I'm miscarrying right now (mmc found out this morning) what can I expect? Scared.

[FoeufFighter]

Went in for a scan this morning, 9 weeks today, bean measured 6 weeks and no heartbeat. Was booked in for repeat scan next Friday to check (cause a grown woman can't possibly know her blooming dates ) they didn't give me any info or advice on what to expect or what to do, who to call, stay at home, come into hospital, nothing.

I had a little bleeding brown and red last few days and now it's gone heavier and numerous large clots coming away. No pain as yet. have popped a couple of codeine, put on large thick pad, comfy leggings, sorted out my hot water bottle, had a bit to eat and got comfy with duvet on sofa.

What can I expect? I don't want my baby to go down the toilet

[ValiumQueen]

Sorry Foof I know you were fearful of seeing your little one. Wishing you love and healing x

[geekette]

Oh Foeuf! Flowers, my dear!

[MadeInChinaBaby]

Foeuf, I'm going through the same this week, and I'm sorry this is happening to you.

I should be 11 weeks tomorrow.

The scan a fortnight ago showed our bean to be measuring 6 weeks, not 9 as it should have been at the time, but they picked up the heartbeat and asked me if I was sure about my dates. I was. They asked me to come back a week later.

Bean still measured 6 weeks, and had lost its heartbeat. I started miscarrying on Thursday. Thursday night was horrendous. I'd been told to expect it to be like a heavy period. I'm still shedding tissue today and bleeding quite a lot, and don't really know when it's going to end.

I wish it was something people spoke about more. Its sadly so common.

At least having had the scan beforehand, you know that it simply wasn't growing properly - there's nothing you could have done differently to change this.

ALSO there are so many stories of people conceiving pretty soon after a miscarriage if that's what you want.

Take care.

[karinajack]

Don't really know what to say but to all u that have lost angels I'm soo sorry :(
They were all just to special for this world. I know that no child can replace another but I hope you do get your little miracles xxx
Take care xx

[birdofthenorth]

Ok, this happen to me at 11.5 weeks. Miscarried naturally whilst waiting for my DC appointment. Mine got quite painful and I had to lie down in bed for hours. Needed a towel under me. Blood clots got huge (lost a several inches wide lump every time I stood up). Bathing helped (though messy). If your DP is there get him to clean the bathroom, help you from bathroom to bedroom, renew hot water bottles. I fainted a couple of times, should have gone to hospital at that point.

I'm so sorry for your loss and that this is happening to you. It is awful.

You can try calling the hospital and seeing if they can fit you in for a DC earlier if you want (you may still need one no matter how much blood you lose, I did).

Hugs. Rest take time off work. Call your mum or best friend and have a cry. It does get better.

[Calamityboo]

for madeinchina. feouf stay with the calm feeling and relax as best you can, it may be that you are over the worst of it, but if there is a little more to come, you will be relaxed and rested enough to cope with it. Stay safe and be kind to yourself.

[FoeufFighter]

The part I was most worried about has passed so I don't really mind the blood and clots now x

Hmm birdofthenorth, hadn't actually thought of the fact might still need a D&C, hope not. Booked in already for Friday so will ring on mon and see if that still stands or if they want me in before that.

thanks again for your advice and words of comfort everyone x

[ChocolateAdInfinitum]

Ah I'm so sorry to hear that :(
Take care of yourself xxx

[Unexpected3]

[blonderthanred]

I'm so sorry to read this Foeuf. You've been such a presence on the Nov thread, I feel genuine sadness for your loss. I hope you'll soon be on a thread for early 2013. Sending much love xxx

[funthatisfunny]

more hugs foof.

Sorry to see you here too china. When you are ready come and join our imminent 'wine and shagging' thread on the ttc board :) (And anyone else! come and play - we shall heal - and reproduce!)

[FoeufFighter]

Yes china I do hope you are ok (hugs), come and join us when you are ready, I think maybe a new support club is in order for us ex November duebies x

Feel so so tired now, struggling to keep my eyes open.

