Am I being too fussy?

[salizchap]

OK, after the passing of yet another waste of space relationship, I have put a new profile on POF in the ever unrealistic optimistic hope of atracting mr right.

Is it me? 4 men have contacted me recently. Although I specifically say on my profile that I only want to date locally, the first man lives 200 miles away. The second just looks miserable and doesn't smile in any of his 10 pics. The third is unattractive and only writes 2 lines in his profile. The fourth is ok in his pic but his ortography, spelling and punctuation is awful.

None has an interesting or well paid job (full time student, lorry driver, shop worker, unemployed). I would like, for a change, date a professional man who might be able to treat me occasionally, especially as a lone parent I struggle to make ends meet. I am fed up of landing blokes who are worse with finances than me and just make my life more complicated.

Am I expecting too much? Am I being a job snob?

O. My. God.
He's invited me to a big ball next month. 5 course dinner, the works.
I am feeling a little , and trying to see it as the amazing gesture it is. I sat and freaked out a little last night, but I've realised that it's probably because my ex never once took me out anywhere. Such a big thing only a couple of months in (it's not for another 6 weeks) has kind of messed my head up a little I suppose, and anyone would do that for me. And I know that that is my issue, it's an amazing thing to do. Would you be a little freaked out too?

Ah wow! I would take it as a sign that he really likes you. (and of course you accepted didn't you?).

Oh yes, I accepted. I am just overthinking. Story of my life . I need to just go with the flow I think

oh definitely go with the flow, I would be sooooooooo excited. No flip flops this time my girl!!!

Jaqui, I had one of those serendipidous moments this morning. I took ds into Starbucks while we waited for the library to open, and there 2 people in front was my ex, ds's dad. He didn't even acknowledge us and it go me really thinking about my expectations of men. He wasn't abusive, just immature and infuriating, and I wasted 3 years of my life with him thinking I wasn't worth any better.
The Boy sent me a message this morning sayign sorry if it seemd too much too soon, and I replied I was surprised, but only because I have become accustomed to arsehole men. He's just text back that there are some good guys left, and that he's glad I'm one of the gooduns too
I do have baggage though. I'm in CBT right now which tbh has really helped me work out why I think so little about myself. I need to believe that I deserve to be loved I think

Your ex sounds like he is still immature and a waste of space, obviously you are better off without him but I can imagine how you were.

It's good you are getting help, you need to moved forward. With luck 'The Boy' will prove to be a good one. Six weeks til the big do, so he is obviously thinking it's more than just a couple of dates. You need to start thinking and believing that you are worth the gold star treatment, because you are. None of us need to or have to put up with the arseholes of this world. You do deserve this Boo, now start panicing about what to wear more than do I deserve this .

Saliz, how are things with you?

Well done boo, on the big ball date!

Not much happening at the mo Jaqui.. about to check out the dating sites, but I don't hold much hope!

What about you Jaqui? any thing new?

saliz, what happened to london and up north chatters?

Me, well I bit the bullet and mass Hi'd on Pof, got some ok replies but jeeez, like you said before, paint drying or what!!!

O jaqui, you didn't just say 'hi' did you? I ignore all the ones that can't be bothered to actually write me a message based on what they have read on my profile. All the ones who say 'hi babe' or something equally idiotic get deleted and blocked by me

No, didn't just hi them, couple of lines of chat . Been texting with a guy for a few days now but to be honest I'm getting a bit bored of waiting for a "do you want to meet", obviously I'm not that interesting .

I've blocked quite a few, as you say, the hi babes ones and the text speakers .

So, how's it going Boo?

He's coming over again tonight, as I can't get a babysitter this week. I'm meeting his friends next week . They're organising a movie night so they can all give me the once over. Nerve wracking or what??

blimey Boo, forget the ballgown, I'd be looking at wedding gowns .

Well, this all seems to be going swimmingly, how many times a week are you seeing him now?

