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Miscarriage/pregnancy loss

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Recurrent Miscarriage Support Thread - Thread 17 - Tests, treatment and trying again

984 replies

Flower29 · 05/02/2015 12:28

Information, support, hand holding, tea, sympathy and a hell of a lot of combined knowledge - all welcome as we try to make sense of the RMC roller coaster of tests, NHS admin, heart ache and (hopefully) happy endings!
Please start with a recap of your stats Smile

OP posts:
bootles · 15/02/2015 20:51

NO Guilt necessary you lot!!!! We are all on here because of what we have lost, and what we are trying to gain, to help and support each other however we can. Pg ladies, without the success stories to keep me afloat I honestly would be in an even darker place. I for one love to hear how the bumps are progressing, and wait on edge for the scans..I think its safe to say we all want everyone on here to take home a baby.

We have very different journeys, with lots of common threads. I've had 5 losses but can only imagine how painful infertility is, especially infertility then mc. Its all horrible stuff which I am sorry any of us have ever been through.

Guilt is very female, it's true, and I do know what you all mean, those who have referred to it. Despite the fact that we should none of us feel guilty, I expect I mention DS on here too much, and I feel bad about that. I always say how grateful I am to have him as I don't anyone to think I take him for granted, and I am so aware that many of you would do anything to have one child, never mind even thinking about two. But now I think about it, maybe saying how grateful I am just makes me sound smug - which I totally don't! Its a bit of a minefield.

I'm sure those of you with bumps are automatically being sensitive in those awkward social situations. I wouldn't worry about it. I do think women who have had losses can pick up that there has been some kind of issue with someone else, so maybe they understand from your 'weird' responses (probably not weird at all) that it hasn't come easy.

Sorry not to name check all of you in tbat bit..

cloud I can see the conundrum...have you asked them about having an MRI in pg? Did your consultant think the fibroid was an issue, or is he just ticking boxes and checking it now they know its there? Of course booking the MRI for sometime or another may invoke the law of sod and you'l get upduffed...

So many conversations today..I struggle with positive thinking in pg because I can't bear the crash when it goes wrong. I prefer to think the worst from day 1 but maybe that's not helping. Thanks seeker and baking for info about the book. I think I'm leani g towards the SME thinking pattern as barking. I usually need to know Everything..look at each scan in detail, Google obsessively, strong need to understand the biology. But of late I feel utterly defeated by it all, and doubt we would have the money to look into the stuff you mention. Which would be heart breaking.

God sorry for the epic epic post..

Purplefrogshoes · 15/02/2015 21:09

Congratulations monten

Good luck to those with scans and appointments this week, crossing everything

So sorry March

Sorry for not name checking but thread moves so fast it's difficult to keep up

I'm feeling much better and going back to work tomorrow but colleague who has had two stillbirths within 18 months is coming back tomorrow too and I'm a bit anxious about it as I do look pregnant now and I don't want to upset her

Hope dd is doing better baking

Hope you are having a rest now your on maternity leave tanny

Monten · 15/02/2015 21:28

Thanks ladies. Been looking at dressesGrin. We will probably have a v small wedding, just close family and friends so will definitely shell out on an amazing frock!

Just ordered some conceive plus, a basal thermometer and a copy of Taking charge of your fertility. Here we go again!
Good luck for scans tomorrow x

twilightstruggle · 15/02/2015 22:02

Congratulations Monten. Lovely news! X

Sunandrainbow · 15/02/2015 22:26

Ah - congratulations monten. That is such fab news.

Good luck to all those with scans tomorrow. Will be keeping everything crossed for you all.

On the subject of pregnant ladies on this thread - your stories are absolutely keeping me going and making me feel that maybe, just maybe there is a way through this. Personally I do a little 'yay!!!' each time there is a bfp and am anxiously checking the thread for news of those who have had scans and really really hoping that it is good. Pregnant ladies in RL are most definitely harder to deal with especially as others have said when it seems to come so easily to some, who the complain about very little thing related to their pregnancy. Grrrr!!! Would swap like a shot.

x

bootles · 15/02/2015 22:32

Sorry monten I meant to say...Congratulations! That's great, something to look forward to! Everything crossed for you on this cycle.

march cross posted this morning, I was on the phone on the bus to work so a bit slow...thanks for the acupuncture tips, I will definitely look into it. How are you doing today?

Can see loads of typos in my previous post..ah well, you get the gist.

bootles · 15/02/2015 22:41

purple glad you are feeling better. How hideous that your colleague had to go through that. Hope tomorrow goes ok.

Good luck all those with scans tomorrow x

barkingtreefrog · 15/02/2015 22:42

purple two stillbirths? How the hell do you carry on after that? Sad. Are you close enough to have a conversation about it? When I returned after my 1st mc my pg colleague came in, gave me a hug and said she understood it was difficult for me to see her. She was lovely, and when I avoided her I knew she understood and never took it personally.

Catlover2014 · 15/02/2015 22:55

Good luck for your scan sea I'll be keeping everything crossed you see a little hb flicker but just sac in right place is good at this early stage.

purple how utterly awful for your colleague and hard for you too. You can only be kind and keep conversation off babies, which I know you will do. Terrible to be reminded that such sadness exists. Hmm

girliesaints · 16/02/2015 06:24

Congratulations Moulten & good luck to those having a scan today x

Marchgirl · 16/02/2015 06:58

Good luck with the scans today cat, boozle and bythesea (hope I've not missed anyone). I'm living vicariously through you lot at the moment so got everything crossed for you all.

