I've spent every day of my life with my weight being a problem/ top of my mind and I just want one day without that. I KNOW I'll be focused on other things but I don't want it there in the background on that day. For example at my graduation I spent the whole day worrying about my weight and how i looked next to skinny friends in photos rather than enjoying the achievement. I got a first in linguistics and was awarded student of the year for gods sake and i STILL felt like a failure on that day because I graduated fat
Jiminny, reading that is like you've taken a recording of my thoughts. I have similarly felt achievements have lost some shine because I am still fat, I refer to myself as a 'big fat failure' when I am far from a failure. I lost weight before my wedding brief pause to regret that I put it all back on again but I wasn't skinny by any means - I went from an 18 to a loose 16/tight 14. I had a corset back dress which winched me in and had hair and make-up done on the day - and I looked amazing. And you know what? When I look at the beautiful photos from the day, there is still a tiny voice in my head saying 'your arms are so fat'. So I suppose what I am saying (and like dustmotes I may be projecting) if you have that perfectionist, self-critical mindset you might lose 75 lbs and still look back and find fault, so be kind to yourself. Sorry if none of that made sense or wasn't that reassuring
. IME getting a fab dress, getting awesome hair and make-up, and the sheer joy of the day should make you glow irrespective of your size.
I am intrigued by StuntNun's coaching, what does that involve?
Today has been ok, possibly too much dairy:
B: courgette omelette with Parmesan
L: boiled eggs with small carrot, cucumber and avocado
T: sausages with cauliflower & broccoli, followed by some greek yoghurt
Snacked on some cheese cubes.
3 pints herbal tea, 2 pints water
Still awaiting bloody AF, still feeling like eating everything in the cupboards (DH has bought such nice bread and it's killing me) so pleased that I resisted.