Recurrent Miscarriage Support - tests, treatment, trying again - thread 10

[bakingtins]

Welcome everyone - pull up a chair! A thread for anyone who has suffered multiple miscarriages and is in need of information, moral support, tea or sympathy. Newbies very welcome.

Can we start the thread with a recap of where we are all up to again, please?

Also on my phone and struggling to check everyone (sure I'll get the hang of it).

milky - thanks for taking the time to come back and share. It does give hope. Very interesting to hear about the vitamin d deficiency.

longest - we went for the lighting a candle in a church idea. Though I'm not religious we did find the experience very peaceful. I find the notion of something physical anxiety provoking as I am forever losing things! I find tins' charity donation idea lovely too.

Waves at everyone else husband demanding his phone back and I have to face the world

I can't get my head around trying for a second child. I came off the pill in December 2011 and we're still trying for number one. We've both agreed that if we manage to have one baby we're not putting ourselves through this hell again for another (and couldn't afford to pay for the fertility treatment anyway!)
Out of interest, how many of you trying for number two struggled for number one as well?

barking I know what you mean but wonder if I'll say this now and then feel sad when I can't have another if I ever get a first that is.

I think the urge to have children must be so strong. Doesn't matter if it's #1, 2, 3 or 4!

X

barking I had 3 MCs before number 1

And 2 since... She is my miracle...

Tiny sorry but not sorry! I think having a plan in place would have eased the massive anxiety I had last week!

My first two pregnancies were straightforward, but I lost a load of blood when I had my second, and in hindsight I think that might have been the start of something.

Weirdly, I feel as strongly about having a third as I did about my first, if not more so.

DS seems to be fine this morning, the start of the rash has gone and his temp is normal!

I am happy with the result... No need for commiserations :-)

So you think it might not be pox? Could it be hand foot and mouth?

I gave E the chickenpox jab. Weighed the pros and cons and decided it was probably the best course of action for us

Having just consulted Dr Google, I think not. He had a slight rash across his chest, with some more prominent on his clavicles, but his temp was nearly 39°c under his arm, so it was possibly heat rash.

He's been a bit snotty and has his whole hand in his gob sometimes, so my guess is it's maybe linked to teething.

Thanks all for your lovely suggestions. Your rings sound beautiful Tanny. Actually it transpires we will be by the sea for my EDD (not sure of the exact date but it is just after DD's birthday) so hopefully that will help and I will think about the jewellery idea - if I can find the right thing that might suit me as I am not religious either.

Sorry Barking I do realise I must sound a bit self-indulgent. I didn't have any trouble with dd other than a long-ish wait to conceive her and I don't think I'd be coping very well at all if this was my first ttc journey. I am hanging up my boots after dc2 that is for sure, though I was always in two minds about whether I wanted 3.

I am having a particularly self-indulgent and wallowing week. I am hoping I will get a grip once I've seen the consultant. I do appreciate dd. She is a bubbling whirlwind of bossy energy and she wears me out but I love her ragamuffin face and the way she will never walk anywhere if she can run full pelt, and the way she views the world (this week she wants to go to the zoo so she can see a real fairy!). Motherhood is one of the few things in life that I find both challenging and enjoyable - most of the time I am a lazy sod. I just want to make life perfect for her and already she is a bit lacking in family - no cousins and no grandads. She does have two grandmas and an aunt who spoil her rotten adore her.

I've just had my biopsy results back and my nk cells are 2.09%, so very normal. Phone consultation next Tuesday.

Am a bit in shock.

longest it's ok to indulge in this.

I'm having a bad day. If I hear one more girl at work say how hard it is to afford nursery fees I'm going to scream!

X

That's good news tanny. Still feeling very pregnant I hope?! X

Hmmm tanny I can guess how you feel.
When St Mary's told me all was normal I felt actually angry

"Give me something WRONG so I can treat it dammit!!"

Absolutely! I know there is something wrong, or I wouldn't keep mcing...

I guess we'll have to just keep plodding, but I'm going to get some vitamins today just in case it helps too.

i just had a follow up appointment with my GP, i actually told him i was glad i didn't get a bfp today as i can't cope with the faff of chasing results...

i am being referred for counselling for anxiety/depression but it's taking its time

Sorry tanny know what you mean. Hope the plan you're on and the vitamins you're taking help.

tiny are there any counsellors you can pay to see? There is a six month waiting list for 6 sessions on nhs where I live so I've been paying private. The lady I'm seeing is great.

