Recurrent Miscarriage Support thread 13 - tests, treatment, trying again

[bakingtins]

Welcome everyone! A thread for anyone who has experienced recurrent miscarriages and is in need of information, companionship, tea and sympathy. Newbies welcome to join at any stage.

Start with the traditional recap please......

That calls for more of these...

cat that's fantastic!

Tanny I just knew your baby gro's would be tie dye. Sounds like a most therapeutic activity!

Argh this whole process is frustrating! New gp forced me to go to an ante-natal appt there today. The inanely smiley receptionist asked how many weeks I was (can't see how that's relevant to her) and gave me a bloody 'Emma's Diary' pack. The gp (different one) asked what hospital I wanted to give birth in - I looked at him as if he was completely insane and said I didn't know, hadn't thought about it, and could he please ditch the 'Emma's Diary' pack. He chucked it under the desk. He was nice actually, but said I needed to be under a consultant so has booked me in to a hospital - actually I would rather be under a different one but would have to change my gp back to the old one. He said he can't refer me to my old epu as its out of area. I know it sounds pathetic, but I just don't feel I can deal with negotiating a new epu, repeating my history, etc. They know me at the old one, I feel comfortable there. So both he and the nurse from the old epu have advised me to go via the walk in centre and say what is necessary to get a scan. I got a bit upset then and said to the gp I didn't want to jinx it...he gave me a good talking to. So that will take another few hours, and I've just remembered I haven't told work that I am going for a scan next week - however as I have no appt yet that's tricky. I am aware that I sound like a total clutz, but I suddenly feel like I can't quite manage anything. I could go back to St.Mary's, probably will, but as I had such a bad reception when I said I was considering Coventry, I have tried to avoid them. Just ARGH! Sorry for long and moany post.

just thinking of you tomorrow. Was someone else having a scan tomorrow?

Bootles, sorry you've come up against the frustrations of NHS bureaucracy today. Hopefully your new EPU will be ok, although I know its horrible to change when you feel comfortable with your old caregiver. Good luck with it all. x

I'm so pleased you have me pegged as an old hippy! My step kids and I spent a whole afternoon being creative, it was really sweet...

Bootles the overwhelming feeling is perfectly understandable, it really is. Professionals can say they understand, but your personal experiences are your own, and I would continue to do what feels right to you, even if that changes over time. Hugs x

Totally pegged Tanny :)

Thanks ladies.
Sorry, not all of my message made sense. They were saying I can go to the old epu via the walk in centre. They said I know what to say to get a scan. Its close to work too, and though I don't want to take the pee at work (I could go on non-work days, I'm part time), I just need life to be as simple as possible right now, as it's generally a bit complex! Yes I think I need to do what feels right for me, so will aim for old epu next week, and perhaps call St.Mary's on Monday.

Good luck just. And you have dr's orders to talk your way into a scan bootles.

Just got in from a gig. Feeling happy. Work is a bit mad though and supposed to be going to paris this weekend for my mum's 70th

I have today off and am going to the cinema. Dd into nursery and I need a day for myself.

Bootles do you mind me asking where you are? Sometimes they are great people in the epus. I know the royal free, my local one, has great nurses (I only don't like one of the sonographers)

But I understand about not wanting to repeat it all... Good luck whatever you decide x

tiny I'm in London..my old epu that I know is in Hammersmith, nearish to work. Prof Brosens used to work there (which is kind of irrelevant I know, but they know him and his protocols and I like that too as I find it exhausting explaining that bit to medical professionals). My new gp is further south. I guess as long as I get the scan next week and start the clexane, that's step 1, and I'll take it from there.

A day to yourself sounds lovely. Treat yourself as much as you can. Still trying to settle DS into pre-school so I think it will be a while until I have one of those days. He still refuses to speak to any of the adults. Your 20 wk scan must be soon? So hard to keep up there's so many scans going on.

Glad you enjoyed your evening longest, and sounds like you have a busy few days. Does your mum/family know you are upduffed?

just good luck x

bootles Sounds like there are lots of nhs system complications at a time when your brain is already really full - blimmin' nhs. I echo the others, think it's so important to do what feels right for you.

Glad to hear your good news cat, and thinking of you today belle and just

Got my thyroid results back yesterday, they all look normal. And, thank goodness, a negative pregnancy test this week so I am all set for my blood tests in December. Have been having odd pains here and there this week, and feeling quite tired and sad. Maybe AF approaching? I find it hard how this process provokes a lot of body second-guessing, like getting out of sync with myself. Eugh.

All ok today, measuring 8.3 but I did think 8 last Fri was a bit over doing it. I think its fractions of mms and the sonographers are more or less conservative with their measurements. They're not worried, anyway. Been told to book in and also they are trying to wiggle out of my 10 weeks scan and get me to go to 12. I know they're under pressure but hopefully I'll get that extra one anyway.
Good news on the neg test and blood results, Flen, hope you can start moving forward now. x

Just that's great news. Don't let them wiggle out of 10 weeks!

AF just arrived! Apparently I am still in tune with my body, despite not feeling it...!

Brilliant news just. Hopefully you can persuade them to give you the 10 week one, just for your own peace of mind, not because of needing it off course

That's great just Booking in is a great sign of confidence. Good for you!

