I feel a bit sick and over emotional, can somebody tell me what to do now while i calm down.

[fairyfly]

My boys were picked up by their dad on Friday. Not a very reliable man and this was probably a very stupid idea. I have not been able to get through to him on his mobile. The landline has been ignored. I have constantly been rining as i promised my children i would check they were ok daily and get them if they felt unhappy or anything.
My x's girlfriend has just answered the phone and said they are not with her, they are in Scotland, they are with their Grandad who they hardly know. I didn't even tell them thats where they were going and im not allowed to ring them.
I feel sick.

He has such a vivid grasp of eight-years-old-ness, don't you think, kr?

indeed

oh FF, if you're going to get this deleted then please print it off and keep it to remind yourself what a knob he is (as if you need reminding)

I find this quite scary tbh

I have heard yes thanks Oliveoil, they are fine, wonderful infact.

i mean it's pretty misogynistic. girl spiders? yikes

For teachers of Engerlish Lit
It's important to know if the clit
Is the fruit of a bramble
(in self-absorbed ramble)
And to lighhten your couplets with wit.

My name is James demonstrates his deep affinity with and understanding of small children, can't you see that? You philistines!

FF I do think you should get the thread deleted, but it's been tremendous fun and has had me laughing like I haven't laughed for ages.

was going to go blackberrying this weekend. Think I'll stick to sloes ...

SAve it first, ff!

PMSL Blu

have you emailed mumsnet now?

its one of those sick monets when you start a thread and realise you might get 'found out;' and start to feel a bit sick

Can they just selectively delete his 'poems'? Then you could look back on this when he has got you down again and realise how much better off you are.

I don't care at the moment, he's not going to be googling his poetry lines as we speak, hmmm well actually he probably is with one hand on his cock.

My name is James

Is that his drivel [shcock]

Mind you I think Shock with cock in it was probably more appropriate.

God, yes, it was his drivel, MGR! (Hope you didn't think it was my drivel )

Blu, have you ever thought about becoming a teacher of Engerlish Lit? You'd be brill!

OMG - Jan I thought you had made it up as a piss take. He wrote that crap?

I'm afraid I am not that gifted, kr!

Janh: I've got a half-assed degree in Engerlish Lit. Judging by the competition, I might be able to get a job...hmm....academic holidays...shagging students....

'blackberrying' you mean blu

he's definitely got an 'issue' with women hasn't he?

am so glad about grandad, could change a lot i think.

Picking blackberries can be the new bluebell woods euphemism

Jeezus, he's deranged.

omg, thank you for this thread, I've just snorted with laughter at this. Hilarious, oo and all the other poets, you're very funny. Glad your boys are ok ff.

Ninah's quote about his lighthouse attracting lonely seamen has just made me snurk into my glass of wine. Class.

I've seen his writing before FF, and thought it was utter shite then, but this...this is priceless. How could you have kept it from us all for so long? it's blissfully crappy.

And he just rates himself so much doesn't he? Him and his bobbly bits.