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Miscarriage/pregnancy loss

Find support and share your experiences on our Miscarriage forum. See also legal rights and support after baby loss.

Original poster

Late miscarriage

197 replies

xPhoebex · 05/06/2012 20:55

Hi everyone,
I am in hospital atm, and have been told I am having a late miscarriage at 19 weeks. I'm just a bit confused as to what to do once I'm induced.
I'm not sure if I want to hold my baby afterwoods, and like the hospital have said they could maybe do me foot/hand prints instead...but I'm even scared of seeing them incase they are really tiny....I'm just wondering what people's experiences are?

OP posts:
Bluetinkerbell · 07/06/2012 22:00

annekins on threads like these and in situations like this, hugs are very much allowed Wink

Original poster
xPhoebex · 07/06/2012 22:00

Awwww annekins! I can't be that strong as that's made me well up :P But thank you, honestly your kind words, eveyrones kind words and support are what is seeing me through now, thank hou so much everyone x

OP posts:
Moominsarescary · 07/06/2012 22:04

Just wanted to say I'm thinking of you x

ScallyFloss · 07/06/2012 22:11

I'm thinking of you and hate that you are going through this. It is so traumatic, but the midwives will offer lots of support.

I had a miscarriage at 17 weeks and I too was induced and I was in for about 14 hours in the end. I ended up being so worried about losing the baby when I went the toilet my bladder stopped working, so they had to give me a catheter, then everything happened quite quickly after that.

I was given morphine. Can they give you that if you are in pain?

Lots of love.

Bluetinkerbell · 07/06/2012 22:14

Trying to keep you busy... have you thought of a name you would like to give your baby?

MissCoffeeNWine · 07/06/2012 22:29

You need one of those bedpans that fits over the loo, the cardboard type. I had one of these. You can sit on the loo to your hearts content without worrying about the baby. You can flush the contents when and if required and deliver the baby into it if you need to.

Much easier and less invasive than catheterisation.

Hang in there.

Bluetinkerbell · 07/06/2012 22:34

I'm assuming things are happening or you are have a rest...
I will go to bed soon, but will check in again as soon as I can to see how you're doing!
take care Phoebe! thinking of you and wishing you a peaceful time with your little one... x

pinkyp · 07/06/2012 22:38

Thinking of you, if I was close I'd come see you you are so do brave doing it alone

Tina2003 · 07/06/2012 22:47

hope you are doing ok, all of us here are thinking of you ..

giraffesCantFitInThePalace · 07/06/2012 22:51

Thinking of you

chipmonkey · 08/06/2012 00:20

Thinking of you Phoebe. xx

AllOverIt · 08/06/2012 04:16

Thinking of you x

swooosh · 08/06/2012 04:33

Thinking of you

Wonder12 · 08/06/2012 05:45

Thinking of you and your precious Angel take care, will say a prayer for you both X X

Bluetinkerbell · 08/06/2012 07:47

How are you this morning Phoebe? been thinking about you during the night whilst kept awake by the wind and rain... x

BellaOfTheBalls · 08/06/2012 07:55

Have been thinking of you overnight Phoebe. How are you this morning?

cupcake78 · 08/06/2012 08:06

I'm so sorry. I lost my ds at 18 wks. Everything you described happened to me. I decided not to see him simply because I was scared I would have to give him back again.

I asked for hand and footprints, got his blanket and spent the following days making him a new blanket for him to sleep in (it really really helped me).

I have pictures of him that I have never seen. 6 yrs have passed and I'm going to get the pictures to put in his memory box which I treasure.

You are not alone in this! Those of us who have been through this will understand! X

Rest and be kind to yourself, you will find your own way of living with this. It does get better Smile

You are in my thoughts

ipswichwitch · 08/06/2012 08:27

I am so sorry to hear what you're going through phoebe how are you doing this morning?
We lost one of our twin boys at 34 weeks (had emcs, his brother is fine) after scan showed no heartbeat. We were on autopilot too, and took some time for it all to sink in. I would definitely recommend getting the hand/footprints and photos. Even if you never look at them again, you will always have them and not regret not getting them. We were given a lovely memory box by the ward, and have the blanket they wrapped him in and a lock of hair as well as prints/photos.
DP didn't think he could cope with seeing him, but now is glad he held him and got the chance to say goodbye. The hospital can organise a funeral, or you can do it yourself through a director (no charge for children).
I am so sorry you are going through all this under such horrendous circumstances, is there absolutely nobody in your family who you would be able to talk to? I would hope they'd put aside the falling out under these circs. God, if I lived anywhere near Cardiff I'd come visit you myself

Kaloobear · 08/06/2012 08:54

This has made me cry. Thinking of you and your little one OP x

supernannyisace · 08/06/2012 09:50

Hope you are ok this morning OP?

Original poster
xPhoebex · 08/06/2012 10:29

I had him in the night x

OP posts:
Moominsarescary · 08/06/2012 10:31

Hope your ok, if you need to talk we will be here x

AllOverIt · 08/06/2012 10:38

Oh bless you. I hope you had the chance to see him and spend time saying goodbye Sad xx

Bluetinkerbell · 08/06/2012 10:39

dear Phoebe, I hope it was a speedy uncomplicated delivery and that you have the time to say goodbye to your precious boy.
wishing you much strength and like moomin said, we're here when you need us x

Original poster
xPhoebex · 08/06/2012 10:48

Just typed out a long msg, and then the website broke :( need to copy and paste in future, just in case, lol.

I'm trying to remember what I said....I said I'd held him, but like the whole thing is a bit of a blurr. I've mentioned I have M.E, and from like the lack of sleep, pain, blood loss etc it's really bad, so my arms are v weak so couldn't hold him for too long. It's a struggle just to sort of sit up or keep my head up atm.

I took some photos, and i have footprints, not handprints though, not sure why.

Thank you everyone for your support x

OP posts: