Recurrent miscarriage support - tests, treatment, trying again - thread 8

[Bakingtins]

Welcome everyone, pull up a chair! A thread for anyone who has suffered multiple miscarriages and is in need of company, information, moral support, tea or sympathy.

Can I suggest we start page 1 with a recap of where we are all up to, because my fuddled head can't keep track?

Thanks baking, it is all a bit raw. OH wants to try again immediately. Like yesterday! I'm not sure what to do really. The whole thing is such a horrid combination of science I don't fully understand and emotions that run so high.

Docs aren't keen on any other tests as we already have a daughter. Maybe it's something we can do privately.

Welcome tig, sorry that you find yourself on here. It's such a heartbreak... I agree with the combination of science and emotions being a very difficult one! I have done so much research and keep thinking it should all make sense to me because I am a scientist! But it so totally doesn't. I get the scientific aspects, but I cannot accept their implications for myself.

There is so much controversy about the aspirin advice. I've tried all approaches - not taking it, taking it once I have the BFP and taking it while ttc - without success. Although I can't say if it's down to the aspirin. I've had a DVT episode in the past, but apparently no underlying clotting issues (at least none that have been recognised, and I've had quite a few tests in that respect).

Just been for the AMH and progesterone blood tests, which together set me back £130 (ouch). Even though I'm glad I decided to have them done, I'm now thinking that I already know the results - that I am ovulating (never seemed to have had any problems with that) and that my egg reserve isn't great because of my age (41). Sigh.
I've been reading Dr Regan's book about miscarriage last night and came across some very depressing statistics. Started to get annoyed with the author's mantra 'whereas these numbers might look worrying, we must not for get that the other 45% went on to have healthy happy pregnancies.' She wrote this about 3 times on one page! Hmph. Not much of a consolation, really, if you know that you are in the 'other' half of that percentage.

Sorry to be a bit morose. I've had a really nice day with my NCT friends yesterday, all of which have had their second this year. And I should have been there, too. All the kiddies were playing so nicely together, and I can't help thinking that I would just love another one, I would love for DS to be a big brother etc.
Tow more weeks until my consultant appointment, it's such an uphill struggle.

Sorry for the moany rant!

Jbrd, I think moany rants are what we all need to share! I can't do it in real life, OH just wants to get back in the saddle and no one else knows.

Wow, those tests are expensive! I hope you get an answer that you can work with.

Might just try a bit of 'not trying, not preventing' to satisfy OH and then go for it next month. I'm a bit fed up of the whole thing, although of course still want another baby. Just can't balance all the arguments out any more. Might let nature try her best for a month or two and leave off the aspirin.

Am quite enjoying drinking a proper coffee though!

tig From my experience, taking a bit of a break from all the obsessing over ttc is highly recommendable. I have done just that for the last 2 months, as I can't get pg while they are running all the tests, and tbh - after a year of rollercoaster ttc and mcs, it has been bliss. Not a 100%, because I still want that baby, and I can hear my biological clock ticking louder every day, but still! I've come to hate having SWI and I'm dreading to have to start again... So go for it and enjoy it!

jbrd I know how awful it is to feel you are always on the wrong side of the stats. Pretty crappy to be in the 1% who recurrently miscarry, then to be in the 50% with no reason found, then to be in the 30% that miscarry again... you begin to think how unlucky is it possible to be??
Hope your consultant appointment goes well. Much easier when you have an action plan.

tigs I don't think having a successful pregnancy makes any difference to whether you should consider testing (or whether you qualify under NICE guidelines) I didn't have some tests because I've carried to full term twice, but it was only really the structural problems they didn't test for, and I still had a scan to check for scarring/PCOS etc. I had one MC between my two boys then a dodgy pregnancy with DS2, which with hindsight probably was the start of my implantation problems - I had a lot of bleeding in first trimester with him then he was low birthweight, then 3 consecutive miscarriages before I was diagnosed with the NK cells issue and apparently that's a fairly typical history. The implantation clinic cost us £350, I did pay privately before that to see a consultant to get the ball rolling on standard RMC testing (£200) but got most of the tests through my GP which saved us some money.

