Recurrent Miscarriage Support Thread 15 - tests, treatment and trying again

[Justonemoretime]

Information, support, hand holding, tea, sympathy and a hell of a lot of combined knowledge - all welcome as we try to make sense of the RMC roller coaster of tests, NHS admin, heart ache and (hopefully) happy endings!
Please start with a recap of your stats :)

just I felt no movement at all until 20 weeks

cloud that's really rubbish

belle I have low blood pressure and passed out loads when pg with dd, hope u feel better

bootles I had really bad headaches for 2 weeks after my last erpc, hope u feel better

Finding it hard to catch up on my phone, sorry to those I've missed

Scan was fine and it's a boy

Yeay purple! Congratulations! Xx

Hooray for team blue, purple!

Are you expecting a boy too tanny? I missed that somehow.

Yay purple, good news. This 20w scan makes it so real!

Lovely news, Purple.

Fantastic news purple.

Cloud - that's so mind blowingly annoying. Really feel for you. My dh is just the same.

Naaa, I'm team yellow, but I do love a scrummy boy!

I couldn't do finding out the sex this time. At the time I thought it was just cos I was just happy to have a baby, but I've since realised it was actually fear that stopped me finding out. I knew I would find it so much harder to lose it after imagining it as one sex, that it remains a bit more abstract not knowing.

I also can't settle on a name, we've got probables, but I won't make a decision until it's here, as it all makes it a bit too real.

Bonkers I know, but I am properly damaged by all of this...

Sasha - you made me smile with your polite request to rant! Always allowed on here. It is really hard isn't it. I've been completely furious with God even though I'm not entirely sure I believe in him. Also get that bewildered feeling of 'how come everyone else can do this'. Hugs to you. I also agree with baking that mc number 2 is hard in that you're starting not to buy the bad luck line but doctors keep spouting it anyway.

Waves to everyone else.

I saw gp today. Had a very embarrassing conversation about where I was... inserting my progesterone and then an equally mortifying reminder that the thrush pessary has to go in my vagina (uh, thanks for that). So tonight I will have two pessarys at bedtime,in (tmi alert) different places. Oh the glamour In brighter news my bfp is now very clear and I aim to stop poas any day now.

Apologies for this post!

twilight . There is no dignity left is there? I had to explain that I think I have thrush because...erm...dh seems to be allergic to me!

I understand that Tanny. I agree knowing the sex makes it feel more real. I suppose that's why I want to know though can see why it would be scary too.

Hmm, some maternity clothes I ordered online have just arrived. Got them from jojo maman sale but they are a lot more Barbour jacket country-set than I was expecting. Feel like an imposter. Oh well - they fit and were cheap so will have to do! Perhaps I can fit in a bit of shooting before the baby gets here.

longest.

YYY to dH not knowing anything or getting much involved. I am the driving force for everything, he knows nothing about mc or ttc really (apart from the obvious). It really bugs me sometimes.

I'm sorry about your appointment march. That really sucks. I hope they reschedule soon. Very bad form.

sasha I know what you mean about other people having it easy. I can't comprehend it really. There's three people in particular who I know for pregnant very easily once, then got pregnant very easily again, and each pregnancy led to a baby. I just can't wrap my head round how different our experiences have been.

My nephew is a month older than my first would have been. It's hard. In fact she sent me a little movie of him today and I haven't managed to watch it yet. Somehow seeing him grow up makes it worse.

Paris is awful. I cried this morning. Just seeing the faces of those victims. Cartoonists. It's just awful.

Found out today an ex client of mine who was a total cow has just left to go on maternity leave. In the week I was due!! Another current client has also just gone on mat leave. In the same week! I have to organise a gift. Fuck.OFF

I know what you mean Monten. What gets me is mn threads or people's conversations about age gaps or number of children and people are assuming they'll get pregnant first cycle or whatever and stay pregnant and you want to scream "it's not as easy as that!" and then it turns out of course it's precisely as easy as that for them. My two friends who are due their dc2s in the next month started trying a full year later than me.

The naivety is so annoying isn't it? A friend got a bfp and was shouting from the rooftops about how she was going to have a baby. I wanted to sit her down and explain that no, she was just pg. Having a baby was not an inevitable outcome. She's just given birth... Another friend and her husband went travelling the world for a year before they 'tied themselves down.' They got back a year ago. Baby was born 3 months ago .
Countless other stories like it, all successful pgs, all exactly when planned. Makes me very, very .

Ah yes, it so annoys me the "what age gap is ideal" conversations... Ahhhhrgh

And the "I could never have an only child" people

Grrrr

purple that's such good news!! Enjoy enjoy enjoy.

