Recurrent Miscarriage Support - tests, treatment, trying again - thread 10

[bakingtins]

Welcome everyone - pull up a chair! A thread for anyone who has suffered multiple miscarriages and is in need of information, moral support, tea or sympathy. Newbies very welcome.

Can we start the thread with a recap of where we are all up to again, please?

Due on on Friday. Got spots and wrinkles. Mother Nature is just too giving.

Just thought I'd share...

Isn't she just, tanny - I'm just coming out of AF from hell. First AF since my mc, and I thought I'm going to bleed dry, it just wouldn't stop! Five days super-heavy bleeding, I could barely keep up with changing pads/tampons. And that included a stay at the PILs who don't have bins in their bathroom/loo
I know I should be glad that my body is going back to normal, but I can really do with a bit less 'normal' than this...

lancashire That sounds harrowing. Have you thought about what you want to do next?
I was wondering if the progesterone had masked my recent mc (first pg where I took it) - everything was looking great up until 12 weeks. Stopped the progesterone shortly after that, and then the mmc was discovered at 17 weeks, baby was measuring about 14 weeks.
But what would the solution be? No progesterone? Continuous progesterone?

triple Fighting consultants...wow, just what you don't need. I thought that heparin is a very well established treatment in pregnancy by now, in combination with the steroids, why won't Mr S give you heparin?

Morning Ladies,
Triple, fighting consultants, just want to lock them in a room together to argue it out, don't you?!
Lancs, so sorry you're no further forward. Hope you find a way forward.
Tanny, one step closer...
JBrd, grrr no bathroom bins! Just what you don't need! Hope you're feeling a bit better now?

As I understand it, progesterone can delay a mc being expelled from the body, so if you are taking it you might have a later completed mc than if you weren't once the baby has died. It may also help with better implantation (apparently), so preventing some MCs. I doubt very much that it will have been a causal factor with yours JBrd, since you had stopped taking it a few weeks previously. It won't sustain life if there is a chromosome problem. Prof Q is convinced that my last one (Turners syndrome) would have been fine if it had been 'normal' because the progesterone got me further than the two without. Good luck moving forward.

Convinced I'm out this month. One more test tomorrow before stopping the progesterone.

Lancs, I also got the 'normal' from Prof Q. Did you get any treatment plan at all from her? What happened next?

Just realised I might have to postpone my Prof Q visit.

Made the appointment on Friday and Saturday was put on antibiotics for tonsillitis.
Just emailed to find out if a week on penicillin would affect the results as I don't want to waste anyone's time.

Let's see what they say...

Tiny - oh no I hope you don't have to postpone. It's horrible having to sit out another month.

Tanny - great going. Not long to go before you get your results and hopefully you will have a treatment plan in place!

Jbrd - AF sounds awful. Mine was the same after mc1. Second cycle it became overly light. So you never know.

Just - how long did it take you to get pg previously. Fingers crossed tomorrow is good news. I will also be testing tomorrow this is first cycle post mc, so not holding out much hope.

I think there is a lot of professional rivalry and so they want to rubbish anything the other one suggests. Also this also shows there is so little known about mc and so no established treatment / protocol. I have been to various consultants and they all say diff things. Whilst confusing I wanted to have all the info and then make up my mind about what I wish to do. I don't want to be pushed into any direction unknowingly.

Bad day today with all the crying. Think the d and c has finally brought an end to this episode and I feel likei did a month ago when discovered I had miscarried. I kinda wanna run away for 6 months does anyone else feel like this? Just pack my bags and my dh and travel.

Tiny hope u get to go this month, I don't think it should make a difference to levels but what do I know!

Jbird-ugh sounds awful. At least it came on time and fingers crossed next one is less distressing

Trying Oh yes. Some days can just be sh**. When it all comes crashing down and you face this abyss of sadness. I would give anything to be able to get away from it all, preferably for good!
On those days, you have to take one step at a time... Bury yourself in work, if you can. Have you got a friend you could talk to? I always found that really comforting.

I am currently not in a very good place, emotionally... I really had started to think quite seriously about adoption, or even the possibility of looking into IVF with donor eggs, because I honestly don't know if I can face ttc anymore (because there will never be a guarantee that it'll work next time!). But then DH said that he is not keen on either because we'd 'be opening ourselves up to a lot of heartache'. As if it's been a walk in the park so far!
So I now have to face the fact that unless we try 'naturally' again, I might not have a chance for any more children, and the sense of loss is tearing me apart.

DH keeps saying how happy he is with DS and that he would not have a problem if it just stayed like this. In fact, he was gushing about it all to the PILs at the weekend, when we visited.
I know he doesn't mean to be insensitive, but I feel incredibly alone - it's been barely 4 weeks since we had the mc, and it's all hunky-dory for him - whereas I am desperately trying to climb out of this hole I am in and fail miserably every day.

I think I need to dig out that leaflet about the free counselling sessions that I am now entitled to...sigh.

