Recurrent miscarriage support - tests, treatment, trying again - thread 8

[Bakingtins]

Welcome everyone, pull up a chair! A thread for anyone who has suffered multiple miscarriages and is in need of company, information, moral support, tea or sympathy.

Can I suggest we start page 1 with a recap of where we are all up to, because my fuddled head can't keep track?

Congratulations butterfly lovely news!

So sorry Picardy, sending hugs.

Happy news for you Butterfly- long may it continue.

Hi to everyone else. I'm feeling a bit 'effed off today. My birthday is this week and I had a nice day planned- took the day off to enjoy an exhibition at a museum I have been wanting to go to then dinner for Thanksgiving. I suppose it's not totally off now but I have now scheduled a saline infusion sonography scan at st Mary's. I was not planning for 'dildo cam' on my birthday. Harrumph.

Are you at St M's on Thursday, Late? Me too! :)

I'll be there on thurs. It makes me so sad. Just wanted the one day to not have to think about cancer or miscarriages. I will get over it and it's not the end of the world, but I was looking forward to a nice day.

Oh no Picardy - thinking of you.

It is indeed over.

I have had a black-comedy afternoon involving a farcical to-do around a piece of 'material'. And both brilliant and f*cking awful care, at the same hospital, within the same afternoon. (Long story short - no sooner had I got home than they rang me and dragged me back to the hospital to take said material to the gynae practice NEXT DOOR )

Going, for the first time consciously, down the expectant management route, thence to medical if we need to.

I'm going to bow out of here, I think, at least for the time being. I need to get through the mc and then Christmas. We are going to give it one more shot, but I feel a bit hopeless atm. Much love to all of you. Thanks for being with me for a bit of the journey. xxxxxx

Best of luck Picardy, wishing you well

so sorry picardy goodluck and I hope you come back when you are ready xx

downstairs no permission needed here. I will lend you a virtual shoulder along with .Sometimes its all just utterly rubbish and a good cry can work wonders.

Picardy, I am so sorry to hear your news. Sending you hugs and good wishes for a quick and uncomplicated recovery.

So sorry picardy

picardy sending you massive hugs, and I don't care if I get chucked off Mumsnet for doing it. I wish I had a button that could redistribute some good fortune to those who so deserve it.

LB sorry your birthday is not shaping up as you hoped. Can you change plans and do something nice after St M's?

downstairs you cry if you want to. The witch has crap timing.

Can I canvass opinion? We went to see new niece this w/end. I coped with it much better than I expected (she shared a EDD with my June MC and DH chose to tell me SIL was pregnant the day MC was confirmed) but whilst we were there I learned that my youngest SIL has been trying to TTC ever since they married 7 yrs ago We'd assumed they weren't ready for kids yet, they are only early 30s.
If things go well for us at this week's scan we will be starting to tell people. Do you think writing to her with a bit of background to how we got here and saying that I understand it will be hard for her is a good idea?
On another note DH put a photo of me with the baby on Facebook, cue loads of comments about " feeling broody?" "no3 must be due soon" etc, even from people who know we were TTC 2 years ago. So tempted to put something on there about how much crap we've been through
As it is, when we do make an announcement ( not on Facebook, have learnt how annoying that is) they will all be smugly congratulating them selves on being right.
Disclaimer - Hormones may be making me a bit irrational!

Definitely put something about your history...

I found links to stories about mc and fundraising for the MC association gave people an idea of what happened

Picardy I'm so sorry thinking of you x

Lb I hope you manage to enjoy some of your birthday after your appointment, it's crap when you feel like you never get to enjoy any nice times as it's always overshadowed.

Downstairs have a good cry, like Baking said the witch has crap timing the cow!

Baking I would definately mention it as you know infertility can make you feel so isolated and you don't often have anyone who knows how it feels to talk to, I have a friend not a really close friend who is going through infertility (male factor) so I told her what we have been through she said it's so nice just to be able to talk to someone as nobody except her and her dh know. I think your sil would really appreciate it.

Tanny how are you?

Firstly, Picardy, so so sorry. It really is shitbuckets. Please feel free to use us for support when you want. I don't know how I coped before MN, if only for the feeling that people will give you and when you need it.

My story is becoming shitbuckets. I'm back at work, following discharge from hospital yesterday. I had a scan yesterday which was inconclusive, but showed no viable pregnancy, which was confirmed by my hcg levels, which have plateaued at around 630. The scan did show a sac in my uterus, but nothing in it.

The doctors are still erring on the side of caution, saying that it is an ectopic pregnancy that is too small to see. They offered to medically manage it with methotrexate, or for me to watch and wait and see if my body does it naturally.

