Recurrent Miscarriage Support - tests, treatment, trying again - thread 10

[bakingtins]

Welcome everyone - pull up a chair! A thread for anyone who has suffered multiple miscarriages and is in need of information, moral support, tea or sympathy. Newbies very welcome.

Can we start the thread with a recap of where we are all up to again, please?

Tanny so pleased to hear of your symptoms!! Don't know much about chickenpox but sounds like you'll be fine from what you've found online. Every day that passes is another day closer!

Barking glad they are helping you at rmc but sorry to hear about your HCG levels. They don't even test that where i live. When would it normally go down by?

X

Welcome Twilight. Congratulations Triple and well done Just.

Am glad about that Barking. Is good when you feel supported by drs. Am feeling pretty similar to you. Bleeding over which is good but actually feel worse in many ways than when I first found out - like there is a heavy weight on my chest and I am not sleeping well. Saw my pregnant friend again today and can't deny I am jealous this time. She is coming up to her 12 week scan.

Did any of you do anything to mark your babies' passing? I haven't till now but am coming up to my due date for my second mc (don't really count the first as it was such early days- disappointing at the time but I am over it except insofar as it represents another hurdle in my chances of another healthy pregnancy) and think I would like to do something small to mark the occasion but not sure what.

Does anyone know how long it might take to get my embryo results back? Am hoping I might have them in time for my consultation next week.

Hello everyone, I haven't been on for a while as I was having a break

Congrats tanny

Congratulations triple hope you get plan sorted

Well done just

Fx tiny

barking hope your hcg drops and you don't need any treatment

Waves to everyone else

I'm sure I'm pregnant but have my head in the sand a bit, 4 days late and loads of symptoms but I just can't bring myself to do a test yet and make it real. My tests were all fine so if BFP I will just need to hope for the best but I have the fear already especially after the mp.

longest don't know about length of wait for embryo results. When was it sent off? The waiting is so hard isn't it?!

I so know what you mean about jealousy. My bro's gf is having a baby just before our due date and I can't stand to see her. Also suspect a girl at work is pregnant and dreading watching her bloom while I can't hope to :(

Our first due date it coming up and I'm going to plant a lemon yellow rose bush in the garden. On special days (like b'days, anniversarys and milestones) we go to the lakeside where we got married and put down a single white flower. We both cry and people look at us but I don't care. It feels right to have an important spot where we can reflect and pray.

XX

Hi everyone, sorry for butting in, but I just saw this thread up in "active topics" and it brought back so many memories. I can't believe you're on thread 10 already.

I joined MN back in January 2011 after my fourth mc and immediately joined this thread. It helped me so much...the information I got from here was invaluable and I'm indebted to all the lovely women who gave me advice and a shoulder to cry on.

I had my DS in jan 2012 and then my dd in 2013. The mc's are a blurred part of my life. I still think about my "would be" children and some scan and due dates I remember clearly .

I just wanted to pop in and give you all a bit of hope. Don't let the doctors fob you off with those "it's just bad luck" comments.

Thanks for sharing milky. It gives me hope to hear good stories but I am sorry for the loss I know you still feel. It never completely goes away does it?! Did you have treatment / support to get your healthy pregnancies? X

longest our edd date was during our honeymoon, we treated ourselves to a nice meal out and drinks. I wanted to make sure we were doing something special (the rest of the time we cooked and ate at the campsite, we were in a campervan going round NZ). I decided against a physical memento as it would be too painful on a bad day, and would risk turning a good day into a bad one if I was wobbling slightly. I will never forget, the due date is etched on my mind and the experience of being pg and hopeful for that short time is something I treasure, but for me I'm worried a constant physical reminder would keep the dark thoughts at the front of my mind at all times. I deliberately avoided calculating my edd this time, all I know is that I would have been due in February. Hopefully this will mean I won't fixate on the date as I didn't cope well leading up to the first one.

cat it's different for everyone but I was expecting it to be negative by now given how early I was, how much I'd already bled and that the second scan showed most of it, including the sac, had already gone. The levels are dropping as I was over 3000 last time they tested, so they're not concerned, it's just taking a while.

Thanks for all the replies.

Thanks milky. I agree it helps to hear stories of hope. Congratulations on your lovely dcs.

Thanks cat. I might plant something too, though am awful at caring for plants. Filled the garden with flowers last week kind of in response to the bad news but was nervous about getting one special thing in case I killed it. Your lake sounds lovely. I would like to have somewhere special to visit. Will try and think of somewhere. Most places that are special to me are in Scotland which I don't get to visit often but am sure the smoke has somewhere suitable. Sometimes on the anniversary of my dad's death if I can't make it up to Scotland I take dd to the library as my dad was a librarian and always used to take me. Even that helps, as it's a little thing done in memory.

Embryo was sent for tests just over a week ago.

Ps Tanny You will be fine re chicken pox. Ring your gp but they will just ask if you have had it and then say you will be fine. Is only a small risk even if you do catch it- a friend of mine did in the third trimester which is supposed to be the worst but the baby was absolutely fine.

cat it turned out I had a severe vitamin D deficiency. I was put on a high dose course at week 6 when pregnant with DS. All my mc's were around week 7-12, so I just got in there. However I was also on low dose aspirin and high dose folic acid.

It was a really scary time and I was constantly online doing research from morning til night. I remember finding a research paper showing coEnzyme q10 diminishes with every miscarriage and that selenium and magnesium deficiencies also cause miscarriages. I was on a massive load of vitamin tablets throughout that pregnancy. I don't know if they worked or not but it was something to focus on during the 9 months.