Hi everyone
Went to the GP yesterday to "register" my pregnancy so if it all goes pear-shaped i can get into RMC as quickly as possible. Got my flu shot now my arm is hurting like a b*tch!
I'd been thinking I'd go back to UCH for antenatal/birth as I heard good things from a friend who gave birth there and my care was great when I had my erpc there a few months ago, but GP was very strong on going to St Mary's Paddington which is also pretty close to home. Just wondering whether anyone had thoughts about either? GP used to work at St M so is biased but said they have a full time emergency gynae so I'm more likely to be able to see someone if I do start bleeding (although I'll still need to be referred by GP argh). I was also thinking (hoping?) that if I'm already in the St M system then I might be able to get into their RMC more easily. GP also said with my history of 2 mcs I'd probably be consultant-led at St Marys. Argh, seems like the silliest thing to worry about where I'm going to give birth at this point (I'm only 4wks).

So happy for you just xx

Charlie sorry I don't have an answer for you, apart from pushing for the service and team you want. What happened to "choice" in the NHS?

Just over the moon that your scans continue to be good. My 10 weeker was the one that I managed to get EPU to agree to as my consultant was away. I think I'm on their Christmas card list anyway, so they seemed to want to help. Hope you get to keep the appointment.

I've caught myself thinking stupid jinxy thoughts, so someone slap me hard. I posted a picture of my bump yesterday on fb and then instantly thought the movements dropped off, and today bought some newborn nappies (making me cry in the nappy isle) so obviously they won't be able to find a heartbeat at my midwives appointment today. Gah, honestly, fucking basket case!

Nice side of halibut heading in your direction tanny , hope your appointment goes well.

charlie I'd decide based on where you prefer to have scans etc in the early stages. You can move to a different hospital later in pregnancy if you want to give birth somewhere else, minor admin hassle is all it is. My experience is that once you are past your danger point from a RMC point of view they will treat you as 'normal' so you'd only be consultant led if there were other risk factors. If you are midwife led it increases your birth choices. I was consultant led with F only because of previous issues with ds2's birth, and I only saw a consultant once anyway.

Thanks tanny and baking for weighing in... I've booked in to the FMC in Harley St for a scan at 8w anyway, so I will probably not be getting early scans on the NHS unless I start bleeding or have other problems. I'm going to be abroad for wks 6 and 7 anyway.

DH's preference is to go private as he's not British so regards the whole NHS system with skepticism but I figure I can make that decision a bit further down the line. I've never had any probs with the NHS myself, but I was googling both UCH and St M and there seem to be horror stories for both!

just Fab! Have a chat with your mw when you have your booking in, she might be able to get you that 10-week scan (if you have the apt soon enough, that is) - mine has always been great with that! At least one thing our RMC history can be useful for...

Charlie I agree with the others - go with what you want and are comfortable with!

Flen Onwards and upwards. Look at it this way - your body is doing what it is supposed to, which is always a good thing! Fingers crossed.

I will have an interview about my promotion next Thursday. I'm 10 DPO, AF is due Monday, and I am planning to poas on Sunday, if she hasn't shown up until then. My temps are still high... I'm still going with the -ahem- widely accepted notion that going for a promotion will increase my chances of falling pg with the worst possible timing

Thanks for the halibut baking, feeling a bit more normal for the next 10 seconds for the time being...

Had a bank MW who was a bit rubbish, but heartbeat and wiggling were very obvious. No concerns and on to 28 week appt. Obviously didn't tell her I was a basket case who thought her baby would die because I posted a picture on fb. I save that for a bunch of people I don't know and the world wide web...

tanny that's because we all totally think that's normal behaviour!

I've just decided that if I MC again I'm going to be completely unprepared regardless of whether I tell people, or don't tell people, or get excited, or try not to get excited, or whatever. Nothing I do can change the outcome, and it's going to be a huge bucket of sh*t regardless of how much I try to prepare myself.

So today I decided I will wake up every morning and say a giant "today I am pregnant", then went to John Lewis to get a bit excited looking at cribs. I didn't enjoy the last pregnancy at all as I was so worried, and it didn't affect either the outcome or how I dealt with it, so I might as well be as positive as humanly possible this time around.

So pleased to hear scan was ok, cat and read others' good news. And yes, I am doing fine thank you to everyone who checked in. But yes, boozle, it's pretending everything is fine on the school run that's the worst, and dealing with all the other bazillion things life is throwing at us at the moment. Not least impending visit from father in law . But really, I am in an ok place as I never thought I'd get DD2 and I did, so I have a lot to be grateful for. Can't name check everyone i'd like to on my phone so sending positive vibes all round for scans, interviews, hospital choices etc.

I'm another who needs a halibut I think - I've decided I am completely loosing the plot! Stupidly googled area of bleed inferior to gestation sac and the first four or five hits all said it meant an increased chance of m/c. Spent until three in the morning shitting myself about it and then was next to useless at work today. Think I am actually going insane - every twinge, ache and new bit of spotting is sending me into a complete freak out. On top of that my consultant has cancelled her clinic next week so panicking about that too. I'm a loony tunes!

Think it doesn't help I'm entering my danger zone of 8-10 weeks and no scans or appointments. Any calming advise very welcome!

boozle can you book a private scan? Might help :/