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Original poster

Ex H knows I have been out with another man

223 replies

Pinkchampagne · 01/10/2007 00:26

He got DS1 to phone me on my mobile tonight, then got DS2, then spoke to me himself, asking where I was (he could hear background music), to which I said "Out with a friend"
He said "Put your friend on the phone then"
I told him it was none of his business who I was put with, and he laughed, sating "If only your boys knew"
He then text to say "Give him a kiss from me"

I know he is going to be a real git about this now, and worry he may get more difficult about having the boys so freely.

I know it shouldn't bother me, but I was quite shaky after all that.

OP posts:
Original poster
Pinkchampagne · 05/10/2007 17:14

She is unbelievable at times.
I was hoping that telling her would stop her trying to push us back together etc, but I am doubtful it will.

She said that ex H would be devastated, and poor him etc. It made no difference when I told her about him & the barmaid because that was ok as that's what men do!
She also said that it was her greatest fear that I will get pregnant!!
I told her to leave that concern to me, and that it wasn't up there on my "to do" list!

She said she wasn't ok with it, but so long as I was happy, which I felt was a bit of a dig.

OP posts:
LadyTophamHatt · 05/10/2007 17:25

PC, my chin just hit the floor when I read what your mother said....

You're a better woman than I am because I would have gone beserk.

Original poster
Pinkchampagne · 05/10/2007 17:25

She has said she won't tell dad (I'm sure she will though) because dad won't like it, and she has told me that dad wouldn't talk to him if he met him!

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Original poster
Pinkchampagne · 05/10/2007 17:28

I didn't go berserk, but I did try to put her straight.
I said that I could not keep my life on hold for fear of upsetting ex H, and that he has hardly been a saint.

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Original poster
Pinkchampagne · 06/10/2007 17:20

Been invited round my parents house for dinner tonight. Mum says it's for my birthday, and my sister is coming over (not seen her for a few weeks), so I should go round, but I have a feeling it could be a disaster.

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fransmomkenstein · 06/10/2007 18:34

ghi pc and tye sorry i haven;t posted for a while have been sorting things here. x is leaving tonight and tkaing pc with him, will have interent but no pc. i have to be short and sweeta as i don'ty know what time he is comping to get pc.

hope you aLL OK nd qill try and catch up with librrary access soon xxxx
thanks for all uyou r hrlpe esp dd who is sitting on my lap and sometimes obcscuring keynboiard
bye for nwo xxxxxxxxxx

Original poster
Pinkchampagne · 07/10/2007 00:46

Nightmare evening. My sister is now tearful at the thought of me moving on, and ex H no longer being a in the picture where I am concerned.

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tribpot · 07/10/2007 01:00

Well tough, PC! This isn't about her, it's about you. Didn't she think this was going to happen when you got divorced? Yet more emotional blackmail / controlling tactics from your deranged family,

Original poster
Pinkchampagne · 07/10/2007 08:59

My mum has just been round to drop boys back (they stayed with her last night), and it appears that dad now knows I am seeing someone else.
Mum says he is upset by this, and he has said he will never ever accept another man, as in his eyes ex H is family.

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Freckle · 07/10/2007 09:04

You should just tell your mum that if your dad values ex-H over your happiness then he's not much of a dad.

Anyway, no one's asking him to accept another man. It's not as if you are marrying this chap, is it??

Your sister has obviously been worked on by your parents and is adding to the emotional blackmail (probably been got at by your BIL too), so you must be strong and not give in.

Carmenere · 07/10/2007 09:06

Jeez PC you get the all time mn prize for the most unsupportive family. They are soooo fucked up, I really feel for you.

Original poster
Pinkchampagne · 07/10/2007 09:11

If he refuses to accept any other man I ever go out with, then I will just make sure I never introduce them to him.

Ex H was out with my dad all day yesterday, helping dad choose his new car.
No-one is stopping them from having a close relationship, but he can't expect me to put my life on hold incase I cause the family & ex H upset!

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fawkeoff · 07/10/2007 09:11

what ever happened to supporting your family?????.they are using emotional blackmail against you,if they dont have anything supportive to say to you then they should keep their noses out.what is going to happen when he finds someone new and it becomes serious???? will they treat him the same way as they have you?

Original poster
Pinkchampagne · 07/10/2007 09:18

I asked mum if dad knew that ex H hadn't exactually put his life on hold, and she said "Well I am amazed he lasted as long as he did - you can't expect a man to stay celibate!"

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NotQuiteCockney · 07/10/2007 09:21

But you can expect a woman to?

Your parents are being dreadful, pc.

fawkeoff · 07/10/2007 09:21

I think that is is just so selfish of them to expect you to never have a relationship or feel comfortable in introducing a new man into the family just because they dont like the idea of it.sorry to be nosey but how is the new relationship going i have nosied at your past threads

Original poster
Pinkchampagne · 07/10/2007 09:34

it's going ok. We only see each other at weekends because he works lates in the week, and he lives 30 miles from me, but that's just fine.
He was out in my town last night, and came round to see me when I got back from my parents because I needed someone sane to talk to!
He is coming round later this evening, once I have put the boys to bed.

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tribpot · 07/10/2007 09:35

Just bide your time, PC. Eventually the exH will meet someone else (god help her) and, when it gets serious, she's clearly not going to be wanting him spending all his time hanging around his ex-wife's family.

Your family worships the ground ex-H walks on because he is so like them and validates their behaviour and family dynamic. Well, let them. You clearly can't do anything about it - he can do no wrong, you can do no right. Hard as it is, I think you need to work on accepting their inability for care for you - and thanking god your own little boys have a decent mother!

You're doing so well, and to be doing so with the active discouragement of your family is even better.

fawkeoff · 07/10/2007 09:41

im seconding tribpot- they only like him because he kisses their arses all the time

Original poster
Pinkchampagne · 07/10/2007 09:49

According to the man I have been seeing, ex H has been meeting up with an ex girlfriend of one of his friends. He told me last night, and apologised incase it upset me.
I said "Best of luck to her!"

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fawkeoff · 07/10/2007 10:00

i dont understand why people wpuld think that it would upset you that he is seeing someone??? you divorced him ffs, does everyone think you did it for a joke....sick minds im tellin ya

lou33 · 07/10/2007 10:02

blimey pc

i really think you should seriously think about cutting contact with your family

and also just dont tell them anything

Original poster
Pinkchampagne · 07/10/2007 11:01

My sister found out about me seeing someone from ex H, I didn't tell her.
Mum says that dad asked what was going on, so she told him, and he is upset about it all.

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Original poster
Pinkchampagne · 07/10/2007 11:02

Mum even advised me to hide away the card & rose that this man sent me, incase ex H saw them & got upset!

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lou33 · 07/10/2007 11:08

speechless

stop letting them interfere, they do not have your best interests at heart