Activities - who should pay?

[DragonBoots]

I'm a single mum, with two teenage kids. I am the resident parent, and the ex sees the kids EOW. He doesn't see them during the week because of his work commitments and distance from his house.

Recently, Ex has been badgering me to enroll the kids in after school activities. Trouble is they've tried several clubs in the past and given up after a few goes. My DD has now decided she desperately wants to join a sports club, as it's something she's decided she really wants to get into and some of her mates have joined - I think ex has been working on her because it's a sport he used to be involved in so no doubt he's persuaded her to want to try it. I have no doubt she will give up on it after a few sessions, like she has before. Ex has been complaining that the DCs are overweight and says that joining clubs is a good way to and limit their screen time, as if it's that easy to force them to go.

I work full time, and once I've completed work and household chores I'm rarely free until the evening to ferry them around to clubs. I need my down time after working all day. I've explained this to ex, and he has suggested I pay for a taxi to take DD to her club if I can't drive her. I've told him this is simply not an option within my budget.

My child maintenance of £740/month makes it difficult enough to balance my household budget whilst feeding and clothing two growing teenagers. I've explained to them that sometimes they can't have everything they want. However, ex thinks that I should be paying for these clubs and providing transport from my own funds.

Surely he should be paying for them to go if he really wants them to?

Your dd wants to do the club.
Most parents don't get downtime. I never sit down b4 10pm.
Why should she miss out.
I take my kids where they need within reason.
Example today ds is doing an activity its 45 min drive for 3.15pm
Im just about to leave i get back at 4. Pick dd up to take to her club for 4.15. Wait around 45 min. Drop her back then go. 45 min to get ds for 6pm. Home 6.45pm
He then6has football at 7 45 so quick snack then leave 7.15.
Home 9.30/45
Then cook dinner, eat, wash kit. Shower. Bed.
Thats part of being a parent.
I also have a 2yr old to deal with

And you get 4 x the cms i get. I pay for ds clubs. Very seldom his dad will give anything towards anything. Foe example £645 school trip he gave me the £45

OP despite the fact it's your ex suggesting activities in your time that you facilitate, I think you need to give it a try for your DD's sake.

Your DD has asked you a few times about this sports activity, plus she is overweight so you supporting her with it really is a no brainer; a lot of teenage girls will do anything to get out of sports, so even if your DD only does it for a few months, it'll help her get into an exercising mindset.

I absolutely know what you are saying about the Friday night downtime, however would it be possible for you to do this on Saturday evening instead?

I'm also a single parent who works full-time, 3 days a week in a Central London office so have to use wraparound care. My EX who sees the DC for 4 nights per month, and pays £610 in maintenance.

My 2 DC's various extracurricular activities costs are:

Football £50
Martial Arts £70
Swimming £120
Trampolining £100

I don't bother asking my EX for more money on top of CMS for the activities, mainly because I can afford to pay it myself and he would make a huge fuss. I facilitate logistics of all of these activities apart from the 4 days they are with their dad, when he takes them to the relevant activity. Would it be possible for you EX to take your DD every other week? You'd only have to do it twice a month then, which shouldn't be too onerous.