk
Miscarriage/pregnancy loss

Find support and share your experiences on our Miscarriage forum. See also legal rights and support after baby loss.

Original poster

Recurrent miscarriage support, tests, treatments and trying again.

999 replies

Monten · 27/04/2015 10:11

Buckle up, the threads move like lightening! Tea, sympathy, information, support and combined wisdom to guide you through the maze of testing and treatment for recurrent miscarriage. Newbies always most welcome.

Please start with the traditional recap of your stats.

OP posts:
Erica21 · 03/05/2015 17:43

Cloud I'm thinking of you. Massive hugs and positive vibes xx

13Willow · 03/05/2015 19:17

Hi all I'm new

Willow 35, OH 36 4 MC, no DC - MC at 9 weeks, then 2 at 5 weeks. MC at 6 wks this week. Back to EPU for more scans and tests this week. Just hoping for answers, I was so positive this time, I 'felt' pregnant for the first time. Not sure I can do miscarriage #5 :(

Justonemoretime · 03/05/2015 19:18

Cloud, thinking of you. xx

Brummiegirl15 · 03/05/2015 19:42

Oh Willow big big hugs to you. That is shit. Welcome to our little gang. The one no one wants to join but we are here for you.

I'm so so sorry for your losses. Can I ask were you on any treatment protocol this time such as progesterone and heparin?

Marchgirl · 03/05/2015 20:00

Welcome willow, though sorry that you have to be here. Hope you find the thread helpful for support and info or just for people to speak to who know what you're going through. I'm also 4 mcs down and feeling like i won't cope if i have another one. It's so hard to be positive but we're all here for each other. Hopefully we can build you up to feeling ready to try again. X

Frecklefire · 03/05/2015 20:07

Hi there willow - glad you found us, but sorry you have had to. Sounds lije you've had a really shit time of it. I am pretty sure you'll feel supported here. Welcome xxx

Minnie74 · 03/05/2015 20:14

Hi willow and welcome. So sorry for your losses. It's a shitty time but, as the others have said, glad you found your way here and hope you find some comfort here too x

longestlurkerever · 03/05/2015 20:22

Sorry to read your story willow. It's just shut isn't it? There's plenty of understanding on this thread and some hope too, as we have a number of successful pregnancies both with and without answers being found. Have you had any tests yet?

AllThereIs · 03/05/2015 21:00

Cloud - I've everything crossed for you.

Welcome willow. Some gas girls on here, a great shit place to be.

Sorry for not name checking more. I've been in protection mode for the past few days. Was at EPU on Friday, everything has came away naturally. So, now just need to decide when to start again. Hope you're all doing well.

Jady77 · 03/05/2015 21:30

Welcome Willow, so sorry for your losses. I'm sure you'll find it useful here, these women are amazing. And we'll be handholding this week. Flowers

Glad everything is clear Allthereis, in the nicest possible way. Only you can know when it's the right time to try again. But I hope you're taking care of yourself first.

ThePopAndCry · 03/05/2015 22:20

cloud thinking of you. x

13Willow · 03/05/2015 22:47

Thanks everyone! Good to know you guys are here to support me! We've had some blood tests, testing clotting etc and all came back fine. Still to get chromosome testing, OH works away through the week so scheduling him in when he is home. Have not been on any 'meds' but having read some posts and through some responses on another thread it looks like progesterone may be something to talk about St my next appt.
Cloud my thoughts and love are with you, I'm wishing you all the luck in the world x

IFinishedTheBiscuits · 03/05/2015 23:19

I see Kirstie Allsop has been banging on about women concentrating on having kids in their 20s again.
God she does my head in. For some people, having kids in their 20s might be the right thing. For the rest of us, who didn't meet the right person until later, who don't have high earning partners who can support the family alone while we go to university after having children (another of her ideas), or who started trying for kids in our 20s but had fertility problems, that's really shit advice.
She's so bloody smug - always has to get in how she effortlessly conceived in her 30s.
Let's see how she feels in the future if, for example, her 23 year old son tells Kirstie his 23 year old girlfriend is ready to take ten years off work to have kids and go to university. I suspect she'd think differently then.

Catlover2014 · 03/05/2015 23:21

Sending a hug to cloud and praying the spotting isn't anything serious. The first trimester is so stressful. Sorry to hear DH turned to alcohol, me and my DH did that many a time and it isn't always the help you hope it will be.

Welcome to the feed Willow. So sorry for your losses and all you've been through. The girls on here are lovely and supportive and will help you through. Keep us posted on how your tests go.

