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Miscarriage/pregnancy loss

Hand holding please

178 replies

wifey6 · 21/04/2012 18:55

Got back from our scan- should be 12+2 only to be told our baby had stop growing at 7 weeks. I had had browny/red bleeding the previous day & since this afternoon its got more frequent, clots, pains in legs & back. Sorry TMI- but I felt pressure & when I wiped there was what looked like a browny sac. Could that be the sac my baby was in? I'm still finding this so surreal & it's such a painful process.

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Flightty · 21/04/2012 19:04

I am so sorry, darling. I hope someone with experience will be along in a minute. xx

maples · 21/04/2012 19:06

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maples · 21/04/2012 19:08

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MrsHelsBels74 · 21/04/2012 20:06

I had a medicated miscarriage, things stopped happening at about 7 weeks. I definitely knew when the sac had passed & it was horrible. I'm sorry for your loss, I know how devastating it is.

wifey6 · 21/04/2012 20:59

Thank you all for you replies. I'm swaying between feeling numb, angry & sobbing. Can't make sense of it all. Sad Sad Sad

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funchum8am · 21/04/2012 21:07

I am so sorry you are going through this. There are loads of people on mn who have been through this, and they are amazing at offering support. I've had 2 mcs and what you are feeling is completely normal and natural. You will never know if that was the sac for sure so try to focus on what you can do, which is to look after yourself and seek support from loved ones if you can, or on here if that is too much at the moment. You are likely to be advised that you can TTC again after a month if you feel ready and for some that helps them move on, while others prefer to wait a while. Go with what feels right for you. best of luck with your recovery.

maples · 21/04/2012 21:10

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jodidi · 21/04/2012 22:10

I'm sorry this has happened to you. I lost my baby at 12 weeks, 2 weeks ago and I still feel like I'm going between angry, sobbing and shock. I definitely knew when my sac had passed but I think mine had developed a bit longer than yours, mine was about the size of a fist. I have found mn to be a lifesaver at the minute, as I'm too upset to talk about it in rl yet. People know but I can't talk to them about it because I cry every time.

freakydeaky · 21/04/2012 22:40

Wifey, so sorry for your loss...and you too, jodidi. Miscarriage is a terrible experience (I've had 2) and as others have said the important thing now is to look after yourself and seek support from wherever feels right for you. x

wrigle · 21/04/2012 22:46

Hi wifey6, that sounds awful. I MC'd about 5 weeks ago, at nearly 11 weeks. It's such an emotionally and physically complex time, quite primal I think, take very good care of yourself and do come on here and write about it if it helps, very hard to make sense of something that seems to have no sense so writing with others who've been through a mc might help. In the meantime, as maples said, hot water bottle, pain relievers might help. Flowers

wifey6 · 22/04/2012 07:58

Thank you all for your kind messages. So sorry to hear of all your loses. For a split moment this morning when I woke up- it was as though it had all just been a horrific dream. Then it hit me- & the vicious cycle began. I have to go back to the hospital tomorrow morning- I'm dreading it. I think I will keep posting on here if that is's so painful to talk to people in RL- especially as most of my friends are pregnant or have just had babies. Sad

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jus3351 · 22/04/2012 08:40

Wifey6 - I understand exactly what you are going through, it's a terrible time. I've had 9 mcs, after the first six which were all between 6-9 wks I was really giving up hope but I now have 3 beautiful children (11,8 and 2), all naturally conceived. So, I just wanted to say even when I'd really hit rock bottom it all worked out fine in the end.

I know it's really hard but it is nature's cruel way. I found it really hard when everyone around me was having babies, even though I was genuinly happy for them I also felt extremely envious and felt it was all so unfair. You'll find lots of support on here from people who are going through the same thing. Try to stay positive. x

soveryfedup · 22/04/2012 09:59

so sorry wifey. come and post whenever you feel the need, we all understand x

maples · 22/04/2012 13:25

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wifey6 · 22/04/2012 13:48

Just checking back in- as this seems like my hiding place at the moment. A place I can grieve my loss. Feel as though i'm not sure how to cope or be. Have only managed half a meal since Friday & can't help feeling 'what's the point now'. I feel a failure & as though my body has let me down. I'm trying to get comfort from knowing there is nothing I did wrong- according to the midwife- but it still just doesn't seem enough. My husband bought a little tree today as I said I would love to see it grow for our baby. Hope that doesn't sound too daft. Sad
I thank you all for replying & being here for me to lean on. Can't describe how thankful Sad

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jodidi · 22/04/2012 16:42

This is my safe place too. We planted a rose bush for our baby, and it is starting to grow buds. Dp talks to it and I think he is comforted by having it, I am taking a bit longer to find the comfort in it and can't bear to look at it yet. I'm not sure how to cope either, but I'm taking things one day at a time and hoping that one day it just gets easier.

maples · 22/04/2012 17:11

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AWomanCalledHorse · 22/04/2012 17:21

Oh wifey, I'm so sorry for your loss...and for everyone else who has posted & suffered a loss.

The tree is such a lovely idea, doesn't sound daft at all. Have you planted it?


FoofFighter · 22/04/2012 17:43

So sorry for you all Wifey Sad

Keep posting x it really does help

wifey6 · 22/04/2012 18:38

Thank you all again...I keep checking in especially when I get the over-whelming emptiness. Just to try & gain a bit of strength.
Our tree will hopefully be planted in the next few days- we would like to do that as a family.
My DH cooked me some lunch which I only half managed- as a few of you have said- it's important.
I feel right now as though I am numb- swaying from wanting to keep busy & doing all the practical things to being unable to even function the next. Sad Sad
If I didn't have you ladies for support- I'm not sure I would even be able to function at all.

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MrsHelsBels74 · 22/04/2012 18:52

I promise you, you won't always feel like this. It does get easier just take each day as it comes & don't put any pressure on yourself, everyone deals with things differently.

maples · 22/04/2012 19:09

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harrietlichman · 22/04/2012 19:21

Hi wifey - so sorry for your loss. I am in the same position as you right now - my scan was on Thursday (was an early one as I had had three previous m/cs) so I was supposed to be 9 +2 but the the size of the foetal pole was approx 6 weeks. I am now waiting to physically m/c - it is a truly horrible time but I know from bitter experience that it does get easier.

FoofFighter · 22/04/2012 21:39

2 weeks ago I felt just like you wifey. Numb, emotionless yet emotional (?!), couldn't eat, sleep, no interest in anything. A lot of it is obviously grief/shock, a lot is also hormones and they will die down in a week or two.

wifey6 · 23/04/2012 07:57

Gearing myself up for the hospital again this morning. Possibly another scan & medical intervention if anything is left. How do you possibly get through this? Sad Sad

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