Only twice a week still, we've only really known each other a month though it feels much longer. I am still a bit weirded out by seeing my ex yesterday tbh, it's brought a lot of things to the surface that I'd rather weren't there tbh, namely the massive fear that I will get screwed over again. The bastard He left me when I was pregnant with a very much wanted (so I thought) baby and pretty much just buggered off. I've spent all the time leading up to ds's birth and in the 2.5 years since getting my head around that really, while he walked off without as much as a second glance.
I think we might need to have the 'ex talk' soon, I hadn't realised just how much I was still affected by it, I don't know that I'll ever get over it completely if I'm honest

Boo, you are working on getting over it, you are having CBT and dating, both are really positive steps to building a new life. Try not to dwell on your twat of an ex, you have your lovely ds and a new man....enjoy .

OMG! I was chatting to one guy, from cornwall. He seemed ok except he keeps on calling me sweetheart. Anyway, he didn´t have a photo, so I asked if he had one, but he said something like he doesn´t ever show his photo online because there are a lot of fakes around, yada yada.

Then today I get a message about going to stay the weekend with him and could I leavemy son with my parents...

Was chtting to a friend yesterday who basically told me I might as well give up looking and resign myself to a life of celibacy.

I am beginning to think he might be right.

Jaqui, I am also starting to think that this internet dating lark isn't gon anywhere either! God, they are all so dull!!!

saliz, NO NO NO NO NO.....obviously to MrSweetheart, what the hell was he thinking!! Your friend is wrong I tell you..we must carry on. I have been chatting to a couple of guys, no sign of being asked out yet, but I may just bite the bullet!!

Well I have to tell you, today I completely stepped out of my comfort zone and went all on my own to a salsa class. Been interested in doing it for yonks, I was crap but got to dance with a few blokes, badly, but I chatted to a woman and we are both going back next week. Saliz, maybe a change of plan is needed, concentrate on a social life as opposed to a love life and see what happens. I have to admit to getting tired of the internet dating but I will not give up entirely.

nah youre not too fussy, and def agree to stick with locals - typical, i'm in the north east! so dont be giving up, sure theres a fella out there for us all - except for me of course as i am one:o
you just have to be in the places youd expect to meet your sort of bloke now and then - good luck :o

Please can I join in?!

I'm on a dating site and have been talking to a LOVELY guy - 28, surveyor,looks like Will Young. At first just on the online chat thing, but then exchanged numbers and text/chat all the time. Last night was on the phone 3.5hours! My ex of 3years, baby's dad, is a complete to$$er and made me lose all faith in men, but this guy I'm talking to has me in stitches all the time. He lives about 25miles away but works pretty near me. We're gonna go for a drink, but omg I'm soo nervous. Never met anyone online before. What do I wear?!

Of course you can join in Luceeloo. x

Jaqui, I haven´t quite given up yet. I have started meeting more people locally since DS started the local U8 Rugby team! Quite a nice side benefit along with the cheap clubhouse beer. Ok, mostly women and (taken and off limits) men, but you never know it might open doors to new (single) people.

Thanks Jamestkirk (love the name!). I hope you are right. Else I´ll just buy more cats.

Have you been for that drink yet luceeloo?

Hi luceeloo, get that date sorted!!

Saliz, how's it going with you?

Boo, where are you .

Right here
All is good, he was over last night to watch a movie again, that makes 4 times in one week
Ds has been majorly poorly so I cancelled on Sunday night as I just felt yucky, having been dealing with poo all day, but he was lovely about it and asks about him every day to see if he's better. Poor little man's been ill for a week now :(
I'm meeting his friends on Thursday which is a bit nervewracking, especially since we are still takign it so slow. I don't know if this is a big deal or not tbh, meeting the friends. They're the people we'll be going ot the ball with next month though, so it will be nice to get to know them before then. One of the girls has even offered to fix the hem on my dress which is lovely.
I feel very content with it all right now it has to be said. I am more than happy just to have him over for a movie, there's no pressure, and all seems to be very easy. I've been a little surprised to read threads this week about women introducing their new men so quickly. I have no intention of introducing him for months yet, only when/if we decide we are serious and have a proper future. But one month in I'm not giving that too much thought.
We need to do a meet you know, a massive triple date

Date is tomorrow! Soo excited/ crapping myself! Had my roots done this morning and think I'm gonna go with skinny jeans, heels n nice top. Thoughts please ladies!!