Recurrent Miscarriage Support Thread 16 - tests, treatment and trying again

[Justonemoretime]

Information, support, hand holding, tea, sympathy and a hell of a lot of combined knowledge - all welcome as we try to make sense of the RMC roller coaster of tests, NHS admin, heart ache and (hopefully) happy endings!
Please start with a recap of your stats :)

I think that's the downside to being open with people, you open yourself up to be judged, or that's how it sometimes feels. For me it's when I say I'll be TTC again next month after I get my cycle back, questions of isn't that a bit soon?? My Mum keeps suggesting I leave it 6 months. Think I'll go with the GP's advice on this one!

Fx you feel sick again soon though! Like Cloud says, one day at a time.

Sorry - really not keeping up with the speed of this thread at the mo.

ourday - serious for colleagues / friends saying idiotic things that just make us feel worse. Grrrrr!

brummie / counting - sod what anyone else thinks. Take as much time as you need and make sure you don't go back until you feel ready. I felt pressured into going back way to soon after each mc, including this one when I went back on Monday after the erpc in the friday. Really really struggled for the first couple of weeks including a few horrible panic attacks on the train / at work. Was generally a complete mess and didn't do anything at all at work, so would have been much better off recovery at home.

tanny - lovely news that all is looking good! You are giving me hope that I may, just may one day be able to write something similar.

Is 3 weeks post erpc 3 tomorrow so I am finally going to pluck up the courage to do a hpt - usually positive until at least 3 weeks after, so crossing fingers it will be negative tomorrow although doubt it. Just want to get af back so can start back on the ttc wagon. And at the same time completely terrified by the whole idea of starting again.

Hugs to everyone and sorry not to be able to mention all. x

Ourday I would be livid if someone said that to me. You are a fully grown adult and can make your own decisions about diet thanks. Really cross on your behalf. As for nausea, I can't emphasise enough how normal it is for symptoms to come and go. I have never suffered too badly with morning sickness - it hit me hardest for about 10 days around 10 weeks this time but even then I was not actually sick and right before that I thought it had gone away altogether. It was the same with dd (If anything I was less sick). Please try not to worry (I know it's easier said than done).

Belle - Similar. I know just how you feel about the movements, and also about finding it hard to allow yourself to think positively, just in case you're setting yourself up for a fall. I have felt exactly the same but I am giving myself a break now. I am nearly 22 weeks and I think a pregnancy loss at this stage would be a stillbirth, or very close to that. I can't live in constant mental preparation for a stillbirth any more than I can live in constant fear that something awful might happen to dd. I don't think putting up a mental barrier against any excitement would actually make it any less awful if something happened, so I am letting myself get excited, and actually it's making time pass quicker and more easily. I am probably waffling and making no sense but what I mean to say is that it's OK to relax now. You're past the danger zone and can start to look at yourself as a "normal" pregnant woman. Maybe even buy yourself something cute!

Tanny Brilliant news! I am starting to believe it's really going to happen for me too. I truly believe it will for all of us eventually. I hope there is not too much more suffering until that day comes.

Baking - Uber hug. That is all.

Great news Tanny

to everyone else big hugs and hope things will get better...

Can't keep up very well as spent 4 hours in my antenatal dep going from midwife to consultant to endocrinologist to diabetic nurse to bloods and to book a scan and then to get metformin for my Gestational Diabetes, phew!

but newbie is fine, heard HB again, going back in a week to see the diabetic team and have another growth scan in 4 weeks...

Thank you Betty and Longest - thats exactly what i wanted to hear, hopefully i am as you two are/were and im just having a little rest from it.
Jady thank you - i hope i feel sick soon too. When my consultant said we could try again my mum was the same "why dont you just leave it an extra month?" - i think she wanted to make sure i was mentally ready but its not what i wanted to hear all the same.

My colleague doesnt have children and has not had a MC - i suppose she doesnt mean it but it just made me feel that she was implying that me not following her kind of no carb diet has somehow caused all this - not helpful, i am hormonal!

Tanny excellent news!!!

