Am I being too fussy?

[salizchap]

OK, after the passing of yet another waste of space relationship, I have put a new profile on POF in the ever unrealistic optimistic hope of atracting mr right.

Is it me? 4 men have contacted me recently. Although I specifically say on my profile that I only want to date locally, the first man lives 200 miles away. The second just looks miserable and doesn't smile in any of his 10 pics. The third is unattractive and only writes 2 lines in his profile. The fourth is ok in his pic but his ortography, spelling and punctuation is awful.

None has an interesting or well paid job (full time student, lorry driver, shop worker, unemployed). I would like, for a change, date a professional man who might be able to treat me occasionally, especially as a lone parent I struggle to make ends meet. I am fed up of landing blokes who are worse with finances than me and just make my life more complicated.

Am I expecting too much? Am I being a job snob?

What is "ortography"?

You're on the wrong site. Try Guardian Soulmates or the Times/Telegraph equivalents.

There's also a site here which has a free forum and a (complicated) way of messaging if you don't pay.

There's also another site here which allows free membership and up to 3 messages per day - MORE than enough!!

You're not being a job snob if what you're wanting is in line with what you do yourself.

Not fussy, I wouldn't date him either. Why don't you approach some of the men you like? Read their profiles and if they fit your specifications, then message them. Thats what I did, it worked for me.

POF is not a good site to find people who are serious about dating. I've heard the guardian site is good too and that My Single Friend one.

No, I wouldn't say you were fussy, don't lower your standards. I don't reply to the text speakers or men with bad spelling/grammar. I am no PoF but have been messaged by 'reasonable' men so far, have even replied to some ha. If nothing happens on PoF I will then go onto a paying site as I agree that is where the 'serious' people will be.

Do you message men first? That is the way to do it on POF. There are some great men on there (have snared one myself, so far so good) but sitting back and waitign for them to message you? No no no. Take the initiative

Ooo jaqui, how goes it?
I invited man round to mine on Monday night and the crush is back on . V gentlemanly, and a little kiss as he was leaving. Going for dinner tomorrow, followed by a walk by the river :)

Aww way to go Boo. Mine is not faring too well, I think he has lost interest . However, I have hit PoF big time and mass messaged to see what happens - watch this space .

Don't lower your standards and don't settle!

I used to think the same as you and wondered if I was asking too much for someone decent who'd want to be with a single parent.

Fast forward a few years and I'm with a lovely man: Clever, sexy funny, Ivy League graduate, six figure salary. I'd been single for five years before that but it was definitely worth the wait.

POF isn't a very serious site, I agree - GU Soulmates men can be a bit arrogant but there are more professionals on there (but I met DH through friends).

Thanks for the advice. I will check out some of the alternative sites mensioned.

plenty of fish, free dating site.

Boo, what's the thinking on the wardrobe this time?

Not sure. The heavens look like they're about to open, which throws me into wardrobe chaos. The drama. I did want to wear a dress, but tbh I will not be able to walk in the heels needed, and if I were a man it would pee me off no end to have someone hobbling along next to me. It may have to be my trusty skinnies, tucked into some really nice black boots I have (smart ones, but verging on the slutty thanks to the heel ) with a nice top. Push comes to shove, I shall take my converse in the car and change into them after the meal. He's seen me in flipflops, he's under no illusions
Really, really looking forward to tonight, will give a full report tomorrow

OP, how are things going?

Boo, c'mon, spill the beans .

Ah Jaqui, it went very well. Lovely meal, lovely walk. The slutty boots were a hit but tbh I shall stick to my flats from now on- we walked with our arms around each other and the extra height made it a bit awkward. I love that we are still taking everything very slow. He's coming over again on monday for a movie and a takeaway, tbh I want to invite him over tonight but will leave it and take a cold shower instead

Well I have been on loveandfriends.com, nothing yet!

Trouble is, there seems to be a shortage of available, 30/40 something, working men who would comtemplate dating a size 22 lady in Devon. All the men that interest and are interested in me seem to live in London or the North!

I get a lot of young 20 something guys who are obviously after NSA sex, or old men, or wasters/freaks.

I mean, I know I am fat, but I am not ugly. I guess for a lot of men, those two things are not mutually exclusive.

Ah, well. I will keep my chin up and keep on regardless.

OMG ladies, have you worked out that all three of us are in Devon?!?!?!?

saliz, never heard of that site, may well google it . Get yourself on as many dating sites as you can, there is someone out there for everyone.

boo, way to go girl, cold shower indeed .

My guy hasn't been in touch for a few days, some might say not to worry, but he would text every morning and throughout the day, guess that one is done and dusted then.

So, same as saliz, chin up and keep on regardless.

Haha! Well, there is obviously a serious shortage of eligible bachelors round here. I have been thinking of moving to the Shetland Islands or something. Isn't there a shortage of women up there? Might have better luck.

Bloomin' cold in Shetland though .

I have a couple of 'prospects' that are emailing. One is quite chatty and I actually thought he might suggest a meet up this weekend, got that wrong didn't I , the other seems quite shy, which isn't a problem but dear god, someone get me out of here on a Saturday night!!

Keep checkin' em out saliz.

Oh and I secretly think that boo got her man round last night as she hasn't posted recently .

My ears are burning.
Nope, no man action here, I spent the night at my friends house with the dc all tucked in so we could have a girlie night while they had a sleepover. This is the friend who got me on POF, and tbh she is having no luck. She has fabulous huge natural boobs and it seems to be attracting the weirdos.
He text me yesterday saying he has something to ask me on Monday, but that it will keep til then. My mind is running wild I can tell you

Hi boo, glad you had a good evening. How on earth are you supposed to wait til Monday, that is so unfair .

How cruel! You have to wait till Monday! God my mind would be doing overtime if I were you.

I have been exchanging messages with a couple of men for the last 2 days. But it's such hard work. Either they are shy, or they aren't that interested. It's like watching paint dry. They also live in London and sheffield. Too far way TBH.

Hi saliz, I agree about watching paint dry but you've got to keep at it. Why not think of these guys as practice runs til someone local 'turns up'. I am getting so bored at spending weekends alone,will probably make a date with MrTotallyUnsuitable just to get out .

Boo, well?????