This month i am being made to sell our lovely 3 bed semi for a one bed flat, and my ds is going to live with his dad

[allgonebellyup]

i am so sick of it all.

my ex has decided i "dont deserve" the house any more (we now pay half the mortgage each, although he has been paying ALL of it until 2 mths ago) even though i put 50k of my inheritance money into it.

i do understand that it is a lot for him to pay for, especially as he has got his girlfriend pregnant and the baby is due next month, so he is going to legally force me to sell up.

We've decided that ds can live with him and his girlfriend, as he is not happy here with me and dd.

All i can afford is a one bed flat with my dd, i cant get a mortgage as i am paid cash for my job.
Such a lot to take in really.

but the mortgage is unaffordable however if AGBU was allowed to transfer the equity to a new propertly until he was 18......I just wondered if that is a possiblity

ah right ok am with you - don't think that's possible is it?

is it unaffordable because of X's debts, or is it because of ali?

how about if instead of splitting the payments 50/40 each month if you can afford to pay a larger slice (not fair I know) but if you did that had it all written down, and had a larger share of the equity when you did come to sell that way?? dont' know if that's possible.

but you deffo beed legal advice, & also to have everything with your X written down esp when it comes to the house. & money.

I think neither of them really can afford the mortgage tbh!

Today i have look on the shared ownership sites and there is a thing called MyChoiceHomeBuy, where you choose a home on the open market, and get a mortgage for a certain percent of the property price (here i would use my lump of equity), then the HomeBuy company give you an equity loan for the remaining say, 50%.

It also states its not just for first time buyers and can be " for people who can no longer afford to purchase a home due to relationship breakdown".

im excited!!!

Do you think this would work on my current home - that i could use this equity loan to pay ex out of the house? (ive made all the calculations, my home is worth about 240k these days: could get small mortgage of 40k,plus my 80k makes 120k. then if the equity loan covers the other 120k(50%)???

I think that really depends on whether you can afford the mortgage payments & the equity loan, is the equity loan something you repay when you sell or pay off like a mortgage?

Personally I would still be tempted to see if I can find a significantly cheaper 3 bed to move into, it would have to be significantly cheaper though to be worth the cost of moving.

Does anyone know if you are entitled to claim housing benefit whether they will pay this towards the rental part of any shared ownership housing scheme?

With the equity loan you wouldnt have to pay it back until you sell the house.. but yes, if they did ever accept me i would look into buying a cheaper/smaller house..

yes if you pay a pure rental part then you can claim housing benefit to pay it. However if you are paying part mortgage and part rental they will ignore the fact you are paying the mortgage (ie that cost against your income) so you are therefore very unlikely to qualify for housing benefit - hope that is not too confusing.

So if you can part own through equity and then rent the rest you would stand a good chance of getting HB. The reason why they will help with rent and not mortgage is because by paying the mortgage they are giving you equity/buying your house for you IYSWIM

yes gillybean my sister does this, the HB does help pay the rent part.

Except think i will have to forget the actual shared ownership thing as there are never any 3 bed homes available in my town (dont want to leave town)and they wont let me apply for a 2 bed as i have children of diff sexes and it goes against their housing policy!

so think i will stick with the MyChoicehomebuy - although dont know how generous or not they are!!

AGBU - that looks very positive then!!! How much can you buy a 3 bed for in your area (where I live £240 is a bargain for a 3 bed!)

Well i might buy a large 2-bed and split the biggest bedroom into 2.. cos round here all the 3 beds under 240k are not in the best areas OR need a LOT of work done, and ideally i would love a house in a lovely area with not much work to be done!

First of all, before i can apply, i have to get a proper job on the books! so i have applied for 2 this morning, and one of the women i rang sounded quite keen! (i hope)

Starlight, i HAVE already seen a solicitor twice, they said i could draw up an arrangement so ex can agree to keep paying the mortgage until i find somewhere else to live..

..ex refused to sign it, after originally promising that he would...

And i have another solicitor appointment on Tue!
Im not scared! but yes i am depressed still

He is worried about me getting a house on my own ,without his help.

i can tell he is panicking slightly... he keeps saying that once i have my own house and dont need his money then i will stop him seeing ds every weekend!!!!!(he does like to threaten not paying mortgage every time i say, "no, you cant see ds every day"- he sees this as me trying to stop access)

Which i will in Sept when ds starts school full time, it will change to every 2 weeks otherwise i will never see my boy!

He's a dickhead for putting you in this situation.

If he can't afford another child without compromising the financial well-being of his first two then he should have got the snip.

I wouldn't let him guilt you into FA.

You have YOUR kids to worry about.

His other ones he chose to bring in the world knowing he couldn't do so without screwing his first family over are his problem.

Thats exactly what i tell him, expat.

AGBU - well done! just a word of caution - i know that you are pleased with yourself (AND U SHOULD BE!!!) but be careful how much you tell exp... he will not want you to be able to do this as the house is a form of control that he has - believe me - been there done that ans got the t-shirt

Well there is probably a big chance that i wont get anywhere with this whole house thing, so i wont count my chickens!
i dont think i will be a priority cos not actually homeless!

but yes he will panic if i sell this house, but only cos he believes i will stop him seeing his son (which i WON'T) once he doesnt have the mortgage in his control.

Wimpey homes have a development in eastbourne were they will do 75% then an equity lone - lots of the builders are doing this so have a look what develpoments are round you and then go on there websites to see what they offer?