Staggered that school let my ex pick up daughter an hour early from school without contacting me until she had left the building.

[chocolatespiders]

Been split for year and have a contact agreement reached through mediation..
He has dd every other weekend (although isnt having her next weekend as he is going away)

Anyway few weeks ago ex goes into school with our contact agreement tells the school he is picking dd up early, goes back an hour later and takes dd sobbing out of the school. Ex is not known by the school as he has never been in there and has never attended parents evening so they don't know him although he is an emergency contact on dd's forms.

Head spoke to dd on her own and dd told her that yes she does see her dad regularly but that I was picking her up that day. She was then carried out if the school crying.

I cant believe that the school didn't think to give me a quick call to check this out.

School said well he had a contact order with him- but this does not give clear indication of who has dd on which dates.

I realise that ex put the school into a very difficult situation but I am still shocked at this and think about it every day when walking to pick dd up. Not nice for dd either who was taken out in the middle of lesson completely unexpected.

They did contact her but it was a little latte -read the circumstances

School never met Dad
He is an emergency contact -but this is not an emergency
Wants to take her out early
Mum usually picks up - has not said anything to school about change of pick up today.
Mum & Dad are separated - accept the contact order - but shows there has been some disagreement
Child is upset .

Not your everyday occurrence .

We have no idea what reason the ex gave the school. Perhaps he had or had fabricated a pretty good reason. The OP hasn't been back to clarify why he said he needed to leave.

Grandpa hasn't got PR that's why!!!! Only 2 people have..... They are both equals. In this case, mum and dad

I turned up at school and took my ds with no notice once. ALL it took was a quick explanation, no searching questions at all.

I must admit that I am surprised that there are seemingly so many lax primary schools out there.

Mind you there was a thread a few months ago where a school gave a child to the GP who school had specifically said must not collect and had a copy of court order saying so.

I wouldn't be happy with this at DDs school I would expect them to have procedures for these types of things.

And are you all assuming this was a very young child?

You are assuming primary, I guess CIA child was crying. We don't even have 'primary' schools here

The idea that it would be wrong of school to make a call in the hour that they had is something I simply don't understand.

I am feeling a bit sorry for poor old grandpa - of course he is allowed to pick DC up.

Some people here are putting letter of the law over basic common sense I feel.

As a school governor - and this had happened at my school and the mother complained that she was only contacted after child had gone in these circumstance I would certainly be asking questions - I am also the Governor responsible for Safeguarding.

Childs welfare is most important - sorry must stop repeating myself !

What relevance is it what sort of school systems operate in different countries?

I assume primary because she was ' carried out of school crying '

Dad is higher in the pick up 'hierarchy' than grandpa though...

Because it has different procedures!

Assuming young child because

Crying
Waiting outside classroom to collect
Child was carried out of school

Our school would not operate a "hierarchy" but use common sense.

Someone they know and see twice a week over someone they don't know from adam

Obvious innit

Surely this thread is working on the principle that the primary school has fairly standard UK ideas and procedures

Not sure the point of comparing it to what they do in Hungary or somewhere.

What rhino said

Not sure why people are arguing it TBH

It's a 2 min phone call which they had an hour to make. They should have made the call.

But what were the school supposed to do after they had phone the OP to check it was ok??

They would of had to let dd go anyway!

No, I'm in uk not Hungary!

Anyway in this case dad got his own way. He has PR. School I guess know not to meddle with the legal system.

Neither the OP nor the school were in a position to stop xp taking dd out of school early.

That's not the thought process I would expect them to use TBH.

What's the point in bothering ringing anyone, I can't do anything anyway.

And in which case why did they call after he had taken the child. That seems odd TBH.

How is it "meddling in the legal system" to make a quick call to check that it is OK for someone they have never seen before to remove a child early from school, when said child is saying it's not what's supposed to be happening and is crying?

If the mother gave good reason - by that indicatinghave any significant harm would come to child - emotional , physical etc then they would not let DD go with father - A phone call then to the relevant Children's Services if necessary.
As a Governor I would fully support the school in that matter.

Shall I repeat ' childs welfare is most important'

I think op says the call to her was to prevent her coming all the way to school at pick up time

Due to dad having PR he may be on the mail list of NRP parents who keep up to date with child's education that way. It's his 'right' after all. So school would have an address for him

And it's confidential info, so op would have no idea he is on that list