And tiny too :D

Excellent news Tanny not long to go now

Anxious ladies, I totally feel you and am wishing you all healthy journeys. I'm 17 weeks now and it isn't getting easier for me either. Cried when I got home tonight as work was so horrendous and all I could think was how awful it'll be if I have to balance it with another mc.

To those who are signed off at the moment I know how guilty you can feel but your own health and happiness has to come before work. As my wise mum would say "be kind to yourself". Have lots of rest, and you deserve it.

Any news on Barking's scan anyone? Keeping everything crossed for good news.

Baking thinking of you, DH and Faith all the time.

Glad all went ok today Tiny lovely to hear hb

Great news, tiny and tanny! Not long now...

Gearing up for ovulation here, imagine my horror tonight as I discovered I only have 1 OPK left! Have ordered some, but they are not going to be here on time. Will have to rely on temping and the monitor...and just dtd often enough

I meant to also say that my consultant was very clear that when women have trouble with early loss, there is absolutely no reason why this would mean the rest of the pregnancy will have any complications. I found it deeply reassuring to hear this. I hope this helps here too.

Also, in my hours of awake last night I found an old thread from this time last year. What is interesting is how many of us that were there then have either had babies or are currently pregnant and past their danger zone. I hope this is of some reassurance to everyone TTC at the moment or recovering. We will all get there!

Baking, just hugs xxx

Cloud when I was doing SMEP for the first time I just went by average cycle length and EWCM. Seemed to work. Hope the long slog doesn't feel too onerous

ourday that is just plain rude, totally untrue and unnecessary and sounds like a comment from a jealous person that makes herself feel better by putting everyone else down. Let it roll off you.

cat scan showed a bit of folly growth, got to go back again tomorrow for more blood tests. It's all a bit confusing. I might be in on Saturday, might not. I might need to take the trigger shot, might not. It could be 72 hours after trigger, but not necessarily. By the time I'd finished asking the nurse questions I gave up and figured I should know by the time I get my blood results tomorrow afternoon so will find out then and stop thinking about it. Either way, insemination is likely to be Saturday or Monday, so not long to go..

Tanny that's a lovely, positive story

Oh barking the waiting sucks and it's hard when you don't have a simple answer. Hope all becomes clear tomorrow. Like you say, at least you know you don't have too long to go now whatever day it is! X

Good luck barking. All that waiting at the hospital must be really hard. Thanks so much for asking about lining. That's useful to know. I really hope the GP listens to my concerns. All my fingers crossed for you this weekend.

ourday pay absolutely no notice of your colleague. Sadly some women seem to enjoy judging what others eat. I've always found it deeply weird. It says more about her than it does you. Ignore. I'm sorry you're worrying about not feeling sick. I know how hard it is not to worry but symptoms will come and go and some days you'll feel completely normal. It doesn't mean anything is wrong. When is your next scan?

Good luck with the shagging cloud .

Thanks for your lovely thoughts tanny. I so so hope you're right. I'm so broody, I just want my baby already.

Sorry your cycle is stressing you out flen. It's one of the many joys of miscarriage isn't it. Not only do you have to deal with grief you also have to deal with anxiety and confusion about just what the hell your body is up to.

Speedy thread again..likely more multiple posts coming up..

ourday that colleague needs to be ignored. How rude, arrogant, and patronising. Makes me angry. I agree with what others have said re symptoms, but I understand how hard it is.

brummie a couple of weeks, or however long it takes, means more to you than it does to work. You need it, you take it. Protecting your health is paramount. I have cried each day I have been at work since mc, and am finding it very hard. I'm only back for fear of using up all my sick time, and it helps to keep things consistent for DS.

Tanny I loved your words, they brought a little hope to me and a lot of joy with the thought that you will hold your little wriggler in your arms soon. 34 weeks! Doesn't seem long since you were having your first scan..

cloud up to bed with thee..don't forget to take DH with you.

baking still thinking of you. Your strength is admirable. Any word on MRI or appointments? Hope your DH is ok too xxx

belle you are doing well, you really are. I hope the movements pick up soon, I'm sure they will.

longest its great that you are getting excited - I can see your logic!