MrsConfusion · 03/05/2015 23:22

Welcome willow to the club no one wants to join - but which is full of knowledge, love, compassion and humour. So sorry life has been so unkind to you.

cloud hugs and thoughts constantly. You're in my mind.

Feeling a bit fragile here, royal news plus unexpected baby bomb in the park plus generally in the last week all my MCs keep running round my mind, technicolor sometimes. Time to kick myself and fight again as I feel like I'm sliding back to a bad, sad place.

In positive news, my tiny baby great nephew (born at 30 weeks, 4 weeks ago) is out of his incubator, in cot, had his first bath today and has tried his first feed direct from mum - what a little battler! Courage comes in all sorts of places.

Hugs to all, you're such a source of inspiration and hope x

IFinishedTheBiscuits · 03/05/2015 23:26

I did actually meet my partner when I was quite young. But it took me a long time to get my head around being a stepmum at 22!!
DH had also had a bad breakup and didn't want to risk more kids he'd be separated from by jumping in too fast.
And I earn slightly more than DH and if I hadn't worked my way up (neither of us earn loads) before having kids we wouldn't have survived financially.
It is the coming from a privileged position and telling everyone else how to live that pisses me off.

IFinishedTheBiscuits · 03/05/2015 23:30

Ok, rant over. Willow, sorry you find yourself here and welcome.
Cloud, still crossing everything for you.
MrsC, chin up. Don't roll with the punches, get up and fight back. Flowers

Catlover2014 · 04/05/2015 00:12

Kirstie Allsop can do one biscuits it's a load of tripe. We started trying when I was 28 and people advised me that I might be too young. Now 31 weeks pregnant at 35 I'm often being told how I'm going to be an 'old' mum and that I will struggle with the physical demands of motherhood and labour. We can't win can we?! X

IFinishedTheBiscuits · 04/05/2015 00:34

We can't can we Catlover! And it does seem to be other women who are most critical. (Won't get started on Katie Hopkins...)

I have also just realised that I've been taking double the progesterone you're advised to by Coventry before BFP as had just carried on using dosage from last pregnancy. So may have made myself hyper-selective instead. Whoops.

bootles · 04/05/2015 06:53

biscuits is this your first month of progesterone? Annoying for you but no harm done.

I agree about Kirstie Allsop. Whilst I wish I had started trying in my 20's, as I would have more time now to ttc, life just doesn't work out that way. I did do some great stuff in my 20's too. She could at least recognise some of the complexities of life.

cat I am cross on your behalf at peoples comments about your age. I hope you are able to rise above it.

cloud still sending you strength and hand holds

mrsc lovely news about your great nephew! Sorry you are feeling so down. Its horrible when you can't shift your mind isn't it. Is there anything you have found that helps to distract you (in as much as you can ever be distracted)? Hope today is a little better.

willow so sorry to hear you have been through such a hard time. Welcome to the thread.

Marchgirl · 04/05/2015 06:55

Morning everyone.
cloud, how are you doing today lovely? Hope the bleeding has stayed away overnight x

ExtraBlessings · 04/05/2015 07:47

Welcome willow
Huge handhold to you cloud

bakingtins · 04/05/2015 08:06

at willow glad you decided to join us.

cloud really hope spotting has settled. Rooting for you.

Kirsty Allsop can piss off. You'd have to have lived in a cave not to be aware that biologically speaking it's better to have children in your twenties. Life just isn't like that. I wasn't settled with DH until I was 30, and my neat 2 year age gaps just didn't pan out. It wasn't my life plan to be 40 with a baby, but life doesn't always run to plan. Her smuggery may yet bite her on the arse....

Frecklefire · 04/05/2015 08:15

Morning! Oooo another babk holiday if bastard-marking, lovely! Angry

Hope you are doing ok cloud** wherever you are Flowers

I wonder if Kirsty is taking to younger women, as she herself left it to her 30's and had to becone a step mum first? I will def tell my ds and please god any future dd to ignore the superficial crap i wasted my time on in my 20's, partying and generally trying to save useless, shite men, who were basically broken and were never going to make me happy! Six years post graduation with broken toys and then six years convincing dh to get married and another 2 to have kids! Life just doesnt fall into everyones lap!

Flen · 04/05/2015 08:36

Morning everyone. Feeling pretty crappy here, on something like day 17 of insomnia and going a bit potty. Coming off the progesterone hasn't helped either I don't think...

Welcome willow, glad you have found us and sorry to hear what you've been through.

cloud let us know how you're doing.

Anyone who thinks having a family is straightforward is only looking at one very privileged side of the story. It's another form of marginalisation.