Tanny that made me cry. I don't know why exactly, it just did. I can totally imagine the fear of finding out the gender. Your tie dye outfits are going to look so munchy on a girl or a boy. Bring on your mat leave.

twilight no apo!ogy needed - if we can't talk about the indignitys we experience, here - then where?! Great that the bfp is bigger and fatter.

Thank god its not only my OH who is slightly dense about TTC/pg/mc. I just don't understand HOW he isn't desperate to understand every little thing. I'm well able to do the thinking alone, but it does frustrate me.

Oh monten sorry you have to organise a gift. Just get vouchers and be done with it. Hope you don't have to actually go shopping for her..avoid avoid avoid..

To the conversation about the 2nd mc, mine was bloody awful. I felt so ill I knew it was alive, and had had a good scan at about 8 weeks, so really wasn't expecting any problems. When we had the shite 12 week scan it really really knocked me for 6.

I'm not having a great day today.HOW and WHY have I lost 5 babies now? What the hell am I going to do if the results show its chromosomally normal? As I was on Coventry protocol for high NK cells, there's nowhere else for me to go from here. No other treatments I would be prepared to try. Maybe adoption. Maybe one last try (highly likely as I can't seem to stop). I'm really pretty good at getting on with it, and tomorrow will be another day, but I am just fed up right now. Sorry for the moan.

And the news, and Paris, I'm ashamed to admit I can't watch the news at the moment. I hate myself for that, because I know there are much worse things happening than are happening to me, and I should be up to date with current affairs, but I can't bear all the awfulness.

Aaargh barking that couple who travelled the world hacked me off and I don't even know them! It's so unfair.

I found out today that my very best friend has had an ectopic pregnancy. I didn't know she was pregnant. She's lost a tube. They had been trying for 2.5 years. They're due to start IVF in April. My heart is broken for her.

And I feel so awful bcos I had an inkling she was pregnant and I was jealous

Bootles, lovely, biggest of hugs. If the results are chromosomal normal it doesn't mean another try is inevitably going to result in failure. Baking was told she had a 60% chance of success on the right protocol so there was still a chance it wouldn't work first time. But of course I understand it would be terrifying and emotionally draining to put yourself at the mercy of the gods again. I can only offer hugs and a listening ear.

((Monten)) don't beat yourself up. You being jealous (which we have all felt) had no bearing on what happened to your friend. I hope she makes a good recovery and ivf works for them.

gosh, this moves so fast! congrats purple! Great news. Glad the line is getting thicker twilight. Sorry, no I've missed lots. Waves to everyone else

Thanks longest, really appreciate your words.

monten absolutely agree with longest, there is no reason for you to feel bad. Give yourself a break. Hope your friend is as ok as she can be.

cloud that is total shit. It sounds like you have been psyching yourself up for this for quite a while so to get such short notice of cancellation is just pants. I have no helpful suggestion for how to feel better but you have permission to break stuff, shout and drink copious amounts of wine.
purple yeah!!. Ooooohhhh now you can really start thinking about names. This thread is moving so fast it can be easy to lose track of scans, so sorry if I have missed anyone.
bootles five MCs and no explanation must feel like some kind of awful cosmic conspiracy. We can cure cancer, repair beating hearts, transplant lungs, but the understanding of MC is pitiful. I so hope you get some answers that will allow you to move forward. Ignorance is so dis-empowering.

It is very reassuring that so many of you have had funny turns, and aren't that freaked out by it. Lets face it, it is pretty easy to freak us lot out. Was lovely to hear the heart beat. OH really struggling with accepting that this might really happen. He is really worried about the impact on me if things go wrong, so when events like today happen, I find I am the one to reassure him! I suspect he may be a bit shit in the delivery room. he freaks out when I have a headache.

Thanks belle. Yes funny turns definitely normal - your body is doing amazing stuff. If in doubt always get checked though. Ah its nice your DH worries so much about you - though I get it can be tiring to have to be the one to reassure the whole time. Sorry to keep going on about DS, but I truly thought OH would be worse than useless during delivery - to my surprise he was great. Your DH may suprise you...

Congratulations purple

Finally sat down after rushing around today. To cap it I nearly fainted when having my bloods taken and I'm not even pregnant so there's no excuse!

Cloud- that's officially rubbish about your appointment. Hope you've had either ?? or ?? to commiserate.

Bootle & Moulton- big hugs. Tomorrow's another day xx

Yeah purple,glad scan went ok

Tanny- not sure if you've realised but in the last week your posts are definitely becoming more positive. I know you won't settle until bump is here but I hope you're getting some enjoyment with the pregnancy... You deserve it ??

Great news purple now you'll have to get thinking of names

Sorry I haven't been on much, working loads. Will try to catch up with all at the weekend. Hugs ladies xxxx