Active discussions

Please or to access all these features

Talk
Miscarriage/pregnancy loss

Find support and share your experiences on our Miscarriage forum. See also legal rights and support after baby loss.

Original poster

Recurrent Miscarriage Support - tests, treatment, trying again - thread 10

988 replies

bakingtins · 02/06/2014 08:07

Welcome everyone - pull up a chair! A thread for anyone who has suffered multiple miscarriages and is in need of information, moral support, tea or sympathy. Newbies very welcome.

Can we start the thread with a recap of where we are all up to again, please?

OP posts:
longestlurkerever · 18/07/2014 09:12

Good luck Tanny. We are all rooting for you!

Triple I don't know either but a lot of these signs are like reading tea leaves- could mean something, probably means nothing at all. Maybe the cervix just changes like that after very early pregnancy and it is coincidence that that is when your mcs happened before? I know how hard it is to shake the feeling of dread but I really hope you get some reassurance soon.

twilightstruggle · 18/07/2014 09:53

Morning

Thinking of you today Tanny.

Triple - I cant advise re. cervix positions, never really 'got' that aspect of things. Fingers crossed alls well. When I was last pregnant and panicking about it I tried a new strategy for coping. Initially I was trying not to panic which obviously wasn't working, so I decided to go with the panic but take it to the extreme. So I ran around the house 'panicking' hysterically, kind of over acting it. I can't really explain it but it worked. It was almost like mocking the panic. Then any time I panicked later I was reminded of this really funny image of me running round looking strange. It didn't take the fear away completely but it did take the sting out of it a bit. Oh I can't explain it and now look weird I think I read it in a self help book if that's any defence for my wierdness!

Tiny - good luck with counselling. I didn't share everyone about how I'm feeling on the first session but still found it helpful. I didnt, for example, talk about how bitter and twisted I've become but focused more on the sadness. And I think I'll find it easier to open up as time goes on.

longestlurkerever · 18/07/2014 10:14

Twilight That makes sense to me!

Re bitter and twisted - it is very hard not to be jealous eh? Am sure your counsellor wouldn't be shocked. I find myself expecting other people's pregnancies to end in miscarriage as it has become the norm for me, but there's a fine line between that and hoping they do, to make me seem less of a freak, and I worry about where my feelings are leading sometimes.

Am also thinking what if I do get pregnant and then find having two little ones hard? After making such a drama about everything (most of my friends know now) I will never be allowed to moan about a sleepless night again! Having said that I did genuinely enjoy dd's baby days and Nat leave. Sleeplessness was a bummer but sometimes I found myself moaning about it more than necessary so as not to sound smug, as overall I really loved that time of my life.

JBrd · 18/07/2014 12:20

Thinking of you today tanny

triple I'm sorry that you are worried, I have no words of wisdom to add either - I have never ever checked the position of my cervix, pg or not! Stop poking around down there, woman, honestly, that way madness lies Wink

tiniy watching with interest, as I'm going to have my first session the week after next as well. Really no idea of what to expect, but I'm hoping that the counsellor will be a bit more clued up Grin

Triplespin · 18/07/2014 18:00

Jbrd - just to explain myself the only reason I discovered was because I am using crinone - a progesterone gel - which gets clumpy and I need to clean up unfortunately. Anyway i am not thinking about it for now. Going to enjoy the weekend!

Longest - totally get that. I was in a restaurant last weekend where a baby refused to stop crying. I was so annoyed! Our restaurant visits are so peaceful with our 5 yr old and we can go pretty much where we want - as long as the iPad comes with us!

TinyTear · 18/07/2014 18:26

A bit of an issue as had to have E with me.nursery called me as she had a rash and I needed to collect her.

(She is OK and I think it's allergic reaction to potassium sorbate or something like that)

Anyway she wasn't a proper counsellor but a wellbeing counsellor or something. She told me of a place in the city where I can get counselling called city pregnancy (shall try and get the link later) that is free and independent

She will also refer me to a overeating workshop in September as comfort eating is one of my issues. She will also get back to me with a plan of action for the anxiety and depression.,.

tannyLoo · 18/07/2014 18:47

OK, I'll catch up properly once Gus is in bed, but briefly... a heartbeat and measuring 6+5! Photos in my purse and feeling a little lighter. Grin

Prof B reckons that women's bodies just reset themselves sometimes. Confused

Back for another scan in a fortnight and keep taking the meds.

