Recurrent Miscarriage Support Thread 15 - tests, treatment and trying again

[Justonemoretime]

Information, support, hand holding, tea, sympathy and a hell of a lot of combined knowledge - all welcome as we try to make sense of the RMC roller coaster of tests, NHS admin, heart ache and (hopefully) happy endings!
Please start with a recap of your stats :)

Brummie, sorry that they're not able to get you sorted sooner. It's stressful enough without the extra waiting. I hope they can get you sorted out soon so that you can start to heal and recover.

Hi Mewling my 2nd mc started off naturally but the pain was horrific and so much blood and it really frightened me and I still had to have an ERPC. But after that the bleeding and pain pretty much stopped overnight in comparison to mc 1 which was natural. Not as horrendous but I thought I would never stop bleeding.

So based on past experiences ERPC is right for me - but I know it's not for everyone. The strength of people who do it at home... But there's a lot to be said being in own bed

I have had 4 erpcs (one was a repeat) over the years. I have had a very big bleed in the local pub one time, but didn't actually mc. I have heard that the pain of mcing at home is very difficult. I did pass a my whole uterus lining in one go as a big lump (still no idea what that was all about) once in my early 20s during my period, and that was blooming painful. If its anything like ask scary or bloody as that, I'd take the erpc every time. Plus they give you morphine, which is very nice indeed while it lasts.

Happy new year everyone. My stats: me 26, hubby 29. No children. Pregnancy #1: Conceived Feb '14, mmc in April '14 (bleeding at 11 weeks, scan showed baby died at 5 and a half-6 weeks). Pregnancy #2: Conceived again in Sept '14, mc in Oct '14 at 7 weeks - scan showed baby died at 5 and a half-6 weeks. Pregnancy #3: Conceived again in Nov '14, mc in Dec '14 at 5 1/2 weeks on Boxing Day. 2014 was the worst year of my life, may 2015 be a better one!

Oh so sorry brummie hard enough without the messing abt.

Sorry to hear about your losses granny, you've had a rough road hugs. This feed is full of lovely helpful ladies who will help you through.

Waves hi to march break was great thanks and I am feeling ready for a new start in 2015. Hope you're well and enjoyed your break?

I only had one with a big bleed, but I ended up heamorrhaging in A&E with a very worried registrar as I slipped in and out of consciousness. It was quick though, entire contents passed in the space of a couple of hrs. Grim. Still have flashbacks. Sorry that was definitely in the tmi category...

All mine have been early, apart from that one, and all with really low levels of bleeding (3 days max), so I've had no need for erpc. My EPU were reluctant to book me in for one without waiting to see if I mc'd naturally.

I really hope they have space for you tomorrow brummie, the waiting around is horrible, and a complete headfuck...

This is what I had in my 20s (warning tmi alert images on the website https://ispub.com/IJGO/9/1/11420. I was on the pill at the time and never really got to the bottom of what caused it. It was v painful, though. I have since wondered whether it had an effect on my fertility later on. Have any other ladies on here ever had anything like this? Seems odd to have two v rare, unexplained uterine conditions in one lifetime and they not be connected.

Thanks for the new thread. And thank goodness it's a new year. Had enough of 2014.

Hope a bed becomes available soon brummie and you're not left waiting too long.

My stats:
Me 33. DH 32. Ds born Feb 13. Started TTC no2 around Oct 13.
Natural mc April 14 @ 10 weeks.
Erpc after right bloody mess @ 11+5 weeks early Nov 14. Back to TTC again. Gp has done some initial bloods. Still waiting for the results. Feel like I am finally feeling a bit stronger after mc 2.

ispub.com/IJGO/9/1/11420 here's the link, should work now. Just curious, really.

Hugs brummie. How difficult to have to wait another day, esp when you've psyched yourself up for it. Hope it happens first thing so you can start to heal x

That is freaky, just, and yes I think I would wonder if there was a connection, especially considering that lining was a possible issue for you.

Welcome back, all our returners, and welcome all newbies. We're proper lovely here...

Sorry they are mucking you about brummie hope they have a bed for you tomorrow morning.

Thanks all. The upside of waiting until morning is of course sleeping in my own bed and being with DP.

Every twinge though makes me worried it's starting. Just want it over now

Sasha, bloody hell, it sounds as if you're having a really shitty time, and you sound ever so low. Big hugs.

Lots of us found the second MC really emotionally hard. We know these things happen when we have one, but two really feels like a kick in the gut.

