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Miscarriage/pregnancy loss

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Recurrent Miscarriage Support - tests, treatment, trying again - thread 10

988 replies

bakingtins · 02/06/2014 08:07

Welcome everyone - pull up a chair! A thread for anyone who has suffered multiple miscarriages and is in need of information, moral support, tea or sympathy. Newbies very welcome.

Can we start the thread with a recap of where we are all up to again, please?

OP posts:
bootles · 14/07/2014 20:43

Thanks everyone for your kind thoughts, it really really helps.

Not great news at EPAU today. I should be either 6+5 or 6+6 (quite unbelievably I wrote my LMP down as two differing dates on the calendar at home and in my diary, a day apart - duh).

There is now a visible embryo of 5mm, but still no heartbeat. 5mm and no heartbeat is generally a bad sign.

The bleed came from a sub-chorionic haematoma, which can (though not necessarily) signal an impending mc.

Given the whole picture, I am definitely thinking its game over. Have St. Marys scan on wed, and booked for another in EPAU next week.

I am totally fed up now. Its like an endless cycle. I want to scream.

I am so desperate to give my DS a sibling, I can't bear to think of him growing up alone.

just re your blog about the bleed - how heartbreaking that you had a good scan, and then a loss due to Turners. I then read all your other blogs too. Heres hoping you get to write one soon about successful pregnancy after losses.

cat I can't say I have ever considered an egg donor..what are your thoughts about it?

jbrd glad you had a better day with DS...mine nearly scooted over a major road today - can't even think about it. Suffice to say that scooting on pavements is now banned - park only.

triple thanks, it was my theory that clexane can cause bleeds, though who knows if its the cause this time

twilight I agree with baking (and thanks for your thoughts for my scan baking) A GP visit is the way forward. Think the idea is that they lift you a little so you can more effectively work through what is going on. I have no doubt the GP would prescribe you something, and can advise on TTC on them.

God my posts are too long..

bootles · 14/07/2014 20:45

Thanks longest

barkingtreefrog · 14/07/2014 20:48

So sorry it's not looking good bootles Thanks . I'm glad you're being well monitored so you'll not be left wondering what the hell is going on. I'll be thinking of you on Wednesday.

Catlover2014 · 14/07/2014 21:03

Oh bootles I'm sending lots of hugs to you right now.

I am so so sorry that the scan was not more encouraging. I hope you will get some answers when you go on Wednesday. I know you must be hurting right now.

I am sure you will have another DC in time but please try not to worry about your DS in the meantime. My DH is an only child and is very balanced, happy and well adjusted!

Your DS has a fab mum in you and that's all that matters to him. Please don't be hard on yourself.

Hugs and stuff xxxx

Justonemoretime · 14/07/2014 22:41

Bootle, so sorry it wasn't better news. Hugs, and be kind to yourself. Xx

longestlurkerever · 14/07/2014 23:20

Sorry Bootles. It is horrible to be in limbo too. SH was what cake on the other thread had and she has reached 12 weeks now. I hesitate to post that though as I know stories of other people's good fortune aren't always helpful if you're feeling certain that's not your fate. Here is a hand to hold as you go through whatever the next few days have in store.

I know what you mean about wanting a sibling for your ds. That is what hurts the most for me too. I could accept a much bigger gap if I knew for certain I would get there in the end but am not ready to accept yet to accept she might always be an only. Sorry also about the scooter. Dd ran into a road yesterday after some fly away paper. Car wasn't very close and moving slowly but am still teary thinking about it.

After a few days of feeling brighter I have really been hurting today. Feels like proper grief in the way my previous miscarriages haven't quite. Guess I just need to work through it. Hoping my appointment will give me a lift but unsuspecting it might be an antiviaus. Might not even have any bloods taken if my hg levels are still raised.

longestlurkerever · 14/07/2014 23:22

Am suspecting it might be an anticlimax, even.

TinyTear · 15/07/2014 08:45

Sorry been away a bit but work cracking down a bit on internet use and phone signal is a bit shite...