Have had a few more big clots, thinking it's as I am lying on sofa and it's whenever i get up to the loo rather than it being for a sinister reason, Horrible feeling when they slip out

[Plaunchy]

Hi, I went for an scan at 9 weeks after my pregnancy symptoms had started to fade and my husband, tucked neatly away behind the curtain by staff overheard them telling me there was no heart beat. They said there was a 4mm sac and I had to go back the following week in case my dates were wrong. My dates weren't wrong...you can't have a positive pregnancy test a month before you've conceived..but they said they have guidelines to follow and miracles have happened. Anyway no miracle took place and a week later we were told there was a 4mm sac but this time the explained we had had a baby who died at about 6 weeks. They discussed management with us and we decided to opt for medical. I've read terrible stories about the management of miscarriage that I found very upsetting and was nervous waiting. I'd had a very slight brown discharge and also a greish tiny amount of strange grtty discharge. I kept wondering if this was my baby. Anyway that weekend beforeI'd had pessaries and the rest of my management I had some cramps. Not like period pains, like small tightenings and they were in m hips and the bottom of my back. They came and went and didn't last long. I eventually had paracetamol because I was expecting massive pain. These I realised, I had had not for a nights on and off but they were a ittle bit stronger. Anyway eventually I passed a large clot the size of m palm. No pain or trauma and though that may be it. Things settled off and I wondeed, then they started and this time jst once it was just strong enough to make me say something out loud and then, bless him, my husband made me laugh and I passed another clot and another, the second actually being a tiny sac with out baby inside. It wasn't painful it was very peaceful and not messy at all. The sc was intact, clear and like a small balloon ful of water. I'm a midwife and I deal with people's membranes and waters everyday and this was just the same- small but perfect. She was in there, floating, tiny weeny. We kept her to take to the hospital. The pain wasn't physical and that night I felt empty in a new way but so so lucky to have done it like that. Everbod's experience is different but when I spoke to the doctors none mentioned pain as a major concern for man women. I am rambing now. I'm still bleeding, and it isn't like a period, it's more mucousy and I stil have cramps but they're slight. I'll even miss them when they're gone in a way because at least I am reminded of how lucky I was to have tin person with me even if not for long. For ladies out there scared like I have been, there are good stories for every bad one. Take care and I'm so so sorry for everybody's losses.

[Plaunchy]

Shocking typing there...I'm pretty tired tonight. I hope you're feeling better soon x

[Calamityboo]

Hiya ff, how are you today? Sending best wishes to all of you who have posted about your angels

[FoofFighter]

Plaunchy should I have kept the baby/sac?

Having afterpains and rage today. Was too wrapped up yesterday to notice but OH was out and I asked him to come home (was 5 mins walk away) and he didn't get here for an hour. Am pretty upset at that. Which is an understatement.

not long gotten up, just laid in bed awake thinking.

[FoofFighter]

And missed it. I meant to add up there. the worst bit and I was alone for it

[KatAndKit]

foofy I'm so sorry that he wasn't there to support you when you asked him to. I'd be really angry about that. I don't think there is any "need" to keep the sac and I'm sure a large amount of people don't manage to.

[Calamityboo]

Oh foof, I am so sorry that you are having a hard time today, yes you have every right to be cross at DH for leaving you to in through it on your own, but try to be ok with him, he can't change what he did, and you will need each other.

[FoofFighter]

Well I did send him out for a bit, no problem with that part of it - could see he needed to escape but AIBU to have expected him back as soon as he knew I needed him there? I don't think so

Had words and from my end that is that, we can't change it so no point going on. Just getting (unreasonably I know) annoyed at most of our mutual friends texting HIM to see how HE is. I know people forget the bloke a lot but this time round it seems i'm the forgotten one the one who had to physically do it and didn't have the option of disappearing for a bit to escape it.

[Calamityboo]

No YANBU, He did get to escape when you were going through the very worst thing that could happen. As for the friends, do you think they are texting him because they don't want to bother you/upset you/know what to say to you? Maybe they are asking 'how are you' meaning you both, like the royal we ifkwim? There are no unreasonable emotions for you to have at the moment, what ever you are feeling hurt, anger, sad it is the right thing to feel.

[OhDoAdmitMrsDeVere]

Poor Foof

If its any comfort at all, a whole, whole load of people on the internet are thinking about you.

Lots. x

[FoofFighter]

Been out for a walk and feel a bit brighter, but wrecked physically. I wanted an Easter Egg

Ty Calamityboo I am sure you are right but I'm not seeing things clearly.

Ty too MrsDV it is, it really is x

[OhDoAdmitMrsDeVere]

Did you get your egg?

Its all so unfair isnt it? I am sorry (I know I keep saying it but its true) x

[Calamityboo]

Of course your not and that's ok under these circumstances, no one in RL will mind. I am glad you got out today, but rest well and see what tomorrow brings for you.