Glad you're feeling better purple. Well done for making it through the hg on top of everything else. It's a lot to deal with. So sorry to hear about your colleague. How awful for her and how difficult for you. Does she know about your losses? I agree that acknowledging the difficulty might be the best way to go.

first day back at work today. Dreading all the pitying looks. I'm not good with people being sympathetic, it just makes me cry.

Had a good chat with dh last night for the first time in ages. Think he's feeling bad for being so mean the other day. Just need to get these hormones out of my system so i can get back on a more even keel then i can start to look ahead again.
Due date for mc2 coming up on thurs though. Just another little slap in the face to deal with. Sigh

bakingtins · 16/02/2015 07:19

Good luck cat boozle and bythesea

march it sounds like you have a tough week ahead. Thinking of you.

purple glad you are feeling better. Your poor colleague Sad agree with the others that some acknowledgement of how difficult it must be is the way to go, perhaps write it in a card? I'm like march anyone being nice to me would destroy the brittle facade of being ok.

Justonemoretime · 16/02/2015 08:06

Good luck for scans today Boozle, Cat and Bythesea.
Purple, glad you're feeling better. Hope work goes ok. Difficult situation, but I am sure you and your colleague will find a way through. So sad for her, though.

longestlurkerever · 16/02/2015 08:07

Good luck cat, boozle and bythesea. I will be refreshing the screen for updates!

March, lovely, what you posted about feeling guilty made me so sad. You're such a sweetie. Everyone is cheering you and all the other ladies ttc and in the early days on so hard. I want it to happen for us all!

Congratulations Monten! Have fun planning your wedding. Sorry about AF. Here's to a new cycle and new hope.

Boozle80 · 16/02/2015 08:17

Thanks everyone - I've been up since five, only 5 hours to go! Good luck and hand holding to the scanaxiety sufferers today. Monday the 16th February is going to be a lucky day - it's only a day off pancake day so it has to be!
Purple I'll be thinking of you today, hope it all goes ok

tannyLoo · 16/02/2015 08:18

Boozle, cat, and sea, hand holding today. Its just as well it's metaphorical, as I only have 2 hands! Just remember it will be crowded in that room with us all behind you x

March take it easy today. Don't be a martyr, if you wobble its ok.

Purple you will be the best pregnant colleague for her, with your level of awareness and compassion you will feel supportive and not too intrusive.

Baking hugs. I know you need to wait till this difficult time is passed to let go, but I hope you are then able to have support for you too.

Sunandrainbow · 16/02/2015 08:23

Good luck today cat, boozle and bythesea. Have everything crossed for you all. x

Flower29 · 16/02/2015 08:26

Still reading through all the posts still but good luck cat and boozle for your scans today, thinking of you both and hope they are both ok, sure they will be!

36k!!!! ShockShock thought I had it bad with 36h (normally 32g)! Think I got mine from debenhams and also got nursing bras from mothercare outlet which were quite cheap for + size ones.
march it's very sad to hear you felt guilty about your last BFP. Please remember that we are all behind you and routing for each other on here, and each time someone gets a BFP its a very positive thing and gives us all a bit more hope (along with the other successes) that it can happen. Please please please don't feel guilty next time. X Flowers

OP posts:
Purplefrogshoes · 16/02/2015 08:35

Thanks all, she knows of my losses and that I am pregnant again so at least she will be prepared. Card is a good idea baking.

Good luck to those with scans today

Thinking of you march

Flower29 · 16/02/2015 08:39

Congratulations monten Grin !! That's lovely news. Hopefully this will take your mind off ttc a little and something positive to focus on, and of course hope (like the others have said) invoke sods law so you have a massive bump and have to get another dress! Wink
Good luck aswell bythesea, hope it goes ok, look forward to hearing about it along with the others.

OP posts:
Me2Me2 · 16/02/2015 08:54

Argh so behind. monten congratulations!
Good luck cat and boozle for today.

Me2Me2 · 16/02/2015 08:54

And bythesea!

Flower29 · 16/02/2015 09:00

purple hope work goes ok today. Your poor colleague...I think a card is a lovely idea too, I think it's good to acknowledge her losses and that it might be hard for her to see you pg but you understand.

Going back to seeing pg women in RL, I have to look away (currently avoiding seeing people I know) and seeing my sil's scan made me cry. But I think it's their ease of it that's upsetting. I certainly feel differently about the women on here, not only does everyone deserve a baby on here after all those painful losses and journeys but also that it is your right and it should happen so I'm really grateful to all the ladies who are pg or now have a baby for continuing to share with us.
I have also had stupid thoughts after having my son which I am now ashamed and embarrassed about. Like why do people only stick at one child?? Didn't occur to me that it may not be through choice (or a very painful choice)!! [stupid naive woman! Blush]

OP posts:
ourdaywillcome1983 · 16/02/2015 09:06

Monten congratulations!

Hand holding and good luck for your scans today ladies. Let us know how youve gone on as soon as you can :)

I am seeing my consultant on Weds, they have agreed to scan me beforehand because i havent felt as rubbish as i have been. I know its meant to taper off but this is what happened with the last MMC - think i need the reassurance :(

TinyTear · 16/02/2015 09:19

good luck to everyone having scans today!