Catlover2014 · 18/07/2014 18:48

tiny sounds like you're going to start getting some help then. It's great that the specialist counselling is free where you live, make the most of it!

Triple is crib on really messy? I start it around day 16 and am worried about that.

My brother's son has been born this afternoon. I've had a good cry in the little bedroom where I have always imagined / visualised a future child. It's going to be hard but I have to accept I can't have children and other people can. At least there's someone to leave the house to when we pop our clogs! Xx

Catlover2014 · 18/07/2014 18:51

Crinon sorry. Hate being on my phone!!

Catlover2014 · 18/07/2014 18:53

Whoooop Tanny that's great news!!! So happy to hear that :) xxx

Original poster
bakingtins · 18/07/2014 18:54

tanny that's wonderful news! Grin

OP posts:
Original poster
bakingtins · 18/07/2014 18:57

catlover you must have had a tough day, very hard when your emotions about a situation are so conflicted. Less of the "I can't have children" though, your nephew will have a cousin one day soon Flowers

OP posts:
JBrd · 18/07/2014 18:57

Fab news tanny! GrinGrin

twilightstruggle · 18/07/2014 18:58

Great news Tanny. Grin

longestlurkerever · 18/07/2014 19:24

Great news Tanny! Delighted for you!

cat congratulations on your nephews. Allow yourself a little cry but I agree with Baking. Your fertility treatment has worked before, it will again, and I refuse to believe there isn't an answer to this miscarriage business, even if it just means persevering till we get there!

I agree about the resetting. My mum had years of infertility then me and my sister no problem.

longestlurkerever · 18/07/2014 19:27

Tiny Glad your dd is ok. I hear you with the comfort eating. Feel huge atm. Have the rest of you cut out drinking while ttc? I wasn't drinking while pg obviously but Mr Rai reckons I should cut it down now too.

TinyTear · 18/07/2014 20:13

Yep. Haven't drunk properly in ages!

Tanny great news yay!!!

TinyTear · 18/07/2014 20:20

www.citypregnancy.org.uk

No idea if they will be any good but I have sent my info request form...

Triplespin · 18/07/2014 20:30

Tanny congrats!! Brilliant news and hope that it can work. I am sure after crossing this first hurdle all with go well from this point on.

Cat - yes crinone is a bit messy and see you do need to clean up after a few days (was told to do in shower). It can be clumpy and you definitely need a liner.
Is cyclogest similar?

TinyTear · 18/07/2014 20:45

Cyclogest was fine. Suppositories, so one at night and one in the morning with no leaking at all.

I only had one week last cycle... But didn't get on so badly with them

Catlover2014 · 18/07/2014 20:48

Thanks everyone for being lovely. Things will pick up one day I'm sure. I must be more positive. The good news is brother didn't have the name we wanted, be relief on that front!

Tiny that link looks really good. I would certainly make the most of that. Looks like there will be a nearby support group for you there!!!

Triple cyclogest was a bit messy but not as bad as crinone sounds. Is yours 8%? Do you apply one a day? X

tannyLoo · 18/07/2014 21:38

Tiny, that looks really good. So brilliant that services like that exist.

Cat, if I can get this far, any of us can, including you! Keep the faith x

Triple, I think I prefer the cyclogest by the sounds of it. I use it as a suppository (up the wrong-un) and it's not a lovely process but no mess afterwards and no waste.

Thank you, thank you, thank you. I really can't believe it has a heartbeat, and that I'm further than I've been for the last 5 pregnancies. Still a long way to go, but just now it feels good.Smile

barkingtreefrog · 18/07/2014 22:01

Hugs cat it does feel like that sometimes. Just been at a wedding with bumps and babies. This is the third wedding I have attended while still physically miscarrying. It sucks. Glad they didn't take your name though Smile .

longest I gave up alcohol when we started TTC. That was over 2.5 years ago. Now we're not ttc while waiting for appointments (earliest RMC is end of September and we might not even get on that one, so no idea when we might be able to do our next IUI cycle) so I've fallen off the wagon. Had gin and wine to get me through the wedding!

barkingtreefrog · 18/07/2014 22:01

Tanny it must feel so good to finally see a heart beat! Grin Grin

Catlover2014 · 18/07/2014 22:07

Barking falling off the wagon won't hurt, sounds like you needed a blow out. Hope you get your RMC appointment through soon and you can make a start. Waiting for appointments is so tough xx