I'm sorry jbrd. I mentioned on thread 9 that maybe it was too soon after ur recent loss for ur dh to be sure how he felt? Men deal with things v v diff to women and he is prob just not showing his hurt in the same way you do. That alone feeling is horrible. Feels like no one understands the pain....

I do have 2 excellent friends I speak to about d often but neither are anywhere near trying for kids so I feel like they for fully understand a lot of what I feel but they r very kind and supportive

I have a very responsible job and feel like it's just adding more stress to my life. I have to really focus and concentrate on important descisons and right now I could do with mind numbing tasks..

A lot of women find counselling helpful-def try get some.im having acupuncture today I'll let you know if it does anything or my mood! X

I'm just about to go for my acupuncture. Both that and counselling have helped in different ways. Really sorry you're both having shit times. Bugger mn and have some ((hugs))

yay, Kerri just emailed and penicilin does not affect results

we're still on!

Tiny good good good! Hope you're feeling a bit better by now. I used to get recurring tonsillitis and I know the relief once the amoxicillin kicks in only too well!

Afternoon everyone. Hope everyone is doing as well as possible.

Tiny - glad the penicillin doesn't affect the results and hope they kick in quickly and you're feeling better soon.

Trying - hugs. I had a fantasy about moving to New Zealand yesterday. I'm not sure what I think will be different there.
I hope that you and Tanny both enjoy your acupuncture. I've never had it before but would also be interested in whether it helps you feel better.

Jbrd - I'm really sorry you feel so awful. I used to have a therapy during a period of depression about five years ago. Weirdly drove past my therapist today (not stalking him honest; it transpired after we started therapy that we lived on the same road - boy did that get talked about!). I wanted to jump out of the car and corner him with my tales of woe. I think I might actually re-start as I could do with the support at the mo. I'm a big fan of a bit of therapy to be honest.

Its probably still really raw for your DH now, even if he's not showing it. He's probably just trying to regain a sense of control over things that feel completely out of his control. Perhaps in a little while he'll be able to start exploring other options if you decide not to TTC again? My DH and I are looking in to adoption as our back-up plan at the mo as I mentioned up-thread. DH was initially quite reticent about the idea, but the more information he was mysteriously exposed to about it can't think how that happened the more he came round to the idea and is possibly more keen than I am now. Its a scary idea if you've never really thought about it I guess. Its also generally really difficult making any shift from how the future was supposed to look to seeing an alternative as 'just as good' or even a possibility. I always like that 'Welcome to Holland' reading for helping me think about it. Its technically for parents who have children with special needs, but I think the overall message is transferable.

Acupuncture was good! Not sure if it's placebo But I feel more positive about life after the sessions...
mint-have u decided to stop ttc or are just looking into options?funny u say nz-exactly where I think of going to. To be honest if I didn't have a morgagte or a inflexible job I would prob go-but like u said what would it achieve? I would get preg and just miscarry there!? (Did I just say I was feeling more positive about things post acu?!)
Tanny glad u can go this month.every month lost in this situation feels like forever so glad there's no longer delay.
I'm not ttc till august dh totally disagrees and can't see why I want to see mr s and also give body a break....but he is reluctantly going with it(not like there's any other option)

Hello all

just lost another baby at 6+2, after losing my little one at 14 weeks last October. this is the third baby I've lost now....

can anyone direct me to info on tests / anything that I can do to help things? I'm 42 and so v scared....

Thank you!

Hey daft. Very sorry to hear about your losses. Sending hugs and . I would go and see your gp and ask them to refer you to your local recurrent miscarriage service. The miscarriage association does a good leaflet on recurrent miscarriages and the tests which tend to be done. Can't link as on my phone but I'm sure if you google it it'll come up. It is scary, but even now the odds are in our favour.

Trying - No we haven't stopped TTC officially. I think I'm very much in two minds about it and we're exploring other options. At the mo I feel like crying every time I think about TTC and thinking of adoption makes me feel happy and optimistic so its confusing. It's all still a bit raw and I'm still a bit miserable really, but ultimately I suspect I'll come round to TTC over the next few weeks.

NZ here we come!

Hi daft I'm really sorry for ur losses. Like mint said ur gp will refer you to local clinic. They will take loads and loads of bloods checking out causes. Only 50 percent of people have a treatable cause the others-no cause found/nhs doesn't fund/no one knows the cause yet. Hope ur emotionally and physically holding up its a hard time but hopefully u can find some support on here.

Mint-I'm sorry u feel that way. Maybe revisiting therapy would be a good idea? I feel that I'm lost without hope-and if I have hope I can keep it together. You need to Find ur hope! Wether it's via ttc or adoption or stopping...hope ur ok. Hugs. I've cried so much today I'm hoping tmrw is a better day!

Just wanted to say congrats Bakingtins on your baby! So lovely to see good news on here. How are you getting on?

