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Miscarriage/pregnancy loss

Find support and share your experiences on our Miscarriage forum. See also legal rights and support after baby loss.

Recurrent Miscarriage Support Thread - Thread 17 - Tests, treatment and trying again

984 replies

Flower29 · 05/02/2015 12:28

Information, support, hand holding, tea, sympathy and a hell of a lot of combined knowledge - all welcome as we try to make sense of the RMC roller coaster of tests, NHS admin, heart ache and (hopefully) happy endings!
Please start with a recap of your stats Smile

OP posts:
Catlover2014 · 15/02/2015 13:05

Thanks just I'll take a look at that site. I wish I was hour glass like you, I'm just top heavy as quite boy shaped on bottom and it makes me look especially odd now I'm pregnant.

kirinim hello there, sorry you have been through so much. Hugs to you. It's a horrible journey but it is good if you can take hope. It took me six years to get here but I'm glad I kept fighting. Don't give up ladies!

bakingtins · 15/02/2015 14:29

march lovely, nobody here wants you to do anything but have a totally uneventful 9 months and a beautiful baby at the end of it. We've all been through enough already. I think what we all envy is not the bump or the baby, but the ease with which some women manage it. Anyone who has learnt the hard way all that can go wrong is welcome to their subsequent success (imo)

Post MC hypnotherapy is an interesting idea. I wonder if someone like Maggie Howells would do a cd to make it more accessible? I used the "turn down the dial" v successfully for labour pain, never occurred to me to use it for scanxiety etc.

Anyone needing bigger pregnancy or nursing bras, try nursingbra-shop.co.uk which has a big range and free returns. Mumsnet bra intervention sizing!

Monten · 15/02/2015 16:14

Another one chiming in to say I love having pregnant ladies on the thread. You all give me hope. That's so sad what you said march and I'm so sorry you felt like that. I can only speak for myself but I cheer for any BFP, we all deserve good news.

Well af started at my acupuncture session. So that's me out. Sad. Seven cycles now. This will be the eighth. I'm just so frightened that's something is wrong. I might book some private fertility investigations, still not received an nhs appointment.

baking I agree it's the ease of some women's journeys that I just find so hard to bear. People I know who are on their second pregnancies now, having conceived with ease both times and always ending up in a baby. It just ... Blows my mind. I feel so jealous sometimes it makes me ashamed.

Oh - DP proposed yesterday! Smile. It was a bone of contention with us too, so pleased he finally did it! Feel a bit bad tho as I'm just really sad about af. I must cheer up and start counting my blessings.

Boozle80 · 15/02/2015 16:19

Congratulations Monten that's awesome news! Fingers crossed Mr Boozle will follow suit!

tannyLoo · 15/02/2015 16:39

Big love to you all for being so supportive. I agree that when I was in the midst of MC after MC, it was women who sailed through it that I struggled with. Those who had names picked out before any scans and said they were having a baby when it was still a clump of cells. I was even jealous of women who'd "only" had one MC, as they were definitely in the bad luck camp. How nasty am I?

I stay here because I am still going through the trauma of it all, and want the support of people who know. I also want to help others find their way through the tortuous world of RMC and celebrate their successes when they come.

Lots of us who are pregnant now are a bit of a surprise. I think we all thought that it would probably not happen for us...

March I echo what others have said. You have as much right as any of us to have a healthy happy pregnancy x

tannyLoo · 15/02/2015 16:40

Monten congratulations! Lovely news!

bakingtins · 15/02/2015 16:43

Congratulations monten set a date and go buy a really slinky white dress, sod's law says you'll have a massive bump by the time the big day come around!

Flen · 15/02/2015 17:14

Congratulations monten!

TinyTear · 15/02/2015 17:19

Congratulations Monten

The other day the woman taking my blood pressure misread my notes and thought I had 5 children at home, not 5 miscarriages...