I really don't like the idea of medical management, as it's got some hefty effects on your body and you can't TTC for up to 6 months after treatment. Bugger that!

So, I've come home to wait, and go in for another blood test on Thursday to see if my hcg has started to fall.

Personally, I'm not convinced it's ectopic. I think it's just a failed pg that never got going, much like my last mc. I will obviously still have to keep an eye on any weird symptoms, and I really hope it doesn't go on for too long. I don't have any bleeding yet, and have enough hcg in my system to still feel pregnant, so feel in limbo.

The only good news is that I am finally being referred on to the RMC specialist in my area, following my GP's duff referral for a general gynae consultant. I should have an appt through in 6-8 weeks. Feels like bloody ages away, but happily there are a few things happening in between to take up some of my headspace no excuse for not cracking on with christmas shopping now.

My head is all over the place. I got really low a couple of times, after having a bit more hope dashed away, and a couple of days in hospital haven't helped my mental health or my relationship with my DS2, who is 21 months and keeps cuddling up to my DH since I got out.

Anyways, sorry if you sat and read all of this. It's helped getting some of it out of my head, but it must be dull to read.

Tanny never think that your story is too dull to bother us with! I'm sorry you are still in limbo with no clear idea what is happening. I hope you manage to avoid the methotrexate.
It's good that you have now been referred to a specialist and hope that this will bring you some more positive answers as to what is going on and more importantly some solutions.
Take the time you are waiting for your appointment out to recover, you've been through an awful lot in a short space of time.

Picardy so sorry. :(

Tanny sounds like my blighted ovum loss. Jnr docs got all obsessed it was an ectopic. Some sacs grow empty, sadly - if that's what it is I'm sorry they put you through this limbo.

Baking a shared story can mean a lot, in my experience. I agree maybe chat with her.

Tanny that is shit buckets ( love that, definitely in the theme of 'shower of shit'). Anyway, trust your instincts on this one.
My birthday will not be horrible- I really was just having a little pity party for myself last night, just feeling low. I have taken the day off and will be hitting a yoga class before 'dildo cam' and then dinner that night with friends for Thanksgiving and the start of birthday celebrations- there is a party for me on Friday then an overnight at a spa on Saturday with my girlfriends. So really NO REASON whatsoever to feel sorry for myself but I just had this idea of a leisurely museum day and was really looking forward to that self indulgence. So, they day is not lost just slightly diverted. It's my 40th and I think I'm having a bit of a midlife crisis in the middle of miscarriage madness and cancer crappiness. If I take even half a step back and reevaluate, I know how lucky I am compared to most so I just try to keep it in perspective.
Baking, isn't it your birthday too?

Downstairs and Squiz I have to agree with you about blighted ovum, especially as my symptoms read exactly like yours, Downstairs.

I have another blood test tomorrow, and I would really like them to rescan me, as I'd like the diagnosis changed and could then get treated for that rather than ectopic.

I'm feeling so down today. Just sitting and crying, which isn't good when you're in work. All the usual gripes at work are making me seething and I know what a shit job I'm doing. I wish I would start to mc, then I could be at home and have something physical to focus on.

I know all this is grief and hormones and it'll get better, but just now that seems a world away.

tanny That sounds awful - can you not stay home from work?! I tried working at first when I found out about my last mc, but it was awful, just as you describe it - and work definitely noticed! I wanted to be distracted, but it didn't work. Try and get yourself home, if you can.

Late Glad to hear that you are going to have a 'Me-Day', in spite of the dildocam. It's so important to do that sometimes, with everything else that you have going on, you certainly deserve it. 40 is only a big number in your mind

I'm feeling sorry for myself today, too, and thinking of leaving work. Apart from a cold that has started to descend on me, I think that I have a UTI - I get them quite frequently, so know the signs and symptoms. The home remedies are not working, so I think I might need antibiotics . But - I am currently slap bang in the 2ww! Does anyone know if you can get treated for UTI, in case I might be pg? It's not very likely, but not impossible. It's too early to test, but my temp keeps rising (could be due to the cold, but who knows)...

Hello everyone

First, tanny go home... no point being at work, ask your GP for a note...

Then my news is I just had my first counselling session.

before the previous miscarriages i never really went for help and went back to work straight away and acted all strong... this time it hit me harder so I emailed the counselling services from the leaflet they gave me at the EPU...

Had my first session today and it was really interesting, a whole lot of issues came up and we are now going to do a course of 6, potentially 12, sessions. I love the NHS...

Funny that turning 40 seems to help helped trying to figure myself out and realise i can't always be the strong one. and that a lot of little things can make a big thing and be an issue...

so next session on the 18th December, then the others in January... at least the slow start will give me time to process things in my mind