Sending some positivity to everyone needing it. I won't tell stories of someone I know bla bla as in my dark days I just focus on the fact that is not ME

In my news have my counselling booked for Friday.
I know it will have to get worse before it gets better but still feel quite a bit low and anxious...
And thinking everything is about me ( such as the email to the whole office about internet policies in my mind was all about me)

I would also love a sibling for my daughter and sometimes seeing my husband in the playground with other kids I know he'd love a boy.

She is 2.5 so not too old but cleaning poo filled pants make me wonder if I really want a new one Grin

Sigh...
One day up one day down. Bloody rollercoaster of emotions....

Catlover2014 · 15/07/2014 10:16

Counselling will hopefully help tiny it sounds like it's hard going for you at the moment. Try to stay positive if you can. You have a DC so you know your body CAN do this!!!

My AF has come today and I've cried a little. 34 with no bambino and 1st due date coming up in just over two weeks. On the plus side I start my fertility treatment again. Hope we can be very lucky this time! X

JBrd · 15/07/2014 10:47

bootles So so sorry that you didn't have more encouraging news! The limbo is the hardest. But I would say that at this point, you still have hope! In my experience, finding a heartbeat at 6 weeks is very much a hit and miss - a lot of sonographers (and by now, I have seen and spoken to many!) say that 6 weeks is too early for a definite Yes/No answer, as the findings at that stage are so much depending on the individual. It's just too early, and many places won't even scan you at 6 weeks because of that. Even if you are certain of your dates, early pregnancy is still very unpredictable.
That and the fact that they found a cause for the bleed sounds actually quite positive! Crossing everything for you.

tiny Good luck with the counselling - let us know how it goes. Is your DP/DH coming with you?

Rollercoaster here, too. I suddenly got really grumpy and annoyed with DH last night (poor bloke didn't know what hit him out of the blue). I think I'm becoming so resentful that he seems happy to leave it all as is and stop ttc, and that he seemingly has no issues getting over the mcs every time they happen. I know that it's different for men, and he certainly takes care now not to get excited or emotionally attached when we have a BFP. Wish it was so easy for me. He never asks how I feel, never notes any due dates, never acknowledges the daily struggle that I have, trying to keep going sometimes.

I dug out the leaflet for the counselling last night and have started an email to them. Well, sort of - at the moment, I've entered the address and a subject line, that's as far as I got. Need to think what to say!

TinyTear · 15/07/2014 11:46

Phew just had my appraisal at work and it went well. One weight off my back...

cat I was 38 when I had my daughter. There is time. I am 40 now. 41 next month... Eeek...

I am going by myself to the counselling. It was the same last time. But I did talk to my husband about it all after each session.

My husband is funny not in a ha ha way. The first MCs he just moved on and didn't really talk about it. But the 4th really hit him in a way as I think he thought having our daughter had sorted things out.

Also I think before we had her he just didn't realise what having a child really entailed and he now wants one more...

And at his work more people are having babies and he is having to field questions...

But he never remembers due dates or stuff like that...

TinyTear · 15/07/2014 11:51

jbrd do send that email... It helps x

Triplespin · 15/07/2014 13:07

Bootles - I am sorry to hear what you are having to go through. I agree it may be a bit early - there have been stories of no heart beat at 6 wks but they have found one at 7wks. It could be a case of late implantation or late ovulation - is there a chance of that? Fingers crossed for you - this waiting period is the worst. I wish this TTC business was easier.

Tiny - glad you have your counselling session booked. It will be nice to be able to speak to someone irl. Any news on your biopsy results from Coventry?

Tanny - haven't heard from you in a while. You must be 6 wks now !! Yay that is a new milestone right? When is your scan. Fx for that heartbeat at your review.

barkingtreefrog · 15/07/2014 14:33

For those who had a 'natural' mc and it dragged on - how long did it drag on for? It's now 3.5 weeks since the bleeding started (I was 6w+5 pg) and my levels are still not down!! I remember the last mc dragging out, but I can't remember for how long. I'm still getting occasional clotty type spotting so it's not 'finished' yet. They want me back next week for another blood test but I'll be on holiday....

Back on the raspberry leaf tea!