Hello all
Wishing all the good, positive and strong vibes to everyone esp Baking who welcomed me to this board when I thought I was losing my head.
Am something of a lurker on here - but reading does help
Bit of history:
6+ miscarriages all at 6,7 weeks - no reasons given
Various 'treatments' clomid, aspirin, progesterone etc
Currently taking NOWT as am unsure why I have been given clomid in particular since I ovulate on my own
41 and most recently put under Liverpool Women's Hospital who are running same tests as my district hospital but in nicer setting! Confusion all the way

Hi all ,

Not done this before so forgive me for signing up yon thus thread at a late date to catch up with you all ...

So here's my info I'm 43 and am having my 3rd miscarriage in 2 years ( couldn't fall for the last year then suddenly 6 weeks ago a surprise pregnancy - now I am loosing it :(((

Have been seeing mr shehata in Epsom - he's the nks man but I really don't know if he's helping me or not ??

After this 3rd miscarriage I am now feeling so alone and flat - going for nhs scan Tom then hopefully I will get referred .. Privately I ve heard that st Mary's are good at research

Can anyone give me any hope or advise ?? I know I'm in my 40s but I will only stop with this when a doctor tells me there's no hope :((

Thx

Welcome Tigs, Lolly and Lanc, Sorry you find yourselves here. Waves to everyone - LB, glad you're 'back in the - er - saddle'... ;)

Tigs, I am sure that you will be entitled to some tests, if your GP won't agree, speak to another one. I think someone else mentioned asking the local EPU, too? I wish you all the best, please do try not to bottle things up. It is, of course, a very personal matter, but I find it easier if people around me knows what's been going on as I would prefer that than people say stupid things to me (like, it'll be your turn soon etc. GRRRRRRR). You shouldn't have to suffer in silence, and I bet you'd find lots of people around you actually have been through some fertility issues of some kind or another.

I'm getting on OK with my HRT (so far so good) but I was a bit surprised to get my AF right on time anyway (I had thought the HRT would override my cycle). It was MUCH heavier than normal, but very thin lining and light AFs have been a problem of mine, so maybe extra oestrogen will help with that. Anyone else ever had any dealings with HRT, especially with regards to TTCing? Back for blood tests round 2 at St Mary's next week, then coils out on the 28th. Ironically, I get the de-brief in mid December on what would have been my most recent due date for number 3. Hopefully it's a sign....

JBrd hope you're OK after getting things off your chest? Some days are s*ittier than others, aren't they?

Thanks everyone, I'll try another GP. Also maybe get the results from the latest miscarriage - I know they took it for testing but have no idea what for.

I am impressed by our collective resilience. We should be proud!

OH insists, however, that I tell no one as he can't handle the pressure of people knowing we are trying again. I can't tell work as they treat me terribly when pregnant. So I'm on my own apart from you (although might speak to one or two friends who have had experience of this maybe one day - but secret for now).

at Lancashire - nice to see you back. Hope you get something concrete from trips to Liverpool if not Prof Q is not far away, though I must stop banging on about her

Hi Lolly sorry you find yourself here but you are v welcome. What have you had tested so far with Dr S? I think if you can get a referral to St Mary's they are the best place in the South. Several ladies on the thread have been treated/tested there and only heard good things.

Waves to you Tea, glad to hear things are going well so far- looking forward to hearing your happy news soon.

Justone, I get my bloods done at St Mary's in mid-Dec as well, almost bang on my due date as well. Sigh...