Everyone I know is annoying me apart from DS and you ladies. Friends, family, everyone. I feel overly sensitive and neurotic to all comments made or not made, and am going to try to keep a low profile for the next few days in RL...

Bootles my lovely. Have been thinking of you and your karotyping results. Hope they come soon. Has prof brosens been in touch at all or are you all just waiting for those?

Sorry to those struggling with work. I went back very quickly after mine as tgey were physically not bad but it was months before I felt I was doing a proper job so I probably should have taken longer.

Hope everything continues to go well with your cycle barking and good luck cloud.

Great news on your appointments tiny andtanny.

Hope baby faith is continuing her good spell and that appointment is on its way.

Wow 293 posts already! Can't name check everyone but in summary;

Big hugs to those ladies struggling after the last MCs. It really is pants but it will get better- honest!

For those ladies that are pregnant, please keep us updated and we'll cheer you every step of the way, you are our inspiration.

For those currently ttc either naturally or with some medical assistance, hoping that the little swimmers and eggs meet soon and do their thing at the right time, in the right way x

And lastly for those ladies on an enforced break like me, keep the faith and it will soon be our turn to be like bunnies ??

Morning Ladies,
Sorry I've been a bit quiet - work's been busy and I've been marking piles of books - its been doing my head in. I've been lurking, though. Hope everyone is holding their nerve with tests, waiting and worries.
Belle, hope you're able to get some help to enable you to relax and get some reassurance. I think you're 20 scan must be coming up? Hopefully that will provide some reassurance.
So many ladies doing so well is reassurance for us all, but its terrible for those still in the thick of it. I remember those very dark days of grief that felt as though it would never end; all I can say is, it does get better, but I realise that's a platitude. I hope you can find some hope, though.
Ourday, tell your colleague that fad diets are the very last thing any pregnant woman should be doing - her diet sounds weird, IMHO, your's is normal. Also, symptoms do come and go. I felts vaguely nauseous, but was never sick and it did come and go. Try not to worry (I know, I know, easy to say...)
Baking, thinking of you. xx
Tanny and Tiny Yay good appointments!
Cloud, good luck with the SMEP!!!
Waves to everyone else.
As for me, I'm getting a few kicks and wiggles, including a proper disco dancing session on Tuesday evening (!!), more sporadic since, but enough to ease my worries. I think that the cognitive hypnotherapy I had in the summer really has helped me to feel calmer now. For the moment... I highly recommend it as a way to get rid of some past mental habits which can be quite destructive if not dealt with. I still know what I've been through; its not erased, and I didn't have to 're-live' it, but I do think that the way I process thoughts about rmc and this pg are different, somehow.

When I say it's terrible, I don't mean because of the ladies doing well (hopefully!), just that it's terrible to be going though it - sorry if that wan't clear... :)

Just I'm so excited for you about getting movements. Wonderful!

Great news about the movements Just! Glad you're feeling calmer. X

Hi gals

My friend showed me this video when I was pregnant with DS (pre miscarriages-bliss) I think it's hilarious. I have now rediscovered it as it's a great antidote the the baby BOMB. (bootles brummie maybe this can make you smile?)

(No offence intented to you lovely heavily up-duffed ladies!)

XxCounting

Counting, I love it! Almost spat out my breakfast whilst watching it. Certainly an antidote to baby bombs....

Advice needed! Got paid today and see from my online banking I have been paid just over HALF what I am usually paid. I took a couple of days off sick before Christmas (felt crap wirh pg and so anxious - hadn't had sick time for about 6 months before that) and then 2.5 weeks or thereabouts when found out it was a mc. I know the Bradford index thing is NOT meant to be triggered for pg related issues, but I think that only relates to discipline issues. So it looks like I have gone over my sick time and not got paid. Massive stress. Anyone have any ideas about the law on these issues? I'm going to try and ring HR later....just AARrgghhh. Last thing I bloody need.