Triplespin · 15/07/2014 14:42

Barking - with my latest one it was 2 months of stringy clotting type discharge until AF finally arrived. Hcg was not down to zero for about 1.5 months! First mc - hcg was down to zero when mc started.

It can really vary.

barkingtreefrog · 15/07/2014 15:19

Thanks for the reply triple, it's crazy. My body has been trying to get rid of this pg for longer than I was pg for!

JBrd · 15/07/2014 16:04

barking When did you pass the sac? Usually, this classifies the mc to be 'complete' and (for me at least) counts as Day 1 of the WTF post-mc cycle. My natural mc started with bleeding at about 6 weeks, but as far as I remember, I didn't actually pass the sac until 9 weeks... After that, I got a BFP after 2 weeks and AF showed up again pretty much exactly 4-5 weeks after passing the sac.

If it is dragging out, you might need to get checked for retained products...

barkingtreefrog · 15/07/2014 17:06

I passed the sac in the first week, before they scanned me again. At the scan they said the sac had gone but showed me where you could see stuff that needed to empty. I didn't have AF last time after the mc bleeding for almost 4 months (and only when I'd started acupuncture to bring it on).

cocomom25 · 15/07/2014 17:22

Hey Ladies.... Hubby is at work FINALLY!!!
Bootles so sorry your in limbo hoping I'm not being to optimistic by saying I hope you Ovulated a bit later....your LMP is not as important as that date and can have little one show a week behind in growth. Hugs

Longest Vitex affects mood.... It made me feel like a new person but since I've stopped it been more depressed. Pay close attention to how your feeling. Hope your lifted by this visit.

Tiny yay to counseling!!! We can all use some most days. My son will be in diapers for some time and I think about the same thing! lol

Jbrd I know what you mean about not knowing what to say. I would say I need to talk to SOMEONE!!! My husbands very easy going and doesn't understand that if we have trouble conceiving now it is likely to be worst with time. Go talk, I may find some counseling myself.

Cat Hugs and I'm holding hope for this new cycle! Good luck

Not very hopeful 10dpo and nothing showing. Today is usually my cut off and af shows in 2 days! I'm not mad surprisingly! I decided before this cycle to hold off until January when insurance kicks in for proper testing.

cocomom25 · 15/07/2014 17:31

Barking I hope things sort out soon.... I have only had cps and one live birth so don't know what is to be expected. Wishing you a more speedy recovery.

Catlover2014 · 15/07/2014 18:23

barking hugs to you. I had spotting for about a month after my natural mc. If it's not stopped in a few weeks I would go back to your GP just to check you're ok. I would imagine it will have stopped by then.

coco just had a voice mail from the genetics department and now crapping myself that this is the cause of our issues. They have shut for the day but I shall call in the morning. Maybe we'll finally have an answer!!

Has anyone heard from tanny? I hope she and bab are ok!

XxX

Catlover2014 · 15/07/2014 18:55

Tiny just read about your DH, oh bless him. So sad for the men too, I think we all too often forget that. Sending my hugs to you both xxx

tannyLoo · 15/07/2014 18:56

Sorry, I've just been lurking for a few days. Trying to get to grips with my changed status, and all the highs and lows involved. Thanks for thinking of me Triple and Cat!

I'm 6 weeks today and still definitely pregnant. A combination of meds and ms means I'm feeling rough, and I'm also so petrified of mc that my nerves are making it all worse. It's hard, as I'm happy to be having lots of symptoms, but boy they are intense, and I'm feeling very old, sick and tired.

I spoke to Prof Brosens this evening and he wants to keep me on the same treatment plan, which is good news. I'm also seeing him for my scan on Friday, and if that goes well it'll definitely be the furthest I'll have been.

Hopefully I can carry some hope for some if you lovelies, and get through to the other side.

So sorry to hear that things have been tough. I will try to join in a bit more, promise!

Catlover2014 · 15/07/2014 19:07

Whoop tanny that's great to hear Smile

Very glad you're ok and still feeling pregnant. I know it's awful of me to wish sickness on you but you know the reason why I so totally do.

Xx

TinyTear · 15/07/2014 20:14

Glad to hear it Tanny