A lot of you ladies will know my story but here goes. Me and DH both 34, TTC#1 for five years. Two missed mcs this year on fertility treatment of Letrozole and progesterone from day 16 PO. Suspected v early mc last year when on clomid. Now waiting for blood test results for thyroid, autoimmune, thrombophilia and cyptogenetics. Also being retested for ovulatory disfunction.

Feel utterly desperate to have my baby and totally panicked about how much time had passed with so little progress. Considering trying one last time but if that fails we'll probably try to adopt.

XX

HI daft sorry you find yourself here. The MA leaflet mentioned is here and as mentioned the standard tests identify a cause in about 50% of cases. Many of us have drawn a blank on these tests and either pursued referral to St Mary's in London who run more detailed tests, or the NK cells/immune route which you'll see mentioned a lot on the thread (mostly seeing Professors Quenby/Brosens in Coventry)
There's a helpful (but tear-inducing, have tissues ready) documentary on youtube about RM which is a good place to start

Catlover we are good thanks. Faith is having some trouble getting going with BF and at the moment not putting on enough weight, so am feeding and expressing every 3 hours round the clock - a lot of midnight Mumsnetting going on! Back to be weighed later today so hope she has made a gain....All the heartache has been worth it though. (((HUGS))) for those of you having a bad time at the moment.

Morning! Its a(nother) bfp for me. I emailed Profs Q and B last night and got a reply straight back (Prof Brosens must have been at his desk).
Basically, as I think you said, Baking, the cyclogest can inhibit conception. I guess its a matter of fine tuning between receptivity and selectively, and the cyclogest tips some of us too far in the wrong direction.
So, now the idle threat I made of doing a 2 mile charity swim in June will have to be followed through. It will be the longest I've done. Yikes!
Waves to all, welcome newbies, sorry you find yourself here. Good luck!

I'm an idiot. Its a BFN. Hold fire on any whoops you may have let go! [Blush]

Oh no just - so sorry to hear that and that you have to do the run now! I hope prof q is able to provide some help.
It was a BFN for me too this morning, not even an evaporation at 10dpo. Have had the most horrible AF like cramping all night but no AF. Otherwise I would be panicking about my short luteal phase.

Jbrd - you are going through a very difficult time and all dh are very similar. They find it much easier to move on. I hope he comes around to ivf or adoption. If you could afford it then maybe ivf with pgd where they test for any chromosomal abnormalities may work? I am thinking of that - though major changes happening at work and I will find out end of this month if my job is under threat.

Can't decide whether to take something new or wait as redundancy package could turn out to be 5 months pay due to no tax on redundancy pay! Wouldn't mind sitting at home for 5 months and being paid for it lol.

Tiny great to hear you can still carry on with your appointment!

Trying- I have the odd day like that too. Its hard work keeping a lid on it. Was ok for a while, but it's unravelling much more now- which seems to be the wrong way round. Yeah, some days the tears just roll and roll. I hope you have a better day soon. Running away is a lovely idea. Peace and quiet and not having to hold it together all the time so others don't feel uncomfortable. And no cooking or housework either!

Triple and Just. I was BFN yesterday- and day before. I was wishing so much it had that line I was almost seeing things. But I knew really... and today AF arrived today. It was just as I arrived in a dash for a passport appointment - had a wee sob in the nearest loo before going back in the waiting room and did best to look normal which I think I managed

Daft, I'm so sorry for your loss. I found a lot of information on these threads, which was the most helpful thing of all. I asked to be referred to a recurrent miscarriage clinic which was around 3 months to come through. I hope your referral doesn't take too long.

Baking, hope the BF gets easier soon. Hope you're enjoying lots of cuddles with your little one :) Thank you for the link to the documentary- which I hadn't seen before.

warm hello to everyone else. x

I don't know if it helps, but I think I had about three months of feeling incredibly low after my last mc. I wasn't depressed, I've experienced depression before and it's not the same, but still wondered if I'd ever get back to normal. So many tears and days hiding under the duvet, and a whole load of physical symptoms like colds and arthritis flare ups. It was horrible.

I ended up having to make some radical changes to shake up the status quo, so I resigned from my job and am setting up my own business. The sleepless nights are now panics about that and I don't dread mornings anymore.

I guess I've run away without going anywhere.

My last mc happened in Feb and I almost feel ready to try again.

Although today I'm having an off day as af arrived this morning after a day of spotting yesterday. A full day early two if you count yesterday and gives me a 13 day lp. I'm hoping it's linked to the biopsy and acupuncture I had on Tuesday and not another issue.

Hey ho. As just said, another day closer.

How are you just? What happened?

Baking poor you! I had similar issues with Gus, and was just knackered from expressing and bf. I felt like a walking pair of boobs... He was just too laid back and used to fall asleep after 10 minutes. I'm sure it'll get better soon.

Hi Tanny, nothing dramatic happened :) just a typo!
Getting my training hat on for my 2 mile swim in just over 2 weeks (I am a regular swimmer, so not training from scratch!)
BTW the biopsy brought my AF on a couple of days early, too, so don't worry about that. I think its normal. x