X

I will wait a bit as I am getting slowly better and this would just give me a push... i did the mc couselling at my hospital and i guess i could refer myself there again, but i want non-mc specific counselling now...

justonemoretime according to my GP vitamin D deficiency can be a cause of miscarriage. It's a really important vitamin that's needed in loads of biochemical hormonal processes in the body. Were you treated for it last October?

cat tinytears tanny I know how frustrating it is not getting answers. My doctors fobbed me off with the "it's just bad luck" comment 3 times when all the other tests came back normal. The fourth miscarriage I still wasn't being "treated" with anything. So before I got pregnant again, I threw everything into my body that "could" help but not harm me at the same time. High dose folic acid apparently increases blood flow around the uterus so I was taking that too.

I really hope you all get through this. No one deserves to suffer the pain of this horrible situation x.

longest my question was prompted by your post but wasn't aimed at you in particular, I was genuinely curious as to how many people go through hell to get number 1 then decide to try again, as where I am right now I just can't comprehend it! Thanks for the replies. As cat says, you can't predict in any situation how you'd feel until you are there. Three years ago I said I'd never put myself through fertility treatment, if we couldn't conceive we'd just adopt. Then after IUI I said I wouldn't put myself through it again. And here we are waiting for more IUI following two mc's!

tanny how frustrating, it's so much easier to get a diagnosis that is then 'fixable'. Having been diagnosed with unexplained infertility (ie no bloody diagnosis at all!) I can understand where you're coming from. I hope everything works out ok and they give you close monitoring.

Tanny - sorry that you are "normal" but given they have put you on the steroid and clexane plan - it should help nevertheless. How long before your next scan?

Regarding vitamins - I am on vitamin d as well. I take the 3000iui spray which is available at holland and barrett. I am also on omega 3 (3times a day) and also selenium (5 Brazil nuts a day post ovulation). I cannot comment on their effectiveness as yet.

Barking - I had no problems conceiving ds1- it was text book but I was not even 30 then and now I am 36. So I am pretty sure age also has something to do with it. Though i did meet one mother at school who conceived 3 kids after 38 - relatively easily!! Perfect :)

Tiny - sorry about bfn. But hopefully you should have your plan soon. How long after tanny did you go to conventry. I hope it's not too long to go.

Nothing much here. Still getting light cramps which is similar to my previous mcs but who knows.

Tanny - sorry that you are "normal" but given they have put you on the steroid and clexane plan - it should help nevertheless. How long before your next scan?

Regarding vitamins - I am on vitamin d as well. I take the 3000iui spray which is available at holland and barrett. I am also on omega 3 (3times a day) and also selenium (5 Brazil nuts a day post ovulation). I cannot comment on their effectiveness as yet.

Barking - I had no problems conceiving ds1- it was text book but I was not even 30 then and now I am 36. So I am pretty sure age also has something to do with it. Though i did meet one mother at school who conceived 3 kids after 38 - relatively easily!! Perfect :)

Tiny - sorry about bfn. But hopefully you should have your plan soon. How long after tanny did you go to conventry. I hope it's not too long to go.

Nothing much here. Still getting light cramps which is similar to my previous mcs but who knows.

Thanks, yes, I think you're right Triple, I've read some research that says that regime can help women who don't have a diagnosis, and can increase odds to around 70% of carrying to term.

I have had an acupuncture treatment this afternoon, which has helped calm me down, and I always just need a bit of time to process new info.

The search for a reason and diagnosis has consumed so much time and energy, and to have something treatable seems like the holy grail. To be no closer feels really hard, but it will get easier.

Sorry to hear you're MCs remain 'unexplained' Tanny. As someone who is currently pinning all her hopes on getting The Answer from St Mary's I can only guess at how frustrating it must be. I think I read somewhere that the prognosis is better if nothing is found though? Is that right? If so I hope there's some consolation there. But and [tea] for the frustration. Are you getting regular scans/TLC from whatever service you're under?

Triple where did you get those vitamin suggestions from? Are they in response to you having low levels or are they just generally good things to take ie should I start them too?

Everyone in the whole world seems to have children but me! Having a self-pity moment. This just sucks.

Can I ask a really awful, negative question. Does anyone know any stats on what proportion of people who suffer recurrent miscarriages do not ever manage to carry a pregnancy. I know there's probably a million factors which influence this and it's not a helpful question to ask, but it keeps going round and around in my head.

twilight I know just how you feel. Another pregnancy is just about to be announced at work and I feel very emotional about it.

I don't know much about stats BUT the lady who I see for counselling had 10 pregnancies in total. 3 were her now grown up children the other 7 were mcs. After 4 mcs she was told she'd never have children but she did :)

We have to cling onto hope don't we?! X

Twilight - this is standard protocol suggested by Mr. shehata who is a miscarriage specialist dealing with immune issues in London. The selenium - Brazil nuts , I read on fertility friends forum and thought it wouldn't hurt to try. So I added it to the mix.

I don't know hard stats but a lot of people do eventually carry to term. We have so many success stories from this thread which give me hope. So let's all stay positive :)