Active discussions

Please or to access all these features

Talk
Miscarriage/pregnancy loss

Find support and share your experiences on our Miscarriage forum. See also legal rights and support after baby loss.

Original poster

Late miscarriage

197 replies

xPhoebex · 05/06/2012 20:55

Hi everyone,
I am in hospital atm, and have been told I am having a late miscarriage at 19 weeks. I'm just a bit confused as to what to do once I'm induced.
I'm not sure if I want to hold my baby afterwoods, and like the hospital have said they could maybe do me foot/hand prints instead...but I'm even scared of seeing them incase they are really tiny....I'm just wondering what people's experiences are?

OP posts:
Bluetinkerbell · 07/06/2012 17:29

No! Don't be silly Phoebe you're not meant to do anything but to get through this! and as you are all by yourself, this is where you get the support to help you!

Bluetinkerbell · 07/06/2012 17:31

and you are definitely not a burden! Don't let anyone make you feel like that! You are about to give birth to your precious angel baby! You deserve all the attention that you need!

I can't tell from here what you are allowed or not, not a midwife or doctor, but you can only ask them...

GnocchiNineDoors · 07/06/2012 17:31

Phoebe, you are obviously finding support from this thread so please don't feel like you should stop. A virtual hand hold is no substitute for a real life one, but in times of need.

My thoughts are with you.

Original poster
xPhoebex · 07/06/2012 17:31

But like....you're all strangers....so it's like so overwhelming that like...you're all taking time so stop and talk to me, and be there for me, I don't feel so alone....I think I'm a bit emotional haha :P But you've all been soooo kind, I don't want you to think I am taking advantage

OP posts:
Bluetinkerbell · 07/06/2012 17:34

ah well that's what MNetters do! Wink
When I was in labour with my angel girl last year, I was constantly on gmail chat with my family so they knew what was happening and could support me.
And I had DH with me all the time too.
I just feel so sad for you that you are there all on your own going through this horrible time...

AdventuresWithVoles · 07/06/2012 17:34

Do you not have a bell you can ring to summon someone if you feel too wobbly to walk?

Nearly all of us have been 19 weeks pg at one point or another.
Please ask hospital for anything you might need, there's no good reason for you to be in physical pain.

Original poster
xPhoebex · 07/06/2012 17:35

It sounds silly, but I don't feel so alone from chatting on here
I just kinda wish someone was here to like...physically like help me understand and take things in, cos my mind is like marshmallow atm. Think that's the M.E playing up from all that's happening

OP posts:
Bluetinkerbell · 07/06/2012 17:37

Is there a bereavement midwife in the hospital who could come for a chat? Or you can ask for the hospital chaplain to come... I don't know whether you are religious or not, but that doesn't matter, I am sure they will gladly come and keep you company for a little while...

Original poster
xPhoebex · 07/06/2012 17:37

I will take all your advice and buzz for some help now :)

OP posts:
Original poster
xPhoebex · 07/06/2012 17:39

I have seen the chaplin :) He is the 'brother' as they call him from my local church, which was good timing that he was the one on call today. I don't go to church anymore, but grew up in a v religious family, so it was helpful. He only stayed about 15 mins, but was nice :)

OP posts:
Bluetinkerbell · 07/06/2012 17:41

ah that's good! let us know what they'll do! Glad you've seen the chaplain, you can also ask him to bless your baby once he's born! We had that done and it was very nice and peaceful.

recall · 07/06/2012 17:43

I lost mine at 22 weeks, I asked them to take her away while I got my shit together, and I held her a couple of hours later, and said goodbye etc. I was nervous before I went in, but the second I saw her, I was fine - there is nothing to be scared of. If you aren't sure about the footprints, it might be an idea to get them done. I had mine done, and have not been able to look at them yet, it was 6 years ago. They are there for me when I am ready, which I will be one day. My friend lost hers at 18 weeks, and didn't have the footprints done, and now regrets it. Also I took in a blanket that my family knitted and asked them to wrap her little body in it, that gave me some comfort too.

MissCoffeeNWine · 07/06/2012 17:55

I had a late miscarriage, was induced but didn't need any other medication, lucky that the placenta came away fine, and went home straight after, all very quick. Actually spent the labour walking round the hospital although I had a private room on labour ward with all the other living babies I didn't use it much, never even sat on the bed. I saw my baby for ten minutes afterwards then got cleaned up and went home, didn't know pictures or footprints or burials or memorials were even possible we just left the baby there for post mortem and that was that. So I'd ask about all that stuff if I were you. Maybe when you have someone there with you.

I'm sorry for your loss.

Original poster
xPhoebex · 07/06/2012 18:17

Thank you everyone, it must be tough to open up and tell me about your experiences as must bring back some painful memories, so thank you for sharing with me so I can be as prepared as possible x

I have some more co-codamol now, and I am cramping quite a bit, and bleeding quite a lot too. I also have a cheese sandwhich and some water to try and like, get me some energy as feeling v weak x

OP posts:
Bluetinkerbell · 07/06/2012 21:18

how are you feeling now? I hope the new co-codamol has kicked in! x

Original poster
xPhoebex · 07/06/2012 21:33

its hekoped a bit :) have some gas and air too. how are you? x

OP posts:
AllOverIt · 07/06/2012 21:39

Checking in and thinking of you. Sad

Original poster
xPhoebex · 07/06/2012 21:44

thank u x
It's becoming quite painful now and losing quite a bit of blood :(

OP posts:
Bluetinkerbell · 07/06/2012 21:45

It seems things are speeding up then! I hope you will be able to deliver your precious baby soon and spend some time together to say goodbye! x

Bluetinkerbell · 07/06/2012 21:46

Is there a midwife with you at the moment? They might need to keep a closer eye on you now! x

Original poster
xPhoebex · 07/06/2012 21:52

she comes in and out loads...tbh im glad when shes not here cos feel like i have to put on a front aroundher....i know that sounds silly, im always like that with drs etc tho x

OP posts:
AllOverIt · 07/06/2012 21:53

Press the button and get someone in with you. I'm surprised they've left you alone so much considering you've not got anyone with you Sad

AllOverIt · 07/06/2012 21:53

Cross post. Fair enough. If be the same Sad

Bluetinkerbell · 07/06/2012 21:55

You will need someone with you whilst giving birth, but once that's over and your little one is there, do ask if you can have some time on your own...
we'll be here virtually holding your hand x

annekins · 07/06/2012 21:58

Wow, you are the bravest person I think
I've ever 'met'. I can't imagine what you are going through right now, but I'm truly in awe. Have courage, and soon you will hold your dear little one. Keep asking for pain relief and drink and eat when you can. I'll be thinking of you through the night.

And here's a big unmumsnetty hug x