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Original poster

Ex H knows I have been out with another man

223 replies

Pinkchampagne · 01/10/2007 00:26

He got DS1 to phone me on my mobile tonight, then got DS2, then spoke to me himself, asking where I was (he could hear background music), to which I said "Out with a friend"
He said "Put your friend on the phone then"
I told him it was none of his business who I was put with, and he laughed, sating "If only your boys knew"
He then text to say "Give him a kiss from me"

I know he is going to be a real git about this now, and worry he may get more difficult about having the boys so freely.

I know it shouldn't bother me, but I was quite shaky after all that.

OP posts:
fransmom · 02/10/2007 21:21

ps you're excused

Original poster
Pinkchampagne · 02/10/2007 21:26

It's good to get extra info, and know exactually what you're entitled to etc.

Take care.x

OP posts:
tribpot · 02/10/2007 23:21

PC I wish you would think seriously about changing the locks. If nothing else, they need to get the message that they no longer control you and so don't get a key to your house.

The birthday present is a red herring, I'm sure it's all connected with the "don't tell your parents about the barmaid" caper. I would just drop him in it in a perfectly routine "nowt to do with me" manner, which is what it is.

fransmom · 03/10/2007 12:32

hows things today?
x just back from docs with dd let you know xxx

Original poster
Pinkchampagne · 03/10/2007 12:48

Other than being depressed at reaching 35, I am fine today thanks, FM!

Ex H is remaining strangly quiet, but the present thing was odd. It was an Ipod btw. Very generous, but sure there is something behind it.

How are you today?

OP posts:
Lorayn · 03/10/2007 12:52

Oh crikey, pinkchampagne, I have no real idea of what went on before this so am coming it at kind of blind, I think I managed to get the gist through other posts though.

This man has no control over you, and no say in what you do.

I split with my DC's father over 2 years ago and he was such a fucking wanker tool. I had the things coming back through the children, questions about what I was doing and with who, accusations of being in places I wasnt, whilst at the same time hearing all these stories about the girls he was sleeping with and even had some deluded young girl (practically a child) coming into my work telling me to 'leave him alone, he finished with you and doesnt want you back, let us just get on with it' (I ended it and was getting begging calls at least once a week).

I even had him call me one morning and ask why I was awake at 4am the night before, apparently he had someone drive past my house after they had been out and saw my light on!!!
Until you make a stand and put him in his place this will carry on Once he knew for definite that I was seeing someone he would drive past my house to look for their car, and was banging on my door at midnight, pissed up with friends saying he ahd come to 'join the party' thinking the guy I was seeing would be there. This is not something you want to happen so you must take action.

You need to talk to both your children and your parents to minimalise any damage he ma try and do. Obviously you don't have to explain yourself to them, just drop things into conversation. Do you have many male friends?? I found it easy to spend time with my DC's around a couple of my male friends, sometimes with their girlfriends too (if exdp had told them they were my boyfriend, dd would have set him straight 'no, he has a girlfriend, I met her shes called blah blah'), so they got used to the idea of mummy having men as friends.

Anticipate everything and act before he does, IME they can become very snide and seem to think that as you are the mother of their children that you should live your life as they want you to, whilst conveniently forgetting they are doing whatever they feel like!!!

I really hope you manage to get this sorted out, and I agree with everyone esle, at the very least change your locks.

Blu · 03/10/2007 13:00

HAPPY BIRTHDAY PINKCHAMPAGNE!

Enjoy yourself tonight!

XXXXXXXXXXXXX from me.

TheCurseOfTheMhummy · 03/10/2007 13:08

Ooh off to read the thread but Happy Birthday Pinkchampagne!

Original poster
Pinkchampagne · 03/10/2007 13:10

Thanks, Blu.

Lorayn - sounds like you had an awful time with your ex.
I can imagine my ex playing games once he is sure I am seeing someone else, and know that I probably should change my locks, even though (to my knowledge) ex H no longer has a key to my house.

OP posts:
Original poster
Pinkchampagne · 03/10/2007 13:11

Thanks, Mhamai. (I am presuming it's you!)

OP posts:
LoRayningNewtsAndFrogs · 03/10/2007 13:18

PC, even if it is too much hassle to change all your locks you could add another one, without too much hassle.

Original poster
Pinkchampagne · 03/10/2007 13:30

Might try that option. I have details of a locksmith here, so should give them a ring.

Just received a rose & chocolates from this man I have been dating, which may get ex & my parents minds working in overdrive when they come round!

OP posts:
TheCurseOfTheMhummy · 03/10/2007 13:31

Tis me PC, honestly what gives with that man, you have loads of good advice here so I won't chip in. I'm so happy for you re seeing the new guy. You deserve to be happy. Oh and feck off with 35 being old, I'm 40! Your only a slip of a thing. I see that your going to the xmas do, can't wait to meet you.

Original poster
Pinkchampagne · 03/10/2007 13:35

I am indeed, Mhamai, will be good to see you again. I did bump into you in the toilets last year, but you may not remember!

OP posts:
TheCurseOfTheMhummy · 03/10/2007 13:38

Will be on my best bestish behaviour this year!!!!!!!!!

lou33 · 03/10/2007 13:44

happy birthday pc

can you get on msn for a bit by any chance?

Original poster
Pinkchampagne · 03/10/2007 14:59

I have signed in, Lou, but mum is going to be back soon (she is picking up boys), so will have to wait until she's gone before I can have a proper conversation!

OP posts:
Original poster
Pinkchampagne · 03/10/2007 15:02

Lol, Mhamai! I take it you don't remember speaking to me then!!

OP posts:
lou33 · 03/10/2007 15:11

i've left you a message on msn, i have to go get kids

Original poster
Pinkchampagne · 03/10/2007 15:41

Told my mum, but she was about to go through my cards, so had to really!

She was kind of ok, but kept saying how sorry she felt for ex H, even though I told her he had been messing about with this barmaid!

OP posts:
Original poster
Pinkchampagne · 03/10/2007 15:42

Lou - read message & given a quick reply. You do make me laugh!

OP posts:
TheCurseOfTheMhummy · 03/10/2007 15:45

I do vaguely remember the toilets. I was quite piddly, so it's a bit hazy but I really do look forward to meeting you this year.

Blu · 03/10/2007 15:52

oooh, you told your Mum about the barmaid - tee hee. Good! What did she say?

Of course she feels sorry for him, he has been twanging her heart strings for the last year! I would like to see her face were you ever to say 'I don't know why you stick up for him so much - one of the things he used to shout at me was that I was too much like you'

Glad your date sent you something.

Original poster
Pinkchampagne · 03/10/2007 15:57

Her response to me telling her about the barmaid was "Well that's a bit different to seeing someone"
I said "Yes, it's worse!"
She then said (as expected) "Well of course he's going to - he's a man, and it's either do that or do it in a cupboard!"
a cupboard?? What's wrong with the bathroom??!!

Anyway, it's all out!

OP posts:
tribpot · 03/10/2007 16:01

HAPPY BIRTHDAY PINK CHAMPAGNE!