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Original poster

Ex H knows I have been out with another man

223 replies

Pinkchampagne · 01/10/2007 00:26

He got DS1 to phone me on my mobile tonight, then got DS2, then spoke to me himself, asking where I was (he could hear background music), to which I said "Out with a friend"
He said "Put your friend on the phone then"
I told him it was none of his business who I was put with, and he laughed, sating "If only your boys knew"
He then text to say "Give him a kiss from me"

I know he is going to be a real git about this now, and worry he may get more difficult about having the boys so freely.

I know it shouldn't bother me, but I was quite shaky after all that.

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Original poster
Pinkchampagne · 01/10/2007 20:15

I spoke to ex H when he phoned to talk to the boys tonight.
I told him that DS1 had said something about him coming for a sleepover, and did he know anything about it.
He said "Oh, he asked about that this morning, not sure why"
I said "Well he said that you have told him you will sleepover sometime, so I had to explain that wasn't going to happen"
He said that he hadn't said anything, but that DS had brought it up out of the blue.
I then told him that DS is obviously feeling a bit confused, so best we make it as clear as we can, that there will be no sleepovers between the two of us.
He just said "Ahh, bless him" to that.

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Original poster
Pinkchampagne · 01/10/2007 20:16

Not totally convinced by ex H

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tribpot · 01/10/2007 20:18

No - this is the problem, there's no reason to suppose ex H is telling you the truth. If it keeps happening, you have reason to be suspicious.

Freckle · 01/10/2007 20:25

Perhaps you need to put the idea in the boys' heads that daddy likes to joke a lot. That he often says things in jest without meaning it and that, if he says anything that they are not sure about, they should ask you.

Hopefully, they talk to you anyway about stuff which goes on with exH, but that way they will know to talk about anything which particularly bothers them about what daddy says.

Original poster
Pinkchampagne · 01/10/2007 20:44

I will do, Freckle.

Ex H is quite good at lying to try to cover himself, and has done this a lot in the past, so I am not totally convinced by what he says.

SSN - I have just noticed your earlier post, asking why I chose not to mention his little adventures with the barmaid to my parents.
The reason I didn't mention it at the time, was because I thought they would just say "Well you chose to leave him" or words to that effect, and I couldn't be done with it all.
Also, if they had have shown concern, it would only be because they would see it as less chance of us getting back together, and panic.

Something might just slip out soon though, but I'll pick my moment!

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pinkbubble · 01/10/2007 20:54

PC, if you need time over the weekend to have it out with exDH, then I am around and more than happy to have DSs. I really do think you need a face to face conversation with ex, so you can see whether you think he is lying, its easier to lie over the phone. I think he needs a reality check about whose life on yours!

Original poster
Pinkchampagne · 01/10/2007 21:34

Thanks for the offer, bubble, but it makes no difference seeing him face to face.
Might be creeping for a bit of babysitting if he gets difficult about having boys now, but hopefully he won't, as they are his children too.

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pinkbubble · 01/10/2007 21:56

PLease just ask away, I have such a social life at the mo!!!!! I'm sure I can fit them in somewhere! Also you wont have to answer to me either!

Original poster
Pinkchampagne · 02/10/2007 08:12

This is very true, bubble, but I will try to avoid landing them on you if possible!

What do you mean no social life? We are out tomorrow are we not??

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Original poster
Pinkchampagne · 02/10/2007 20:37

Ex H nipped in to see the boys on his way to work this evening, and has left me a birthday present for tomorrow.
Seems a bit strange (he didn't get me anything last year, and we were still living together), and he has gone suprisingly quiet re Sunday night.
I can't help but feel a bit suspitious.

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fransmom · 02/10/2007 20:48

hi pc, oh gawd is he at it again?

please listen to what blu said about changing your locks sweetheart, i don't like what he's been saying at all and then saying the boys made it up?

i do like the idea of you picking your moment when asking your mother about ehr weekedn and then saying about your 'lovely weekend, now that you know x has moved on by seeing his barmaid friend - oh did he not tell you, mom? i'm sorry i didn't realise it was a secret, perhaps he'll tell you himself when he's ready' kind of thing

i can see xp behaving like this when i tell him i want him to go.

fransmom · 02/10/2007 20:49

def strange about present btw, please get those locks changed.

Original poster
Pinkchampagne · 02/10/2007 20:58

Hi FM, how are things with you?

Ex H isn't (as far as I know) really seeing this barmaid, but was just getting naked with her at the end of the night!
He tried to tell me that she has been hassling him, and ruined his last years worth of nights out!!!

What's happening your end atm?

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Tinkerbel5 · 02/10/2007 20:59

if you cant change the locks cause its in both your names then at least get a chub lock that you can double lock from the inside, the present is just a way of getting into your good books but in the end it will just make you more annoyed that he isnt accepting the split.

Original poster
Pinkchampagne · 02/10/2007 21:00

The house isn't in both names, Tinkerbel, it is only in my name.

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fransmom · 02/10/2007 21:06

will post in min pc as linking to that pink box on right

fransmom · 02/10/2007 21:11

such alot to know about has opened my eyes a bitmore

as for the house being in your own name pc > there is nothing at all stopping you from changing your locks.

Original poster
Pinkchampagne · 02/10/2007 21:11

Oh FM, I am sorry you're going through all this.

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fransmom · 02/10/2007 21:13

it has to be done though doesn't it? otherwise i will keep going back and hurt myself even more.b here;s me thinkign i could be amicabel about it and well, i just want him out.

fransmom · 02/10/2007 21:13

amicable

fransmom · 02/10/2007 21:14

talk about fate tho - have been thinking of contacting gingerbread and poof! there it is, the link straight to them

Original poster
Pinkchampagne · 02/10/2007 21:17

The bit you are going through is the hardest part, FM, but like you say, if things are that bad between you, it needs to be done to be done. I know how hard it is, but it does get easier with time.
Have you been to the CAB?

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Original poster
Pinkchampagne · 02/10/2007 21:18

excuse my double "to be done"!

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fransmom · 02/10/2007 21:19

not yet, will go on friday. (my first day off).

fransmom · 02/10/2007 21:20

i think i will phone my friend tomorrow (when i am at work) and ask if she can look after dd for me on friday