Longest I did this and this:
Hope you find a way that makes sense for you. X

Thank You longestlurkerever

Thanks Just. That's lovely.

longest you may find it helps just to mark it. A quiet moment of reflection makes a difference. It could be anywhere. I find church is a good place to go too, even though I'm not that religious.

milky I'm so pleased they managed to work that out and get you what you needed! My mcs follow years of unexplained fertility and finger in the air treatment so it's no surprise to me that they can't explain them. I'm always doing research but nothing ever gives me the answers I'm looking for.

XX

longest I marked the EDD of each MC by choosing a charity gift that was something to do with babies/childbirth (e.g. midwifery training or vaccinations for newborns) It helped a bit to think if I couldn't safely birth my baby I could help another....
I think my embryo results took about a month, though that might just have been when there was an appointment available.

milky thanks for popping back - lovely to hear your success story.

purple duly noted. Let us know when/if you decide to test. If you do get a BFP you'll be in good company this month, a little group of you to keep each other positive.

Wow, what a busy thread, I can barely keep up! Welcome to the newbies - you will find lots of support and handholding here.

tanny Glad to hear that you are feeling symptomy and sick (this must be the only place on earth where one can say this!). Try not to let your mother get to to too much - it's your decision, your baby. She'll get round to it eventually. Do you have siblings...?

longest Another way of marking a mc-related date could be by buying a special piece of jewellery. I bought an angel wing-shaped charm for my charm bracelet - originally it was meant for my dad who passed away a few years ago, but by the time I finally went to buy it, it also became the charm for all my mcs.
I've also planted a beautiful rose after my second mc, but I can completely understand your hesitation with plants, I'm not too good with them either!

triple Congrats! Did you manage to sort out the conflict between your consultants? How awkward! I bet you feel like shouting 'Just give me the drugs' at them.

I'm trying not to think too much about our consultant appointment on the 22nd. What do I do if they tell us again that it was something that no one can do anything about?! DH and I need to talk, but it's so hard... I feel so tired of it all - I wish someone could do the work for me, all the paying attention, charting, OPKs, CBFM, dtd, 2ww...urgh. Just the thought of having to do all that again! I am so tired of it all.
I do think that I want to do the NK cell testing, but I can't decide whether to wait until we've had the post-mortem, of if I should just go ahead and contact them now.
Has anyone actually ever been referred to Prof Q in Coventry? And who else does NK cell testing, eg in London? I'm just trying to plan the logistics...

Thinking of you Purple. I understand that feeling, and JBrd too. I can't believe I have spent 18 months of my life obsessing over ttc and there is still a long and gruelling road ahead with who knows what at the end. Must get a grip or I am going to waste dd's childhood wallowing over the family life that might have been rather than the one I have.
Think she is ok. She is funny and confident and nothing like me as a child but she already stresses about who is or isn't her best friend and she isn't even 3. I'd love her to have a sibling or cousin even that would always be there for her, but maybe that's not the role of family any more.

Jbrd - for nkc testing in London - miscarriage clinic (shehata) is the most common one. I went to him as I couldn't wait for two AFs to see the Coventry team. However from the experiences shared by others, the Coventry guys sound better (and cheaper). I would make an appointment now and then cancel later based on the outcome of your other results.

Tanny - oh no! What timing for chicken pox. Yes hopefully there is nothing to worry about. How are you finding doing the clexane injections?

Purple - good luck when you decide to test. We are all here for you.

Longest - most of us are driven by the need for a sibling for our kids. It is hard not to get obsessed by it all and when you look back - we have nothing to show for all this time. your DD is so small. I hope by the time she understands the concept of "sibling" - you will have one on the way!

So busy! I want to write loads of replies but I'm on my phone so am bound to miss some out...

Milky thank you for coming back, and I'm really interested in the vitamin thing. I think I might add some more supplements as I'm rattling already with meds!

JBrd, if you do decide to get nk cell testing, then I really rate Prof B, and Prof Q is apparently lovely too. Coventry is a bit if a schlep but worth it, for my money. Still early days for me, but I feel supported which is a big plus!

Triple, no, I have no siblings, which is possibly part all of the problem! The injections have their own place in my routine, I come up to the bedroom, watch something on the computer and take it slow. I find that if I slow the whole thing down it hurts less and bruises are the size of a dot with a chubbie. I'm always a bit woozy after injections, hence being on the bed.

I managed to get through the day in my mum's company, but I think it was augmented by receiving a tax rebate for £1888 this morning!!!

DS is sleeping like a baby, so I suppose I should try too, in case we have a restless night.

Tiny, it's Tuesday now!

Knew I'd get it wrong! Sorry JBrd!

Longest I have dates in August, October, November, June and July. I purposefully don't remember specific dates, but I do take long walks by the sea and spend a few moments breathing deeply. I am atheist and it can be tricky to find a ritual or ceremony that meets my needs, so I just make it up. I am a silversmith and wear a stack of five simple rings that I made, that way I remember them together.

BFN for me.
I'm actually happy with the result for now...

I'm sorry tiny hopefully it will give you a bit more time to get your test results back. It'll be BFP next cycle I bet!!! X

Purple, JBrd, Tanny, Longest, Cat, Baking, on my (stoopid) phone, but good to read all your posts.
Milky, thanks for giving us all hope, is vit d deficiency a cause of mc, then? I had that back in Oct. No idea if its better now.
Have a good day, everyone. X

Sorry to hear that Tiny. X