Please feel free to ignore me, but from what you've written, it sounds as if a break from TTC might do you some good. Not for a long time, but a few months to get yourself recharged, possibly some counselling or mindfulness, and some time to grieve and heal a bit. Accepting that there won't be a two year gap, and that some due dates can pass can help take some pressure off yourself. Looking after yourself and learning to trust your body are all part of this.

And spend some time with us. We have lots of helpful advice about RMC, and we are great at the hand holding stuff too.

That runaway juggernaut feeling is hideous, and I had five MCs in just over a year, so I know how it feels to want to crack on. I had an enforced break of 4 months, and then got pg with current one. I have no idea now how I would have coped if I hadn't had that time tbh.

There is light at the end of the tunnel too. We are proof that hopefulness helps us all: pg, TTC or having a break.

And we are all a bit screwy, if that helps.

Sasha, firstly a big hug and massive respect for admitting how you're feeling. It's not easy dealing with any of this. I think your thoughts on counselling sound sensible and I know from this thread, others have found it beneficial. Remember vent away on here as much as you want, that's what we're here for.

Sorry Brummie for the delay. I agree with your thoughts of epru over natural mc. Hopefully as you've not had any other signs such as bleeding yet , you're make it safely through the night. Perhaps agree a plan with OH in case the unwanted does happen how you want to play it (i.e agreeing if you want to keep any clots for testing) so you can take the stress away.

Wish I had done this once I knew I had lost my last pregnancy and whilst I was waiting to go back into the EPU clinic after the weekend, as it happened when I was alone at home with DH and was completely unprepared so couldn't do any testing. ??

Hello sasha sorry that you've been through such a lot of sadness and loss. I would echo what tanny says abt taking a break if you can, she's very wise!

It can be so hard to step off that treadmill but a bit of yoga, some counselling and a little time with family and friends can really help.

We're a lovely bunch on here and understand your pain so please use the feed to vent and share when the hurt of seeing pg ladies is too much to take. We've all had those times.

I've said on b4 and will say again that me and my brother are best friends and closer than any sibblings I know of and there is 8 years between us in age so I hope you don't worry too much abt that. Your time will come my lovely.

Have you asked the GP if he will run some blood tests to see what may have caused your mcs? They often won't test until after 3 but mine did after 2 as I had infertility issues too.

Hugs to you XxX

I had 2 erpcs, 2 natural and 1 medical...

Erpc was much better for me... More immediate closure...

Oh. Sasha. You poor thing. Sounds like you're really having a hard time at the moment. As tanny said, I also found no 2 hard because it just feels like you're waiting for it to happen again and that's a horrible feeling.

I know absolutely how you feel and identify with a lot of it, the wanting a 2 year age gap, The mummy friends all having babies, I feel the same - 4 of my antenatal friends have already had their second in the last few months and another 5 are due before may. Two of these are due the day before and the day after my 2nd would have been, which feels like a real kick in the teeth (plus one of them had a mc at same time as my first, so very similar situation to you). It's just so hard and you can't help but compare dates with other people. I know it's impossible to stop yourself from doing this, but I try to say to myself that I'm on my own timescale and no one else's matters. It helps a little. Sometimes.

I think tanny 's advice to give yourself a little break might be helpful if you can bear it. I didn't take a break after no 2 and now realise that was a mistake. After no 1, I took the pill for 2 months and I think it was the right thing for me, to sort my head out. I wish I'd done the same after 2, but I know it's hard. I'll be 38 in August and I feel that clock ticking! I think it would be good to concentrate on making yourself feel better first. Sounds like you need this at the moment. I hope you have lots of support in RL. It took me a full 9 weeks this time to feel even vaguely human again, And I know others are the same, so don't feel like you should be over this yet and ready to try again. This absolutely is a shit shit thing to happen. It's not fair and you shouldn't have to go through it, none of us should.

I've started to think about my long awaited referral appointment next week. As I know all consultants/ hospitals are different, I wondered if anyone else on here was under Princess Anne's, in Southampton and could let me know about their experiences?

Sasha, cat is right, sometimes GPs will refer you for some basic tests after 2, but most will want to wait until you hit the magic three. This feels like the most cruel thing, but statistically you still have a good chance of carrying to term next time around. NHS tests will only find a cause in about 50% of RMC cases, and a lot of us have been told it's just "bad luck". Ffs.

I had a complete meltdown after my fifth, and hid under my duvet for several weeks, and everyone here just stayed with me, it was deeply touching.

I'm currently 31 weeks, which is quite frankly amazing, and there will be a bit more than three years between this one and my DS. I'm also a really ancient 42, and quite a lot of us are more -ahem- mature than our non RMC sisters.

I still hate babybombs on Facebook, as do most of the women on here, so you are definitely not alone on that one!

Sasha- beautiful words x