She at least looked embarrassed when I corrected her

Marchgirl · 15/02/2015 17:30

Congratulations monten!!! Lovely news. Sorry af got you but glad you've got something lovely to think about xx

BettyButterchops · 15/02/2015 18:09

just I think I know what you mean. I was congratulated by someone in a group and received it very coldly and awkwardly in case someone else in that group would find it upsetting.... but I think I just came across as weird. Again. I guess sensitivity and a genuine sense of private gratitude is all that can be done. Although I got upset by other pregnancies when I'd lost 3, it was never personal... how can anyone really understand unless they've been through it. Universe forgive me, before I went through this I once asked someone an inadvertently insensitive question about their family size. I had no idea and I cringe to this day about it. Not been been for a while but reading through, much love sent to all from here in snotty flu land where i spent valentines half naked in a pool of sweat with loo roll up my nostrils. 50 shades of yuck. x x x

Marchgirl · 15/02/2015 18:23

It seems maybe my previous post came up a bit self indulgent. I should clarify that nobody here has made me feel guilty. You have all been lovely. The guilt is entirely self inflicted!
Had this lovely idea that we'd all get our bfp together but hadn't really thought how i would feel if that didn't happen. It's just wrong feeling happy when you know your happiness is magnifying someone else's disappointment.

Marchgirl · 15/02/2015 18:27

betty I'm sure all of us are guilty of making some innocent comment we would now cringe at someone saying. I definitely am. Hope the flu gets better soon

Catlover2014 · 15/02/2015 18:37

Monten sorry about AF but so nice to hear your happy news. This is the start of better things to come Smile

Brummiegirl15 · 15/02/2015 18:38

Congratulations Monten that is wonderful news!!!!!! Mr Boozle and Mr Brummie need to do the same!!

I definitely agree, the pregnant women on here give me hope when I'm so frightened about how many losses I'll have.

But in RL I struggle with pregnant. I'm bitter and resentful and I'm so ashamed of myself

Catlover2014 · 15/02/2015 18:38

boozle what time is ur scan? Are you nervous? X

BettyButterchops · 15/02/2015 18:42

oh, and congratulations monten!! X x

cloudjumper · 15/02/2015 18:44

Congratulations monten Just the right thing to give you something positive to focus on!

BettyButterchops · 15/02/2015 18:46

march we're all women so guilt is probably pretty comfy territory for any reason. That's why wine was invented though ;) ! x

bythesea82 · 15/02/2015 18:50

monten congratulations, lovely news Flowers Sorry af got you, I 2nd, throw yourself into that wedding planning and Sod's law you'll be pregnant!

seeking welcome, I remember you from previous threads. Hope this is your year.

Can I join tomorrow's scan club? Have mine at 9:10, should be about 6+4 so not sure how much they'll see but mainly a check to make sure it's in the right place and not threatening my single little tube. Have had a lovely weekend away so trying to retain that chilled feeling!

bythesea82 · 15/02/2015 18:51

Oh, meant to say, I also have the feeling of guilt with getting a BFP but love having pregnant people on here to help us remember what can be Smile

cloudjumper · 15/02/2015 18:59

And I agree - while I have no problems with people on here being pg, I do struggle when I encounter them in RL... Even when I know that they have also had mcs or other issues.
And what's worse, I find myself thinking 'I'm now being overtaken by women who had their first after me and are now having their second' EnvyConfused Totally irrational and stupid, but I can't help it. It's not a race, ffs! Angry (well, it is for me, but only against time, not other people). Mc really messes you up, doesn't it.

I'm in a conundrum. CD9 today, about to come into the fertile window and wanting to have another go with SMEP. But I have yet to book my MRI, and I'm not sure if that might be a problem when I'm in the 2ww... On the other hand, it won't make a difference to wait a few weeks to have the scan, they might not have anything available before then, anyway. Just wondering if we should wait until they have looked at the scan and given us the results... Hmph. Really need to book that scan and find out what it'll mean for ttc. Thing is, I don't want to 'waste' a month, especially now that I have found my mojo again...

Justonemoretime · 15/02/2015 19:01

Monten, huge congratulations! Way to invoke the law of sod! Wink Grin
Good luck to all those with scans tomorrow. I'm sure all will be well.
Fwiw, it was 9 years before dh made an honest woman out of me. Slowly slowly catchy monkey.

barkingtreefrog · 15/02/2015 19:28

Congratulations monten I know exactly what you mean though. I was at the end of my first round of clomid and had just started AF when DH proposed. I was so happy, but so devastated at the same time. All I kept thinking was that we were going to tell people we had news and they would jump to the conclusion we were pg. Which they did. And then I found out I was actually pg after all and it was spotting, not AF, so had a very blissful couple of weeks newly engaged and pg.

barkingtreefrog · 15/02/2015 19:29

And yes! Go buy a figure hugging dress immediately! Invoke the law of sod!!! Grin Grin Grin Grin