Am I being too fussy?

[salizchap]

OK, after the passing of yet another waste of space relationship, I have put a new profile on POF in the ever unrealistic optimistic hope of atracting mr right.

Is it me? 4 men have contacted me recently. Although I specifically say on my profile that I only want to date locally, the first man lives 200 miles away. The second just looks miserable and doesn't smile in any of his 10 pics. The third is unattractive and only writes 2 lines in his profile. The fourth is ok in his pic but his ortography, spelling and punctuation is awful.

None has an interesting or well paid job (full time student, lorry driver, shop worker, unemployed). I would like, for a change, date a professional man who might be able to treat me occasionally, especially as a lone parent I struggle to make ends meet. I am fed up of landing blokes who are worse with finances than me and just make my life more complicated.

Am I expecting too much? Am I being a job snob?

yep, tonight gawd help me.

JaquiChan and BooBooGlass, hope you both have a fantastic evening. xxx

I've been e-mailing my non asker outer for a good couple of weeks, perhaps more. He often takes a few days to reply to e-mails but when he does, he appears quite interested and asks me lots of questions about myself... I just dunno. I could ask him, I don't have a problem with asking men out - it's just that I know some men don't like it. But then again would I really want to be with a man who felt threatened by a woman taking the initiative...

Anyway, will be following this thread with interest to see how your dates went

reporting back.......OMFG...he is on PoF as 39 and is actually 50!!!!

So is it dead in the water or is it a goer anyway?? Ah, had a fabulous kiss last night, feeling all loved up this morning. I think Jaqui if I'm afraid of anything it's that he's not telling me somehting. No reason to think that except my own insecurity. But when and how did he tell you about his age??? Were his pictures old ones too??

at the loved up feeling, insecurity is bound to creep in I think, hopefully time will cure it.

Oh it is definitely a non starter. He knocked 11 years off his age!!!! and he is unemployed, not what it says on his profile, not that it would be a problem, it's just not the truth. He talked about something happening in 1976 and I said how old were you then, so I worked it out and said that makes you 50 and he laughed and agreed. Feel like a bit of a mug to be honest.

Have to admit he didn't look 39 but definitely not 50. I was about meeting him because I thought he was a big young!!! I'm old btw . Think we need to start the guide to PoF men correcting the inaccuracies.

I think men often lie on their profiles, especially to add a couple of inches to their height, but eleven years off your age? Why do that? As if the other person isn't going to find out...

Jacqui I am I once met a guy who had knocked almost four years off (he had his 50th while I was seeing him and his friends organised a big surprise lunch, it seemed a bit over the top for a 47th until I did a bit of digging...) 11 years though, definite alarm bells for the dishonesty rather than the age thing.

I know, am kicking myself that I didn't just walk away from him as apart from that he was pretty dull .

Well, you won't believe this...he has emailed me:

enjoyed our first date, would like to go out again if you can bare it. I think it went ok, not too many awkward moments...

erm, how's about the moment when my jaw hit the deck when I found out you were 50!!

So, how do I politely tell him to sod off?

Why be polite?!

Just say, thanks, but no thanks.

Unless you really want to stick the knife in, that is...

Tell him that since he was so honest with you, you feel comfortable telling him that you're really a man, and if he's cool with that, same time and place next week?

Excellent Boo .

Ha ha - definitely go with Boos idea

I had a date last night. It was oooookaaay. Don't think I'll be seeing him again though. Also had a text from Thursdays date saying that a girl he'd been out with a few weeks ago had got back in touch saying she was interested after all, and so he's going to give it a go with her - so no date Thursday.

On the upside, I have been e-mailing this guy who has just given me his phone number and he is GORGEOUS! He's a session musician who plays the saxaphone and also a portrait artist and I can't believe how handsome he is. Yippee!

Handsome is as handsome does...

(Am I turning into my mother?)

MYODD, sexy saxophonist eh, keep us posted.

Not heard from my lying date again, so am ignorning in the hope he will get the hint.

Ok so here's a question for you all. What do you do when a man is sending you texts that are just a little toooo flirtatious for your liking?

I would really like to meet up with said saxophonist - I'm really attracted to his photos (if anyone wants to check him out, he is number 3 in the Guardian Soulmates most popular profile list, his username is Elephant64) but his e-mails and texts have been a little bit too suggestive for me.

Does this mean he's just interested in getting his leg over? How do you make it clear that you are not looking for casual sex without sounding too full on?

Back away now...once they start asking you what underwear you're wearing, you can be sure you are dealing with someone who is not particularly interested in you as a person.

I don't know about being too fussy, I've joined POF I can't even bring myself to read peoples messages, I just cringe at the message title or the posters profile and wait till their message is removed after about a month.

Your not being fussy I joined a singlewithkids dating and really regret it - I have so far blocked 10 pages of men and am now too scared to go back on the site!!! There are a lot of very strange blokes out there........................[losing hope emicom]

Come on ladies, we need updates you know....absolutely zilch happening with me. I decided not to even reply to the 50 year old, he has got the message as I've not heard any more from him.

On another note, anyone know if you can die from lack of sex? .

Ooo Jaqui there you are
All going fabulously well here. He met my best friend last week when we had a night in with a movie and that went really well. He slept over at the weekend, nothing happened but it was so nice to have a cuddle and wak up to him there. We had a big talk, maybe even The Talk, and we agreed we were both on the same page, he respects that I have the dc and that I do not want them introduced to him by them wakign up and findign him there, so he made a stealthy exit at 6am.
I've been feeling a bit conflicted about that. I don't like feelign I am sneaking around my dc. My dd is 6 so I have told her whenever he has been around in case she wakes up it isn't a surprise to her to find someone there, but I've had a big think over the last few days, and actually having private adult time isn't sneaking around really. I don't want to introduce the dc just yet, but I think it might help me and dd to have a quick introduction iyswim. My nan suggested getting him over a bit earlier to have a movie night with her, which is something I do a lot with dd and various other grown up friends, she gets to stay up a little late and have hot chocolate. I'm goign to see if he'd be up for that, because I think it might make it easier, if for nothing else than my conscience, if I know that dd has been introduced to him, especially since we are seeing much more of each other. It's her house too and she has a right to know who's here I think.
So that's my over-analysis of the day. No luck then Jaqui? I'm in the city beginning with E if you're anywhere near? I could fix you up with one of his friends?

Boo, this sounds very promising indeed. I know exactly what you mean about the sneaking around, I feel a little guilty when I go on dates that I'm not spending time with the dcs (although they are older) but boy, do I need a life.

Met a guy yesterday, though we were going for drinks, hell, was I wrong...ended up walking his bloody dog in the freezing cold for an hour - what's that all about then?!?!?

So, no luck here..Boo, I am pretty close to you then...does your guy have an older brother per chance .

I'll ask him Jaqui
I asked him last night if he'd be up for that and he said it was no problem at all, and today text to see if we'd like to do it tomorrow, so assuming it goes well, and really there's no reason to think it wouldn't, it will be a big weight off my shoulders. We're going to see Harry Potter on Thursday too so the week is shaping up nicely :)

wow, sounds like you've really landed on your feet Boo...good to hear things are going well.

Yep, keep me posted on Boo finds Jaqui a love interest!

Boo, you are making me very !

PMSL Jaqui!!! @ 50 yr old lying so bare facedly!!! I agree with boo on this one (ie pretend to be a man), hehe!!

Nothing going on here. No luck at all. Missing sex . Think I need a Fbud, but don't want some sordid perve either. Need romance too, even if it isn't genuine!!!