Recurrent Miscarriage Support - tests, treatment, trying again - thread 10

[bakingtins]

Welcome everyone - pull up a chair! A thread for anyone who has suffered multiple miscarriages and is in need of information, moral support, tea or sympathy. Newbies very welcome.

Can we start the thread with a recap of where we are all up to again, please?

jbrd
Last time I was lucky that my appointments were on Wednesdays which is my work at home day. So I just went there at 12 and counted as lunchtime

This time I just told my boss I have a GP appointment at 4pm Friday and then will see if the counsellor can either see me at another time or another GP practise I can get to on Wednesday...

If not I will tell my boss what is happening. He knows about the MCs and has been my boss for 10 years so knows he can rely on me.

Ha, twilight! That's exactly what I did! Was signed off sick until the pay ran out and then resigned. I was honest and open about my MCs and that I was (quite obviously) TTC. They started monitoring my performance, pulling me up in meetings for being a troublemaker, and changed my line manager four times in five months. Since I left, no one has asked me to do an exit interview. Can't think why!

And this is a third sector "supportive" organisation!

I just found this, and it's moving... [[ Molly Ringwald on her struggle to have a child

gu.com/p/4vvq2]]

Not sure the link will work, it looks a bit wonky but I'm on my tablet...

Bums.

Thanks for that tanny, I've got tears running down my face! Link here if anyone is feeling like crying.... I think it's true what she says about it breaks you as a couple or makes you stronger.

triple they won't scan me again yet as the count is still going down. Back on the raspberry leaf tea and had more spotting this morning. I just wish I'd got a 0 before going on holiday, but I won't be tested again now until I come back, which is the first day of my new job. My fresh new start isn't going quite as planned!

Well done Barking! I gave up and had a snooze..

tripple sorry to hear about your worries. I think cramps are very normal so hopefully it's just your bab settling in. Keeping fingers crossed for you.

jbrd hope counselling is useful. It's certainly helped me these last few weeks.

all I'm trying to be strong today. My sister in law is being induced tonight with her 1st, my 1st was due two weeks from now. Happy for them but wish I could have kept mine too. They would have been like little twins having a little cry now but don't have the energy for a big one.

tanny and barking video link was sad but great. Gives us all hope! X

cat That's a tough one, and I don't envy you! With friends, at least you can try and keep a distance to new babies - with family, not so much. Wishing you lots of strength!

tanny I've not watched the video (am at work), but - Molly Ringwald?!? In my head, she'll always be the princess from The Breakfast Club (oh, how I love that film)... Surely she can't be all grown up and talk about miscarriages... Now I feel really old

I'm having another session of fertility yoga tonight - really hoping I can keep my act together and not burst into tears again!

Jbrd - hope the fertility yoga goes well. I didn't yoga during my first pg and it was very enjoyable. However are your yoga classes with other pg women? I can imagine how emotion it would be for you. Can't you go for regular classes where you don't see any bumps?

Tanny - what an awful workplace but it still takes guts to quit!!!

Just - I read your posts on the posifrickentivity thread. And I agree - we should really count our blessings as there are so many people going thru worse than us.

Cat - thanks for the kind words. It's a tough one with your sister-in-law. Hard not to stay away, but hopefully she will understand if you decide not to meet up too often in the early days due to your mcs. Does she know about them?

Thanks triple and jbrd. They know my situation so I think they will be understanding. I think I'll just be kind to myself and go when I'm ready.

triple when's your scan? X

I really hope they do show understanding cat, I'm lucky in that my SiL who gave birth a week before our first mc doesn't live close and we only see them a few times a year. She had a mc before both of her dc but shows very little understanding for our situation, maybe because they never struggled to get pg, I don't know. Is it your brother's wife or DH's sister?
Sending strength!

Hi barking that's rather cruel :( Some people seem so unaware of other people's difficulties.

How are you today? Has the spotting stopped yet?

SIL is my brother's wife we don't speak much but I talk to my brother every day. There was a horrible moment a few weeks ago where it turned out they wanted the name me and DH had set our hearts on when we'd only been dating a few weeks. I've explained I would be heartbroken if he choose that name and why, fingers crossed they won't as it will make it even harder if they do.

X

Oh no, cat, I really hope they had other options and reconsidered. I was worried that close friends of ours were going to use our preferred name. They got pg just after I mc last time. Fortunately they didn't (we knew it was his favoured name but not hers!) However, unless we have a boy (I felt really strongly both times that it was a boy, no idea why) it's completely irrelevant!!