Hello and waves to everyone and thanks for good DTD mojo and vibes

Sorry: welcome also to the new/ returning ladies lolly, tigs, Lancashire. I'm on mobile so hard to name check everyone!

tigs It's fairly routine to check 'products' after ERPC to rule out a molar pregnancy, but I think that is often done without discussion and you'd only be informed if there was a problem. After 3 miscarriages they will often do cytogenetic testing on the embryo to look for chromosome problems, and if that has been done it's very valuable information - whether there was a chromosome problem and an embryo that never stood a chance or whether you lost a normal embryo makes a big difference to whether to pursue testing for yourself. It takes about a month to get the genetic testing back.

purple and squiz if you are reading, would you be able to offer some moral support to engels who was on the June pregnant after RMC thread and has now had a molar preg scare, please? She's posted on the molar support thread but don't know how active it is.

Justonemore Yes, thank you! Feeling a bit more stable again today, not sure what happened yesterday. I think being surrounded by new babies and getting a constant stream of baby news sometimes gets to more more than on other days.
Plus, AF is about to arrive, and that's never a good sign (even when I'm not trying!)

tig How awful that your OH insists that you don't tell anyone! Easy for him to say... Sounds to me as if he is not dealing with this very well, can you talk to him about it?
Did you take any time off work when you had the mc? It's so important that you make sure you get some rest, your body has to deal with a lot. Not to mention the emotional fall out.
I would recommend speaking to your friends, especially if they have had similar experiences. Nothing helped me more than knowing that I'm not the only one going through this, and even though MN support is fab, it's such a relief to talk it over in RL. Hope that you'll be able to get some support.

Tigs, to add to what Baking said, when I had the products tested for genetics after my third MC, I had to sign a parental consent form for that specifically - other tests such as for molar may or may not be carried out routinely - I was not told for the first two, but testing for a molar was done on the third.

Just been for a little sleep with pins in, or acupuncture as I think it is more commonly known. I always nod off! :)

Glad today is a better day JBrd :)

Hi there, can I join again?

History: dd Sep 2011, mmc June 2012, mc Nov 2012, mmc April 2013

Tests: local hospital useless, bloods taken, but wrong bottles, kareotyping bloods taken but results never received.

Referred to st Marys, 1st appt 2 weeks ago, back early Dec for 2nd round of bloods.

But just had message to call research midwife on thyroid study - not sure if bloods have shown antibodies or if she calls everyone...

Waves- quick check-in on my tablet!

Baking - thanks for heads up, have visited the molar thread!

Daisy - she may well want to sign you up? Or did she take bloods at the 1st appt? I let slip that my local research midwife had done my tablet bloods ... I think st Marys like to keep 'their' ladies on their tablet scheme!

Waves and good vibes to all!! :)

TABLET nurse called me to say all was normal, so I'm not on the trial.

Hi everyone, sorry on mobile, I'm 37 21 have DC ,mmc 13 weeks, mmc 10 weeks, CMP, seen consultant last week and no tests but I kinda expected that, my hcg is now zero , went back to work yesterday and just to make things difficult got my first AF but it's good I suppose it means I'm back to normal

Testing sounds great. Our first mc was definitely s
viable baby. I'm never sure whether to be glad about that or not - obviously great that it wasn't something that will happen again and so no point trying - but sad to lose a healthy child through my body's incapability.

OH is a very private man. Drives me mad! Our families live a long way away so although I wanted to tell them at the time, now I'm glad we didn't as they couldn't have helped and would only have worried and been sad for us. I will speak to some friends though, I agree that is important.

Welcome to new ladies and thanks for all comments on my situation, it's good to talk to those who really understand and have a lot of experience to share.

purple Good news on the HCG! Does that mean you are in the clear or is there more monitoring for a while?

Welcome back daisy

Thanks squiz and purple for offering support to Engels.

TIgs my DH is v private too. He hasn't told his family about our MC, which means I have to listen to SIL banging on about her pregnancy (shares my jan 14 EDD) and her 2 yr gaps. She's not an insensitive person, I'm sure she would be mortified if she knew.
However, I haven't let it stop me telling people if I want to - my parents, my two best friends and a few people from church who have offered support all know. It's important to have an emotional outlet for it all.