No spotting since this morning. I don't want it to stop yet, I want a big gush first so I'm confident it's all gone! I'm torn between packing pg tests so I can check for a bfn while we're on holiday, and really not wanting to take anything ttc related so I can have a proper break, as it's not going to change anything! Best pack the pantyliners though....

Tanny - I've upgraded my 'dicks' comment to something far harsher. It never ceases to amaze me how awful people can be to other human beings. Well done for getting out of there. Hope you're somewhere better now.

Oh god Cat. I feel for you. How tense. I have a girls name and I hadn't really thought about it but it would be really difficult if someone had it. I hope they find something else that they love.

Where are you off to Barking? Sorry if you've said up thread. Hope your body is good to you and gives you an 'easy' time of it.

Going to watch this tear inducing video now...

Whereabouts are people? Obviously you don't have to say but I was just wondering. I'm in east anglia and was curious if anyone was local to me.

Thank you all of you for the thoughts, really kind.

So...possibly I am more confused than ever.
Radiologist said:
There is a heartbeat, though a little slow (a HB?)
There is a 4mm embryo (at EPAU on Monday it was 5mm, no heartbeat - go figure)
Refused to comment on any SH
To stop stressing as it would affect things (argh!)

The scan involved the LONGEST silence., I was lying there trying to plan when I would need to take meds, or if I would mc naturally etc. She double checked the hb with her colleague - they were sure. Am shocked.

Midwife said:
Dates it at 5+6 (am meant to be 7wks)
She doesn't care about my LMP
She doesn't care about using ovulation sticks
She doesn't care about the size of sac vs embryo (sac looks 8+2 wks)
HB is 150-160, can't comment on what radiologist said about it being slow (I genuinely think she made up the heart rate)
She will get a consultant to ring me re my clexane concerns (he didn't)

I got a bfp on CD 25..none of this makes sense. If I had a bfp, it had implanted, so it should be 7 wks, right? But its measuring 5+6. Am trying to let go a bit and let nature take whatever course it will - not really managing that.

cat great news re tests!
Tanny Friday is not far now
triple its such a stress isn't it, questioning all that your body does. You already know it can all be normal..just get through each hour/day at a time, and the week will pass.
just how frustrating re clexane. Hypnotherapy can't hurt.
jbrd good for you with the counselling

Cross posting..

cat understandable that your SIL going into labour will be tough, wishing you p!enty of strength. Your plan to just approach in your own time sounds good.

just what is posifrickintivity?

barking hoping that bleeding stops soon

Bootle that's tough! Your head must be spinning, with a mixture of hopefulness and sadness. I've known women experience this and it go either way, so I don't think anyone can predict the outcome for you. When do you next have a scan?

I think you're right to try and take it as it comes, but I know how hard that is.

At the moment, my anxiety about the scan on Friday is increasing, although I'm also feeling quite detached from it all. This is the first one where there are no feelings about a "baby", just a "pregnancy".

Bootle, posifricinivity ( or however you spell it) is a term used by the ladies on the TTC after mc thread to pull ourselves up if we ever feel like moping and wallowing in our sorrows. :)
Sorry you're still not clear on exactly what's what. How frustrating they aren't really listening to you. Hope it resolves (and is a good outcome) soon. Limbo is horrid. X

Hope sils are reasonable, yoga is bump free, bosses are supportive and sickness keeps manifesting. Sorry for not naming - on my tiny phone screen.
Hugs to them that needs 'em! X

Twilight I'm a really long way from you! I'm in Somerset (deepest darkest)

I'm in Bucks.

bootle what a day! I'm keeping everything crossed for you and think the heartbeat is a good sign. Did they say they will do another scan soon? I hope the next one shows good things. I know you must be anxious.

Thanks all for your kind comments about my situation, it will get easier with time. Just going to take it a day at a time!

I live in the West Midlands.

Bootles - what difficult, limbo-inducing mixed messages. Have everything crossed for you. Heartbeat is good.

We're all over the place. That's a shame. There go my fantasies of getting together for yoga wine binge

twilight that would be so nice if we all lived close to each other.

My friends now sit in two camps and I don't fit in either:

1. I have children and it's all I talk about and I cannot associate with those who don't

1. I don't want children and don't understand why anyone would go through treatment etc to get them

We need some kind of sesame street song 'e is for empathy'... "Say, Mrs snuffaluffagus, you sure do look sad today, will you help me understand why?" "Well, Elmo, its like this... There are people in your neighborhood who have lots of babies, and then there's... Well, let me put it like this... (Breaks in to catchy song that makes everyone totally get it).
I reckon it could catch on...